Bipolar check-in #44

Well I ran out to get meds and pick up a few things I had forgotten, brought them home and used a clorox wipe, Snot nosed kid probably stocked it *shudder*

My Hellmart wasnt overly busy, but that place just stresses me out , I kept my distance from people. I do have 2 more meds but I cant get filled til the 18th.. So I will have to go out to get those as they are needed:thud, I do not believe any are close to me, but eventually I think everyone will have to deal with this at some point.

Italy has just past 1000 deaths, So sad for the loved ones

I'm not really talking about his speeches, though. I mean his tweets. He has blamed democrats for coronavirus and said that china was launching a biological weapon of mass destruction.

I can't find those tweets (because he tweets like 50+ times a day), but here are examples:
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/...45593876873217
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/...04509156642816
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/...80284744241154
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/...75196642390022

He also tweeted that we need to finish building the Mexico wall so that coronavirus doesn't continue to infect us, even though Mexico really isn't a "coronavirus threat." He just wants an excuse to build his wall because he hates Mexicans:
https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/...34397172490240

Does your pharmacy have a drive thru? You are less likely to get infected through the drive thru because you're not walking around the store and breathing in the virus droplets from people who don't cover their mouths when coughing. You also won't be using a coronavirus credit card machine and pressing all the coronavirus buttons and using the coronavirus pen to sign because the drive thru doesn't require signatures. Also, the pharmacists probably won't cough all over your meds. So, drive thru is probably your best bet if you can do that.

MAYBE the drive thru box (where the pharmacy places your meds) has coronavirus in it from other people going in the drive thru, but all you need is hand sanitizer. Just bring a plastic bag, open the paper pharmacy bag, turn it inside out (much like you would do with latex gloves that are dirty), and place it in the plastic bag so that you can throw it away. Then, use hand sanitizer to remove the remaining germs off your hands and off your credit card.

I called the case manager again about food stamps. I had left her a message but I thought I'd just try once more. She answered! Miracle of miracles! She said she called yesterday. Hmm... I really missed her call then! Anyway, she answered and asked me a few questions and said to wait for the paper in the mail. Plus, I had to call a number to cancel my old card and get a new one. So that should come in the mail soon.

RANT: IGNORE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ POLITICS.

I’ve blocked that forum where that jerk ghosted me

Do not mess with my cubs.

(not about anyone on pc)

I'm going to go watch a movie in my room. N3 is in his room just playing around- he's supposed to be cleaning it!

I do the same thing as N3... I play around instead of cleaning. I am a professional procrastinator and excuse maker!

What movie are you going to watch?

Les Choristes (The Chorus) About a boarding school for poorly-behaved children. The Chorus (2004 film - Wikipedia)
They get a new prefect and he starts teaching the children how to sing and be a choir. Its got great music and a nice story line.

I go back to work tomorrow and I’m as prepared as I’m going to be I guess. I could ask for more time off but I think it’s just best I go in. The worst part of this job is I am working with flights, hotels, and car rentals all over the world and with the coronavirus – a week ago it was bad the influx of calls and the little I could do. Now look at our situation. What tomorrow night is gonna be like is probably going to be insane and I’ll probably have a panic attack but it’s ride or die at this point. I don’t have supports in place to help me – not that there are many that could anyway – and it’s just something I’m gonna have to struggle through.
So, yes, I’m pissed at the whole world and angry that I have to go through this, but it’s the way of the world. I have to work. I have to get over my own crap and keep going. It may run me into the ground but I’ll just have to keep going anyway. If I plan to survive this life (and I do—no plans of dying, not suicidal), I can be as angry as I can be, but I have to deal with it as it is. I’ve tried everything in my power. The only solution left is maybe part time which would help, I guess – but cause more problems monetarily, so it’s a lose-lose in a lot of ways. I’m just to the point where I’m over it. I’m over trying to rationalize this into something that can be fixed. I’ve just accepted, for right now, it can’t and life has to go on, for right now.

It’s back to praying and distraction to help get me through this indefinite amount of time.

I don't know how to appropriately say this, but given the people you will be working with (indeed, HUGE stress), you will play an important role in helping others during this COVID-19 crisis. If nothing else, please let that help you through it.

I'm going to stop posting today, with this post. I've been on a rampage this afternoon. I felt great this morning, after taking the extra 100 mg Seroquel XR in the morning. I confess that by this afternoon, I had to take 50 mg of the iR "prn". I'm thinking that 700 mg XR and 50 mg iR will be needed for at least another day, or so. I definitely don't want to have to go up to 800 mg, if at all possible.

Bird Dancer, Feel better!

Church services and all choirs rehearsals have been cancelled for the rest of the month. (N3 is in the adult choir.)

I'm fairly surprised that although I'm in the North San Francisco Bay Area and things are spreading quickly and widely around here, nothing's been closed or canceled in my neck of the woods.

That does surprise me. We have 18 cases here in Tennessee and things are starting to shut down.

I hope you feel better soon.

We have several cases of coronavirus here in the town I live in in upstate New York. I can’t afford to stock up on stuff since I’m on SSI and Foodstamps and that’s all i
I have income wise so I’m just staying inside most of the time for now.

Other than that I’m doing really well. I’m finally stable on my meds. I’m doing so much better, I feel really great.

I work in a hospital and we're having daily briefings about the virus. It's making a stressful situation at work even more stressful. But at least my manager is being good about communication and keeping us up to date.

I think I'm experiencing anxiety after a long time - years. My heart beats strangely in the evenings. I asked my pdoc about it and she says that it's not med related and very likely anxiety. She suggested more water, less coffee and suggested I see my regular doc to be sure. I guess the six coffees I have each day are catching up with me. I need the coffee to help get over the depression during the day.

My biggest concern is with the health care system and how well it will be able to handle the loads of infirm. I would hate to see hospitals maxed out like has happened in Italy.

This is actually my fear as well - I also work in a hospital

Im in bed watching a video from 1961 of Russel Oberlin singing. Before that, I watched a DVD about King's College Choir. Both have been soothing. Noah won't stop talking about wanting to move out which is stressing me out. We just are getting our finances balanced and he wants to move out. Actually he wants to quit his job! Wtf?? He wants to go to school. Now back to Russel Oberlin.... Take some of this anxiety away.

@MarcusAurelius: It's good to hear you sounding steadier.

In my news, my mild depression continues. I doubt i'll get my Spring mania. I skipped it last year also. We had a beautiful day tho with lots of sunshine and blue skies to knock your eye out. I got out with my dog for an hour. There isn't much to do but take her out as i don't want to take transit or go to the mall with COVID-19 out and about. Two cases in my city now, both travel-related. A testing center being set up in my area. I feel fine tho. No symptoms. Hope everyone is well and i wish you all a thousand blisses!

Just from experience... Sometimes it is very difficult to live on your own while going to school. I am not talking about living in a dorm, but fully move out.

School is expensive no matter where you go, and you can save a lot of money just by living at home. If he moves out, he will suddenly have lots of bills to pay all on his own, and he may even have to take out regular loans just to pay for his new apartment and related expenses (utilities, food, cooking products, cleaning products, shower curtain, etc.). I would explain that to him.

It is not impossible to live on your own and go to school at the same time, but given the exorbitant costs of going to school, I personally don't think the freedom of living living on your own is worth it if you are in good standing with your parents. (Some kids just hate or dislike their parents, though, and want to be as far away from them as possible because they are bad influences, abusers, etc.. But again, if you have a good relationship with your parents, I would advise against it. I doubt he would regret living at home once he sees how much money he can save. And don't forget that sometimes kids who move out end up going back to their parents' house for financial reasons.)

Can I ask a favor? Might folks please read my post from today in Giddy's Thoughts and give me some feedback? I feel like it's new information and I just wanna know how it sounds to others. Thanks!

I won't have to fret about my French classes for a while. They've cancelled them until likely September. Yes, COVID 19.