Bipolar check-in #44

This is how I feel today...stop posting after this post...I'm experiencing some brain fog and need some time off the internet. I've cut back a lot today, but still sore so hard to get busy with much else...but I'm really struggling with forming responses and in a timely manner...unless I just copy what someone else says. ha!

Anyway, best wishes to you!

Unfortunatly Hellmart doesnt have a drive thru.. Oh how I wish they did... I have a bottle of purell in my purse ... I walked in and luckily the store wasnt packed.. I got my meds, Purelled myself up that had a huge gallon size jug sitting there and the wipes too, I took a wipe to my bank card.. I stayed well away from people.. I also carry purell in my car... I got home took out my meds , washed my hands swipes the bottle with wipes..

You know alot of people have thought I am crazy about germs and this Flu and Virus... But my Father had Leukemia in the hospital 4-6 weeks chemo that had to totally had to wife up his entire immune system, They gave him Chemo untl he was 24 full hours with out a single white cell. He received 6-7 blood tranfusions of packed red blood cells and platlets daily..Then go home for 2 weeks and went back and had to do it again, Any single thing could have killed him... He was on a special diet nothing fresh, no fruit no salads etc , The risk was too high.

I spend hours in full gown , masks and gloves this went on for a year.. he finally got remission for a year but it came back , he fought like hell and he lost...

So I do have an ocd issue with germs, Always had since I worked for Doctors, But after my dad .. Yes I became more careful.. My husband and I both very high risk whether it be the flu or this Corona virus..

Im hoping that with measures being taken that the virus will run its course and go hide under a rock and come back again one day..

Yes things are happening fast, But I honestly feel it is the only way to try and keep people safe...

I think you will likely do much better than you think... Praying and distractions are wonderful

Do whatever you feel is needed right now.. Im always around if you need me

Things are indeed moving quickly, I am sure they are cancelling school. A blanket request from the mayor to have all churches cancel services,No gatherings for anything. Our lil diner that we go to one a month for a treat is closed..

Im am concerned what will be happening in the coming days.

Yes cut all that coffee down, Dont quit it all at once tho as the wicked headaches are just no fun.

Do you have a prn med for anxiety? I didnt see one listed..

Ahhhh Kids

People have forgotten about the flu season. That's still around. They had a report on tonight. Another infant died from the flu. In my state it's one of the worse flu seasons ever. So your not just protecting yourself from the virus but also from the flu that's still out there.

Is anyone else having trouble feeling trapped inside? I am ok until evening and then I'm very anxious. I don't even get out that much normally but just knowing I can't just to the store without risk and incessant germ exposure. I have pretty bad asthma so I'm high risk and therefore am home. At least my mom is next door so as long as neither of gets sick we're able to socialize with each other. Today we took the dogs to the state park and walked them. It was great. But now the anxiety is back. I think I feel like this will last for months, not weeks, and I struggle to comprehend months of phone sessions with my therapist. I don't know if I'm doing a telehealth visit or cancelling this month with my pdoc. I'm supposed to see her Monday but her office is in the hospital and while behavioral health is fairly isolated the rest of the building to get to it is not. So I'm not going near there.

3 days of yogurt and I've not gotten sick yet! I have an upset stomach but I think it was from too much of something else I shouldn't be eating at all but was craving.

Exactly ! Our town is swimming in the Flu... I call my Doctors office every week or two and ask how its going..

Nursing homes are restricting visitors... That happens a couple times all through FLu season which I swear is lasting long and longer..

My Local Hospital has 26 beds.. The have issued notice they are cancelling all routine testing Ultrasounds, Mammo, CT scans and Mri. etc... They are also limiting visitation.. and screen people as they come in for a temp, If they do have one , they are just not allowed in, Unless its a loved one is very ill etc.. that would be case by case and im sure they would be put in Hazmat like suit. or if they needed care because of being ill ..

The closest bigger hospital is 1.5 hours away..

I hope the heart beat turns out to just be from the coffee/anxiety. In terms of anxiety, as someone who is sensitive to caffeine and has recently switched from coffee with tea to reduce caffeine intake, it has made a huge difference. It has improved my sleep schedule, made it easier for me to concentrate believe it or not (due to decreased anxiety I guess) and made me feel so much more relaxed. I hope you also have such benefits.

Im not getting anxiety about self imposed sitting my butt at home right now. But I have land, So I can get out, I feel sorry for people in apartments and homes that are so close together.. I also feel this is not going to be over with any time soon.. I imagine my T's office will close next week..

Hope the upset stomach settles down and you are in the clear with eating more dairy

No I don't have anything for anxiety.

I'll try to reduce the coffee. Thanks Christina

Thanks yellow_fleurs

Good Morning to All,

This thread moves quickly and I cannot possibly respond to everyone in words; please know I am responding in thoughts and prayers, in Love and in Light.

I continue healing from injuries. It's the last time I'll throw myself down the stairs in a fit of rage! I do not recommend it!

We will order the last of anything we may need today and will simply pick-up. I cannot imagine being cooped up for any length of time; I guess many of us feel the same. Other than planning for what we might need in the long haul, I'm going to just take it day-by-day., maybe hour-by-hour on the most trying days!

We are all very lucky! We all have online friendships and can interact with one another throughout this ordeal!
I, for one, am grateful!

Let's prepare wisely, while we look for the silver linings!

Love and Gratitude to All!

Woke up crying today. Had a dream about my dog Biscuit. She lives with my ex and well, I miss her terribly. It’s been almost a year since I last saw her and I doubt she’d even remember me, but I remember her. She was the sweetest dog and she loved unconditionally. I know time and all that will make things better but it’s still so hard sometimes.
It’s been a weird week – you know how certain, smells, sounds, sights can take you back? Well that’s happening a lot right now – where my mindset was different… everything was different. Last spring is when all this started (with the official moving out and back in with my parents) ... and I feel like I’m coming around to it again.
I lost a lot in the last few years and I’ve replaced nothing in my heart. It’s just a hole – a void. I got a lot of issues to work on, but all I can do is grieve it seems. I’m getting tired.

MarcusAurelius

Thanks for this. I'll run it past N3. I talked to my mom about it.

I am almost certain that Biscuit would remember you. Really!

I'm sorry you miss your doggie. At least she is still alive and well.

OMG, I went to the main grocery store to do some main shopping. It was a madhouse. And that was around 10:30 to 11:30 am on a weekday. There is obviously a bit of a panic. Some sections were stocked normally, but other whole sections were completely striped of product. For example, the whole entire raw chicken and bagged bread sections were empty, and the beef section was heading that way. The entire section with paper towels, napkins, and toilet paper was empty. In fact, I saw some woman take the last two rolls of Scott toilet paper (you know the ones individually wrapped in paper). The yogurt section was half empty. I definitely couldn't get our usual types. Eggs looked like they were going fast. I didn't really need another dozen, but I bought one anyway. Also, the frozen vegetable section was almost empty. All that was left were those frozen veggie mixes with sauces, some edamame, frozen Brussels sprouts, Asian stir fry mix, and lima beans. Some tomatoes in the fresh vegetable section were almost gone. I bought some, and some canned tomatoes. It was a rat race, with everyone in each others' way (more than usual) and the cashier lines were long. I overheard one cashier saying some lady spent over $500 in one shot.

I was sweating profusely towards the end of my shopping, a trip I did alone. I wondered if others thought I had a fever, but it was just anxiety sweating. I then went to the liquor store to pick up some beer and wine for hubby. Then I went to CVS, where I did find 2 packages of napkins, and did a transfer of most of our medications.

At the stores, I wore plastic gloves. Other than store staff, I was the only one I saw doing that. It was a hassle, but why not be safe? I'm now home resting a bit. I need to do some cleaning. Luckily, hubby helped haul a lot of the purchases into the house and unload them while I was preparing lunch.

I mentioned the other day that nine people in my husband's department got laid off. We found out that one is a guy that is currently receiving radiation treatments for cancer. Another guy was only three months from qualifying for retirement health insurance benefits. Yes, they laid him off three months before! Kind of like home Trump fired former FBI deputy director Andrew McCabe, 26 hours before he qualified.

Yup, the store was crazy yesterday. We only picked up a few things but it was madness. They took out half the checkout counters and put in self checkouts so the lines were longer than usual thanks to that.

Had to laugh. The noon news announced that the orange blob is going to be on tv this afternoon to CALM the panicked nation! Him calm things? bet the stock market takes a dive again. What would calm things is if he announced his resignation.

Oh my, yes, that definitely would. If only there was finally some mercy on us all! I told my husband that if I could bring George W. Bush out of retirement to take over, I would give George 10 hugs and 50 kisses. And no, I was never a George W. Bush fan, and even though he did a lousy job with the Hurricane Katrina crisis, he still did better than the current sucker likely will with COVID 19. Theirs is not my political party affiliation.

Yes!

Bad anxiety. I got angry and flipped my neighbors off because they kept honking their horns and there's almost no way they could have seen me unless they're fourth dimensional but I'm scared they're going to come for me now.

If they come for you, cough loudly then sneeze loudly in their direction. That should get them to back off!