Bipolar check-in #44

Hi MarcusAurelius. I'm sorry they are making things difficult and frustrating when you really need a break. Maybe this is a useless suggestion from me, but would you getting some kind of doctor's note to back you up be helpful? Maybe that would help prevent any possible future "no show" allegations crap. When I would be out of work due to my illness it was never a LOA, but short-term or long-term disability. I always benefited from a doctor's note. That, alone, seemed to hold a lot of weight.

Taking the extra Seroquel this morning turned out to be an excellent move for me. I think I'll keep taking the morning dose for at least a few days. Pdoc said to take it at 1 pm, but given the stress of the task I had to do this morning at 9:30 am, it was best taking it 8 am.

When we got to my father's assisted living, we found him not there. Some friend picked him up and took him to their usual cafe hangout in their town (my original childhood hometown). Our whole goal this morning was to get our dad to call the medical place to arrange a psychiatrist and therapist appointment. Dad had been rejecting the idea, but as I wrote yesterday, I pressured him to do it. The place wouldn't schedule it without our dad's approval. We ended up having to go all the way to that cafe to pick him up and return him to the assisted living to achieve the goal. We achieved it! We have an appointment for him on March 26, four days before his planned return home. He will go. I will make sure of it. I had to emphasize that it is a good thing and can be pleasant. It's not like getting teeth pulled.

On my way home I went to the pharmacy in the downtown of my current town. I was thinking of picking up lunch at Pannera, but instead bought bibimbap from a Korean joint. I'm glad I did. It was a real treat. I have enough left for dinner. Plus a full portion for hubby.

That's great that things are going well with your dad!

I just had bi bim bap last week! I had beef. I also put some of the hot sauce they had in a ketchup squeeze bottle. That made it taste better.

Thanks for the great idea about the hot sauce, Moose! Maybe I'll sprinkle a little Louisiana hot sauce on mine. Mine didn't really come with a sauce, but the garlic free one I got for hubby (a pick your own toppings) had many sauce choices. I picked one for him that resembled a creamy chipotle type. He's allergic to garlic. I got him Korean BBQ chicken as the protein. My protein is a spicy pork that is a little saucy.

For some reason, I have really grown to like things spicy lately.

This is what my meal looked like before I dove into it.

Did you put rice with yours? Mine came with a bowl of rice and I just dumped it all in with the rest and stirred it up and ate it with chopsticks! Bi bim bop is the bomb!

It doesn't show in the picture I posted, but there is a large amount of rice under the goodies visible on top. On top is the spicy pork mixture with scallions, a red kimchee, marinaded cucumber slices, bean sprouts, shredded marinaded radish, some kind of spicy kale, and the sunny-side up egg. I really do think some Louisiana hot sauce would be the icing on the cake.

Hubby's meal didn't come with an egg, but I'm going to fry one for the top. Otherwise, he'd be jealous.

Family is triggering. I can’t keep my head straight. Too much stress to deal with.

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I’m so pissed off! This whole debacle makes me just so fed up. So I will try to make this long story as short as possible. I went into work yesterday with the intention of most likely quitting. They (HR—the only one in the department, mind you) offered me a leave of absence to get some time off and work with my therapist and see if it helps, and then look at options for scheduling my shifts so they’d be better for me. I was happy with this and I felt relieved. I felt things were going to work out. I only requested one week. I was told I could extend it as needed. I only had to mark “personal” for reason and no one has to know anything more. She DIRECTLY FROM THE ADMINISTRATIVE SIDE put in my request and told me “It says pending, but it will get approved because it’s from me, don’t worry.” I worked directly with HR. It was sent right in front of me. I was told it would be approved and that was that.

Well, I get a phone call today saying “I know you’re on a LOA but since you didn’t call in yesterday it’s counted as a “no call no show” (two of those gets you fired). You have to call in until it’s approved.” I asked if there was someone I could talk to about this because I was NOT informed of that. I was on hold for 15 minutes for them to tell me “We’ve put a ticket in for you talk to someone, hopefully they’ll get to you soon.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HR IS IN THE STUPID BUIDLING. I am thoroughly pissed. Here I am trying to save my source of income and destress and then of course they have to screw me over yet again. I cannot get ahold of HR (I had to physically go down there yesterday and beg to see her). I’m literally nauseous over this crap. I’ve called BOTH numbers for HR (A work mobile, and a in house phone) and left a voicemail. You may be thinking “So some wires got crossed – it’ll resolve itself. Just relax.”, It took me 8 weeks to get my pay straightened out. 8 WEEKS! I care too damn much about this stupid job. I shouldn’t even let it phase me. It’s not a career move, or even in my field. It’s not even a job I’d really would want to move up in. I guess I don’t really know why I’m so upset. I’m halfway tempted to just walk in there and talk to the site manager about my frustration. But, for what? Nothing will be done and it'll just be adding to the crap pile already building as it is.

I have no real outlet for my anger so I’m trying it out here, haha. Sorry for the rant.

Checking in. I’m doing well. No apparent blips from the week I was out of Lithium. A little bit of the opposite.

Spring break is almost here so I’m looking forward to seeing M. We’re planning on visiting Biltmore. I’m a little wary of the Coronavirus but still plan on going while taking precautions.

Our neighbor across the street makes the best fried rice and egg rolls. She came over with a huge, hot batch of both this afternoon. Delicious. It’s hard to eat just one. I ended up sticking to my weight loss goals in the end.

Today I’m missing people who are no longer active on this site.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Taking the extra Seroquel this morning turned out to be an excellent move for me. I think I'll keep taking the morning dose for at least a few days. Pdoc said to take it at 1 pm, but given the stress of the task I had to do this morning at 9:30 am, it was best taking it 8 am.


When we got to my father's assisted living, we found him not there. Some friend picked him up and took him to their usual cafe hangout in their town (my original childhood hometown). Our whole goal this morning was to get our dad to call the medical place to arrange a psychiatrist and therapist appointment. Dad had been rejecting the idea, but as I wrote yesterday, I pressured him to do it. The place wouldn't schedule it without our dad's approval. We ended up having to go all the way to that cafe to pick him up and return him to the assisted living to achieve the goal. We achieved it! We have an appointment for him on March 26, four days before his planned return home. He will go. I will make sure of it. I had to emphasize that it is a good thing and can be pleasant. It's not like getting teeth pulled.


On my way home I went to the pharmacy in the downtown of my current town. I was thinking of picking up lunch at Pannera, but instead bought bibimbap from a Korean joint. I'm glad I did. It was a real treat. I have enough left for dinner. Plus a full portion for hubby.

Doing pretty well. Tapered off Paxil and abilify. So now I take vraylar, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, trileptal and Thorazine. Have fairly good motivation , although I get really tired after my morning meds and fall asleep for like an hour or so but then I’m fine.


Apartment inspections are Monday. Kind of nervous about that. Always get worried about them even though I never have any problems and they usually always go well.


Will probably draw some later, trying to get back in the habit of sketching everyday. And playing my ukulele.


I still miss my cats, it’s like a chunk of my heart is missing without them. My sister has a cat that doesn’t really like her dog so she’s going to have her move in with me. I miss having a furry friend around.


Hope everyone is doing okay

I am still having bouts of dizziness but not as often as the beginning of the week. My heart rate appears to be “normal” for me, which is mildly tachycardic - a little over 100bpm. I am confused as to why the on call dr at my primary would tell me my ekg was abnormal when the hospital said it was fine. This is not the first time I have heard from my primary that it was abnormal, just the first time my reg dr told me the abnormality was consistent and thus nothing to be concerned about. So I don’t know. I can’t get my cardiologist appt moved up. So I guess it’s just a waiting game. My blood pressure is apparently high, according to the school nurse, which again, I don’t understand because when I went in for the sinus infection two weeks ago it was normal. I wonder if all the Sudafed I took drove my bp up? I know you’re not supposed to take it if you already have high bp. But I haven’t had any in a week. I don’t know. I’m not a doctor so I can only speculate. I do already have an appt with my pcp scheduled for Thursday from a couple of months ago so I’ll talk to him then. Hopefully he can guide me.

Checking in. I’m doing well. No apparent blips from the week I was out of Lithium. A little bit of the opposite.


Spring break is almost here so I’m looking forward to seeing M. We’re planning on visiting Biltmore. I’m a little wary of the Coronavirus but still plan on going while taking precautions.


Our neighbor across the street makes the best fried rice and egg rolls. She came over with a huge, hot batch of both this afternoon. Delicious. It’s hard to eat just one. I ended up sticking to my weight loss goals in the end.


Today I’m missing people who are no longer active on this site.


Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

I am still having bouts of dizziness but not as often as the beginning of the week. My heart rate appears to be “normal” for me, which is mildly tachycardic - a little over 100bpm. I am confused as to why the on call dr at my primary would tell me my ekg was abnormal when the hospital said it was fine. This is not the first time I have heard from my primary that it was abnormal, just the first time my reg dr told me the abnormality was consistent and thus nothing to be concerned about. So I don’t know. I can’t get my cardiologist appt moved up. So I guess it’s just a waiting game. My blood pressure is apparently high, according to the school nurse, which again, I don’t understand because when I went in for the sinus infection two weeks ago it was normal. I wonder if all the Sudafed I took drove my bp up? I know you’re not supposed to take it if you already have high bp. But I haven’t had any in a week. I don’t know. I’m not a doctor so I can only speculate. I do already have an appt with my pcp scheduled for Thursday from a couple of months ago so I’ll talk to him then. Hopefully he can guide me.

I’m glad your feeling better I hate that you lost your fur baby. No sign back at your old place?

It’s been a busy week, lots of things I had to get done most were fairly easy , more just annoying than anything.

I have to get my meds filled but other than that my husband and I plan to stay home, this virus will just get worse and the flu is already horrible in our town anyway according to our Dr office..

Since Steve and I are both compromised with underlying medical problems his copd my asthma and on a biologic which can cause big problems fighting any infection.

Germ free hugs to all

It’s been a busy week, lots of things I had to get done most were fairly easy , more just annoying than anything.

I have to get my meds filled but other than that my husband and I plan to stay home, this virus will just get worse and the flu is already horrible in our town anyway according to our Dr office..

Since Steve and I are both compromised with underlying medical problems his copd my asthma and on a biologic which can cause big problems fighting any infection.

Germ free hugs to all