Bipolar check-in #44

I ate "too much" food and now my stomach feels like someone is grabbing it with a lot of force and twisting it as much as they can. It physically hurts a lot and I feel nauseous. I don't know why, either, since I only ate as much as a five year old does.

I think this is withdrawal from rexulti. I can barely eat anything without feeling sick like this. What bothers me more is the stomach twisting feeling, as opposed to the nausea (although the nausea is annoying too). I wish I would just throw it up and get it over with already! I don't want to deal with this nausea and pain all night long!

Maybe I will call the pharmacist to see what I can do. She is a nice lady who always helps me out.

I want to curl up into a ball and hide under my blankets.

That sounds like part of what I've had to do in the bipolar longitudinal study I'm in. The three hours should fly by!

Then why not do it? Maybe it will help you to feeling a little better. Calling the pharmacist sounds like a good idea!

Bluebicycle, the pharmacist sounds like a great idea. I was actually thinking to mention that. Hope they can help!

That's encouraging, it seemed like a lot and I was a bit nervous.

They kept it going at a clip, so there wasn't much down time between tasks. Just enough to tell me what we were doing next.

I’m so glad your feeling better and back home

It’s amazing one hospital had no hope but another has gotten her back on her feet and enjoying life.

Gentle hugs my friend

Do you have a prn to take? What coping skills are you trying ? Often when I’m just overwhelmed with anxiety I have to get up and physically moved. Hope you feel better soon

You have been really struggling lately. Do you think you might need a Med tweak or even a change?? Maybe call your Pdoc and T for support.

Hope you start feeling better soon. Ohhh I love ham I’m so many ways..

Will you take your seroquel as he recommended tomorrow ?

I’m glad things are in the works to get to the bottom of your situation

I hope your stomach feels better soon

No PRN. I used to be on benzos (klonopin, xanax, valium) but I had a strong tolerance to them.

My main coping skill is mindfulness, deep breathing, and walking. Couldn't walk last night because it was raining though.

Thanks, Christina I do like ham, too. I had some for dinner, and it did taste good. I just ate it with mustard. I had a quick Stoeffer's spinach souffle with it, and some tomato slices.

I will take the Seroquel as recommended tomorrow. I have a very stressful morning ahead. I'm meeting my sister at my dad's assisted living. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't agree to go because I'm not altogether well (and getting severely irritable) but my sister needs my support. We're going to get my dad to talk to the place where he'll hopefully get psych care. They require that he talk to them. My sister is not as....um, persuasive as me, when it comes to my dad. She easily takes no for an answer. I don't.

Good luck tomorrow BirdDancer. It is very loving and brave of you to assist while you're not feeling your best. I hope it goes smoothly and results in the best possible outcome for your dad.

I hope tomorrow is a calmer day for you

Oh I love ham ! And a bone for soup ?? Heaven.. my husband isn’t a fan of ham so I’ll usually just buy a center cut and package it in 2-3 portions for me , I’ll make Steve shrimp or something.

I know your not doing so hot right now good for you putting that aside to try and get your Dad into a program.

I’ve always admired your tenacity at pushing to get things taken care of. Not everyone will push for things

Family is triggering. I can’t keep my head straight. Too much stress to deal with.

Angry and miserable. I tried eating a tiny bit of food this morning, but now my stomach hates me. I shouldn't have eaten knowing how my stomach reacted to food last night. Now I feel nauseous, and my stomach is causing sharp physical pain. It's bad because I have a therapy appointment this morning and now I'm going in with a pissed off stomach.

I really, really don't want to go back on Rexulti, especially since it causes akathisia. I just want this pain and nausea to end. It sucks because I can barely eat a thing without my stomach reacting negatively toward it.

Hey Blue. It is good to hear from you. I am sorry you are in so much pain. I remember you having this same problem before when you stopped eating for an extended period. It will pass, but you have to get over the hump.

Do you have any broth or clear fluids you can start with? I'd begin there the same way you do after a stomach illness. Then maybe progress to fluids and crackers and then maybe onto things like bread, applesauce, rice, etc. If you're out of those supplies maybe you can pick some up while you're out today.

I am wondering if the akathisia is actually even gone after coming off the Rexulti. The agitation you have experienced is one way it can present and maybe the Cogentin calmed the physical symptoms only? At any rate, I would just be completely honest about the entire timeline of symptoms since the akathisia started including the meds your pdoc added and you dropping Rexulti so quickly as well as the behavior changes of the racing thoughts, inability to concentrate, loss of appetite and extreme rage.

I know you may not have the racing thoughts and inability to concentrate at the moment, but they were present maybe two weeks ago and I feel that the whole range of symptoms you experienced is relevant in any med change discussions. Perhaps writing out a timeline would help? I know you sometimes feel they dismiss you when you speak.

Good luck today. I truly hope you find some relief soon.

Great post! ^^^

HI,

I am sorry life is so challenging right now.
I forget, do you live with family or can you get some space away from them?

Are you able to share with friends?

How can we help?

3563869

I’m so pissed off! This whole debacle makes me just so fed up. So I will try to make this long story as short as possible. I went into work yesterday with the intention of most likely quitting. They (HR—the only one in the department, mind you) offered me a leave of absence to get some time off and work with my therapist and see if it helps, and then look at options for scheduling my shifts so they’d be better for me. I was happy with this and I felt relieved. I felt things were going to work out. I only requested one week. I was told I could extend it as needed. I only had to mark “personal” for reason and no one has to know anything more. She DIRECTLY FROM THE ADMINISTRATIVE SIDE put in my request and told me “It says pending, but it will get approved because it’s from me, don’t worry.” I worked directly with HR. It was sent right in front of me. I was told it would be approved and that was that.

Well, I get a phone call today saying “I know you’re on a LOA but since you didn’t call in yesterday it’s counted as a “no call no show” (two of those gets you fired). You have to call in until it’s approved.” I asked if there was someone I could talk to about this because I was NOT informed of that. I was on hold for 15 minutes for them to tell me “We’ve put a ticket in for you talk to someone, hopefully they’ll get to you soon.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME? HR IS IN THE STUPID BUIDLING. I am thoroughly pissed. Here I am trying to save my source of income and destress and then of course they have to screw me over yet again. I cannot get ahold of HR (I had to physically go down there yesterday and beg to see her). I’m literally nauseous over this crap. I’ve called BOTH numbers for HR (A work mobile, and a in house phone) and left a voicemail. You may be thinking “So some wires got crossed – it’ll resolve itself. Just relax.”, It took me 8 weeks to get my pay straightened out. 8 WEEKS! I care too damn much about this stupid job. I shouldn’t even let it phase me. It’s not a career move, or even in my field. It’s not even a job I’d really would want to move up in. I guess I don’t really know why I’m so upset. I’m halfway tempted to just walk in there and talk to the site manager about my frustration. But, for what? Nothing will be done and it'll just be adding to the crap pile already building as it is.

I have no real outlet for my anger so I’m trying it out here, haha. Sorry for the rant.

Hi MarcusAurelius. I'm sorry they are making things difficult and frustrating when you really need a break. Maybe this is a useless suggestion from me, but would you getting some kind of doctor's note to back you up be helpful? Maybe that would help prevent any possible future "no show" allegations crap. When I would be out of work due to my illness it was never a LOA, but short-term or long-term disability. I always benefited from a doctor's note. That, alone, seemed to hold a lot of weight.