Bipolar check-in #44

Growing up I had a mixed breed that looked and acted like a bearded collie. She was ever so smart and could do lots of tricks. But get her around a skunk, she lost all reason. Most of the run in were up north at the cabin so we could wash her in the lake, but who oo lots of tomatoes baths for her.

Hey blue,
I was just reading this and can relate to some, although to a lesser degree.

When I get hypo, all too often, I get very irritable. So severely that I do isolate until I see my pdoc. it's a horrible feeling.

OH goodness you all Dog stories LOLOLOLOL My mutts are ridicuous .Hunting season was the worst ... they go drag legs home or more .. if someone around hear leased out land to hunt on and it was some jacked up trophy hunter... Im fine with hunting , Steve use to take a deer a year it was for eating , Not me Im not a fan..but he shared with his buddies... But to hunt for trophy??? Makes my blood boil...

But our dings bats ??? at least twice every winter they take off and find some nasty dead thing to roll in and come home ... gawd it was horrific.... unfortunatly they are big dogs and its almost impossible to wash them in the tub.. So.. I throw a bunch of blankets in the dryer so they will be hot and take them out to the barn and scrub them down and then bring them in heaps blankets on and blow dryer going and space heater... the last 2 years I have been spared thankfully ...

I'm excited. Today is day 2 of peanuts/peanut butter which I was pretty sure was a problem and I'm doing fine. I'm supposed to stay on it 3 days but am going for 5 to be extra cautious (I've done this all the way through pretty much). All that is left after this is dairy. I'm hoping if PB improved that maybe dairy will and I'll be able to eat cheese and maybe even drink milk. I can see how this diet could possibly reset your system. By the end of next week I'll know.

I'm so impressed with the way you've stayed on that diet! You are really something special rainbow.

Thanks Nammu. I just hope that in the end it helps.

I couldn't have done it without knowing I could come on here and talk about it.

I am so glad things are going so well.. I do not think I could do such a long road ,, Mad Props

Man, I have had a morning. I’ve been all over the emotion spectrum today, and it’s only 11am. We’ll see how today goes. I don’t feel pessimistic about it, I actually feel kind of apathetic about the day, so it’s only a step above, I guess. But hey, it’s only 11am.

No plans for today. I’m probably gonna spend most of it listening to music and trying to relax my mind. I’ve been pretty stressed out lately and I’m not using this time off from work well. I’ve got to start relaxing and working through my issues. A lot of them I can’t do anything about right now – some long-term goals, but I have to find some short-term solutions if I plan to keep my job. After the disasters I’ve had with them I’m surprised I even want to keep the dang thing.

Meds are what they are, “therapy” is what it is. I’m not rebelling against either because I’ve seen the help in both, but I just feel recently they’re both letting me down some. Or maybe it’s just me letting myself down. I guess it’s all how I look at it. If I trust in my psychiatrist’s judgement – my meds should be working, or at least put me at a plateau higher than without it. And if I trust my therapist – I’m moving forward and that’s all the matters to get to where I want to be. So, why don’t I feel like that’s the case?

That’s all I guess. Just life giving me lemons and I forgot to buy sugar and my tap tastes like chlorine. haha

I finally took a much needed shower and washed my hair. My hair was looking pretty crazy. People are not used to me pulling it back, so many comment when I do. [I'm not so sure it's meant to be complimentary, but I know I look quite different, so at least that's it.]

I adjusted one clock. Several more to go.

I seem to find many things in life humorous, but this morning I seem to be laughing at almost everything. Then I laugh at myself laughing.

I washed my hair this morning. I don't always take a shower because the air is still pretty dry around here. I adjusted the clock on the oven- that's the only clock we have that's not on a phone or computer. Good for you for laughing at your laughing! Doesn't that feel great? I need a good laugh. N3 doesn't say the funny things he used to when he was 9, 10, 11... I was always laughing at him back then. One of the things he said at age 8 was "What if you met a vampire and all he wanted was 2 nickels for a dime?" Or, at age 9, "Ella wanted to play hide-and-seek, so I told her to go find her conscience."

Just sitting here reading the boards and listening to a countertenor sing Bach. 1988 recording. Sometime today, I need to go water my mom's plants. Plus, I may have plans with a friend today. Not sure- she hasn't gotten back to me but she did mention something about Sunday on Friday. I washed my hair this morning. Didn't shower. But do I get half credit for washing my hair? Oh- and last night I wrote an entry in my blog about the several bipolar memoirs I have. Its just a rough draft and could use a lot more filling-in. Maybe I should've written a bit after each book while it was still fresh in my mind?

Well, I'm not AS pissed. I'm flip flopping between feeling happy and feeling pissed, but it's better than being pissed 100% of the time, yes?

I'm able to eat more food since I don't get physical stomach pains anymore. (I swear I don't understand why it felt like someone was squeezing my stomach really hard and twisting it like you would if you're trying to wring a wet cloth.) However, my hunger has not exactly returned. I'm just no longer getting those physical pains. Oh, and no more nausea, too.

I just hope that my pissy feelings go away or at least continue to diminish as days go by. I'm not 100% confident they'll go away, though. I wish I could be confident about that.

Maybe I should pop a klonopin to relax myself, even though I hate using benzos...

They are really clever statements! I hope N3 picks up the habit again. Thanks for sharing those memorable moments.

Half credit is plenty, sometimes. I often wash my hair and not shower, or vice versa. Usually the vice versa.

Bluebicycle, I am glad you are feeling a little better. I think that's a promising sign!

It’s 64F here and sunny so I’ve been working in the yard getting my quota of sunshine. It’s done wonders for my mood. I met the new neighbor behind us with the dog that barks all night. Friendly fellow. I just noted that he had a stunning dog and left out the part about the barking.

Going out to a drum circle tomorrow. Looking forward to that.

May put off the trip to Biltmore....Coronavirus and all. I take care of my 85 year old mom and brother with pre existing conditions and would never forgive myself if I brought something like the virus or flu back with me.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

Hope you have had a good chill day.

Your lemons lack of sugar and chlorine water gave me a chuckle lol

Hope tomorrow works out well

Well to hell with what people think!!! Wear it however is easiest for you on any given day

We have 1 clock in our whole house and neither of us have fixed it , I think I’ll just see how long it takes, it’s kind of hard to take down and put back up.

Otherwise we just use our cells lol

Laughing is good, I often crack myself up

Any plans for your week ???

Yes gorgeous day here also !!! I spent time outside with my dogs !

The corona virus ? Yes I would be concerned also, my husband and I have under lying stuff so we must be extra care so I understand concern about your Mom and brother.

Is there maybe some fun activities you and M could do around Home? There’s some mom and daughter crafts... I want to do the one my daughter and I can hold hands dip it into I think like a plaster of some kind and it will give up a mold, we of course will do one for each, maybe we will paint each other’s so even more special.

There is this globe deal that works through WiFi that you each have one and we can tap them to let them know we are thinking of each other. And as you tap will make the other glow, can’t afford them right now, nor her but it’s something we both want ... maybe cool for you and M ?

Any local cool out of the way restaurants you can go check out ?

Movie marathons ?

You will both have time no matter what you do.

Hey y'all,

I'm still around, just haven't really been up to posting... Have been having a rough time. Doing a trauma IOP atm and it's wearing on me. Mood isn't so good but the psychosis is doing okay right now. The Abilify is working well. For the hallucinations at least. Mood stabilization isn't working so well.

Chaos

Things sound like they are looking up! That's great.

N3 went to a Bernie Sanders Rally tonight. I have no idea when he will be home. Its already quarter to nine. He is with his GF and her dad. Since I am always driving the two of them around, you'd think that her dad could be nice and drop N3 off at our place, but he says he doesn't think they will do that! I'm starting to get mad because I drive them EVERYWHERE.

As the weekend comes to a close .... Does anyone have any plans to look forward to this week??? or days off work?

Since we are basically just staying home .. I want to get my Daughters old room painted, it needs it , we have lots of rain coming so ill have to find a day we can open all the windows and run a big fan as neither of should be breathing all kinds of chemicals or paint fumes etc..

Anyone?

I'm not sure yet, @~Christina. Only thing on the books for sure is taking N3 to work and the meeting at DHS about the food stamps. Its supposed to rain here tomorrow but be in the low 60's again. Today was gorgeous!

Cable guy tomorrow and T tomorrow... Well, T as long as the cable guy doesn't take more than 2 hours and is here by the end of the window of the appointment...

Tuesday thru Friday I have IOP but Tuesday I have a procedure to get a couple cysts taken off my scalp. Hopefully I'll be done in time to make it for some of IOP.

Tuesday and Thursday I have class in the evening, Basic Illustration. We art starting a new project this week. Still life in charcoal. I've never used charcoal...

And Friday I have my pdoc and I'll be getting my Abilify shot this appointment. I'll only be able to go to the first hour of IOP that day to be able to get to the pdoc.

And that is what a usual week looks like, lol. It's always something. I also have to call the dentist because one or more of my teeth hurt. I can't tell... So the dentist may get thrown in there too.

Chaos