Beth's Keeping Track Post

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Originally Posted by whatever2013 @BethRags: The least meds possible is best of course. But i met two separate schizophrenic men who were on 20 meds. And they were proud of it! One carried the slip from his pharmacy in his wallet and whipped it out to show me like a medal or something! Like, "Look at me, look how sick i am!" The other one proudly demonstrated how he could swallow his 20 pills effortlessly -- a rather dubious skill. My point being that while multiple meds are a concern, you're no where near these two lulus.

Well, goes to show that it's all in our perspective.

Even with all the meds I have to take, I am grateful for them...it's hard to imagine that only 33 years ago we didn't even have Prozac!

did you try the cogentin?
bizi

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Originally Posted by bizi did you try the cogentin? bizi

No, because I'm back on the Amantadine . Dr. W. wants me to try it again and if I still have the frequent urination, stop taking it. She referred me out to a neurologist to look more closely at my "movement disorder" and try to treat it. I've had a tremor since I was a kid, after having had scarlet fever. Meds just exacerbate the shaking and add on akathesia and dystonia. Loads of fun!

I am so sorry beth.
maybe a neurologist can figure out what is going on?
bizi

I hope so. My expectations are low, but maybe I'll be surprised.

good luck my dear.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Thank you, bizi (((HUG)))

when do you see the neurologist?
keep us up dated.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I don't have an appointment yet. I will definitely keep you posted, though. Thank you so much, bizi

I know you're nervous about your shot and just wanted to tell you that it's been no big deal at all. My arm is a little sore but nothing ibuproferon can't help. I sleep on my left side and slept on that arm which probably added to the soreness. But as soon as I got moving the arm loosened up and hasn't hurt much at all.

I hope yours is as easy as mine. I think most people do fine on the first and then maybe don't feel well after the 2nd. I was really anxious because I have a severe allergy to tetanus shots so any new shot is concerning since nobody can tell me that it will be ok. But no allergies.

3 more weeks and I will be able to see my therapist in person.

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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I know you're nervous about your shot and just wanted to tell you that it's been no big deal at all. My arm is a little sore but nothing ibuproferon can't help. I sleep on my left side and slept on that arm which probably added to the soreness. But as soon as I got moving the arm loosened up and hasn't hurt much at all. I hope yours is as easy as mine. I think most people do fine on the first and then maybe don't feel well after the 2nd. I was really anxious because I have a severe allergy to tetanus shots so any new shot is concerning since nobody can tell me that it will be ok. But no allergies. 3 more weeks and I will be able to see my therapist in person.

Thank you, Rainbow, I much appreciate the reassurance. I'm feeling less anxious and more excited about my vax tomorrow. That it is a step towards finally seeing my mental health team in person is a great motivator. I am so very tired of telehealth.

I have seen my nurse practitioner via face timing. Since she became my mental health provider. It is ok I guess. She lets me keep my klonipin for sleep, so am happy with her.

How are you? Did you have any side effects from the vacc?
bizi

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Originally Posted by bizi I have seen my nurse practitioner via face timing. Since she became my mental health provider. It is ok I guess. She lets me keep my klonipin for sleep, so am happy with her. How are you? Did you have any side effects from the vacc? bizi

I'm well, thanks, bizi. The vax went wonderfully well! Tiny, tiny side effects, absolutely nothing to complain about...just enough to let me know the vaccine worked. Mostly, very sleepy. I kinda wish I was that sleepy every night because, wow, did I sleep well the night of the vaccine!

Dr. W. has allowed me to decrease the Pristiq to 25mg. I've stopped the Amantadine. That crap is poison for me, no more of it.

Feeling off all week. Could be the vaccine. Could be my *new* dipshite neighbor who screams on her phone over the moron music she blasts. The type that gets drunk and screams at the bar, but is lousy in bed, then wonders why guys don't call her back. Could be my 1 poor cat who can't tolerate the new food, while the other 4 are doing really well with it...*sigh*. Could be that I'm so fed up with teletherapy and so want to see my T in person. Could be that I'm still waiting for the effing stimulus check so I can FINALLY get my car running. Complaints, this week.

Dammit, what is wrong?! Is the Wellbutrin not working well? Is it too low of a dose? Is it causing anxiety? Maybe decreasing the Pristiq is the problem. Maybe I shouldn't have changed my AD altogether - and yet, the Wellbutrin keeps me awake and alert; I'm not sleeping all day anymore. Just staying awake and depressed - wow!

Dr. W. instructed me to drop the Pristiq down to 25mg - maybe I should bring it back up to 50 until I see her on Thursday. I'm feeling lost and uncharacteristically clueless. Completely fed up with nightmares!

Are you taking wellbutrin sr or xl?

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Originally Posted by gina_re Are you taking wellbutrin sr or xl?

I had started out on the "regular" Wellbutrin (sr, I believe?), then my pdoc switched me to XL.

I know when I was originally prescribed wellbutrin it was xl and it made me super irritable so he switched me to sr and that helped. So for me I think there's a difference between the two.

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Originally Posted by gina_re I know when I was originally prescribed wellbutrin it was xl and it made me super irritable so he switched me to sr and that helped. So for me I think there's a difference between the two.

Thank you so much for letting me know! I just made a pdoc appt. for tomorrow and I'm wondering exactly that...if the XL isn't the best idea. Strangely, every time I've tried an XL med I don't adapt well to it.

Good luck!! I hope you get to the bottom of this!

I hope you get a med mix that you are happy with.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Dr. W. was in a rare, but notorious, bad mood yesterday. Oh, well. She raised my Welbutrin to 300mg XL. Took it for the first time today and could it work this quickly? I feel sooo much better! Genuinely, physically improved. I was able to take a walk and get a mani/pedi. I changed the battery in my car key thingy, and bought new batteries for my blood pressure monitor. I don't have the feeling that I have a ton of chores to do, but that I never do them well enough. I do not feel irritable and edgy; quite the opposite.

Fingers crossed that the Wellbutrin IS actually working so effectively!

beth are you bipolar 1or2.
You know the signs of hypomania right?
It is unfortunate for us that we have to keep an eye on ourselves.just be careful and enjoy your new found non depression.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

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Originally Posted by bizi beth are you bipolar 1or2. You know the signs of hypomania right? It is unfortunate for us that we have to keep an eye on ourselves.just be careful and enjoy your new found non depression. (((((HUGS))))) bizi

Supposedly BD1. Good observation, bizi. Hypomania for me usually starts out with extreme irritability. I seem pretty balanced, my only concern is that I have some waves of panic now and then...not common for me. Hoping it's not the Wellbutrin; if it is, hopefully only my body adjusting to it.

Okay, if this is a "Wellbutrin normal" I'm in trouble. I feel sooo depressed. I did not take the last tiny bit (25mg) of Pristiq last night, since my goal is (was?) to go off of it. I'm going to get my hair done, usually a real upper for me, and I just feel like crawling into bed. I feel afraid to leave my apartment, afraid to leave my cats. I see my pdoc on Tuesday, which seems right now like a month, not 4 days. It's such a relief not to be experiencing the Pristiq overheating. I feel lost, completely lost. Hopefully my mood will pick up at the salon.

I am working hard to work hard with some therapy tools. I'm really trying to change my old pattern of getting mired in depression when it hits. The techniques are enabling me to breathe well and be a little more in the moment. I'll take it.

And too, there's a stomach-clenching wallop of anxiety mixed in. That we can be in one body and carry moods that swing so dramatically amazes me.
______________________

Hanging out with my stylist helped an inch. I pretty much faked it all the way, though. She half-seriously suggested we go kariokying some time. I could have picked it up, she would have been delighted. Of course, I didn't. The hell of doing something that social would be unbearable. How sad, sad, sad.

3 1/2 hours until I can take the Pristiq I didn't take last night. My concern is ending up on two AD's. Why can't I just accept this thing? I have a mental illness. I need meds. Meds scare me; what are they doing to my body? But maybe they're actually improving me in some ways, not harming me.
Where's bedtime, where's bedtime.