[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by spikes

I want to die. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of life. I simply can't handle it anymore. I want out.

Spikes, think of something that gives your life meaning. When I'm there I try to think of my relationships.

Or distract yourself with something different. An activity to do could be good, or just researching something new on the interwebz.

I know I would be gutted to learn you had died. Please contact someone with professional training who can help.

Originally Posted by spikes

I want to die. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of life. I simply can't handle it anymore. I want out.

I've felt like this A LOT before, but as annoying as this sounds, things do eventually get better. I always remind myself that bipolar is cyclic in nature: mood swings cannot and do not last forever because they cycle. However, I think you've spent more time feeling good and stable than you have spent felt poorly. You can and will get better, and it's important to remember that.

In the mean time, how about going outside for a walk? I know you like walking and stuff like that. Do you like coloring or meditating at all? What about watching a funny movie or TV show? Journaling?

But as Daonnachd said, you should contact a mental health or medical professional if you feel you cannot cope. No one wants to see you get hurt.

Thanks guys. I did some yoga and I'm feeling less angry and hopeless about everything.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by spikes

Thanks guys. I did some yoga and I'm feeling less angry and hopeless about everything.

Hey spikes, I'm happy you're feeling better

[~Christina]

Spikes I'm glad things improved after you did some Yoga.. Thats a wonderful coping skill for you then . Stay Safe

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Spikes I'm glad things improved after you did some Yoga.. Thats a wonderful coping skill for you then . Stay Safe

[Crook32]

Thoughts are very bad today. I couldn’t even talk at therapy. I was worried she would send me to the hospital. I have been thinking about what the last thing I would say to my kids would be. I just want to sleep all the time. I wish I could shut my brain off. I wish my T would respond to emails.

@Crook32 I'm sorry you're still struggling, but keep in mind that this WILL eventually pass. Do you need to be back in the hospital? I know it's not an ideal time to go, but if you need it, you need it. Don't hesitate if you're feeling unsafe. Can you call your T and/or pdoc and explain your struggles to her? Be honest, try not to minimize (or catastrophize), see if you can get more frequent appointments, and follow her advice. I really hope this ends quickly for you, you really don't deserve this.

[Blue_Bird]

Having very negative feelings/thoughts today. I talk to my doctor Thursday, I don’t know what to say though. My paranoia and anxiety have just been rising and rising and I’m starting to have

Possible trigger:

thoughts of ending it to get away from it all

Anyway, I’m just trying to make it through moment to moment for now I guess.

[Crook32]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Having very negative feelings/thoughts today. I talk to my doctor Thursday, I don’t know what to say though. My paranoia and anxiety have just been rising and rising and I’m starting to have

Possible trigger:

thoughts of ending it to get away from it all

Anyway, I’m just trying to make it through moment to moment for now I guess.

I am right there with you. I can’t handle the pain any longer.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Crook32

Thoughts are very bad today. I couldn’t even talk at therapy. I was worried she would send me to the hospital. I have been thinking about what the last thing I would say to my kids would be. I just want to sleep all the time. I wish I could shut my brain off. I wish my T would respond to emails.

Did you hear back today? I wish you could sleep so that you would get a much needed escape from such strong emotions stay safe

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Having very negative feelings/thoughts today. I talk to my doctor Thursday, I don’t know what to say though. My paranoia and anxiety have just been rising and rising and I’m starting to have

Possible trigger:

thoughts of ending it to get away from it all

Anyway, I’m just trying to make it through moment to moment for now I guess.

Hey Were you able to distract yourself today??? Drawing any help?

Stay safe

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Having very negative feelings/thoughts today. I talk to my doctor Thursday, I don’t know what to say though. My paranoia and anxiety have just been rising and rising and I’m starting to have

Possible trigger:

thoughts of ending it to get away from it all

Anyway, I’m just trying to make it through moment to moment for now I guess.

Ah, yeah... Paranoia and anxiety are definitely no fun to deal with.

I hope you're feeling better today, yes? Is there anything we can do to help you feel better?

Originally Posted by Crook32

Thoughts are very bad today. I couldn’t even talk at therapy. I was worried she would send me to the hospital. I have been thinking about what the last thing I would say to my kids would be. I just want to sleep all the time. I wish I could shut my brain off. I wish my T would respond to emails.

Hey Crook. Sorry you're feeling this way.

I'm confused about the email -- are you saying that your therapist doesn't do emails, or that she's not responding to emails in a timely fashion? If it's the latter, have you told her how you need extra help? Maybe she might be more responsive if you tell her you're really struggling.

I do think you should be as honest as possible with your therapist. Like many others have said on this forum, most therapists and pdocs are trying to keep people OUT of the hospital because of COVID-19. But even if you do have to go, I recall that Halliebeth went for 24 days and she did NOT contract COVID-19. So, it's not an automatic infection, if that's what you're worried about.

[Blue_Bird]

Thanks Christina and Bluebicycle, I ended up just going to sleep. Still feeling low. Should force myself to take a shower.

[~Christina]

Im glad you got sleep. It doesnt always fix things but it gives your a physical and mental break

[Fuzzybear]

Blue Bird

I'm glad you got sleep

[wiretwister]

what do you call it when you don.t want to , have no plan to , have no desires to , but are consumed with the thoughts almost continuously . . . . ,

[~Christina]

Tig ... For me I just acknowledge I have feelings, check my selfcare and see If I need to increase or add any coping skills and then honestly I just try to keep going.. Some times are worse than others.. If I am plowing through my safety plan?? then I need to call my Pdoc and T...

[Fuzzybear]

[Fuzzybear]

I feel for the ''quiet ones'' who do not post
Not so much in this part of the forum as I think everyone is allowed a voice....
Who knows what is going on in the minds of those who for reasons like their internal censor do not post anything (or ''reach out to anyone'') when in most ''need'' and despair

[Fuzzybear]

I was just saying to a friend today how my mood and anxiety have been ''better'' lately (at least some of the time) which is quite odd given the ''situation'' in the world. And that I do not feel there is any useful psych help in my forest (which is actually very scary as even if someone ''desperately'' needs it that often is still the case )

Maybe its one of my ''defence mechanisms'' kicking in, I don't know (a therapist said I had too many defences )

But I have these thoughts... I don't want to trigger anyone so I won't say what they are.

[Blue_Bird]

I feel so overwhelmed by life and just everything, I feel like it's all closing in around me

[Fuzzybear]

I think life sucks, it can certainly be overwhelming

[Fuzzybear]

Sometimes I wonder why ... out in the world... it sometimes feels like “hate” is currently winning the battle over love. But enough of that...

Respect and hugs to all