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#226
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I’m feeling a bit better today ![]() Hugs and respect to all ![]() ![]()
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![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#227
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I just want this suffering to end. Why am I suddenly thinking about suicide every damn day. I can't get myself to go to the ER. I don't know why. I can come up with a million reasons not to go and only one to go. If I can't fall asleep maybe I'll call a crisis line or something. I know what to do, just don't want to do it. All I can think about is sharp objects meeting my body, but I guess I'll watch a movie and see if that'll distract me. I'm about to scream.
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![]() Daonnachd, Fuzzybear, Victoria'smom, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#228
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![]() Daonnachd, Fuzzybear, Moose72, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() Daonnachd, Moose72, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#229
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![]() I hope you can find someone irl who is worthy of being trusted ![]()
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#230
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__________________
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![]() ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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#231
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I do not think that the professionals irl want me to be here... since over years they have offered almost zero respect or support.
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![]() downandlonely, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#232
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Spikes, How are you feeling today? Were you able to sleep?
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
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![]() Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
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#233
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![]() ![]() (not about anyone on pc)
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![]() downandlonely, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#234
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Thank you for checking in
![]() I've been crying all day and feeling awful. This morning on my walk I wanted to see if a location was still a trigger, and it most certainly is. I had to take my cat to the vet too and found out he has heart problems. He's pretty old so... Best damn cat I ever had though. I love that little bugger so much. I'm not actively sui right now, but I am passively. Slept a few hours from 4am to 7am. |
![]() downandlonely, Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#235
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![]() I’m sorry you’ve been crying all day and feeling awful. ![]() It’s great that you’ve been for a walk :-) I can relate to one or more locations still being a trigger ![]() I could most certainly give more details (but do not think they are relevant to this discussion... one of them was/is a location someone irl resided at ![]() ![]() I’m sorry about your cat ![]() ![]() I lost the best damn dog I had ever had (in fact the only dog..) at age 11. There was nobody there for me and my pain... but that was to be expected ![]() I think I know what you mean about being “passively sui”.... I hope you feel better soon, whether helped by meds or other. Thanks for checking in ![]() ![]() ![]()
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![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#236
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Awww your poor cat ![]() ![]() I think alot of Bipolar people have a kind on always background of " well I could check myself out" I have these thoughts a lot ! But its just part of my particular " Bipolar soup" I get the feeling and I acknowledge the feeling and then find a distraction.. My T and I dont really worry to much until I start pulling out my safety plan and going down the list.. What kind of safety plan do you have ? could more things be added? the more hurdles you put in place the safer you will be..Just a thought ! Stay safe ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#237
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for my safety plan I have
-will turn over keys, pills, sharp objects to mother -will call someone on a list of supports -will call crisis line if no one else is available -go to ER if life is in immediate danger -take 1mg of Ativan to help calm down -when feeling safer, go for a walk (preferably with my mom but usually alone) -call therapist or nurse |
![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#238
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Does anyone ever feel ashamed or scared about past attempts? I was taken to the medical ER and admitted and after a few days put in psych hospital at the same place. It seems so surreal that I did that now but it was 5 years ago or so now.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() downandlonely, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#239
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![]() Can you build onto that to where your starting off with specific distractions or mindfulness to use when you just start to feel any anxiety or other unwanted feeling Like a specific list of distractions.. Some might sound silly but I have used these in the past and it helps * pick a color.. Any color you like and go around your room and count how many you can find, then move into the rest of your home, Walk outside still focus on one color... * another big one for me is polishing my nails , fingers and toes.. My T laughs because my nail polish is almost always what mood state I am in.. If I am sad, they are some shade of blue, When I get angry they are a deep red color. If I wear Black he knows I am in a terrible head space.... When I have been mixed I have had different color nail polish on each finger and toe... But the process of picking the color has me focused on something specific. * Yoga works for alot of people, but I prefer when feeling unsafe and angry I do cardio, Push for that" burn" is another focus on something specific. I could go on and on . but when your mind is scattered and going south you need to find just one thing to focus on. a color, a word, a sound etc At what stage of being unsafe do you take an Ativan??
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
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![]() Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote
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#240
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![]() I take an Ativan either when I get really agitated and feel myself ready to punch the walls and throw things or when I'm so upset I'm considering the hospital. |
![]() Fuzzybear, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#241
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Here thinking it may take less effort then continuing to breath. I'm still in bed so I'm safe. H is not answering my text. I know I'm going to cry while swallowing the proper medication but I'd rather cry in my own home then in a psych ward.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
![]() downandlonely, Fuzzybear, Merlin, ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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#242
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Things are bad in my head. I wish I were dead.
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![]() Anonymous45023, downandlonely, Fuzzybear, Merlin, Moose72, ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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#243
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Hoping everyone stays safe despite the bad thoughts..
Hoping they ease soon.. Hugs and respect to all ![]()
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![]() Daonnachd, yellow_fleurs, ~Christina
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![]() Daonnachd, yellow_fleurs, ~Christina
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#244
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Taking your meds how ever distressing it can be, but it is better than IP ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#245
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Im sorry , I get that feeling sometimes, truly sucks.... Just focus on Friday and getting ECT that has always helped you. Stay safe
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__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Daonnachd, Wild Coyote
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![]() Daonnachd, Wild Coyote
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#246
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We're not okay.
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![]() Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
![]() downandlonely, Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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#247
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Im sorry your struggling ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#248
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We're trying... Nothing's working.
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![]() Diagnoses: PTSD with Dissociative Symptoms, Borderline Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Fibromyalgia and Chronic Pain |
![]() downandlonely, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote, ~Christina
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#249
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Just keep trying everything you can think of, maybe a warm shower or bath , music, a movie you enjoy. Call a warm line talk or text or a hotline if you need..
Stay safe ![]()
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Wild Coyote
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![]() childofchaos831, Wild Coyote
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#250
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Quote:
Thank you for what your doing here. I believe it is consequential to know your triggers are and take part in hobbies that will help get your mind off those triggers. That's the only thing that saved me. |
![]() ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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