a post...

A post about bipolar and being ''over sensitive''

That is me, I suppose

I do not know how to change that, or even if I want to. It does not make me ''a bad person''....

I meant to go to bed over an hour ago. I feel like a **** up.

I would appreciate any hugs which might help a bit...

Bipolar makes us very aware of how we feel and how things and people make us feel. It's a good thing!
Hugs

I'm still deleting old messages in my inbox. I do not like doing this since there are a lot of insights in messages from friends here, insights I have not found from professionals in my forest. They just don't seem to get or understand us in my forest. I know it isn't only me who feels this way, in fact I only know one person who has felt satisfied with the ''help'' offered. Of course it's possible that there are more who are happy with being prescribed meds and little else being offered apart from rudimentary CBT Sorry about the rant/whine. I got triggered by something unexpectedly when I was about to get ready for bed. So now I can't sleep. It's 6.30 am

Thanks SorryShaped

I was wondering how many people have found CBT helpful? I think it can be helpful if the provider is skilled and there is a good fit with the provider. (?)

I rely on CBT all the time--I love it.

Love and hugs, Fuzzy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Thanks bpcyclist

CBT would be helpful if it was longer I got 10 sessions with a student psychologist Who was lovely just felt I could of got longer then it was see ya and you can do it yourself when in fact I feel I can't

From an ''armchair psychologist'' with no formal qualifications.... more helpful than what any provider in my forest irl has ever said... (still deleting old messages )

''Some observers might be unable to notice or comprehend the wildly complex relationship matrix that exists between you and Papa Bear, a matrix that supports his ''achievement''. If an observer does not notice something, does that something not exist?

''Success'' ''failure'' ''achievement'' -- people often use those and other words freely and vaguely. Defining them... That's an overwhelming task -- an overwhelming series of tasks

What does it mean to be a ''failure''?

What is ''real'' life? If your post saves a life and that person never replies - or hasn't even registered on a forum and is reading only, is your achievement less real?

The waters in this thread run deep Fuzzy. I greatly appreciate the way you question what so many others simply accept because it is what they are told.

CBT helped me to realize some of my thought patterns, but it did nothing to address the root causes that created those patterns. They stem from someplace deep and permanently shifting the way I think about those experiences requires a holistic shift.

For me, I needed to better understand the hows and whys first. I needed to see the patterns and how they played out spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. Simply shifting my thoughts felt lacking as it ignored several of the core components that allowed the thought patterns to persist and return for so long. CBT helped to change my emotions in the moment, but it was like I was lying to myself to a degree because I knew the core issue remained. To some extent that made me feel worse quite honestly.

I do not intend this to sound negative, but CBT taught me how to run. It taught me how to create separation from my pain. It taught me how to cope. Those skills can offer tremendous relief in a time of trauma or desperation. CBT can be a lifesaver when you have nothing else and you just have to free yourself from the prison of your mind for a moment. It helps me to stop myself from spiraling out of control and that is priceless. However, it was a stop gap that provided only temporary relief in most cases. My episode was percipitated by trauma I had previously run from to such a degree that I hid it from my own consciousness, and CBT felt like a different style of hiding. It wasn't enough for me.

Now that I'm in a more stable place, I'm teaching myself how to heal. That process has included what some might consider success and some may label as failure. I have bypassed traditional thinking on a number of levels and designed my own system that is continuously evolving. CBT is one tool of many and I'm applying the concepts in ways that work for me and ad value to my experience. I realize the transformation I seek will be a lifelong effort. It feels more genuine than what I was doing before. It certainly feels like 'real life'.

I think a lot of us here are sensitive in various ways. There's nothing bad about it. Perhaps we don't all exhibit the sensitivity the same, though. One may react by hiding, while another may roar to the world. Either way, I think it can often be a risk factor for bipolar episodes.

I am a huge fan of CBT. It is my favorite form of therapy because aspects of it have addressed my issues the best and it fits me best. Everyone must find what works for them. I know there is no one size fits all, because we're all different. And that's OK.

Not only is it OK, it is the only thing that makes sense. Trying to force individuals with wildly unique circumstances down the same path will never work. You are spot on. Everyone has to find what works for them and go with it and trust in it.

MANY bear hugs for Fuzzy:

Thanks everyone

I was just thinking... I don’t feel much like fuzzy today.

You bring up very valid thoughts and feelings Fuzzy that really are part of our struggles with Bipolar

At times I am very sensitive, maybe overly so? But those of us with Bipolar have struggles with our moods and perception of how we are seen by other people. We often question our worth and if we are a burden to others.

You are not a Failure... You have helped so many and Im sure your support and love given to others is seen by people who read PC and do never sign up for an account. Let alone everyone here

Thanks ~Christina

This afternoon I was feeling a lot less like me... Interesting.

Sorry to hear that . That doesn’t sound that good . I hope you feel better soon

I’m feeling a bit better than I was earlier on today.. (most of the day was grrrrr)

I am so sorry you've been disappointed. Your feelings aren't out of proportion to your disappointment. I am disappointed, too, my friend.
The things that others do are not a reflection of you and do not reflect your worthiness. You've been openly sharing and offering some truly wonderful threads to the community.
I am grateful to you. I love you! I am here for you.

Thank you Wild Coyote

I agree with this.

I also think everyone makes mistakes. It's not only people with bipolar who sometimes make mistakes (obviously)

I also think being sensitive is mostly a good thing. Most of the time I am sensitive to other peoples feelings. I try to be anyway.

Also I am trying to work on me, and sometimes its not easy.

When I was younger (a cub) .... for a few reasons.. I did not express my feelings. It was not safe to do so

I was wondering if anyone else has CPTSD as well as bipolar and does not/cannot take meds. I am mostly ''doing ok'' but sometimes I am not doing ok

The usual advice would be to contact someone irl I guess. There are a few people I could contact. Most of them have not been helpful to me, at all

Thank you to everyone here for the wonderful support you give. I appreciate people in this forum.


I was also wondering if anyone is familiar with the concept of the four f's - in CPTSD.

Has anyone read Pete Walker's book?

I hope this isn't off topic for this forum. I think others have CPTSD also (?)

fight
flight
freeze
fawn

I think I have reacted to triggers with all four of those at times. I guess all of us are a work in progress. I know I am..

I am grateful that each day is an opportunity to be an improved version of me. I count it as a success that I am not abusive like my parents were. They were very much not in touch with their feelings and projected a lot of negativity onto me which did not belong to me I try not to do that to people. Maybe I do sometimes though (?) I know that Papa bear does not find me to be ''difficult'' except when I am maybe hypo, he does not like talking much and although for a female I do not talk a lot, he still finds it tiring so I have to muzzle myself a lot.... this has been the case for a long time (not related to the recent... situation which is obviously affecting everyone )

He has actually been a bit more talkative, lately, sometimes... so I guess that is a silver lining. Maybe the fact that I am working on my communication skills (I have more tools now to do so....) is helping. I can spot the signs more easily when he is starting to get overwhelmed... so I go into another room if necessary. In fact this happens a lot. He tends to ''shut down'' when in ... this is going in a direction I do not want it to go in.

ETA the therapists I have seen irl have not been helpful. I have mentioned this before I think we were not a good fit. Also they were both very judgmental, one of them excessively so As I am sensitive, this did not help me, at all. They also did not discuss any misunderstandings that we had had in a previous session... they simply said that I was ''taking things out of context'' -- maybe I was, but since there was no discussion I did not find that helpful. I think there was simply a denial of the very negative, blaming things they had said. If I was talking to a therapist now who said any of those things I would respond very differently... I would terminate the therapy if they continued with the blaming negative statements and were not open to discussion with me...

love to all

I realise now partly why none of the family of origin were able (or willing) to comprehend my words at all. They were simply dialed into a different wavelength. (amongst other reasons....)

An aunt told me how their family (her, her husband and their three children) were all ''afraid'' of me because I was ''so quiet''...

(I do not recall any of them taking the time to try to talk to me or get to know me, in fact I remember all of them shunning me when I did talk

They were not kind people. Even as adults the ''children'' were exceptionally cruel. I have no contact with any of them.



At least I do not have that ''problem'' now

Papa bear tells me I talk far too much...

(((((( Fuzzybear ))))))