Bipolar check-in #46

Hi BirdDancer,

You and your siblings have been doing quite well with all of the demands and stress. Many families cannot get along with one another at all.

After you'd posted this, I'd had a dream of you sitting beside my bed, telling me more about your concerns with the issues of the LTC coverage.

I am very sorry your dad's policy excludes anyone with a history of alcohol use/abuse. I have never seen alcohol use, including alcoholism, used as a reason for terminating coverage. I have seen "injuries resulting from alcoholism" listed as an exclusion; yet, I am not sure of what that means exactly. That said, I have no idea of the legal exclusions allowed in your state.

You may already know the following info. If so, please please forgive me.

If you/your siblings/your dad wonder if this type of an exclusion legally terminates coverage, you can contact the State Insurance and Banking Commissioner.

In your state, there is an insurance ombudsman available to assist individuals/families with understanding policies, understanding the state laws/regulations governing the policies, determining if a policy is in compliance with state regulations, assisting with the filing of inquiries and/or the filing of complaints.

The Office of the Insurance Ombudsman

Telephone: 1-800-446-7467
FAX: 609-292-2431
E-mail: ombudsman@dobi.nj.gov

The basic guide for LTC policies in your state, is quite interesting and can be found here:

Ombudsman's Office - What You Should Know About Long-Term Care

I hope something here is somehow helpful in some way.

I have always had excellent outcomes whenever I have involved an insurance ombudsman in inquiries/disputes/complaints.

I hope all works out for the best!
Love and Prayers ~

Thank you so much, Wild Coyote, for all of this helpful information. I will share this with my sister. So you know, we do plan to hire a lawyer to help with a number of matters regarding my father. I will be sure we bring up this topic to the lawyer, as well, and see if he can help us with it or if we should pursue it on our own.

I believe it was the LTC insurance's assumption that our Dad's injuries were as a result of alcohol. Even some of the doctors at the hospitals he was in were saying this, but honestly I am not so sure this is the case. Hopefully the neurologist and psychiatrist my father will go to in a couple of weeks will have proper insight into this.

I can't be sure if the alcohol affected him cognitively or if his cognitive and psychiatric state were the culprits. My husband and I even believe his heavy drinking was not so much the cause of everything, but a symptom of life-long psychiatric issues and perhaps early stages of some neurological issue(s). You know...Which came first? The chicken or the egg? To my knowledge, my father's drinking issues did not even start until he was in his early 60s. The worst of it didn't even start until he was already in his 70s. I find that abnormal when it comes to addiction. That is something I wish to bring up in the letter I write. So often when there is addiction, it is portrayed as if it's been a lifelong problem.

I’m very excited. I am beginning to read again! I haven’t been able to read or watch TV for weeks. Sure, I’m just reading reddit but I haven’t been able to read at all. I’m still not able to read for too long but still, even a little bit is good.

I’m starting to feel normal again. It’s an amazing feeling. I haven’t had that in SO long.

I did not know this, but I apparently am getting a large inheritance from my nana. I didn’t realize she had as much money as she did. I also thought it was going to be distributed among all family family members, but apparently it’s just the grandchildren. It’s enough that I can pay off my credit card debt and pay the rest of my car off. I don’t have that much credit card debt so that’s good but I have some from my cat’s surgery. I’m very grateful for this. I honestly thought she wouldn’t leave me anything because I didn’t visit her that much. I tried more toward the end of her life when I had my son so she could get to know her great grand child. I am very grateful she loved me enough to include me.

That's great you're starting to feel normal again!

If you're looking at reddit and wanting to see positive things without having a lot of text to read, I recommend r/aww, r/GetMotivated, and r/AnimalsBeingDerps. You can also checkout r/NotTheOnion if you feel like reading a bit more and laughing at the stupidity of things. e.g., "Pole dancing and hand sanitizer: Wyoming strip club reopens with 'masks on, clothes off' party" and "High Court to decide if police can enter your home and steal from you." Then there is of course r/UpliftingNews.

Anyways, that's very sweet of your grandma to give you some inheritance money.

I had my COVID-19 test yesterday. Hopefully in another couple days I will know the answer. It is either the novel coronavirus, or the flu.

Hi BirdDancer,

I've had incredibly great outcomes with any insurance matter (health, auto, home) when I had brought disputes with them to the attention of the Banking and Insurance Commissioner/Ombudsmen. I have done so in 3 different states and for different types of insurance. In every case, the insurer was remiss and they had to step up and pay up. (Just one case was one in which my insurer had to pay a $53,000.00 hospital bill. They also had to pay my deductibles and my co-pays for my trouble.)

If consumers feel comfortable doing so, they can represent themselves in the the process. The ombudsman is an advocate. Depending on the intensity of the process and what's at stake, some may want to defer to additional legal advice/representation.

I understand how many doctors do tend to blame everything on a person's "problem list" or every illness is resulting from alcohol. I went through this with one of my brothers. It was horrible. He was critically ill in a university hospital. I was his health Power of Attorney/advocate. His primary care doctor had blamed absolutely everything upon his alcoholism. I kept debating the PC . He was wrong, very wrong! (My brother passed away because his PC doctor failed to recognize something more serious was taking place and never ordered the appropriate scans/tests. It was serious enough that the PC was banned from practicing at that hospital.)

A close friend's mother had started showing signs of dementia and within 2 years, her mom needed more care than she could provide. Her mom had a LTC policy. She had been admitted to a nursing home, It was a nightmare! The company tried to find all kinds of reasons as to why the didn't have to pay a cent. With the help of an attorney, the insurance company had started payment of her medical bills. The mother was then severely abused in the nursing home. She was transferred to a different nursing home. There were abuse issues there, too.

My friend then took her mom back home with her and hired help at home. (My friend owns/manages a very busy business and could not care for her mom 24/7.) The LTC insurer would not pay on the home care benefits outlined in her mom's policy. Another legal inquiry caused the insurer to pay up. I saw in the guide book ( a link in the info I'd posted here) that many LTC policies include some care at home. I've mentioned this story incase your dad has some home care benefits. Just wanted to say that if the benefits are outlined in his policy and the insurer fails to pay, someone should be able to force them to honor the provisions in the policy and in any policy riders.

It can help a great deal to know there are people who will investigate and will force the difficult insurers to fully honor the policies they have sold to our elderly. Banking and Insurance Commissioners Offices/Staff are there to police the insurance companies and the banks.

Insurance Commissioners generally frighten insurance companies simply by contacting them and notifying them of a pending investigation. Insurers usually then do honor their policies. An Insurance Commissioner can remove any insurance company from legally operating in the state if an insurer fails to honor the coverage promised to the policy holder(s).

I hope things go well for you and for your loved ones.
Love and Prayers ~

So, my bike that I was planning on giving my mom is... too big for her. The minimum rider height for that frame is higher than she is, which means the saddle will be too high and her legs won't be long enough to reach the pedals. So, needless to say, it's not going to work out. I decided to just buy her a new bike, but she said to stop buying things, so she is going to pay me for it. Guess I now have two bikes for myself, and my original bike will now be dedicated to bad weather (e.g., rain) riding. I just have to make space for it now in my apartment, as the bike should be done around the 28th.

c'est la vie...

Anyway, mood is ok. Didn't get to go out riding this morning because I had stuff due for an 8:30am meeting. I was up until like 11pm doing work and then woke up at 4am to finish. I have a very stressful week and it sucks.

Wild Coyote, you are so kind to be sharing all of your related experiences with me. I have copied both of the posts you wrote into a MS Word document and will share them with my husband and sister. [I confess that I easily become overwhelmed.] I hope that's OK.

OMG!! That must hurt SO much!! I'm so sorry that happened and I hope it feels better as soon as humanly possible.

I'm sorry you're still feeling poorly physically, but glad to read about your daughter. I'm so happy for you! I had a similar experience (in reverse) with my Dad a number of years ago (we'd been disconnected for decades thanks to the effects of my mother's unrelenting parental alienation tactics). So this is particularly heartwarming. (Oh man, I'm reading up writing this(!)) So happy for you!!!!!

I got a call from the drs office today. They want me to get a covid19 test before my procedure. But my choices of where are either too far or im not sure where it is. Guess id better find out. They are calling again about it. Meanwhile my mom called just to tell me that I should cancel my procedure just because the bleeding has stopped. I disagree. It was too much blood for a minor injury but who knows! That's why i need the scope. I guess my mom just doesnt want to drive me there. (I need a driver to and from because of anesthesia.) Her attitude makes me mad. Its like she's criticising me for not cancelling.

So before I get into details I want to say this is NOT a political thing AT ALL ...

I really enjoy Facebook, I can spend hours and hours just scrolling and scrolling. If I see anything political or anything that might annoy me I zoom right past..

Well I belong to our local towns news page and I love it as it shows any activities going on farmers market, sales ads for Mom and pop stores, Keeps track of sports at our school, Have a spotlight on a person each week.. So lots of positives.

Well last night Someone posted about COVID and how she was shocked that when she was out virtually no one is wearing masks while in stores, My Gov is garbage and he hasn't even said " if at all possible please wear a mask while shopping" Well our number of cases is climbing.. One woman talked about how she wishes there could be some tracing to just help people be more aware.. Many others were saying same thing ,Just wanting everyone to do there part in trying to cut down on people getting infected..

Everyone knows that people need to get back to work But it should be done carefully. Of course someone comes along , Guy looks to be 25-30 and hes all " screw masks ! I am not going to live in fear , No one can MAKE me wear one.. Let the strong survive , herd immunity blah blah blah..

People were trying to reason with him, Talking about people shedding this virus for weeks and not even know it, or all the asymptomatic people who never get a sniffle but can infection 2-3 and they infect 4-5 and on and on.. Hes blasting off about how the media has influenced and causing fear for nothing. Yes we know that on any topic the media can twist and turn things... Many gave him links to sites that show true numbers. Of course he just got even more nasty. Everyone gave up and finally said they hope he doesnt infect a loved one..

My reply to him and anyone like him.... Maybe the numbers are off , but regardless we have young healthy people losing there lives along with old healthy people and those that have other health problems. The way masks even work is I wear my mask to protect others, If they wear one they are protecting me.. Of course its not 100% but its something. I said my husband and I are both high risk , my husband more so as I sit and see him on oxygen fighting off a non covid infection, but even if he were to be in the best health possible for him as a person with COPD can be.. He is still high risk.. So I guess my life and my husbands are disposable... Culling the herd, Heard immunity... Why cant people just wear a mask while out shopping for another month and see if Covid is truly decreasing... Why cant human beings just be kind to other human beings and not just think about there self... Is wearing a mask such a gigantic inconvience? It is really ripping away your rights to be kind and careful to others to maybe help save a life?

It just really makes me very sad.. I dont want to hear the flu kills X amount every year and people arent forced to do anything.. This isnt the " flu" I have seen the best in people as we fight this plague but I am also seeing the worst, of course. Good/Bad Right/wrong Caring/careless

Maybe Covid is population control like I have thought for a long time, Rid the world of people like my husband and I , we are on disability and medically we cost money, We die thats alot of money that can be saved.

Sorry maybe I should not even post this.... But I am just sad that so many people dont give a rats azzzzz about anyone but themselves..

Sorry, Moose. I deal with the same thing all the darn time. I just try to sleep whenever I am able and try not to freak about it anymore. Beyond my control.

Dang dryers! Gotta love superglue, though. It is a derm's best friend...

Good for you that you are feeling well enough to want to watch stuff--that is awesome!! So very nice of your nana to look after youlike that. What a nice surprise. Sometimes, life throws us these nice little gems out of nowhere. So happy you had one of these...

Good for you, Christina, for sharing this. I, myself, must disengage from pretty much all political matters, because I become very angry and despondent.

That said, I do believe my country has changed significantly in the last, say, 30 years or so. And quite plainly, the last 3 have been remarkable, by any measure, historically speaking. The current climate of extreme, totally, utterly inflexible, hate-filled polarization is getting much, much worse. Personally, you all may laugh at this, but it would not surprise me in the least if we have another civil war here--not in the least. As a matter of fact, I expect it.

Your remark about you and your husband costing money, or whatever, made me quite sad. Not that my opinion matters, but I wish people like us, us, would neither contemplate nor speak such words. You are massively valuable, both of you. You have offered me tremendous insight and support more times than I can count. And I am an excellent counter. The planet is a much, much better place because you are on it.

Respiratory thing a bit better today. Not psychotic. Not manic. Pretty in the middle, which is great and quite rare over the last 9 months or so. This illness is so weird. Still sluggish upstairs, but, what are you gonna do...

Been reading and watching a ton of thrillers, as I re-write mine. That is going well. Happy with the plot. There sure are a lot of good thriller/suspense movies out there. I have watched maybe 20 recently, just to see how other people tell their stories. I'll tell you what I think one of the best over the last 20 or so years is, just having seen a ton of these recently, and that is Double Jeopardy.Ashley Judd is just phenomenal in that movie. So good. Such a well crafted and told story. If you have not seen it and like the genre, check it out. Really wish she did work more.

Hugs and love to all!!!!!!!!!!!!

Totally unrelated to my depression (or maybe not so much):

The five year anniversary of my husband’s death is next week. For the first year I was absolutely devastated. Then that slowly morphed into anger, then absolute hate. I truly thought I’d never be able to love again, and I was a stone hearted ***** because of him. The hate slowly abated in 2017, after I met my ex boyfriend. I realized I could feel happy feelings with another man. And though I never loved this boyfriend, it gave me hope that I could love again.

Went through a few creeps, then I found the love is been looking for and indeed never thought I’d feel again with RS. We are so happy together. I have slowly realized how toxic my husband was. And though that tore me up for awhile, I’ve also come to recognize the good parts of our relationship, of which there were many. Yeah, maybe he had an anger problem and was emotionally manipulative, but he really did love me and my son. And I loved him too. I’ve just been angry with him for a very long time for using drugs which ultimately killed him and lying to me for years.

My point in saying all this is that I actually felt a pang of missing him a couple of weeks ago. I haven’t felt that for him in years. I’ve been too angry. So I think, I THINK that after five long years, I am finally starting to forgive him. It’s still going to be a long time before I can fully forgive him for the drug use and the lying but for once, I actually think I can get there. And that’s a good feeling to have.

I am sorry for the deviation from the normal point of this thread....I just felt like I had to tell someone and you guys know me best.

Thanks for sharing that. You, your husband and so many many many others are important to this world. Everyone is. No one should be considered disposable. People being disposable sounds like a fascist idea, and it's sad that fascist type thoughts live on today, as well as racist, sexist, and many other bad type "ists". And they are given a louder voice than they had had only years ago.

Education and proper influence is crucial. One need not have a high degree to have it, either. Hopefully that young man will, in 10 years, look back at his youthful attitudes and understand his ignorance. I bet a lot of us here realize how we have grown, in a positive way, over the years. I said some stupid things when I was a teenager and even young adult. Luckily, I learned some good lessons as I aged, though some from pretty rough circumstances. Not everyone learns. I still have yet more to learn.

We did end up IP. We got out this afternoon. Thanks y'all for commenting on our previous posts...

Welcome back @childofchaos831 !

Thanks @Moose72!

I don't know if I took my evening meds or not. I almost think I didn't, but my husband said he thought I had. I can't tell by my pill box because the whole thing is empty. I think it might have been empty anyway. I won't take all of my evening meds in case I did. Taking double would be slightly dangerous. I did take some Seroquel XR in case I didn't, but only 200 mg. If I did take the meds, 200 mg more would be no problem. It's already 1 am and I am not tired at all, so I likely didn't take them. I'm nervous thinking about tomorrow, which is already today. Maybe I will take a propranolol. A little extra wouldn't hurt. None might.

I'm sweating. I don't want to drive there. I'm afraid. Maybe I will put it off a day or two. I just emailed my sister that.

I obviously did forget. I just took the remainder.

Hi everyone! just been catching up on some of your posts. You are all in my thoughts.

A week ago things got really weird. Sweating, shaking, severe exhaustion, paranoia, agitation, and sensory distortions. No mood issues though. At first I thought it was due to my new pain killer. Seroquel calmed the paranoia but the sweating continued. It clicked to me the next day that I had been reducing my benzo dose. Too fast it seems. I increased the dose and the symptoms disappeared within a day. Since then I have taken the pain killer twice with no issues. Today I saw my T and he agrees benzo withdraws. I was only down to 2.25 mg of Clonazepam having come down from 3 mg over a month. However, I was on 8 mg a day at the beginning of the year, and much of last year, and mid-range doses for the last ten years due to PTSD. Now I am settled back at 3 mg. My T suggested I stay on this dose for a while as the Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue affects my nervous system and while it is in a bad flare-up messing with a CNS drug like a benzo is a bad idea. I am so frustrated. I just want to be off it but in reality it is going to take years, and that is if all goes well. Damn meds.

Tomorrow I have a face to face appointment with my pdoc as everyone in my state has gone back to work as of this week. Thankfully our government got control of Covid and now we have no cases in our state, and only a handful in Australia. My odd neighbour thinks covid is a conspiracy and doesn't actually exist. I have heard more reasonable conspiracy theories but to say it doesn't exist is beyond me considering the mountains of evidence. It is also insulting to those who have suffered and died because of it. He can happily think that only because he lives in a state that was barely hit by it. He even hugged me by surprise to show his lack of fear of it. This pissed me off. I would suffer intensely if I were infected. He was rambling and bouncing a lot (and at least over 50 years old) so I suspect he has mental health issues too. I tried to reason with him but it was pointless. Another one of the 11 people who live in my small apartment complex was taken by police to a psychiatric ward last week. As he lives above me and I can hear his footsteps I had noticed he never seemed to sleep and was very active. This all happened in two days. No one in the complex knows I have Bipolar, just PTSD, but it seems I am not the only one. I was glad that people here don't seem judgemental of mental illness. I still won't tell them I have bipolar. Not until the police come to get me.

Glad to see you back.

I hope you feel better now.