[FluffyDinosaur]

Somehow it always feels unreal to me. I can never really "be there." It's not that I don't take control of my life, I do, and I usually succeed at the goals I set, but it doesn't make me feel alive. No matter what I do everything just feels like a dream, far away, hidden behind a fog. It's hard to feel like anything really matters or like I'm even real for that matter.

I suppose I ought to put this in the dissociation forum but that place seems to be mostly about DID and in any case I'm not sure whether this is related to my bipolar or not. I have a diagnosis of "depersonalization/derealization disorder" FWIW, but I have no clue what to do with that information or how to overcome the symptoms. It's frustrating because people around me seem like they can feel life so intensely and I have no idea how to do that.

Not really. I explained to a pdoc in the hospital that it feels like there is always a sheild of sorts between me and the world preventing me from experiencing it like I used to when I was a kid. I'm told it's a result of trauma. I wish I had some advice. I do find it's a bit better when I'm doing things that give me an adrenaline rush like skiing or rock climbing.

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by spikes

Not really. I explained to a pdoc in the hospital that it feels like there is always a sheild of sorts between me and the world preventing me from experiencing it like I used to when I was a kid. I'm told it's a result of trauma. I wish I had some advice. I do find it's a bit better when I'm doing things that give me an adrenaline rush like skiing or rock climbing.

Thank you, a shield is another good way to explain it. I think the last time I didn't feel like this was when I was a kid as well. My Pdoc has also mentioned it's likely trauma-related but they haven't told me much on what to do about it. It makes me feel like my life was stolen from me because I can never live up to my full potential and I can never be the "real me."

[Soupe du jour]

Yes, I have felt like life seemed real. I've been fairly well grounded for a while now, but I told my spouse that I've felt especially grounded these past couple weeks.

It definitely does sound like you're experiencing dissociative symptoms. I have been there in the past. It can certainly pass. Have you tried grounding techniques?

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Yes, I have felt like life seemed real. I've been fairly well grounded for a while now, but I told my spouse that I've felt especially grounded these past couple weeks.

It definitely does sound like you're experiencing dissociative symptoms. I have been there in the past. It can certainly pass. Have you tried grounding techniques?

I try that sometimes when it's particularly bad, when it starts to feel like things are distorted or warped, but there's this baseline of derealization that's been there for years and years that I just can't seem to get rid of. Which grounding techniques work best for you?

In some situations, I think these types of experiences can be *indirectly* related to bipolar. For example, when I start experiencing heavy delusions and paranoia, I typically start dissociating as symptoms heighten. My therapist says that this type of "reactionary" dissociation is my brain's way of trying to cope with the effects/stress of psychosis.

In other situations, I think these types of experiences have nothing to do with bipolar. You may have heightened anxiety -- or, as Spikes said, PTSD triggers -- that causes you to become overwhelmed, which is another trigger for dissociation.

Regardless of what causes the dissociation, your brain is trying to cope with something. I think it is important for you to identify that "something" if you want to mitigate your risk of dissociating. Basically, triggers.

One grounding technique you can try is acknowledging the fact that the world doesn't seem real to you, but at the same time, acknowledge that you may be symptomatic because you know that these feelings correlate with how you typically feel when symptomatic. I'm not saying you should "question everything," because questioning everything just leads to unnecessary stress and possibly massive confusion, but if there is one particular thing that's really bugging you, I think it is a good idea to question it and analyze it. For every reason you think it is real, play devil's advocate and identify a reason it might not be real.

This technique works well for psychosis, too, because I think both dissociation and psychosis are similar on a few levels. For example, when I am experiencing psychosis, there is nothing I can do to stop psychosis in the moment I am experiencing it, but I can do fact checking to help me cope with the most bothersome symptoms, or I can find distractions. But the more I try to "make it go away," the more stressed out I get because there isn't a way for me to make it go away. I have to wait until meds kick in. So I think even with dissociation, you shouldn't focus on making it go away, but instead accept it for what it is and focus on distracting from the most problematic symptoms or challenging those problematic symptoms. Hope that makes sense.

[Fuzzybear]

I would say no. It does not feel real

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I would say no. It does not feel real

Sorry to hear that, I know how much it sucks.

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

In some situations, I think these types of experiences can be *indirectly* related to bipolar. For example, when I start experiencing heavy delusions and paranoia, I typically start dissociating as symptoms heighten. My therapist says that this type of "reactionary" dissociation is my brain's way of trying to cope with the effects/stress of psychosis.

In other situations, I think these types of experiences have nothing to do with bipolar. You may have heightened anxiety -- or, as Spikes said, PTSD triggers -- that causes you to become overwhelmed, which is another trigger for dissociation.

Thank you, and I think you're right. In my case I think I experience both kinds. I have this chronic derealization, but when I am in a bad mood episode it definitely worsens. I noticed that very clearly when I was in crisis last winter.

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Regardless of what causes the dissociation, your brain is trying to cope with something. I think it is important for you to identify that "something" if you want to mitigate your risk of dissociating. Basically, triggers.

That's the tough part for me. I am trying to work on this in therapy. I do have a general idea of what caused the trauma, but since it was a long-term situation I can't really put my finger on one or two events that put everything in motion. I'm also having a tough time talking about it because it feels like I shouldn't make such a big deal of it.

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

One grounding technique you can try is acknowledging the fact that the world doesn't seem real to you, but at the same time, acknowledge that you may be symptomatic because you know that these feelings correlate with how you typically feel when symptomatic. I'm not saying you should "question everything," because questioning everything just leads to unnecessary stress and possibly massive confusion, but if there is one particular thing that's really bugging you, I think it is a good idea to question it and analyze it. For every reason you think it is real, play devil's advocate and identify a reason it might not be real.

This technique works well for psychosis, too, because I think both dissociation and psychosis are similar on a few levels. For example, when I am experiencing psychosis, there is nothing I can do to stop psychosis in the moment I am experiencing it, but I can do fact checking to help me cope with the most bothersome symptoms, or I can find distractions. But the more I try to "make it go away," the more stressed out I get because there isn't a way for me to make it go away. I have to wait until meds kick in. So I think even with dissociation, you shouldn't focus on making it go away, but instead accept it for what it is and focus on distracting from the most problematic symptoms or challenging those problematic symptoms. Hope that makes sense.

Thank you, I will try that! The hard part will be to really get to the cause and to really notice why it's happening, but it's nice to know that there's hope this will help if I manage to pinpoint those things more precisely.

[bpcyclist]

I experience three different things that result in me kind of being a in a different reality and as a different person. One is flipping bipolar states from down to up, say. My personality completely changes. Different guy. Another is dissociation, which for me is more a way of trying to hide from something painful. The third is actual derealization, which in me is always a sign of psychosis. Dissociation and derealization can look similar from the outside, but the neurobiology is completely different. No comparison. That's it for me.

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

I experience three different things that result in me kind of being a in a different reality and as a different person. One is flipping bipolar states from down to up, say. My personality completely changes. Different guy. Another is dissociation, which for me is more a way of trying to hide from something painful. The third is actual derealization, which in me is always a sign of psychosis. Dissociation and derealization can look similar from the outside, but the neurobiology is completely different. No comparison. That's it for me.

This is very interesting, I never really thought about that distinction. How do you tell the difference between dissociation and derealization from the inside?

[signs]

For sure my life is real.

During my depressive episode (more than 3 yrs) į found love. We're together 1.5 yrs. Living together. I beat bipolar. Depression isnt so debilitating anymore. Į was self educating about treatment options. Tried many benzos. None of Ssri, Snri dont work. Neither depression, Neither escalating towards hypomania. Just that effexor and cymbalta was a disaster, my BP was so high. BP meds didnt help. Į quit immediately after few days į got back to normal bp.

Į feel more alive with Lamictal, and 50mg seroquel. And trying new AD - tianeptine. First week, but i feel benefit for short time. Even that, its good enough.

I start having my personality again. Į can express anger, but i have problems with crying, if į do so, it explodes.

My anxiety is high enough. Especially after hospital, with GI problems, 1. 5 diarrhea and didnt get treatment.

Į found valerian root helps my anxiety. IT calms me down, but with 1 tablespoon of it, į feel little high and problema concentrating. But cmon, į feel more relaxed (sedated) and dont feel heartbeats and physical anxiety.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by FluffyDinosaur

I try that sometimes when it's particularly bad, when it starts to feel like things are distorted or warped, but there's this baseline of derealization that's been there for years and years that I just can't seem to get rid of. Which grounding techniques work best for you?

Mindfulness practice and learning what my triggers were were the main keys to my staying grounded. Some examples:

Mental grounding

* Take a special note of your surroundings and how much time has gone by since you did "this or that".
* Visualize a calming place that you’ve been to in the past, especially during a period you felt grounded.
* Reorient yourself to the current place and time.
* Pick your music/background noises right (to avoid more harmful feelings/daydreaming).
* Prepare for a stressful event in advance using deliberate visualization and planning how you WANT to react in various situations.

Physical grounding

* Use your 5 senses to keep yourself in the moment. What do I currently "smell", "taste", etc.
* Be aware of your breathing and the feel of the air coming in and going out.
* Drink a sip of water, or other drink and be aware of your swallowing and the feeling of it.

I also like to ask questions like "So what is this day about? What am I trying to (or want to) accomplish today?" With this in mind, it can even be good to keep a "To Do" list and cross things off as you do them or create a general outline of what you plan to do and accomplish.

Writing was/is also a very grounding task for me. Not just at places like this, but on my blog.

[*Beth*]

When I was 8 years old I began having episodes of derealization. During the episodes the back of my head felt strange and my environment appeared to be unreal, as though I was looking at the world as a movie, through a glass window.

Since the episodes weren't frequent I didn't think much about them, although they did scare me. I didn't know how to tell my mom, and it probably wouldn't have mattered if I had, because she would have gotten weird on me.

I don't recall having the episodes when I was a teen, but at that time I was very happy (especially away from home) and not terribly stressed.

By my mid-20's I was married and mom to a preschooler and a baby. My sleep was irregular. I was working very hard, and was terribly tired. Back then, taking naps was not something I usually did, but one afternoon my baby son was napping and I fell asleep. When I awoke the environment had become unreal. I was 26 years old.

The sensation wouldn't go away. I felt like I was watching life through a big glass window. I told my pdoc and he prescribed Klonopin.

To my immense relief the K-pin made things look normal again. For 2 years I was relieved of that odd and depressing sensation.

I suppose I built up a tolerance to the K-pin, because the "thing" returned. From that time it has never gone away. That was 30 years ago.

Pdocs would call it "depersonalization", but that wasn't the correct term. I felt myself as real; it was the environment that seemed to have become unreal. No pdoc ever seemed to truly understand. So I went to the library and dug through psychiatric texts (long before internet days) and I finally found the word: derealization. An awful sensation, but at least I had a name for it!

I have been told that the experience could be a symptom of pyschosis, but none of the many, many AP's I've been on touches the derealization. In fact, no meds help with it - and I suspect they even contribute to it, as a side effect.

Acupuncture sure helped my body in some ways; it did not alter the DR.

My therapist tends to point at childhood trauma as the reason for the derealization I experience. It definitely becomes worse when I'm stressed, sometimes when I'm anxious, and it first showed up during a time of my childhood when truly serious trauma began.

The only tool that helps me somewhat is healthy breathing techniques. Nothing completely removes the unreal sensation. But, calming myself with good breathing brings the intensity of the DR down enough so I don't feel completely crazy and even physically vulnerable because I'm so checked out.

I firmly believe that derealization
has a neurological basis. I'm quite sure it's connected to trauma and to extreme anxiety, and maybe to bipolar disorder in some way. There's no doubt that for me, DR is somehow attached to sleep.

I would love to participate in a study on derealization, but I've never found one. Every pdoc I've seen has tried to prescribe a host of medications for it, with no success. I've had CT scans; they're clean. I've been referred to 2 neurologists over the years; neither one was helpful in any way. I had an EEG that was normal. It is very likely that brain science simply is not advanced enough to discern the fine details of what happens when a brain dissociates.

For some reason the derealization has been worse for me lately. I really don't know why, except that my sleep has been sketchy (I firmly believe that DR is somehow connected to sleep), and my therapist has been out sick for weeks. So that connection is broken.

I try to make the best of having DR...pretend I'm Alice in Wonderland and allow my imagination to drift and design...but honestly, I'm very sad about the disorder. It causes a severe impairment in my life. It makes me forget big pieces of life, memories I might like to have. DR presents a grinding Existential dilemma that feels like having a red thread wound too tightly around my finger. ("Am I real?" "Is the world real?" "What is reality? Etc., ad infinitum.)

This is probably the longest post I've ever written online! "Life: real or not" is a subject that deeply resonates with me.

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by signs

For sure my life is real.

During my depressive episode (more than 3 yrs) į found love. We're together 1.5 yrs. Living together. I beat bipolar. Depression isnt so debilitating anymore. Į was self educating about treatment options. Tried many benzos. None of Ssri, Snri dont work. Neither depression, Neither escalating towards hypomania. Just that effexor and cymbalta was a disaster, my BP was so high. BP meds didnt help. Į quit immediately after few days į got back to normal bp.

Į feel more alive with Lamictal, and 50mg seroquel. And trying new AD - tianeptine. First week, but i feel benefit for short time. Even that, its good enough.

I start having my personality again. Į can express anger, but i have problems with crying, if į do so, it explodes.

My anxiety is high enough. Especially after hospital, with GI problems, 1. 5 diarrhea and didnt get treatment.

Į found valerian root helps my anxiety. IT calms me down, but with 1 tablespoon of it, į feel little high and problema concentrating. But cmon, į feel more relaxed (sedated) and dont feel heartbeats and physical anxiety.

I'm glad to hear things are better for you! I'm definitely hoping Lamictal will help with my depression and mixed episodes, but I didn't have any expectations about its effects on dissociation. I'm curious whether there will be any such effects in my case.

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Mindfulness practice and learning what my triggers were were the main keys to my staying grounded. Some examples:

Mental grounding

* Take a special note of your surroundings and how much time has gone by since you did "this or that".
* Visualize a calming place that you’ve been to in the past, especially during a period you felt grounded.
* Reorient yourself to the current place and time.
* Pick your music/background noises right (to avoid more harmful feelings/daydreaming).
* Prepare for a stressful event in advance using deliberate visualization and planning how you WANT to react in various situations.

Physical grounding

* Use your 5 senses to keep yourself in the moment. What do I currently "smell", "taste", etc.
* Be aware of your breathing and the feel of the air coming in and going out.
* Drink a sip of water, or other drink and be aware of your swallowing and the feeling of it.

I also like to ask questions like "So what is this day about? What am I trying to (or want to) accomplish today?" With this in mind, it can even be good to keep a "To Do" list and cross things off as you do them or create a general outline of what you plan to do and accomplish.

Writing was/is also a very grounding task for me. Not just at places like this, but on my blog.

Thanks for the ideas, there's plenty to try there! Planning my day and reflecting on what I'm doing and want to do are definitely useful. I've been unwittingly doing that already. The mindfulness exercises are also useful, although so far I've usually reserved them for the worst moments and not so much for the chronic symptoms.

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by BethRags

When I was 8 years old I began having episodes of derealization. During the episodes the back of my head felt strange and my environment appeared to be unreal, as though I was looking at the world as a movie, through a glass window.

Since the episodes weren't frequent I didn't think much about them, although they did scare me. I didn't know how to tell my mom, and it probably wouldn't have mattered if I had, because she would have gotten weird on me.

I don't recall having the episodes when I was a teen, but at that time I was very happy (especially away from home) and not terribly stressed.

By my mid-20's I was married and mom to a preschooler and a baby. My sleep was irregular. I was working very hard, and was terribly tired. Back then, taking naps was not something I usually did, but one afternoon my baby son was napping and I fell asleep. When I awoke the environment had become unreal. I was 26 years old.

The sensation wouldn't go away. I felt like I was watching life through a big glass window. I told my pdoc and he prescribed Klonopin.

To my immense relief the K-pin made things look normal again. For 2 years I was relieved of that odd and depressing sensation.

I suppose I built up a tolerance to the K-pin, because the "thing" returned. From that time it has never gone away. That was 30 years ago.

Pdocs would call it "depersonalization", but that wasn't the correct term. I felt myself as real; it was the environment that seemed to have become unreal. No pdoc ever seemed to truly understand. So I went to the library and dug through psychiatric texts (long before internet days) and I finally found the word: derealization. An awful sensation, but at least I had a name for it!

I have been told that the experience could be a symptom of pyschosis, but none of the many, many AP's I've been on touches the derealization. In fact, no meds help with it - and I suspect they even contribute to it, as a side effect.

Acupuncture sure helped my body in some ways; it did not alter the DR.

My therapist tends to point at childhood trauma as the reason for the derealization I experience. It definitely becomes worse when I'm stressed, sometimes when I'm anxious, and it first showed up during a time of my childhood when truly serious trauma began.

The only tool that helps me somewhat is healthy breathing techniques. Nothing completely removes the unreal sensation. But, calming myself with good breathing brings the intensity of the DR down enough so I don't feel completely crazy and even physically vulnerable because I'm so checked out.

I firmly believe that derealization
has a neurological basis. I'm quite sure it's connected to trauma and to extreme anxiety, and maybe to bipolar disorder in some way. There's no doubt that for me, DR is somehow attached to sleep.

I would love to participate in a study on derealization, but I've never found one. Every pdoc I've seen has tried to prescribe a host of medications for it, with no success. I've had CT scans; they're clean. I've been referred to 2 neurologists over the years; neither one was helpful in any way. I had an EEG that was normal. It is very likely that brain science simply is not advanced enough to discern the fine details of what happens when a brain dissociates.

For some reason the derealization has been worse for me lately. I really don't know why, except that my sleep has been sketchy (I firmly believe that DR is somehow connected to sleep), and my therapist has been out sick for weeks. So that connection is broken.

I try to make the best of having DR...pretend I'm Alice in Wonderland and allow my imagination to drift and design...but honestly, I'm very sad about the disorder. It causes a severe impairment in my life. It makes me forget big pieces of life, memories I might like to have. DR presents a grinding Existential dilemma that feels like having a red thread wound too tightly around my finger. ("Am I real?" "Is the world real?" "What is reality? Etc., ad infinitum.)

This is probably the longest post I've ever written online! "Life: real or not" is a subject that deeply resonates with me.

Thanks for the thoughtful reply! Very interesting to hear that Klonopin helped with dissociation for you, I wouldn't usually expect that from a benzo. Maybe it's because the dissociation was worsened by anxiety which the Klonopin helped reduce? I haven't noticed a similar effect with Lorazepam (or Xanax for that matter, but Xanax doesn't do much for me except heavily sedate me, I'm not a fan of it).


I've definitely noticed the derealization getting worse with lack of sleep. My therapist and Pdoc also point to childhood issues as the cause, but so far we haven't thought much about how to resolve it. I would like to put some more effort into that. Like you, I haven't noticed any benefit from APs when it comes to derealization, but it's an interesting perspective to consider it as a psychotic symptom.

Sorry to hear it's been worse for you lately, I hope it gets better. It's awful not being able to feel really alive.

[*Beth*]

Klonopin is used for epilepsy, so I wasn't too surprised when it decreased the derealization for me. I say that because I do believe that (regardless of the cause) derealization has a neurobiological base. Of course, Klonopin also reduces anxiety. But the tolerance factor is the problem.

For whatever reason, neither Xanax nor Ativan did anything to ameliorate the DR. If anything, they made it worse.

Interestingly, when I'm manic, although the DR is usually worse, I feel much more "alive."

I don't know. To me, the dissociative disorders are the most complicated and complex of any psych disorders.

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Klonopin is used for epilepsy, so I wasn't too surprised when it decreased the derealization for me. I say that because I do believe that (regardless of the cause) derealization has a neurobiological base. Of course, Klonopin also reduces anxiety. But the tolerance factor is the problem.

For whatever reason, neither Xanax nor Ativan did anything to ameliorate the DR. If anything, they made it worse.

Interestingly, when I'm manic, although the DR is usually worse, I feel much more "alive."

I don't know. To me, the dissociative disorders are the most complicated and complex of any psych disorders.

Yes they are, especially in that I don't really know how to treat them. With bipolar at least you have meds and fairly well-established therapy methods. With dissociation/derealization I'm pretty much in the dark. I'll ask my therapist if she has any ideas but I'm doubtful.


Interesting about the Klonopin, I wonder if that means that Lamictal (being an anti-epileptic) might have a beneficial effect as well.

[*Beth*]

I've never connected with a psychiatrist who knows how to treat dissociative disorders, especially not derealization. I haven't found another med besides Klonopin that makes a dent in derealization, but I have read/heard about people who have lessened or gotten rid of DR with the use of certain meds and/or grounding techniques.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by BethRags

When I was 8 years old I began having episodes of derealization. During the episodes the back of my head felt strange and my environment appeared to be unreal, as though I was looking at the world as a movie, through a glass window.

Since the episodes weren't frequent I didn't think much about them, although they did scare me. I didn't know how to tell my mom, and it probably wouldn't have mattered if I had, because she would have gotten weird on me.

I don't recall having the episodes when I was a teen, but at that time I was very happy (especially away from home) and not terribly stressed.

By my mid-20's I was married and mom to a preschooler and a baby. My sleep was irregular. I was working very hard, and was terribly tired. Back then, taking naps was not something I usually did, but one afternoon my baby son was napping and I fell asleep. When I awoke the environment had become unreal. I was 26 years old.

The sensation wouldn't go away. I felt like I was watching life through a big glass window. I told my pdoc and he prescribed Klonopin.

To my immense relief the K-pin made things look normal again. For 2 years I was relieved of that odd and depressing sensation.

I suppose I built up a tolerance to the K-pin, because the "thing" returned. From that time it has never gone away. That was 30 years ago.

Pdocs would call it "depersonalization", but that wasn't the correct term. I felt myself as real; it was the environment that seemed to have become unreal. No pdoc ever seemed to truly understand. So I went to the library and dug through psychiatric texts (long before internet days) and I finally found the word: derealization. An awful sensation, but at least I had a name for it!

I have been told that the experience could be a symptom of pyschosis, but none of the many, many AP's I've been on touches the derealization. In fact, no meds help with it - and I suspect they even contribute to it, as a side effect.

Acupuncture sure helped my body in some ways; it did not alter the DR.

My therapist tends to point at childhood trauma as the reason for the derealization I experience. It definitely becomes worse when I'm stressed, sometimes when I'm anxious, and it first showed up during a time of my childhood when truly serious trauma began.

The only tool that helps me somewhat is healthy breathing techniques. Nothing completely removes the unreal sensation. But, calming myself with good breathing brings the intensity of the DR down enough so I don't feel completely crazy and even physically vulnerable because I'm so checked out.

I firmly believe that derealization
has a neurological basis. I'm quite sure it's connected to trauma and to extreme anxiety, and maybe to bipolar disorder in some way. There's no doubt that for me, DR is somehow attached to sleep.

I would love to participate in a study on derealization, but I've never found one. Every pdoc I've seen has tried to prescribe a host of medications for it, with no success. I've had CT scans; they're clean. I've been referred to 2 neurologists over the years; neither one was helpful in any way. I had an EEG that was normal. It is very likely that brain science simply is not advanced enough to discern the fine details of what happens when a brain dissociates.

For some reason the derealization has been worse for me lately. I really don't know why, except that my sleep has been sketchy (I firmly believe that DR is somehow connected to sleep), and my therapist has been out sick for weeks. So that connection is broken.

I try to make the best of having DR...pretend I'm Alice in Wonderland and allow my imagination to drift and design...but honestly, I'm very sad about the disorder. It causes a severe impairment in my life. It makes me forget big pieces of life, memories I might like to have. DR presents a grinding Existential dilemma that feels like having a red thread wound too tightly around my finger. ("Am I real?" "Is the world real?" "What is reality? Etc., ad infinitum.)

This is probably the longest post I've ever written online! "Life: real or not" is a subject that deeply resonates with me.

This sounds like my whole life from infancy. I do btw believe bp 1 is a seizure disorder. Reason our EEGs are mostly nml is we never catch it "in the act." Wld need to catch us WHILE cycling, then, there wld be an electrical storm on EEG.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

This sounds like my whole life from infancy. I do btw believe bp 1 is a seizure disorder. Reason our EEGs are mostly nml is we never catch it "in the act." Wld need to catch us WHILE cycling, then, there wld be an electrical storm on EEG.

I agree with the seizure disorder assertion and with your EEG theory. Excellent.

[Bipolarchic14]

Life feels real to me but I lack presence. When in the hospital last summer they gave me some tips. So now I have an exercise where I look around and acknowledge what I see hear and smell. I also have to pay attention to what I feel and taste. I do still have some moments where I wonder if something happening is actually real but that is usually when things are not making sense..

[FluffyDinosaur]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

Life feels real to me but I lack presence. When in the hospital last summer they gave me some tips. So now I have an exercise where I look around and acknowledge what I see hear and smell. I also have to pay attention to what I feel and taste. I do still have some moments where I wonder if something happening is actually real but that is usually when things are not making sense..

Good to hear that exercise is actually recommended by professionals, it was kind of my "improv" solution that I use when it's particularly bad. I do find it hard to keep up that kind of mindfulness in the long term though, so I'm still kind of hoping therapy will help with that.

[*Beth*]

FluffyD, what is your Lamictal dose now? How's it going?