[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by swimmingly

.....
I'm having a really hard time tonight so I'm going to go watch a movie about living with bipolar disorder and see how lousy I can feel.
.......

How are you feeling, swim? How's it going with the decreased Depakote?

I want to thank you! I am so grateful to you for "Touched with Fire". That movie has profound meaning for me in many ways. I found it validating, incredibly validating. As hard as it was, I was right there for every moment. Thank you so much

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

How are you feeling, swim? How's it going with the decreased Depakote?

I want to thank you! I am so grateful to you for "Touched with Fire". That movie has profound meaning for me in many ways. I found it validating, incredibly validating. As hard as it was, I was right there for every moment. Thank you so much

I am watching this right now. It is triggering but it's also very absorbing- I'm sucked right into it. "Can I get some Adderal instead of Seroquel?" "The last thing you need is Adderal."

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I am watching this right now. It is triggering but it's also very absorbing- I'm sucked right into it. "Can I get some Adderal instead of Seroquel?" "The last thing you need is Adderal."

I didn't know you were watching my life.

Oh, man, Adderal was bad for me. Sent me over the top and into the hospital.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

I didn't know you were watching my life.

Oh, man, Adderal was bad for me. Sent me over the top and into the hospital.

Yeah. My pdoc said it would be a bad med for me, too.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm so, so glad things are going well. Steve is better - that is fantastic!!

I'm excited about your painting, Christina! If you would show us a pic of it when it's done, that would be amazing

Thanks

I will certainly post a Picture

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

The person that upset me so much yesterday apologized today. I was so glad. AM so glad. It lightens the load of despair, but the rest is still there. You know when it just feels like virtually everything is weighing you down? I think the covid thing is a major culprit. I was feeling so much more confident and positive before this all came down. Then add in political stress, and that is EXTREMELY high. But it's a little hard knowing where situational meets BP. I haven't had an episode in like 2 years, which is a very long stretch, you know? I'll have to add my prn in the mix I guess. Maybe that will help sort it out. Sigh.

So happy you got a apology !

Right now everyone I know MI or not is stressing over everything everywhere.

I often just have to be an ostrich and shove my head in the sand. I'm sick of people in office on both sides that are acting like freaking 4 year olds that cant have ice cream

I think now would be a great time to use the prn .. Catch this before it gets worse???

Take good care of you, I'm here if you need an ear

[Moose72]

I finished "Touched With Fire". Interesting ending. Is this a true story?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I am watching this right now. It is triggering but it's also very absorbing- I'm sucked right into it. "Can I get some Adderal instead of Seroquel?" "The last thing you need is Adderal."

I know - that was hilarious!

Good question...I'll read about it and find out if it's based on a real story-----------------

Okay, yes, it is. IMDB says "The movie is based on the life of director Paul Dalio". Paul Dalio's bio is interesting.

[Coolbreeze74]

I'm still feeling overwhelmed. I had a 4 hour long panic attack last night. They are so scary and beyond tortuous.

My son felt better the other day. But hes back to saying hes being drugged. He wont tell his pdoc what is going on. I'm completely wore out. I'm going to have to call his pdoc. But his pdoc will need to talk to him. Pointless if he isnt honest.

My eye is infected again. Sigh. I'm so sick of my life...

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

I'm still feeling overwhelmed. I had a 4 hour long panic attack last night. They are so scary and beyond tortuous.

My son felt better the other day. But hes back to saying hes being drugged. He wont tell his pdoc what is going on. I'm completely wore out. I'm going to have to call his pdoc. But his pdoc will need to talk to him. Pointless if he isnt honest.

My eye is infected again. Sigh. I'm so sick of my life...

I hope your panic eases soon, Coolbreeze. Maybe your son's pdoc will get back to you quickly after a call.

[Soupe du jour]

@~Christina, I am glad that Steve is continuing to feel better and working on projects. And hopefully your Seroquel sedation will ease soon. Maybe when cooler days come? Sending positive sedation fighting energy.

@BethRags and @bpcyclist, I will consider a doctor, for sure, if my physical stuff continues. Elevating my right leg did help with the swelling last night, but my toe and neck to elbow are still sore. I'll see what happens. Hopefully today's walking won't bring back more leg swelling. Water will be consumed! Hugs

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I hope your panic eases soon, Coolbreeze. Maybe your son's pdoc will get back to you quickly after a call.

Thanks. The panic attack was last night.

I'm starting to adjust to city-life. Last night was quiet so I slept pretty well. I'm still waking up at 2am while my sister is sleeping in until 9am! Don't worry though, I fall asleep at around 7pm, just used to working on a farm and getting up early. She's supposed to wake up early though to take me to my evaluation. They don't do appointments, you just need to show up early and say "I want an evaluation" and hope there is no one ahead of you. I find this weird and I don't know how it works with so many people. I guess it's not *that* many people. I don't remember if it was like this in Vermont, I was with the same center for five years and I was quite out of it when I first got there.

I think tonight I'm going to stay up late so I can be more so on my sister's time. I'm anxious and restless doing nothing and being alone for 7 hours.

[scatterbrained04]

Stayed in bed most of the weekend. Felt kind of depressed. Feel like I can't do anything right. I did get up Saturday evening and watch a couple of the Back to the Future movies with my son. Yesterday I made it to the store, and ended up going to my bf's house for a few hours. It got me out of bed and out of the house at least.

I was looking forward to having a good catch up day today at work. But once again I have an employee trying to call off work. So sounds like I will have to go fill in. All I want is a week of being full staffed so I can sit at my own desk. Is that too much to ask? Ugh! I have so much work piled up it's ridiculous. Really stressing me out.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by pineperson

I'm starting to adjust to city-life. Last night was quiet so I slept pretty well. I'm still waking up at 2am while my sister is sleeping in until 9am! Don't worry though, I fall asleep at around 7pm, just used to working on a farm and getting up early. She's supposed to wake up early though to take me to my evaluation. They don't do appointments, you just need to show up early and say "I want an evaluation" and hope there is no one ahead of you. I find this weird and I don't know how it works with so many people. I guess it's not *that* many people. I don't remember if it was like this in Vermont, I was with the same center for five years and I was quite out of it when I first got there.

I think tonight I'm going to stay up late so I can be more so on my sister's time. I'm anxious and restless doing nothing and being alone for 7 hours.

Hugs, PP. So, is this like some sort of group home situation? I have lived in many. Sending you love and support. Hope your eval goes well!!

[bpcyclist]

Albert finally let me sleep fot two hours or so. YY! His sleep is all messed up. Dunno. I feel great, yhouhj. Not manic. Not psychotic. Not depressed. Thankful.

[Soupe du jour]

I have a good impression of Brno, CZ. It has all one might want in a city, without many tourists. It has a slightly different look and feel than Prague, for sure. It's nice looking, but with less splendor. It's not nearly as crowded.

My one nephew asked for a nap, so we have to relax a bit before a third apartment viewing. We sort of liked the one we saw this morning, but it was on the forth floor (fifth in the US) with no elevator. Since ceilings are almost always high in CZ, that equals even more steps. My husband wished there was more than one toilet and bathroom, but that's not common, especially in apartments. Our plan is for my husband's best friend to stay with us some weeks of most months. An extra toilet/bathroom would be nice.

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Hugs, PP. So, is this like some sort of group home situation? I have lived in many. Sending you love and support. Hope your eval goes well!!

Thanks for the hugs!!
Nahh, The evaluation is for a mental health center/clinic so I can get back on meds. For the foreseeable future I'm living in my sister's apartment.
Much love!

[wildflowerchild25]

**** man. I’m not in a good mood today at all. It’s almost like depressed but definite anger/ambivalence thrown into the mix. I just want to get into bed and stay there. I couldn’t sleep until 2am last night. I had to take an extra 12.5mg seroquel.

I think my meds are screwed up. It’s my fault. I’ve only been taking 100mg lamictal instead of 300. Because I don’t have enough to last until mid October when my insurance will pay for my next prescription. I’m confused as to how I could have run out if I got a 90 day supply in august. I have to investigate when I get home. Did I put the extra in my cabinet? Did I never pick up the lamictal because I still had some? But then why would my insurance deny the new script until mid October? I really don’t know. I must have extra somewhere, or else the pharmacy ****ed me over and only gave me 30 days. I have no idea. My brain is mush, has been for a very long time.

I left my wallet at home today so I can’t have lunch. I’m hungry. I can’t have anything until 4pm when I get home.

Work sucks today. Usually I have the patience for the nonsense but today I just don’t want to deal with it.

I hope I figure out the med situation. That has to be it, there’s no other triggers.

[Mountaindewed]

I feel much better today mental health wise then I did this weekend. But I went to the store today and I was binded to the point of being in pain and at least the employee called me he which made me so happy. But then for lunch I just ate a big bowl of spaghettios with franks while still wearing the binder and I took it off afterwards because I felt kinda blah and it’s kinda like from the Eminem song that goes “theres vomit on his sweater, spaghetti, moms spaghetti.” But I feel pretty good today besides the fact my chest hurts a bit and I’m kinda coughing now from the binder.

[MuddyBoots]

Lol I just called mye x and told him my dad was a ***** for being afraid of lemon peppers hahahah!! My ex dont know **** ABOUT m e.. he thinks I'm his BEST FRIEND. LOL. noooooo, but in a way yessss. F'n love that guy. But I love everyone

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

**** man. I’m not in a good mood today at all. It’s almost like depressed but definite anger/ambivalence thrown into the mix. I just want to get into bed and stay there. I couldn’t sleep until 2am last night. I had to take an extra 12.5mg seroquel.

I think my meds are screwed up. It’s my fault. I’ve only been taking 100mg lamictal instead of 300. Because I don’t have enough to last until mid October when my insurance will pay for my next prescription. I’m confused as to how I could have run out if I got a 90 day supply in august. I have to investigate when I get home. Did I put the extra in my cabinet? Did I never pick up the lamictal because I still had some? But then why would my insurance deny the new script until mid October? I really don’t know. I must have extra somewhere, or else the pharmacy ****ed me over and only gave me 30 days. I have no idea. My brain is mush, has been for a very long time.

I left my wallet at home today so I can’t have lunch. I’m hungry. I can’t have anything until 4pm when I get home.

Work sucks today. Usually I have the patience for the nonsense but today I just don’t want to deal with it.

I hope I figure out the med situation. That has to be it, there’s no other triggers.

Oh, no. The med situation sounds really frustrating. From what you've described it does sound like there might be some Lamictal hiding somewhere. I hope that's the case.

And no lunch on top of it...I feel so bad for you. I hope there's some way you can get something in your stomach. Having med issues is bad enough without being hungry, too.

[*Beth*]

I have to do laundry today and I'm anxious because I have 2 loads. Carrying the laundry basket is very heavy to carry to the laundry room and I have fear about my achilles hurting. And I tell myself, so what? Worse case I ask my husband to carry the laundry back up here (I live upstairs) when he comes over this evening.

The things I get myself wound up about

Then I do it, survive just fine, and tell myself, as I almost always do, that my anticipatory anxiety wasted hours and was not necessary, at all.

I have spent most of today on the phone to the receptionist at my local doctors surgery

my current GP said to me that he hoped I got kovid19 so I put in a complaint, and today the receptionist called me as she wanted to go through what actualyl happened

it was stressfull, as I hate phone calls, and I don't find out what (if anything) is going to be done until next wednesday afternoon, but. hopefully he will get a talking to. you don't say that to patients

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I know - that was hilarious!

Good question...I'll read about it and find out if it's based on a real story-----------------

Okay, yes, it is. IMDB says "The movie is based on the life of director Paul Dalio". Paul Dalio's bio is interesting.

I'm watching some of the videos from imdb - an interview with two of the people who said something to this effect, too.