[fern46]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Every day I am working so extremely hard, both physically and mentally, because of this move preparation. It is a wonder I'm doing so well, but I fear that in some secret way I'm not. I need a break, for sure, but don't know how to take one. The amount of work is so great that taking a break would seem to hurt more than help.

Today my husband's best friend came to help with hauling stuff again. I was helping, too. But at one point I realized that I smelled just AWFUL! Awful! I hadn't taken a shower for 48 hours and while I usually don't smell bad if I'm not doing heavy work, when I sweat a lot the smell comes. I sometimes wonder if the extra smell from heavy sweating is partially medication-related. Or (or an and/or) stress itself exacerbates it.

I was telling my husband's friend that 90% of the stuff is stuff my husband either had before marriage or bought when married. He buys, buys, buys, and is so nostalgic about things that he keeps, keeps, keeps. He's not a hoarder, but the amount of "things" is extreme, even if normally organized in some way. It's overwhelming! If it was just me, I'd live in a style influenced a bit by Henry David Thoreau. Less is more, to me. Less creates less stress. I came into the marriage with a figurative backpack of stuff. Hubby MUST get rid of even more! If ever I was the last one standing in the relationship, the "stuff" would come down on me like an avalanche.

You are rocking this move Soupe. Truly. I am in awe of how hard you have pushed. I am worried though too that it will add up to too much at some point.

That said, maybe there is a way to build in a small pressure release? Could you carve out 30 minutes a day to sit with a cup of tea or relax on a couch or take a short walk? Just something small, but something just for you. No distractions. No obligations. Just you and your needs being met for a bit each day.

A rejuvenated you is much better than a you who burns out eventually. Let us know if there's any way we can support you specifically during this time of great change. Sending much love your way!

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by fern46

You are rocking this move Soupe. Truly. I am in awe of how hard you have pushed. I am worried though too that it will add up to too much at some point.

That said, maybe there is a way to build in a small pressure release? Could you carve out 30 minutes a day to sit with a cup of tea or relax on a couch or take a short walk? Just something small, but something just for you. No distractions. No obligations. Just you and your needs being met for a bit each day.

A rejuvenated you is much better than a you who burns out eventually. Let us know if there's any way we can support you specifically during this time of great change. Sending much love your way!

Thanks, dear friend I do need some time to myself. With Hubby working from home (or being off of work at home) since March, I feel I've had too little "self" time.

A very good thing is that the painter has finished the master bedroom and master bathroom. That has always been my daytime cozy space. He is working on the kitchen tomorrow. The cabinet painting is already done and they look great, but he still needs to paint the walls there. It's tough not having my kitchen in normal working order. All of the cabinet contents, save pantry stuff, have been in boxes in my living room and dining room. Horrible! Plus, many know that cooking is my main hobby. We've been eating takeout and delivery and store-bought stuff for days now. I want to cook again. It relaxes me and makes me happy. That's my personal realm in the house. Plus, my cooking is even yummier and healthier than the stuff we've been buying.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Idk, just thought friends should be, ya know, friends. If he doesn't want to talk to me he should just say so instead of saying "I'll always be here for you" and not following up on that. I expect people to screw me over, but I don't expect that from the closest person in my life--a person who blatantly said "call me when you're having a rough time and about to do something stupid."
You're right though, he has no obligation to help me, but he should at least not hurt me.

No, I don't mean that he has no obligation to you. I believe that we do have a responsibility to our friends and family members if we are genuine about the relationship and claim to care.

It sucks that he has let you down. My guess is that it's not personal, but that he probably has his own crap going on. Still, I'd feel hurt and kind-of angry if I were you, too.

[*Beth*]

bizi ((((HUGS)))) I'm thinking of you. Keep us posted.

bicyclist, I not only believe that therapy would be a good idea, I believe that it's essential for you

Soupe - it's the meds. Specifially AP's. I've been on many AP's and they cause me to sweat. My NAMI group, the one I facilitated prior to covid- one topic that came up a lot was self-consciousness about meds and sweating. You have to be really careful not to overheat. I'm not by nature someone who sweats easily, but AP's cause that and cause BO. I hate it. I never needed deodorant before AP's came into my life. I drink A LOT of water now.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by fern46

You are rocking this move Soupe. Truly. I am in awe of how hard you have pushed. I am worried though too that it will add up to too much at some point.

That said, maybe there is a way to build in a small pressure release? Could you carve out 30 minutes a day to sit with a cup of tea or relax on a couch or take a short walk? Just something small, but something just for you. No distractions. No obligations. Just you and your needs being met for a bit each day.

A rejuvenated you is much better than a you who burns out eventually. Let us know if there's any way we can support you specifically during this time of great change. Sending much love your way!

This. I think I also shared this?

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by bizi

yes it is a category 2 right now and bound more towards lake charles than us.
Lake charles was devastated from level 4 hurricane Laura just weeks ago. They can not tolerate another bad blow from delta. We have had some mild weather so far. land fall is tonight. by 7 pm it will be dark.
Thanks for your support. I will be posting regularly today and tomorrow.
bizi

Hugs and love!

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by bizi

Why on earth would they want to take you off your meds?
How is your anxiety now on meds?
You know yourself best!
wishing you much strength a head in these trying times.
bizi

Thanks. Idk bc I'm on a lot of meds. My anxiety and panic attacks are awful. I'm having a 3 hour long panic attack almost every day right now.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

bizi, sending positive thoughts hoping that will keep the storm at bay to the greatest degree possible.

bpcyclist, I hope that you will call your psychiatrist and let him know that you dissociated during your appointment. He must know that you have been doing very poorly lately. It is quite evident to me. Having read your posts for quite a while now, I am most worried about you now than I have been in the past.

Sapien, big hugs to you. I hope your friend will reach out to you. I will say that as a person with bipolar disorder, I have noted, many times, that people can sometimes be at a loss for what to say or do to help. Some people are just not equipped or in the know enough how to help. That does, indeed, hurt, but please don't take any offense if/when that happens. It is not you. So often people here are in crisis and write about suicidal thoughts. I have had them, myself, in the past but still often feel powerless to help. My family was deeply affected by a loss as a result of bipolar depression. You'd think I more than anyone could help others, but I still feel powerless to help. I don't know what is right to say, sometimes. I'm afraid that what I say/write will be wrong. But that doesn't mean I don't care when I don't respond. I really do!

Oh. I guess I goofed my post. The dissociation occurred during my appt with the psychiatrist. He said he was very happy to see my emotions? He said they will help me integrate or something.

Yay! I guess?

[Fuzzybear]

Family get togethers SUCK. They cut into me and ignore me.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by fern46

He saw it in person and then did what about it specifically? Isn't therapy not an option for you? Doesn't he know that?

I am with Soupe. Deeply concerned. I feel like you need some sort of a strategy as I see this getting worse unless there's something you can do to turn it around.

he says he is not worried about safety because all the kmowlefge the child refers to is factual, adult me regarding the difficult circumstances of my life. He says it is dissociation for sure but that my identity is mostly the same between the two entirely, he said. I have found a bunch of monthly money we did not know was available. I will use that for this. It shld be enough. Thanks for helping me.

[Fuzzybear]

Why?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I wonder if you might have been sending him mixed messages. Alternatively, maybe he didn't mean it when he said he would always be here for you.

I don't like myself today

Why didn't I keep my MUZZLE on?

[Coolbreeze74]

I just talked to my pdoc. I'm going to be switching from 7.5 mgs of zyprexa to 200-300 mgs of seroquel. I came up with that. Hes use less. So let's hope that it helps....

Edit I guess the 7.5 mgs of zyprexa is equivalent to 500 mgs of seroquel. So I rescheduled another appointment for next Friday. Hes only in on Fridays....hes a ****ing joke....

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

he says he is not worried about safety because all the kmowlefge the child refers to is factual, adult me regarding the difficult circumstances of my life. He says it is dissociation for sure but that my identity is mostly the same between the two entirely, he said. I have found a bunch of monthly money we did not know was available. I will use that for this. It shld be enough. Thanks for helping me.

I asked in another post (but deleted it) how long the appointments he gives are. Sorry if you've said this somewhere else and I missed it. He is a good pdoc, right?

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

I just talked to my pdoc. I'm going to be switching from 7.5 mgs of zyprexa to 200-300 mgs of seroquel. I came up with that. Hes use less. So let's hope that it helps....

Good luck with the switch, I find seroquel to be just as effective as zyprexa with a better side effect profile while having more of a calming feeling so hopefully you'll have a good experience as well. I'm sorry you have to deal with an inadequate pdoc, I know how that's like

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Oh. I guess I goofed my post. The dissociation occurred during my appt with the psychiatrist. He said he was very happy to see my emotions? He said they will help me integrate or something.

Yay! I guess?

This makes a lot of sense to me! He's trying to understand. From where I am, him saying he's happy to see your emotions is a good thing. Maybe, as he said, they will help you integrate. (a therapist .... oh I don't want to get into that..)

hugs and love

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Good luck with the switch, I find seroquel to be just as effective as zyprexa with a better side effect profile while having more of a calming feeling. I'm sorry you have to deal with an inadequate pdoc, I know how that's like

An inadequate pdoc. omg. You said it better than I did. But that's exactly how I feel about the provider I saw. But they say those things about us. Grrrrr

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by Sapien

Good luck with the switch, I find seroquel to be just as effective as zyprexa with a better side effect profile while having more of a calming feeling so hopefully you'll have a good experience as well. I'm sorry you have to deal with an inadequate pdoc, I know how that's like

Thanks but I'm not going to switch bc he has the equivalency wrong. They are just about giving me the least amount of meds as possible....

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

Thanks but I'm not going to switch bc he has the equivalency wrong. They are just about giving me the least amount of meds as possible....

I'd want to most effective med at the lowest effective dose

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

I just talked to my pdoc. I'm going to be switching from 7.5 mgs of zyprexa to 200-300 mgs of seroquel. I came up with that. Hes use less. So let's hope that it helps....

Edit I guess the 7.5 mgs of zyprexa is equivalent to 500 mgs of seroquel. So I rescheduled another appointment for next Friday. Hes only in on Fridays....hes a ****ing joke....

Yay. Baby steps... Hang strong. We all support you!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

This makes a lot of sense to me! He's trying to understand. From where I am, him saying he's happy to see your emotions is a good thing. Maybe, as he said, they will help you integrate. (a therapist .... oh I don't want to get into that..)

hugs and love

Thanks!!!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Family get togethers SUCK. They cut into me and ignore me.

Sorry. My brother hates my guts.

[Coolbreeze74]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Yay. Baby steps... Hang strong. We all support you!

I'm not changing. I'm not going to have insomnia on top of the anxiety and panic attacks....

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Sorry. My brother hates my guts.

My (half) ''brother'' hates me too

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Coolbreeze74

Thanks but I'm not going to switch bc he has the equivalency wrong. They are just about giving me the least amount of meds as possible....

I strongly suggest that you try the Seroquel. Different meds have different ways of reacting, even if the dose appears to be less.

For example, a low dose of Seroquel is sleep-inducing, whereas a larger dose of Seroquel is not, necessarily. He might have a solid idea of what he's prescribing.