[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Miserably understand it, yes. I think it was Christina who said the AP hunger made even her couch look like it might taste good

HAHAHAHHA Yes I indeed say that

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Hi everyone! I am doing okay. Feeling pretty decent again today. Wasn't too productive overall, but I did get in my ballot. I was waiting until my mind cleared up a bit and I had more energy because I didn't want to mess up the ballot (and also didn't feel able to drive). Also caught up with my partner and we watched a show together virtually. I did make dinner tonight which is something I am trying to be better about. I didn't get to do a hike this weekend since my toe was bothering me, but maybe I can get out this week. Also need to put socializing in safe way with a friend on my to-do list this week. Hope everyone has a great week!

Glad your doing well

[Soupe du jour]

I was so hoping that the floor installer guys would be gone by 2 pm, but it's almost 6 pm and they have more to do. Electric saws, hammering, you name it! I've become so irritable that Hubby made me take more Seroquel PRN.

We have been ordering food delivery so extremely often. I'm getting sick of it. And today, the only place we have to eat is upstairs with no adequate table surface and brand new carpeting that we just CAN'T get pizza oil/sauce on. We're going to eat pizza on the bed, set on towels. I'll be smelling pizza on our bed for a couple days. I just washed all of the bedding yesterday, so it would be a bummer to have to wash it yet again so soon.

There are just too many things stressing me out. I don't want to even think about my father, but he's still in bad shape. Even worsening shape. I have no clue when I can even see him with all that's going on. I can't really drive there easily with my foot/ankle. In fact, I have not yet even driven our new car, despite bringing home three or four days ago. I even forget.

You don't know how badly I want to clean up some caulk in two of the bathrooms, and scrub the grout. Sounds strange, huh? But I really wish I could do it, but I'm not because it would equal huge pain. Hubby will likely not do it. One of those "If I don't do it, it won't get done!" things. It's not even something I would have liked to do before because of a past injury. Several years back, during a mania, I decided to run down a steep hill. Multiple injuries, including Prepateller bursitis, injured toe, a black eye, and bruised and scraped arms. Since then, my knees have not be the same, particularly my right one.

Unintentional injuries as a result of bipolar hypomania or mania? Someone has actually written about that in a blog for PC at Unintentional Injury and Bipolar Disorder

[~Christina]

I am like a sloth today.. Everything is taking forever... But really why does it matter ? there is no place I need to be.

I started watching the TV show "House" last night I have the boxed set. Its a huge distraction, Feels like the whole world is on fire... literally and people raging against each other.. It costs nothing to be kind. Anytime I have to go out for groceries or meds etc I try to compliment 5 people. Everyone is stressed beyond measure and telling someone that I love there hair, Or a shirt, I allow people with kids or the elderly go in front of me checking out. Since most of us wear masks , people cant always see us smile at them so we need to be vocal. Last week I picked up a med and my Pharmacist has big beautiful bright blue eyes, I complimented her.. She said I made her day..

Small acts of kindness

[Nammu]

Ooo that’s an accurate statement! I hadn’t thought about. People can’t see smiles so you need to be vocal! I do the small non verbal stuff but yeah, who can see that? I do tell the cashiers to have a nice day but I could enlarge on that.

I kept busy today with some administrative tasks to do with my home ownership that i have been putting off for ages. It was all computer and phone work. It was going well but it looked like one task would stump me. I gave up and took a break. I had an idea and i tried again and solved it! WOW! WHEW! I'm so thrilled! It's really nice to be good on a computer. I owe that to my ex-husband, a true nerd.

Anyways, i'm just so pleased with myself! Persistence pays!

Hugs to all who suffer!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I kept busy today with some administrative tasks to do with my home that i have been putting off for ages. It was all computer and phone work. It was going well but it looked like one task would stump me. I gave up and took a break. I had an idea and i tried again and solved it! WOW! WHEW! I'm so thrilled! It's really nice to be good on a computer. I owe that to my ex-husband, a true nerd.

Anyways, i'm just so pleased with myself! Persistence pays!

Hugs to all who suffer!

My dad always said if you get stumped to take a break and come back to it.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

....

The situation with your dad is a really tough one

Thank you for that blog post link. Interesting, isn't it?!



~Christina

What a meaningful post

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

This seems to be happening from Vancouver to maybe San Luis Obispo or so. It was 80 here and then, two days later, it is 33. Shocking. Summer to winter. Like that.

My depression is typically Oct.-Apr. So far, this year, my mood is pretty flawless. New med. Yay.

I still have not spoken to my precious son in 12 yrs. Bad divorce, bitter mommy. Sad. My daughter is 12, though, and is going to be doing all school work from my place now. She got an F! Hope I can support and love her.

Be strong. Persevere. It is how we survive together to help each other tomorrow. Hugs!!

Hugs!!

Yeah, 2 days ago I was sticking my face in front of the a/c blower because I was so hot; today I finally turned the heater on.

I'm so, so sorry about your son.


Thanks for the encouragement, hugs to you, too bpc

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I saw the doctor today. And he was all like “everything looks good. Want more pain meds?” I think I just suck at pain management because I’m so scared of getting addicted. He wants to see me again next week. I’m getting tired of seeing them.

Today I’m worn out mentally and physically but not necessarily anxious. Although I almost had a panic attack in the waiting room thinking of some Facebook thing saying herd immunity from the virus meant 15 million people dying. I really need to quit social media altogether.

I plan on talking to my therapist about my issue with her because I just can’t take it anymore with everything else I have going on. I’m exhausted.

Tomorrow I have my first in session Pdoc appointment since February I think and I am going to look totally different. I know he’ll be super cool about it. But I’ve gone off 2 of my meds on my own and I’m not so sure he’ll be “super cool” about that.

Hugs, MD. Super proud of you!!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Moose72

I just got an email from the apartment complex saying that there was "police presence" in the complex and they'll give information when they know more. I thought I heard gun shots! That was more normal in my old neighborhood! Once, I saw police outside an apartment in the same building as mine-lots of police cars- with a man with no shirt on with an assault rifle over his shoulder. Anyway, I would've thought that this place wouldn't have those types of problems. At least the complex is admitting it and dealing with it! I've been home except for around noon when I went out to get some Tim Horton's coffee and then later when I took the trash out. I had the TV on when I heard the gun shots so I turned it off, but I didn't hear them anymore.

Stay safe, Moose!

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I am like a sloth today.. Everything is taking forever... But really why does it matter ? there is no place I need to be.

I started watching the TV show "House" last night I have the boxed set. Its a huge distraction, Feels like the whole world is on fire... literally and people raging against each other.. It costs nothing to be kind. Anytime I have to go out for groceries or meds etc I try to compliment 5 people. Everyone is stressed beyond measure and telling someone that I love there hair, Or a shirt, I allow people with kids or the elderly go in front of me checking out. Since most of us wear masks , people cant always see us smile at them so we need to be vocal. Last week I picked up a med and my Pharmacist has big beautiful bright blue eyes, I complimented her.. She said I made her day..

Small acts of kindness

I love that you do that. I am sure people can really use the kindness right now.

[yellow_fleurs]

Hi all! Doing okay today, although it does feel like someone replaced my brain with cotton sometime between yesterday and today and I feel slowed down. Also feeling generally achy again. Not sure if this is medication related or what, but wish my body and mind would decide if it likes this new medication or not.

I had a good therapy session today with the new therapist I am seeing for OCD. Although, she is also helping me with the depression a bit. She's good at helping me come up with things I can do and it seems like more of an action oriented type of therapy than I was doing previously which I think is good for me right now because I tend to get stuck in my head a lot.

Sending compassion to everyone.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I am like a sloth today.. Everything is taking forever... But really why does it matter ? there is no place I need to be.

I started watching the TV show "House" last night I have the boxed set. Its a huge distraction, Feels like the whole world is on fire... literally and people raging against each other.. It costs nothing to be kind. Anytime I have to go out for groceries or meds etc I try to compliment 5 people. Everyone is stressed beyond measure and telling someone that I love there hair, Or a shirt, I allow people with kids or the elderly go in front of me checking out. Since most of us wear masks , people cant always see us smile at them so we need to be vocal. Last week I picked up a med and my Pharmacist has big beautiful bright blue eyes, I complimented her.. She said I made her day..

Small acts of kindness

That’s fantastic! I do small acts of kindness but I could be doing a whole lot more to do my part in healing the world during a troublesome time. Thank you for reminding me.

[Soupe du jour]

Anyone with a spouse, partner, or other roommate get frustrated when you want to start the day, but they are still sleeping or otherwise doing little? I'm experiencing this right now. Normally, I would get up anyway and start charging into things, but I can't so much because of my ankle. Oh gosh! An injured ankle is so disabling!

Our floors downstairs look good, all but some tape on caulk the installers said to keep on for two days. Stuff will be moved back in place there today, but we must wait until my husband's friend comes to help. I don't know when that will be. We need to send the stager photos of these rooms quickly after. We already sent her photos of the upstairs rooms.

My house is totally made over. The money it has required must be recouped along with profit! Must! I want us to fetch at least what the other similar houses are selling for, including ones with a so-called finished basement. Ours is not.

My husband sent the window/glass company a strongly worded email yesterday. They have been problematic, blowing us off way too long. Yesterday Hubby did a video walk through with the moving company price estimator. Pre-covid they would have come to our house in person. Tomorrow we have a deep cleaning crew coming, so the house must be ready for them. The day after, we go to my husband's eye appointment in Philly, which we'll combine with seeking two offers for my grandpop's guitar. Then the day after is the staging and final photography. By sometime next week, the ads may be up and the open house scheduled. But the windows likely won't yet be repaired. That burns me up!

The other day, I created a long list of special selling points for our house. I know the realtor does this, but I don't want her to miss any. I used to do marketing content writing, so confess a compulsion to do so. I only just created bullet points.

I'm suddenly feeling confused about my medications. I need to fill my pill boxes. Did I take the carbamazepine yesterday morning or night? Am I still supposed to take 50 mg Seroquel XR in the morning (plus any PRNs) but now 700 mg XR at night? Or did he mean for me to eliminate the 50 mg XR in the morning, but just take IRs as PRNs?

[MuddyBoots]

I hate my new pnurse. Just had an extremely stressful call with her because she’s “worried about my safety” when I’m doing better than I have been in years. She thinks she’s a therapist. Just send the scripts over and leave me alone. And she still wants me to take seroquel in the afternoon, when I haven’t been and am DOING FINE. I don’t need all these meds with no benefits and tons of side effects shoved down my throat.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Anyone with a spouse, partner, or other roommate get frustrated when you want to start the day, but they are still sleeping or otherwise doing little? ...

Yes. That's one of the reasons my husband and I don't live in the same house.

With regard to your medication, it sounds like you definitely need to consult your pdoc.

emotionally, I have not had a very good day- mainly because I spent most of it, sat on my bed, watching tv doing absolutely nothing (that, and eating roast
chicken potato chips) so another day gone, another day wasted.

physically, my day's been okay. my body's been actually been behaving (I have pain in my back and legs) but this is mormal for me anyway

[Gabyunbound]

Hi everyone

I'm a healthcare worker and have been doing telehealth since COVID. Now we're going back to the hospital as of Monday. We have a small office, so only so many people can be back at work on any given day, so I'll probably only be there about twice a week (still haven't gotten my schedule) and the rest of the days continue to do telehealth.

I'm nervous. For various reasons. One is that I've gotten very comfortable working from home, it's safe and cozy; changing my routines is very hard for me. Another is that I HATE driving and will have to go back to doing so, and in rush hour. And third, cases have and are still increasing in my state, as they are in so many others, and I'm afraid of a surge overwhelming the hospital. Which leads me to the fact that I'm afraid of getting COVID.

We're taking all kinds of precautions, including wearing surgical masks in the office, in the halls, and with patients, in other words all the time, and eye protection with all patients as well. I was feeling fairly safe about this until this latest surge. As far as the ED (we work all over the hospital, it's a long story explaining what I do), you don't know what they're coming in with until they're sitting in front of you in triage. I really admire those who work in Emergency Departments; they are, truly, on the front lines. Everywhere else in the hospital, at least you know what you're dealing with from the outset.

So I'm anxious about for all sorts of reasons. The positive, is that I will once again have in-person contact with patients and other providers, and I have missed that.

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Sapien

I hate my new pnurse. Just had an extremely stressful call with her because she’s “worried about my safety” when I’m doing better than I have been in years. She thinks she’s a therapist. Just send the scripts over and leave me alone. And she still wants me to take seroquel in the afternoon, when I haven’t been and am DOING FINE. I don’t need all these meds with no benefits and tons of side effects shoved down my throat.

You sound a bit agitated, Sapien. Are yo feeling irritable or agitated possibly? I am just musing about a teensy mixed stuff maybe. Like a touch of. Like, maybe, sorta, kinda, dysphoric mania maybe stuff or something. What do you think?

[MuddyBoots]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

You sound a bit agitated, Sapien. Are yo feeling irritable or agitated possibly? I am just musing about a teensy mixed stuff maybe. Like a touch of. Like, maybe, sorta, kinda, dysphoric mania maybe stuff or something. What do you think?

Thanks for the input! I am a bit irritable, but I don’t think I’m necessarily mixed/manic. Just frustrated. I will keep an eye on it though to be safe.

[Moose72]

My bathroom smells like cleaning chemicals. So does downstairs near the laundry room.

I paid my gas and electric bill today and it was 1/3 of what it used to be!

I'm watching "The Help" on Netflix.

[Mountaindewed]

I saw my Pdoc today. First in person session in 8 months. Man did I spill my guts. About going off and then on my Wellbutrin. The melatonin. The SI. How scared shitless I am about the election. How I don’t think the US can survive another 4 years of Trump. How ****ing scared I am it’s the end of the world. The scary stuff I read about herd immunity. How messed up emotionally and physically my surgery made me. How I feel that at times my chest still looks feminine. I don’t think I’ve been that honest or talked with him like that before. I haven’t even been honest like that with my therapist lately.

So he’s taking me off my topamax and the Wellbutrin. Putting me on something that starts with an M that helps with moods and sleep. Forget the name. And extended release Xanax. I thought it went very well though.

[Soupe du jour]

Moose, great news about the gas/electric bill! I hope that in the new place you can save enough to treat yourself to more things. We all need to!

Mountaindewed, the majority of the nation is scared, with just the exception of a small group of very misled people, and some that just don't care or pay attention enough. I hope that as you heal from your procedure, the situation feels much more right and comfortable.

Sapien, sending hugs.

[Soupe du jour]

I don't like arguing with my husband, and especially not in front of others. [His friend is here.] But he is a jerk sometimes. I sent a text to the stager saying one thing, then a few minutes ago he says "She's not going to use my art!" Well, in my text to her, I implied that she could. Now I'm in a position where I've misled her because Hubby suddenly vetoed the idea. This is far far from the first time. He can get so stubborn and unaccommodating! Almost like a big baby!

It was nice that Hubby went to the grocery store earlier. I wasn't up to it with my ankle, plus it was nice to be alone for a bit. I know that in Czech Republic I will need to find "alone time". He'll likely still be home most of the time, plus I realize I will depend on him a lot in the beginning, because of the language issue.

A couple weeks back, my psychiatrist basically ordered me to talk to my therapist about having a "family meeting". Well, I talked to her and specifically mentioned pdoc's order. In the end, predictably, she pretty much agreed with my thoughts on the situation. That there's nothing much more to say. She asked me a few questions, the answers of which were things I've mentioned several times. I'm not saying that she doesn't listen, but I think she's at a loss for how to guide me through this stressful period. I mentioned that my mood had been elevated enough for some notable med changes by pdoc. Her response, which is common from her, is "The last time we talked [meaning 6 weeks ago] you seemed pretty stable to me." Umm, so what was I supposed to say to that? Everything has actually been peachy keen and I'm lying to you about it all? This is a major reason why I do not seek her when having psych issues. I instead contact my psychiatrist. He knows me. She really doesn't, and there's no sense working on her getting to know me given my forthcoming departure. She doesn't "get it"! Plus, when I have sought her in between sessions, she always says she doesn't have time to fit me in. My psychiatrist always does.

The stager just responded to my text. I asked that my husband now be the main contact, that I am stepping back a bit. By the way, I am doing much better today than I had been. I guess the med changes have helped.