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  #676  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 04:17 PM
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Moose72 Moose72 is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
I know, right? All you have to do is set your phone timer for 30 or 60 minutes (depending on if its the washer or dryer) and come BACK when it goes off. Simple. There is no folding table in our laundry room, or I might think about that. Luckily there are 3 dryers and three washers so I shouldn't have any problem getting a dryer.
So ONE dryer was open, so I put both my washing loads in there since the vast majority of one was sheets. I hope they're all dry when I go to get them in an hour.
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  #677  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 04:21 PM
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Nammu Nammu is offline
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Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
Did you see Joker? I saw it when it was in theaters I hated it! It was over-the-top violent and made it seems like all mentally ill people are crazy psychopaths!.
Nope. I heard it was extremely violent and didn’t want to see it. Yeah I heard too about the mental illness slant. As if we don’t have enough bad publicity when the facts are MI are more likely to be victims.
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  #678  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 04:35 PM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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I thought Joker (with Joaquin Phoenix) was an excellent movie with an outstanding performance by Joaquin. Very creatively and meaningfully performed.

I do understand how some people would see it as stigmatizing a mentally ill man. However, I do not believe that was the purpose of the movie at all. I saw it much more as a political statement about the direction the US, in particular, is going. Suppression from the very top. Basically, a world in decay. The rise of hatred and anger. Rebellion. And more.

It is a shame that the Joker character seemed to become a demon, of sorts, to many people. Frankly, in most ways I completely sympathized with him. He was a most tragic figure.

Obviously, the film director did not adequately achieve what he wanted to because perceptions and understanding of the film do differ so greatly. Or, did he hit the mark? We are living in such a divided world, nowadays. Each side of the spectrum thinks very ill of the opposite, with too little understanding of the other. Many in between seem complacent, or as if intoxicated by an opiate.

I understand many will disagree with my post. I also understand the concern about further stigmatization of mentally ill. However, the Batman stories have demonized the Joker so much in the past that it is clearly difficult for many to possibly sympathize with him. I'm not implying that Batman should be regarded as a bad character. No. Just one that doesn't understand the Joker as presented in the film Joker, as opposed to previous films. Bruce Wayne in the film Joker is only a child, and a child of who I believe is the primary "bad guy" of the movie. Bruce Wayne will likely only know what he is taught by his father. Perhaps some good, but also bad. What is bad can still have some good, and vice versa.

Anyway, I do not condone violence and think that hatred is a disease in and of itself. Hatred, anger, and stigma need to extinguished. How to do that best (most effectively) is a mystery to me. Whomever figures that out deserves 10 Nobel Peace prizes.

Last edited by Soupe du jour; Nov 29, 2020 at 06:01 PM.
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  #679  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 04:45 PM
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MuddyBoots MuddyBoots is offline
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Feeling the pain of failure right now. Can’t even read a book. Can’t get a job. Break down just applying for jobs... push away everyone that comes across my path. Couldn’t even stay in CC for more than two semesters. Couldn’t pass most of the classes I took. Can’t quietly sit through a movie. Constantly losing ****. Can’t remember anything. On and on.
I did, however, go for a very short run today. Ran to the end of the road (about a mile) and walked back. My knee feels fine and my back is only about a 3 on the pain scale today. Okay maybe a four now that I’m sitting down, but still its not limiting me that much.
Fking crying right now because I just cannot take anymore lossses. I dont want to play this game anymore.
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  #680  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 05:26 PM
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Sat with mom today and watched movies and tv series. We had a good time. I got some household chores completed and I’m making a chicken pot pie for dinner then heading to bed.

I really just want to curl up in a little ball and sleep for hours. I’ll get a handle on it real soon. I refuse to let this be my winter. I’ve worked hard to overcome things like SAD.

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  #681  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 05:32 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
I thought Joker (with Joaquin Phoenix) was an excellent movie with an outstanding performance by Joaquin. Very creatively and meaningfully performed.

I do understand how some people would see it as stigmatizing a mentally ill man. However, I do not believe that was the purpose of the movie at all. I saw it much more as a political statement about the direction the US, in particular, is going. Suppression from the very top. Basically, a world in decay. The rise of hatred and anger. Rebellion. And more.

It is a shame that the Joker character seemed to become a demon, of sorts, to many people. Frankly, in most ways I completely sympathized with him. He was a most tragic figure.

Obviously, the film director did not adequately achieve what he wanted to because perceptions and understanding of the film do differ so greatly. Or, did he hit the mark? We are living in such a divided world, nowadays. Each side of the spectrum thinks very ill of the opposite, with too little understanding of the other. Many in between seem complacent, or as if intoxicated by an opiate.

I understand many will disagree with my post. I also understand the concern about further stigmatization of mentally ill. However, the Batman stories have demonized the Joker so much in the past that it is clearly difficult for many to possibly sympathize with him. I'm not implying that Batman should be regarded as a bad character. No. Just one that doesn't understand the Joker as presented in the film Joker, as opposed to previous films. Bruce Wayne in the film Joker is only a child, and a child of who I believe is the primary "bad guy" of the movie. Bruce Wayne will likely only know what he is taught by is father.

Anyway, I do not condone violence and think that hatred is a disease in and of itself. Hatred, anger, and stigma need to extinguished. How to do that best (most effectively) is a mystery to me. Whomever figures that out deserves 10 Nobel Peace prizes.

Terrific post, Soupe! My perception of Joker was just as yours.

I think you and I need to go to a movie together. We have the same taste.
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  #682  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 05:34 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sapien View Post
Feeling the pain of failure right now. Can’t even read a book. Can’t get a job. Break down just applying for jobs... push away everyone that comes across my path. Couldn’t even stay in CC for more than two semesters. Couldn’t pass most of the classes I took. Can’t quietly sit through a movie. Constantly losing ****. Can’t remember anything. On and on.
I did, however, go for a very short run today. Ran to the end of the road (about a mile) and walked back. My knee feels fine and my back is only about a 3 on the pain scale today. Okay maybe a four now that I’m sitting down, but still its not limiting me that much.
Fking crying right now because I just cannot take anymore lossses. I dont want to play this game anymore.

I'm so sorry, Sapien. I suspect you're being terribly hard on yourself.
Congrats on the run - that's outstanding!
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  #683  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 05:40 PM
Anonymous328112
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Head vs Heart battles. I'm so conflicted to the point I just want to scream and cry and lay in the floor for days. I've been in a weird place for awhile but this is just really messing with my emotions. I am in no position to add anyone to this mix of insanity that is my emotional stability right now and I won't do that. I'm doing crazy stuff and I feel emptier than ever. It's just an all around bad time. The only person with a problem is me, I guess. Gotta work through this crap.
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  #684  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 06:30 PM
Anonymous328112
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
I thought Joker (with Joaquin Phoenix) was an excellent movie with an outstanding performance by Joaquin. Very creatively and meaningfully performed.

I do understand how some people would see it as stigmatizing a mentally ill man. However, I do not believe that was the purpose of the movie at all. I saw it much more as a political statement about the direction the US, in particular, is going. Suppression from the very top. Basically, a world in decay. The rise of hatred and anger. Rebellion. And more.

It is a shame that the Joker character seemed to become a demon, of sorts, to many people. Frankly, in most ways I completely sympathized with him. He was a most tragic figure.

Obviously, the film director did not adequately achieve what he wanted to because perceptions and understanding of the film do differ so greatly. Or, did he hit the mark? We are living in such a divided world, nowadays. Each side of the spectrum thinks very ill of the opposite, with too little understanding of the other. Many in between seem complacent, or as if intoxicated by an opiate.

I understand many will disagree with my post. I also understand the concern about further stigmatization of mentally ill. However, the Batman stories have demonized the Joker so much in the past that it is clearly difficult for many to possibly sympathize with him. I'm not implying that Batman should be regarded as a bad character. No. Just one that doesn't understand the Joker as presented in the film Joker, as opposed to previous films. Bruce Wayne in the film Joker is only a child, and a child of who I believe is the primary "bad guy" of the movie. Bruce Wayne will likely only know what he is taught by his father. Perhaps some good, but also bad. What is bad can still have some good, and vice versa.

Anyway, I do not condone violence and think that hatred is a disease in and of itself. Hatred, anger, and stigma need to extinguished. How to do that best (most effectively) is a mystery to me. Whomever figures that out deserves 10 Nobel Peace prizes.

I am no Batman expert nor do I really have a leg to stand on in this conversation, but I can say this -- there are incarnations of Batman that really strive to humanize the characters, even the villains. When I was a kid there was Batman: The Animated Series. It really focused on the development of the villians. I remember Poison Ivy's persona came to be from as an overcompensation for a strong and well intentioned desire to protect plants, and got pushed aside and has to watch things burn from the side line, and well.. became evil.

I remember the storyline for Harley Quinn was she was a psychiatrist who while analyzing the Joker falls in love with him. I mean... I don't think these are "novel" to the show, they may be canon in the Batman world -- my point is, they put strong emphasis on the fact these people who do bad things, aren't innately evil to the core. I really liked that. It made you think about the black-and-white thinking we do.
  #685  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 06:32 PM
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Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is online now
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I wasn't in a good mood recently and my friend recommended watching Christmas movies to cheer me up. So I've been watching those. There's tons on Netflix and Amazon Prime! I'm gonna try to watch 1 or 2 everyday throughout the holidays. I watched The Grinch (2018 version) today and really enjoyed it.

I'm doing my Christmas shopping next week. I only have a few people to get gifts for (my family and a couple friends) because I don't have many people I'm close with. I'll be getting a tree to so I can have my first Christmas in my new apartment. I think it will look great in my living room

I'm trying to spend more time active and out of my bedroom all day. I have a bad habit of staying in here laying down the whole day and getting in a rut. So today I was in my living room for most of the time.

Tomorrow I will challenge my agoraphobia and try to go on a long walk. It's supposed to rain. oh well, I'll just bring an umbrella.

I'm attempting to change several bad habits at once. I don't know if that's the best way to go about it but I'm gonna try my best. I'm working on eating healthier, getting outside more often instead of staying inside all day, taking a shower everyday (I struggle with this lately), being more active and taking care of laundry, household chores, etc. And I'm also trying to add practicing my ukulele again, and doing yoga.

I know this all may be overambitious but I really need to make some serious changes in my daily life.
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  #686  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 06:48 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Blue_Bird, your goals sound excellent. A tree will be so pretty! I strung colorful lights in my bedroom. I'll leave them up all winter, they're so cheery.

I tend to stay inside of my apartment, too. Days on end. It's a tiny, comfortable apartment, my cats are here with me, I have an exercise bike, endless chores to do - why go outside? But then I start being somewhat phobic about leaving my home. When I do, though, I feel that I've accomplished something big.
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  #687  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 06:48 PM
Anonymous45023
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@Soupe du jour (and @MarcusAurelius if you have other source insights)...
Soupe... I always understood that Bruce Wayne was taught not by his father, but by his butler Alfred, both his parents having been killed coming from a theatre. Did they show his parents as being alive? I can't decide if I want to watch the movie, which is why I ask and don't just watch it and find out myself.
  #688  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 06:56 PM
Anonymous45023
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I'm not doing great physically. Started feeling ill yesterday afternoon, went home, straight to jammies, heated up some soup and did my go-to echinacea tincture with emergen-c "chaser", lol. Hoped that topping that with a night of sleep would knock it out, but it didn't. There's not fever, breathing issues or cough, so that's good, but I'm fighting *something*.

Mentally not great, but not terrible.
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  #689  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 07:00 PM
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Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BethRags View Post
Blue_Bird, your goals sound excellent. A tree will be so pretty! I strung colorful lights in my bedroom. I'll leave them up all winter, they're so cheery.

I tend to stay inside of my apartment, too. Days on end. It's a tiny, comfortable apartment, my cats are here with me, I have an exercise bike, endless chores to do - why go outside? But then I start being somewhat phobic about leaving my home. When I do, though, I feel that I've accomplished something big.
I love Christmas lights, I would leave them up all year if I could lol they're so pretty. Your apartment sounds nice, and that's great you have a cat, I can't wait to have one again, they're great company.

Yeah, I get phobic about leaving the house too so it's always feels good when I accomplish taking a walk or doing grocery shopping. Maybe it will get easier over time
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  #690  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 07:06 PM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Innerzone View Post
@Soupe du jour (and @MarcusAurelius if you have other source insights)...
Soupe... I always understood that Bruce Wayne was taught not by his father, but by his butler Alfred, both his parents having been killed coming from a theatre. Did they show his parents as being alive? I can't decide if I want to watch the movie, which is why I ask and don't just watch it and find out myself.
All I will say is that the kid character (Bruce Wayne) in Joker had pretty much zero role in the movie. He looked cute and expressed some child-like curiosity. Perhaps a good way for some to watch "Joker" is to completely ignore any past Batman movie or cartoon, and watch Joker as its own entity and statement. If possible.
  #691  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 07:12 PM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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Originally Posted by BethRags View Post


Terrific post, Soupe! My perception of Joker was just as yours.

I think you and I need to go to a movie together. We have the same taste.
That would be fun!

Am I remembering right, but wasn't there some movie in the past where a couple (or two friends) watched a movie together remotely? I think it was in "When Harry Met Sally", but I guess they did so just on the phone. I wonder if something like that could be done via some video conference? If it's already available, folks please excuse me being totally out of touch with new technology.

Update: Yes! It's at


I think Harry and Sally had some of the greater movie debates

Last edited by Soupe du jour; Nov 29, 2020 at 07:29 PM.
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  #692  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 07:48 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soupe du jour View Post
That would be fun!

Am I remembering right, but wasn't there some movie in the past where a couple (or two friends) watched a movie together remotely? I think it was in "When Harry Met Sally", but I guess they did so just on the phone. I wonder if something like that could be done via some video conference? If it's already available, folks please excuse me being totally out of touch with new technology.

Update: Yes! It's at


I think Harry and Sally had some of the greater movie debates


Definitely! The best movie debates.
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  #693  
Old Nov 29, 2020, 09:13 PM
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I took my Geodon at 1:15 this afternoon. I wonder if I should take the night one now. It’s been 7 hours. Then take it again at 5AM. That way I can get back into my routine of 3PM- sometime after 1AM. I’m so confused. I just know I’ve only had one dose in 24 hours.
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  #694  
Old Nov 30, 2020, 02:49 AM
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bpcyclist bpcyclist is offline
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XXXXXXX TRIGGER WARNING ! THEMES OF S XXXX


, just got absolutely beyond triggered watching the conclusion of The Undoing on HBO. David E. Kelly and Susanne Bier and Nicole Kidman are a team so talented in understanding us that it is scary. Probably the single most important and best televeision series I have prrsonally ever seen in my entire life. I am shattered.

I will not spoil it for those who wish to xatch. Highly encouraged for us, though. If you care about mental illness and families, you MUST watch this show. It is required viewing now. Today. Immediately. Because it will get us thinking about how we can keep the next person from jumping. And we all know that the cyclist is a legendary Portland jumper.

So. Don't do it ! Never, ever, ever do it. It is an error . We xill help you. We will love you until you begin to love yourself. And can then maintain some bit of stability. Like I am doing right now. Just survived multiple jumping attempts, myself. I am still sad and lonely and raw
But God came to me and reminded me He loves me. Do not give up. Then, he added the joy of the lord in my soft heart. Yay ! Now, I am riding my bike and taking all my meds correctly and baking cheerful Christmas cookies, which brings me great joy. All alone. Noone here. But I am fine. Doing my program of health maintenance.

So. That is is from here. Also, buying a house. Neefs work. Love. More love. Waves of neverending loveb .

Oh yeah, the show also shows the reality of how messed up we all actually are. First show really ever to dig into this untidy reality. Kids will not speak to us. Lots of folks cheating. Embezeling. Happened to me. Repeatedly. Somebody announces they have always been gay and wants an award. We are like, it is 2021, dude. No sprcial favors for being gay, dude. Whatever ! . Daughter xants to auction her virginity on ebay to help battered women, or whatever. On and on.

Point is, I guess, David and Nicole and Susanne are rrflecting back to us, we the people, who zre sick, and they are basically saying, look, we, David, Susanne, Nicole, and Hugh, we are prlbably just as messed up in our disastrous lives as you suicidal and bipolar folks are. We are almost there. We have run out of tools. I believe David is suggestng and Nicole and Susanne and Hugh are masterfully illustrating for us. Teaching us. Showing us. Life is difficult and without candy and roses much of the time. It is basically constant cleanup of disaster after disaster. Or maybe we just hide all that.

Love. Love is our answer. Always. I love all of you from the bottom of my heart.
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Last edited by bpcyclist; Nov 30, 2020 at 04:37 AM.
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  #695  
Old Nov 30, 2020, 08:38 AM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist View Post
XXXXXXX TRIGGER WARNING ! THEMES OF S XXXX


, just got absolutely beyond triggered watching the conclusion of The Undoing on HBO. David E. Kelly and Susanne Bier and Nicole Kidman are a team so talented in understanding us that it is scary. Probably the single most important and best televeision series I have prrsonally ever seen in my entire life. I am shattered.

I will not spoil it for those who wish to xatch. Highly encouraged for us, though. If you care about mental illness and families, you MUST watch this show. It is required viewing now. Today. Immediately. Because it will get us thinking about how we can keep the next person from jumping. And we all know that the cyclist is a legendary Portland jumper.

So. Don't do it ! Never, ever, ever do it. It is an error . We xill help you. We will love you until you begin to love yourself. And can then maintain some bit of stability. Like I am doing right now. Just survived multiple jumping attempts, myself. I am still sad and lonely and raw
But God came to me and reminded me He loves me. Do not give up. Then, he added the joy of the lord in my soft heart. Yay ! Now, I am riding my bike and taking all my meds correctly and baking cheerful Christmas cookies, which brings me great joy. All alone. Noone here. But I am fine. Doing my program of health maintenance.

So. That is is from here. Also, buying a house. Neefs work. Love. More love. Waves of neverending loveb .

Oh yeah, the show also shows the reality of how messed up we all actually are. First show really ever to dig into this untidy reality. Kids will not speak to us. Lots of folks cheating. Embezeling. Happened to me. Repeatedly. Somebody announces they have always been gay and wants an award. We are like, it is 2021, dude. No sprcial favors for being gay, dude. Whatever ! . Daughter xants to auction her virginity on ebay to help battered women, or whatever. On and on.

Point is, I guess, David and Nicole and Susanne are rrflecting back to us, we the people, who zre sick, and they are basically saying, look, we, David, Susanne, Nicole, and Hugh, we are prlbably just as messed up in our disastrous lives as you suicidal and bipolar folks are. We are almost there. We have run out of tools. I believe David is suggestng and Nicole and Susanne and Hugh are masterfully illustrating for us. Teaching us. Showing us. Life is difficult and without candy and roses much of the time. It is basically constant cleanup of disaster after disaster. Or maybe we just hide all that.

Love. Love is our answer. Always. I love all of you from the bottom of my heart.
I get the same reaction when I listen to It Ends Tonight by the All American Rejects. It causes major SI.

I hope you feel better.
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  #696  
Old Nov 30, 2020, 09:50 AM
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Glad to see you bpcyclist. you sound much better.
sorry life is so hard for us.
bizi
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lamictal 2x a day
haldol 2x a day
cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night,
fish oil coq10
multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine
Remeron at night,
zyprexa,
requip2-4mg





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  #697  
Old Nov 30, 2020, 10:20 AM
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daladico daladico is offline
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Hi friends been doing well. Stable for 3 weeks now which is the longest stretch I’ve had in a longgg time. Oh how good it feels

went on a hike with a friend yesterday and had a great time. Trying really hard to be more social which is a challenge for me. Grateful to have some amazing people in my life.

Have my second therapy appointment today. Looking forward to growing more

I think about you guys often- hope you are doing well & have a good day <3
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Dx:
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Meds:
Risperidone
Tegretol
Abilify
Zoloft
Buspar
Adderall

[prior meds:
lithium,
lamictal,
cymbalta,
ritalin]
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  #698  
Old Nov 30, 2020, 10:32 AM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Originally Posted by daladico View Post
Hi friends been doing well. Stable for 3 weeks now which is the longest stretch I’ve had in a longgg time. Oh how good it feels

went on a hike with a friend yesterday and had a great time. Trying really hard to be more social which is a challenge for me. Grateful to have some amazing people in my life.

Have my second therapy appointment today. Looking forward to growing more

I think about you guys often- hope you are doing well & have a good day <3
What a beautiful waterfall! It’s great that you’ve been stable for three weeks. May it continue.
Hugs from:
daladico
Thanks for this!
daladico
  #699  
Old Nov 30, 2020, 10:34 AM
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,579
Quote:
Originally Posted by Innerzone View Post
I'm not doing great physically. Started feeling ill yesterday afternoon, went home, straight to jammies, heated up some soup and did my go-to echinacea tincture with emergen-c "chaser", lol. Hoped that topping that with a night of sleep would knock it out, but it didn't. There's not fever, breathing issues or cough, so that's good, but I'm fighting *something*.

Mentally not great, but not terrible.
I hope you feel better soon. Physically and mentally.
Thanks for this!
daladico
  #700  
Old Nov 30, 2020, 10:51 AM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Czechia
Posts: 5,172
Quote:
Originally Posted by daladico View Post
Hi friends been doing well. Stable for 3 weeks now which is the longest stretch I’ve had in a longgg time. Oh how good it feels

went on a hike with a friend yesterday and had a great time. Trying really hard to be more social which is a challenge for me. Grateful to have some amazing people in my life.

Have my second therapy appointment today. Looking forward to growing more

I think about you guys often- hope you are doing well & have a good day <3
Beautiful waterfall! Thanks for sharing, daladico! I'm also happy to read about your stability. May it go on for a very long time.
Hugs from:
daladico
Thanks for this!
daladico
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