[BeyondtheRainbow]

I went in for my mammogram and biopsy today and at the last minute they decided to hold the mammogram and do an ultrasound to decide if I needed a biopsy at all. This doctor did not feel I needed the biopsy, just ultrasounds every 6 months for 2 years. I have a benign tumor usually found in women much younger than I am. I am so relieved that I can feel it in my muscles. Tonight I'm going to sleep soundly.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I went in for my mammogram and biopsy today and at the last minute they decided to hold the mammogram and do an ultrasound to decide if I needed a biopsy at all. This doctor did not feel I needed the biopsy, just ultrasounds every 6 months for 2 years. I have a benign tumor usually found in women much younger than I am. I am so relieved that I can feel it in my muscles. Tonight I'm going to sleep soundly.

THAT IS FANTASTIC!!!!!! I am so, so happy to learn of your GREAT news

[Victoria'smom]

Possible trigger:

I want to SH BAD

It's bad enough I have my headphones on. Google says It'll take a week for abilify to work. I'm trying to be optimistic but this is rough. Everything in me wants to destroy me and the world is to loud.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Possible trigger:

I want to SH BAD

It's bad enough I have my headphones on. Google says It'll take a week for abilify to work. I'm trying to be optimistic but this is rough. Everything in me wants to destroy me and the world is to loud.

What can you do to distract yourself from those thoughts? Can you phone a friend, or watch a movie, or read a book? A book would be nice because you really get inside it with your mind. Doesn't matter if you've read it already either.

[Victoria'smom]

My H and I are going to listen to terry pratchette book.

[Bipolarchic14]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

My H and I are going to listen to terry pratchette book.

I hope you start feeling better soon.

[bpcyclist]

Rough couple days. Super manic for 14 hours and then crashed depressed. Now, manic again. Ugh.

[Soupe du jour]

Hubby agreed when I stated this morning that I should "lay low" again for a few days. This morning and most of yesterday, the bipolar hypomanic symptom of irritability has acted up. And I must say "irritability" is not an adequate word in many of my past cases. Outbursts, moments of fury, and angry aggression are more accurate.

Only yesterday when I finally received the mail packet from my nephrologist's office did I find that I needed more blood tests done. All related to my kidneys. My next appointment with that doctor is coming up quickly, so I had to get the tests today. Luckily, I was able to grab an appointment from someone who likely cancelled last minute. So I got to the testing site literally three minutes before my appointment time. Thirty seconds before, I attempted to walk past a woman waiting outside the door (almost blocking the door). Before I even approached closely enough to say "Excuse me" she started yelling at me that I was coming too close to her (both of us wearing masks). Gotta say that set me off. I, aggressively in kind, yelled for her not to yell at me. Then she started yelling again. I yelled in response telling her my appointment was in 30 seconds and I needed to get in. She then yelled something again. By that time, the phlebotomist came out to break up "the fight". I then, pissed off, said "OK, I'll wait 20 feet away, but won't exactly hear my name called!" The woman then, in a huff, exclaimed that she was going home without the tests. To that, I thought she was ridiculous all around, but happy she finally got the hell out of the way. Surely enough, when I managed to get in the door my name was called literally 10 seconds later. Will admit that I was fuming, and the others in the waiting room heard. When I was called to the phlebotomist, the phlebotomist told me to please stop fretting about it all. So I did, and acknowledged my fretting and apologized...to the phlebotomist. I also soon after mentioned that my stress is great, lately, and that I was unfortunately over triggered. You can't imagine how many times in my life stuff like this has happened. Unfortunately for those who start aggressive exchanges with me (when I'm elevated in mood), my bipolar aggression is almost always the more intimidating. I've referred to it in the past as "Tasmanian Devil". I think it's shocked many because at first sight, I can appear quite soft, which at heart I am. Anyway, what a crappy way to start my day!

My sister and nephew are coming at 10 am to visit me and to take some of my pantry and freezer items. I'm sure that visit will be calm and peaceful. Both are calming individuals.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by bpcyclist

Rough couple days. Super manic for 14 hours and then crashed depressed. Now, manic again. Ugh.

Yikes. Sounds awful. I don't usually see you posting (I don't think?) about moods switching around so quickly. Is there a plan for getting your moods stable?

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Hubby agreed when I stated this morning that I should "lay low" again for a few days. This morning and most of yesterday, the bipolar hypomanic symptom of irritability has acted up. And I must say "irritability" is not an adequate word in many of my past cases. Outbursts, moments of fury, and angry aggression are more accurate.

Only yesterday when I finally received the mail packet from my nephrologist's office did I find that I needed more blood tests done. All related to my kidneys. My next appointment with that doctor is coming up quickly, so I had to get the tests today. Luckily, I was able to grab an appointment from someone who likely cancelled last minute. So I got to the testing site literally three minutes before my appointment time. Thirty seconds before, I attempted to walk past a woman waiting outside the door (almost blocking the door). Before I even approached closely enough to say "Excuse me" she started yelling at me that I was coming too close to her (both of us wearing masks). Gotta say that set me off. I, aggressively in kind, yelled for her not to yell at me. Then she started yelling again. I yelled in response telling her my appointment was in 30 seconds and I needed to get in. She then yelled something again. By that time, the phlebotomist came out to break up "the fight". I then, pissed off, said "OK, I'll wait 20 feet away, but won't exactly hear my name called!" The woman then, in a huff, exclaimed that she was going home without the tests. To that, I thought she was ridiculous all around, but happy she finally got the hell out of the way. Surely enough, when I managed to get in the door my name was called literally 10 seconds later. Will admit that I was fuming, and the others in the waiting room heard. When I was called to the phlebotomist, the phlebotomist told me to please stop fretting about it all. So I did, and acknowledged my fretting and apologized...to the phlebotomist. I also soon after mentioned that my stress is great, lately, and that I was unfortunately over triggered. You can't imagine how many times in my life stuff like this has happened. Unfortunately for those who start aggressive exchanges with me (when I'm elevated in mood), my bipolar aggression is almost always the more intimidating. I've referred to it in the past as "Tasmanian Devil". I think it's shocked many because at first sight, I can appear quite soft, which at heart I am. Anyway, what a crappy way to start my day!

My sister and nephew are coming at 10 am to visit me and to take some of my pantry and freezer items. I'm sure that visit will be calm and peaceful. Both are calming individuals.

I am with you on being irritable, although I don't know if it's a mood thing or med side effect for me. Fortunately I have had to interact with very few people while being irritable. I hope the irritability passes for you soon.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Thanks for sharing!

I'm sorry about the sleep issues and irritability. I can relate, particularly very recently.

Its certainly a challenge to find a good psychiatrist in this area (I won't even go there....)

I have recently noticed (more) my husband's issues around personal space (or maybe it's just me... if anything is wrong in any relationship it usually is me...)

Last night someone visited our cave on business (usual issues re ''social distancing'' etc... I usually just avoid people altogether.... and this is not ''new'' ) I am unsure about.. a lot of things.

Take care

Sorry to hear you are feeling irritable, too! Yeah, as I call around it looks like it might be a challenge. There are good ones in the area it seems, but booked months out or not accepting patients. It's a little stressful because we don't really have my meds figured out so it's not like I just need a refill, I need someone to work on this with. However, it will be okay in the end I am sure.

[yellow_fleurs]

Hi all, doing okay here. As I mentioned in a reply, I am still quite irritable. I didn't realize how much so until I had to go to the store and felt like my head was bursting with irritability on the drive, even though no one was being rude or anything. I had some iced tea when I got back. Sometimes caffeine makes me more irritable, sometimes less. Hoping for the later.

Today is the day I clean seriously clean and rid my apartment of any clutter to help get rid of these bugs that have made it their home recently. It's stressful, but I am trying to take it one step at a time and not panic haha.

I am also apartment hunting at the moment. I am looking forward to moving although I know it will be stressful. At least I am moving close to a support network as opposed to away from one.

Those family members I mentioned do not yet have Covid symptoms, but it is a bit early to know still. The other person I mentioned who has Covid feels awful but is breathing okay so far. Fingers crossed.

[wildflowerchild25]

Good news! I do not have covid. My dr said the other likely cause is a severe sinus infection, though she does not believe it’s bacterial. I’m going to stop at the pharmacy and load up on pseudoephedrine. My headache wasn’t nearly as bad yesterday, though I was quite weak and fatigued. Today I am not as fatigued yet. I think if I rest as much as possible This weekend I will be able to return to work on Monday.

Yesterday we did go look at lights. We turned on some Christmas music and just cruised around. The neighborhoods we went through are quite nicely decorated! RS managed to throw out his back with a really prolonged coughing fit though lol. I teased him about being old. He’s only 38, but he’s got a touch of gray around his sideburns and speckled through this hair. I call him my silver fox

It’s supposed to be relatively warm today and tomorrow but there is a potential for a very significant winter storm on Wednesday night. I’m not too concerned as the weather seems to turn on a dime and even the weather people admitted it was too soon to tell for sure. I teased my son because if it does snow a lot I won’t have to go to work but he’s on full remote so he won’t get a snow day!

I honest think that snow days in this state will be a thing of the past. I believe teachers will be required to keep a supply of remote lessons and if there is a snowstorm they will just attend school remotely for the day. My son may be the last generation to ever remember the joys of a snow day!

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Good news! I do not have covid. My dr said the other likely cause is a severe sinus infection, though she does not believe it’s bacterial. I’m going to stop at the pharmacy and load up on pseudoephedrine. My headache wasn’t nearly as bad yesterday, though I was quite weak and fatigued. Today I am not as fatigued yet. I think if I rest as much as possible This weekend I will be able to return to work on Monday.

Yesterday we did go look at lights. We turned on some Christmas music and just cruised around. The neighborhoods we went through are quite nicely decorated! RS managed to throw out his back with a really prolonged coughing fit though lol. I teased him about being old. He’s only 38, but he’s got a touch of gray around his sideburns and speckled through this hair. I call him my silver fox

It’s supposed to be relatively warm today and tomorrow but there is a potential for a very significant winter storm on Wednesday night. I’m not too concerned as the weather seems to turn on a dime and even the weather people admitted it was too soon to tell for sure. I teased my son because if it does snow a lot I won’t have to go to work but he’s on full remote so he won’t get a snow day!

I honest think that snow days in this state will be a thing of the past. I believe teachers will be required to keep a supply of remote lessons and if there is a snowstorm they will just attend school remotely for the day. My son may be the last generation to ever remember the joys of a snow day!

I absolutely agree with you that snow days will likely be a thing of the past. Kind of sad considering what joy they always brought/bring to young people. Oh well! But at least people need not drive in the snow at all. It often seemed the case that it would start snowing while at work, and then many had to deal with a dangerous drive home. Lots of people in ditches!

Pseudophedrine was always the most effective medication for my sinus pressure. I say "was" because my psychiatrist forbids me from taking it. Even one of the pharmacists I used to go to eventually refused to sell it to me. Fact is, it made me high. Even taking it "as directed". Unfortunately, though, there came a time when I took more than directed. And instead of taking it solely for sinus-related stuff, I started using (abusing) it as the stimulant that it is. Please do be careful with its use.

[Soupe du jour]

My sister and nephew left a little while ago. I was surprised and relieved that she took about 75% of the stuff I offered. I don't think she expected that I'd have that much to give away. All in all, what I gave away likely would have equaled a very hefty grocery bill. She took most of the "partially used" or "just opened" items that a food bank wouldn't have taken, and most all of what they would have. I'm still glad she has them over a food bank. She has done so so much in terms of my father's care and financial stuff. She more than deserves such a gift, of sorts.

[Mountaindewed]

I didn’t sleep good last night. I fell asleep at 6 and I woke up at 10:15 in a lot of pain. I didn’t get back to sleep until 2:30. Then I woke up at 5:30. I didn’t take anything to help me sleep. Although I could have used it. I know I’m not supposed to. So I just dealt with my pain and sleep issues on my own. I did take a Tylenol which helped. Today I’ve been using this TV show I’ve been watching for 3 years as a major distraction all day. Then I turned it off and went to take a shower and the pain and nausea just hit me real hard. Now I feel like throwing up. I’m also kind of depressed but I’m not having any SI or SH thoughts. I’ve eaten today but not much. Today I just forgot to eat. I was so involved in my TV show I wasn’t feeling the hunger. I’ve had a couple Oreos, some goldfish crackers, a bowl of Cheerios and a weight loss shake and a 20oz Coke. I tried shrinking some hoodies and pants so I wouldn’t have to buy new ones. I guess my hoodie shrunk, not sure. I washed it in hot water and dried it on high. My pants fit the same. I am getting super skinny though I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed a big difference from the last time I looked at myself.

[Sunflower123]

Today has been challenging. My brother and mother are both having trouble with their respective wounds. My mother seems to be giving up. That fills me with dread. Some days I feel like a warrior and some days quite helpless. I have a shipment of candles coming in today and my daughter will be here Monday. I’m focusing on these things. I’m determined to remain in a state of gratitude and positivity. Boy, oh boy, is it tough today.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Today has been challenging. My brother and mother are both having trouble with their respective wounds. My mother seems to be giving up. That fills me with dread. Some days I feel like a warrior and some days quite helpless. I have a shipment of candles coming in today and my daughter will be here Monday. I’m focusing on these things. I’m determined to remain in a state of gratitude and positivity. Boy, oh boy, is it tough today.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Moose72]

N3 fixed my tv. Mostly. One of my favorite channels is now missing- broadcast channels. Including PBS- I want to watch the new All Creatures Great and Small, but my mom said she will record it for me. I couldn't get any of them to work before N3 helped me. Leave it to N3 to know how to fix my tv! I took N3 and his girlfriend to the mall today so they could shop for Christmas. The mall was kind of busy, but they had social distancing in place- places on the floor to stand in line and limiting the number of people who could be in the store at once. Still, I felt like there were too many people around, so we left after the shopping was done, which wasn't very much. Plus, Caleb is waiting for a covid test because he is having a slight fever and a few other symptoms. I thought he was supposed to get his results today, but I haven't heard from him.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Moose, when is all creatures going to be on?

[Fuzzybear]

.....................



I will not continue to insult myself because of the JERKS who are unable to respect me.

[Crazy Hitch]

Just chilling.

[Fuzzybear]

That dentist said I had ********.

I did NOT.

What the hell is wrong with some people?

Sometimes I wonder who ''benefits'' from all the FEAR in the world

**** **** **** **** shyt shyt GRRRRRR

[Soupe du jour]

I'm meeting my brother at our dad's assisted living facility today. I saw my sister and nephew yesterday. Of course I will see all again at least one more time (hopefully more) before departure. It sounds like my sister and nephew are looking forward to visiting us in Czech Republic sometime after the covid 19 pandemic eases, significantly.

We'll do some more packing preparations today.

Our house buyer's mold inspector was a no-show the day before yesterday. The buyer and our realtor's colleague (our realtor is in Aruba) had to wait outside in the cold for over an hour to discover that. So, the buyer has hired a different inspector to come this Tuesday afternoon. I hope that works out. The realtor said we can stay at home during the inspection. I'm glad about that.

[MuddyBoots]

Trying so hard not to the flip the fck out right now!!! I LOST MY SOCKS in ANOTHER DIMENSION! THESE are very important socks!!! Don’t get me started on losing things in other dimensions. All the FCKING TIME!!!!! Trying to not so hard scream right now because of these REMLINS.

Am ditching therapy this week. I need mountain therapy more than psychotherapy with an imbecile who is a dozen levels below me.

STOP STEALING MY SOCKS!!!!! Some quantum tunneling shyt going on I’m done I’m teleporting to Earths core