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#126
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Hi wfc, it's good to see you. I'm so sorry to learn that you're so sick. It sounds miserable. I'm not sure there's much that more life-impairing than a splitting headache. I feel so bad for you. It frustrates me that getting covid test results has to take so long. I had surgery in May - I was required to take a covid test the day before. The result was ready in 6 hours. So it seems that if need be, the results can happen pretty fast. Anyway, please let us know how you're doing. ![]()
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![]() wildflowerchild25
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![]() Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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#127
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How cool! It's fun to know how solar lights function. Are they as bright as regular lights?
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#128
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Had a productive session with my wonderful therapist this afternoon, then an appt. with my pdoc. I'm doing best on my current meds than I've ever done, which is great - especially during this time of the year. She asked me if I'm having any suicidal thoughts. I told her that I do, sometimes, but won't act on them. Well, that's true. I'm sure I won't act on them. The truth, though, is that I'm having way too many sui thoughts, far more than I feel comfortable with. I think I am afraid to tell her, for fear she'll IP me. And what good would that do? Nothing.
I won't see her for 9 days. I'm kind-of kicking myself, wishing I would have been more assertive with her.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Fuzzybear, lightly toasted, Mountaindewed, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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#129
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![]() Last edited by Fuzzybear; Dec 10, 2020 at 08:14 PM. |
![]() *Beth*, Unrigged64072835
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#130
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I'm sorry about the sui thoughts, I can relate. ![]()
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![]() *Beth*
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![]() *Beth*
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#131
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Here is the blanket with the pink started- the last color. Next, a black edge is going around the whole thing. Then it's done!
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Last edited by Moose72; Dec 10, 2020 at 09:37 PM. |
![]() Fuzzybear, Mountaindewed, Soupe du jour, Unrigged64072835
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![]() *Beth*, lightly toasted, Mountaindewed, Soupe du jour
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#132
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Fuzzybear
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#133
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Fuzzybear
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![]() *Beth*
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#134
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Oh, wow! That is really pretty! The black sets the colors off so well.
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![]() Fuzzybear
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#135
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How many deleted posts tonight ... ugh
![]() ![]() Where did all those people who used to be here go? ![]()
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![]() *Beth*, Sunflower123
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![]() *Beth*
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#136
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Hopefully they’ll be back.
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![]() *Beth*, Fuzzybear
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#137
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![]() Fuzzybear, Sunflower123
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#138
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Trying to accept this illness....
Trying to start over learning how to function through depression... Trying to make a marriage work.... Trying to focus on one day at a time.... Trying not to worry so much... I just feel like the best thing in my life right now is my 2 year old..... and I’m petrified of not having her everyday.... I just hope life gets better. Hope is the only thing that keeps me going. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, daladico, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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![]() *Beth*, daladico
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#139
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I’m feeling increasingly weak and fatigued. It’s very difficult for me to be out of bed and moving around for more than a few minutes. I decided to make dinner last night so we could take a break from takeout and I was absolutely wiped out by the time I was done. I didn’t even do anything super complicated. At least it was tasty! I made a huge mess (Potato skins and chopped onion pieces everywhere!) but I just couldn’t clean it up. RS was of course willing to clean it up though. He’d be willing to cook too if he knew how lol. I tried to take my laundry downstairs but I was so worn out from just picking it up off the floor and putting it in my basket that I had RS do it instead. It’s awful. My head feels acceptable if I take a combination of Tylenol and Advil. We are going to go through a small drive through light show my town has and then do the traditional cruise through the neighborhoods looking at lights. I’ll be able to do that because it’s sitting down, but I told RS he would have to make dinner if that was our plan. Maybe I’ll be able to watch a Christmas movie too. It’s home alone season again!
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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![]() *Beth*
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#140
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Off work today and applying at a market in town about 40 miles away.
My typing is terrible right now. I make mistakes nearly every other word. I don't know what's going on. Maybe I need more coffee.
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![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Sunflower123
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#141
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Good luck, D!
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#142
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At this moment, I am sitting in a hair salon waiting for a color and cut. This will be my last before moving to Europe. I think the next time I will need my husband to join me to translate what I want.
The mold remidiation inspection is being done a little later. I hope I am not yet home until it's done, but it could be still happening. I'm very nervous about that, as I wrote yesterday. I will run an errand after my hair is done to take up more time. I hope my husband doesn't get argumentative with anyone. It's certainly possible. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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#143
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Possible trigger:
And I found a news site that shows only positive news stories from around the world called the good news network. World Archives - Good News Network So if you're looking for something positive in this depressing world there's some uplifting stories on there
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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![]() *Beth*, Nammu, Sunflower123
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#145
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What a day. I had group this morning. I was very active in it today. Not sure if I said the right things but I did talk quite a bit. Then for almost an hour after that I’ve been getting slammed with multiple calls and emails from nurses, Pdoc, and my case manager. I am so ready to be left alone for the weekend. I do feel like I’m getting the mental health help I need. I have no idea what’s going on with my physical health. My tremors in my hands are out of control and I couldn’t hang Christmas ornaments this morning because I was shaking so badly.
My mom and case manager are pretty sure my mental health issues are as a result of something physical. My mom said almost exactly what I said “your mental health doesn’t just get suddenly bad for no reason after being stable for so long” My primary thinks my kidney function are not making my psych meds work properly. Pdoc wants to talk to him before changing any of my meds. Regular T is still ignoring me and not helping out. My mom says she has her own set of issues and may feel responsible that I’ve gotten worse and not better while seeing her.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka Last edited by Mountaindewed; Dec 11, 2020 at 02:33 PM. |
![]() *Beth*, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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#146
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That site is like a breath of fresh air. Thanks for the link. |
![]() Blue_Bird
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![]() *Beth*, Blue_Bird
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#147
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The person (a family friend who loves decorating) that usually decorates our house for Christmas had other obligations this year so we have a Christmas wreath up only. My daughter said we’ll do it ourselves when she gets here Monday. That will be fun and interesting. I’ve never put up a tree. My daughter agreed to strictly limit her associations (only her father and step mom) so I feel slightly more relaxed.
Doing much better today. I hope everyone has a relaxing weekend. ![]() |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Unrigged64072835
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#148
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I deliberately stayed away from home for over 2 hours in order to 100% avoid the visit of the prospective new buyer with his mold remediation inspector. When I got home, I didn't see a truck in the driveway, so felt relieved. Then I go in and Hubby tells me that they are "running late". Almost 2 hours late? Then apparently the prospective buyer and realtor were still waiting outside for the inspector to arrive, but the inspector never did. So the stupid inspection has yet not happened. So we'll have to worry about this even longer.
I thought that with my kidney Doppler ultrasound I was done with tests for my nephrologist. But NOOOOOOOOOOOO. I finally get the letter from him that included my ultrasound script (that I ended up having to ask for via email), to find a blood test script. I just got stupid blood tests done literally 2 weeks ago. Now there are even more! I am not in a mental state to be having to worry about new physical health issues. I'm already worrying about our house having mold, moving to Europe, having to struggle to learn a new language, having to struggle in everyday life because of the language issues, etc. So I managed some luck (luck is rare, nowadays) to get a morning blood test appointment for tomorrow, but I have ZERO idea if it is a fasting blood test, or not. I guess I'll fast. I tried to call my nephrologist's office, but they seem to be done for the day before 3 pm on Fridays. One might suggest to call the phlebotomist operation, but talking to anyone there is an impossibility. So, I'll just go tomorrow (fasting) and that's that. Gotta confess that I've been swearing up a storm and yelling like a fish wife since getting home. I finally broke down and took an Ativan. I've really had it, and finally need a break! I've been a little triggered since yesterday. On my news feed, a photo of the actor Kenneth Branagh popped up. Whenever I see that actor's face, it spooks me a bit because he's almost a spitting image of my maternal uncle. I've been furious at the uncle for a long time now. Long story! I haven't seen or heard from him in five or more years. He used to live in the same exact town I live in, but then we heard nothing from him. He moved to Maine and didn't tell anyone in our family. Again, long story, but one that is saddening. Sad! Last edited by Soupe du jour; Dec 11, 2020 at 04:28 PM. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
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#149
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Right now my side and back pain are like an 8 and I have a high pain tolerance. According to my at home test it looks like I’m trying to pass a pretty big kidney stone. There’s just these like little white things which makes me think there’s something bigger there. I’m trying not to panic although I couldn’t eat dinner, not by choice, and I’m just lying in bed right now. I’m also pretty nauseated and I have that same leg cramp that I had last night. I ate though this morning and for lunch. So I’ve had food today.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
![]() *Beth*, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, yellow_fleurs
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#150
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~~~~~~~~~RAIN!!!~~~~~~~~~~ So needed
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![]() Anonymous45023, Sunflower123
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Closed Thread |
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