[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I'm so sorry Jennifer. Taking care of your mom and brother on top of your bipolar must be so hard. And not getting any help is awful. How long do your depressions usually last?

It can be days to weeks. That is a big improvement over months to years. Thank you for helping me realize that. I’ve got calls in to my therapist and NP to get this under control.

[Mountaindewed]

Lol. The realtor has been here for 2 hours. But I don’t see a car in the driveway. So maybe she’s waiting for a ride? That is really strange. It only took her 10 minutes to walk around the house. My aunt used her when my aunt was selling her house. So I know she’s legit.

Edit: ok now I’m convinced she’s waiting for a ride. I’d go down and ask but I’m super shy.

Edit again: yeah she was waiting for a ride. She was super pissed apparently at her boyfriend or whatever. My mom didn’t seem bothered or annoyed. My family and I don’t always see eye to eye on some things.

I now have bad nausea as usual. And a slight headache. I’m trying to get dinner in before I’m completely out of commission for the night. I’m trying to eat healthy for my physical health. Before it was just “whatever as long as I don’t eat a lot of anything.” Now I’m legit watching what I eat and I’m drinking a lot of Gatorade since I have been feeling lightheaded and dehydrated a lot of the time. Not sure if that’s my kidneys or what.

[*Beth*]

I'm having one of those days in which I feel like I'm not DOING enough. And whatever I do it's not enough, I need to be doing MORE. I'm referring to chores. For example, I'd like to vacuum then read a book. Instead I'm feeling like I have to vacuum, do something else, something else...leaves me feeling stressed and off-kilter. Plus I have an injured wrist that's hurting badly.

So. There's my Saturday vent

[*Beth*]

Well, it all turned out well. I vacuumed, read for a long while, went for a walk (something I have to discipline myself to do), read some more, washed the dishes, read some more, and so on. And giving my wrist something of a rest has helped. So did Advil. So I struck up a decent balance.

Today was my birthday. Because of a snowstorm a few days ago— it’s still impossible to go out or do anything so I didn’t celebrate today. I started a whole new chapter in my life, I left my “late twenties” and entered my 30s. I’m excited to be honest. There was a time in my life I never thought I’d even reach 30. It’s a milestone.

Maybe Monday I can order from a steakhouse and get a cake.

[Nammu]

Happy birthday Marcus!

Boy, this benzo taper really has me flattened. I worried that i would have trouble sleeping but exactly the opposite -- i'm having trouble with sedation. My doctor warned that the Valium is longer-acting than the Clonazepam. With Winter and COVID it's not a big problem tho. Spending quiet days inside is okay. I'm out almost everyday with my dog briefly. I'm even getting to enjoy staying home. Today i had some good Scrabble games using the easy method i went back to yesterday. There's no reason why this can't continue, tho lower in the taper it might be a different story.

@MarcusAurelius: H@pPy BiRtHd@Y!!! Welcome to your thirties!

[Soupe du jour]

@MarcusAurelius, happy belated birthday! The 30th is a significant one.

[~Christina]

Hi everyone !

We got loads of ice then lots of snow and then a bit of ice again. Finally got our internet back and running. I'm so very grateful our power stayed on.. The snow was wonderful, now snowball fight with the dogs they think we are thowing balls .. Funny to watch . Gus hops around like a bunny and bites the snow, He cant manage more than 5-mins max and hes shaking like a leaf so in he comes under my blanket to warm back up.

I have issues getting my meds due to this winter storm, My drug plan will only fill 3 days in advance, So between the ice storm and now we wont be able to get into town for at least 6 or more days.. My Doctors office has been closed all week due to that ice and snow. We seldom have this weather and our little town just doesnt have enough to do main roads let alone all us people way out from town.

Other wise .. I dont feel like Depakote is doing anything, but Zero side effects, Im sure the dose will increase soon.

My heart is breaking for Texas. They need help and they need it right now.

Everyone stay safe

[Sunflower123]

Thank you for the hugs, support and comments. It was greatly appreciated and very comforting.

Happy Birthday, Marcus!!

[Mountaindewed]

So far today I’m doing ok. I took 100 milligrams of Geodon at 4PM yesterday. Then my pain was really bad and I couldn’t get comfortable even with Tylenol so I took my AM dose at 10PM. I legit just wanted to be able to sleep. I probably should have gone with a single 5mil melatonin. I haven’t taken any Geodon since the one last night. I’ll wait until 4 to take it again. I took a super hot shower this morning and it felt so good. The water was practically scalding hot. Then I suddenly got really lightheaded and my heart started beating fast and I felt like I was going to throw up. So I had to get out. Probably was not the best idea. My heart has really been pounding since. I did have coffee though. Tomorrow I go for my CT scan. Luckily it isn’t at the hospital, just at a medical office that has those type of machines

[buddha1too]

I'm still doing very well after a long period of intense depression. Since I'm feeling stable, I'm not taking an AP (Vraylar) at the moment & I went off my AD (Trintellix). To be honest, I'm not sure how well ADs work on BP depression anyways. Vraylar is advertised as an effective treatment for BP depression, but my pdoc said that was just a way for them to sell more drugs. I'm guessing that sometimes all one can do is wait for the depression to lift on its own. For those of you currently experiencing depression, I hope that happens soon.

While there's a part of me that would like to go off meds altogether, I know that's been a disasterous decision in the past. I'll stay on my mood stabilizer (Depakote XR) in hopes that I'll be able to enjoy some long-term stability. It's good to feel in a nice space on a rare sunny, winter day. I'm still powerless over a lot of things...the past, current circumstances, etc., but I have to be grateful for days like today.

[Nammu]

The snow is coming down pretty good here again but we’re able to handle it. We have all the machines and various types of surface treatments. It’s not so cold this time. Only 2-4 inches but piled on top of what we already got. 🙄 but it’s nowhere near the disaster Texas has. I’m so glad I don’t live in Austin any more. Man they have it bad. People from here are going down to help.

I’m still la de la. I read here but can’t find the words to say much. Sometimes I can come up with a word or two in games but even there I’m often flummoxed.

[Soupe du jour]

The extreme amount of physical labor I've been doing, relating to our move-in, made me rather sick today. But I had to keep going. More had to be done! Last week Hubby arranged for a cleaning person to come tomorrow to help us get the place free of dust bunnies and filth. The whole move and handymen stuff can really pile in the dirt. Plus our move-in work. So we really wanted to get as many things in place, as possible. We did our best. No, it's not all ready. But yes, they can at least do something to help reduce the stress. They only charge 250 czk per hour (that's just under US $12 an hour). It will be more than worth it to us! Once the floors are finally really clean, we can put down our area rugs. Once they're down, I think the dust/dirt will be easier to manage.

Lately I've had trouble getting up by 8:30 am. Of course Hubby has the cleaners coming at 8 am. I had to set two alarms. I know in the morning I'll be suffering. For some reason my misery from the physical work is at its worst then.

[leomama]

Well I saw my psychiatrist on Friday and as of yet I have not gone back on medication.

[cogladaid]

Maybe I should post here more instead of the psychosis roll call. I never know where I fit in. I mean I was diagnosed bipolar 2 and a psychotic disorder years ago.

Anyway, I got a promotion at the beginning of the year and it sent me up up UP and then I had to talk to my doctor because I was getting psychotic thoughts and anyway I quickly went down down DOWN and then this past week I just snapped out of it, and today I barely slept and google says my searches are all actually psychotic thoughts and I feel very talkative and maybe my meds don't want to work anymore? I've been taking them as prescribed - promise!

So I just feel so chatty and google happy but I should be studying. Ha. I'm going to become a great math genius that's going to change the world!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

The extreme amount of physical labor I've been doing, relating to our move-in, made me rather sick today. But I had to keep going. More had to be done! Last week Hubby arranged for a cleaning person to come tomorrow to help us get the place free of dust bunnies and filth. The whole move and handymen stuff can really pile in the dirt. Plus our move-in work. So we really wanted to get as many things in place, as possible. We did our best. No, it's not all ready. But yes, they can at least do something to help reduce the stress. They only charge 250 czk per hour (that's just under US $12 an hour). It will be more than worth it to us! Once the floors are finally really clean, we can put down our area rugs. Once they're down, I think the dust/dirt will be easier to manage.

Lately I've had trouble getting up by 8:30 am. Of course Hubby has the cleaners coming at 8 am. I had to set two alarms. I know in the morning I'll be suffering. For some reason my misery from the physical work is at its worst then.

Just under $12 an hour.... Well worth the price!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by leomama

Well I saw my psychiatrist on Friday and as of yet I have not gone back on medication.

Is that your pdoc's choice or yours?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by cogladaid

Maybe I should post here more instead of the psychosis roll call. I never know where I fit in. I mean I was diagnosed bipolar 2 and a psychotic disorder years ago.

Anyway, I got a promotion at the beginning of the year and it sent me up up UP and then I had to talk to my doctor because I was getting psychotic thoughts and anyway I quickly went down down DOWN and then this past week I just snapped out of it, and today I barely slept and google says my searches are all actually psychotic thoughts and I feel very talkative and maybe my meds don't want to work anymore? I've been taking them as prescribed - promise!

So I just feel so chatty and google happy but I should be studying. Ha. I'm going to become a great math genius that's going to change the world!

Welcome to posting here! You can post both places; I occasionally post on other check-ins.

Will you be seeing your med prescriber any time soon?

[cogladaid]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Welcome to posting here! You can post both places; I occasionally post on other check-ins.

Will you be seeing your med prescriber any time soon?

Yeah I talk to him tomorrow! He’s a great doc I’ve been talking to him a lot lately because of my mood.

[Mountaindewed]

I took my Geodon for the first time in almost 21 hours. I wasn’t having a tough time without them. I was just getting kinda nauseated. I was worn out today but in good spirits and feeling positive about my move.

I actually see my gastro doctor next Friday. I thought I couldn’t get in until April. Maybe my primary was able to get me in sooner. I’m kinda worried the gastro doctor will want to do both an endoscopy and a colonoscopy. I worry about going under. It scares me and I always seem to get depressed afterwards. But at least the colonoscopy sounds like a possibility after this past week. I had one when I was 15 and they are a pain with that stuff you have to drink. When I was 15 though I wasn’t having the stuff I’m having or feeling now. It turned out to just be IBS. And all my other blood work and urine tests were normal back then unlike now. I for sure didn’t have the pain.

Tonight I may need a zofran but I think I get really tired the next day. I haven’t had one in several days. I haven’t quite figured it out though if they are the cause of my next day fatigue. I have a lot to do tomorrow that I can’t be exhausted for.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by MarcusAurelius

Today was my birthday. Because of a snowstorm a few days ago— it’s still impossible to go out or do anything so I didn’t celebrate today. I started a whole new chapter in my life, I left my “late twenties” and entered my 30s. I’m excited to be honest. There was a time in my life I never thought I’d even reach 30. It’s a milestone.

Maybe Monday I can order from a steakhouse and get a cake.

Ooh! Steak and cake! It even rhymes.

I will turn 49 next month. That's perilously close to 50! Seems I was just 30....

[leomama]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Welcome to posting here! You can post both places; I occasionally post on other check-ins.

Will you be seeing your med prescriber any time soon?

I’ve been here since 2014. I have weekly therapy sessions with my psychiatrist .

[Moose72]

I hope I can get up on time tomorrow because N3 has an eye appointment that I need to take him to. Its at 1030 which means I need to leave here by 930.
I took a shower this evening - I needed it and it will save time in the morning. I got a coffee from Tim Hortons on the way home from picking up N3 and S and dropping them home. It was 10 to 5 when I tried to order but they said sorry we are just about to close so we aren't serving food anymore! What?! That's just lazy! I got a coffee but I think that's so lazy of them. I put the coffee in the fridge so I can warm it up for tomorrow morning.

I drove to pick up N3 and S in the next big town over. It was just as well because I had fallen asleep and when N3 called it was 3-something. They gave me a slice of a caramel apple they'd gotten. It was tasty. We listened to my new CD all the way back (and I listened on the way there). N3 asked questions about who was singing. I love him for being interested in stuff like that! He could just as well have put in another CD or turned the radio on. Although I must say that sometimes he does change the CD I'm listening to but this was new so that's why he was interested, I think.