[Uykulu]

I woke up in bad mood .Yesterday I went out with my sister and a friend.We chatted.Our friend made my sister unhappy When he said something about my sister’s personal life and love life.He said you did wrong and you faced unpleasant things .ok he was thinking my sister but he has gone bit further and I didn’t interrupt enough.so I am feeling quilty even though he is good friend and don’t wanna harm my sister.I wouldnt let him make upset my sister.so I am upset today and I smoked today .I couldn’t tell this anyone .i tried to talk with my sister.she seems unhappy and I am unhappy.I love my sisters more than world but I feel I am weak when I feel bad I can’t read,I can’t watch tv series,do nothing.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I woke up so exhausted this morning that I declared I'd take a day off, finally. I mostly did. I'll admit when I was doing work today I sort of put on a sound of strain and exhaustion hoping that Hubby would get the message. He didn't. Oh well! Anyway, dinner will be microwaved leftovers.

This coming week, we will be contacting a prospective psychiatrist close to my home. My new therapist also recommended someone, but that psychiatrist works even further from my home than she is, which I find a bit far. I mentioned this to my new therapist, and she understood, and even asked the name of the other for any other English-speaking clients she gets. I'll provide it, if it works out, but not until I'm on that pdoc's calendar.

I'm not clicking with my current (new) therapist, and seemingly vice versa. I'm even wondering how much she can help me, or even how much help I really need. My concentration was mostly to be "adjustment" to my new country environment, but she made that seem like a five minute topic. I am already knowledgeable about CBT, DBT, and other coping skills. Not that I don't need reminders to use them, sometimes. Plus, she doesn't concentrate on CBT, more psychoanalysis, which I don't need. I could present "Myself" in an hour-long spiel and that would be that. I just think I need someone to chat with in a way I don't with Hubby. I sense that that's not what she's willing to accept. I'll give her another session, or two, before possibly quitting her. My mindset does change.

I sort of hope that my future psychiatrist can offer both med management and a teensy bit of therapy. That would be ideal! I've gotten that from my American psychiatrist in recent years. It made my American therapist less significant.

It seems to me that a therapist who has never lived in (or even visited) the States would be at least somewhat difficult for you to work with, especially since cultural adaptation is one of the issues you want to work with.

[*Beth*]

After a not very restful night's sleep I awoke feeling short-tempered - which can rapidly turn to irrational anger. I made myself take some deep breaths and wrapped myself in a "protective light." Then I decided to do a major, deep cleaning chore that needed to be done today. Finished by 9 a.m.! That gives me time to cook a beef and barley stew this afternoon.

Winter is gone, gone, and spring is certainly here. These are the nice days when I can open the windows wide and enjoy the breezes. I'm looking forward to more trees blooming. The time changes in TWO weeks!! Wild! So, yeah, time to enjoy the lovely weather...until late May, when the windows close, the a/c gets turned on along with our sweltering "dry heat."

I heard that it was 1 year ago this week that a national emergency (covid pandemic) was declared in the U.S. One year! It feels to me like it's been three years. Not having to wear a mask to the grocery store seems like a distant memory.

@Soupe du jour: You've been working so hard you certainly deserve a day off. Sorry your husband didn't pitch in when you sighed. Hope things click with the psychiatrist you meet with this week and that you can work it out with your therapist or find one more suitable. You're being really pro-active about finding mental health professionals and sooner or later you will find a team you like.

[~Christina]

Hi yaa everyome

I fell a week ago and hit my head hardon the dog crate, Steve feeds awful he didnt know, I sai i had anthining was bleeding I would have die . Today ois the first day I can thin k , Im still struggli e wiht rwading and spelling, The entire week I do not rem member since i fe l l .. I hav e A concussion , I need it to go awcy.

Hope everrone is doing okay .

Hugss toi a ll

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Hi yaa everyome

I fell a week ago and hit my head hardon the dog crate, Steve feeds awful he didnt know, I sai i had anthining was bleeding I would have die . Today ois the first day I can thin k , Im still struggli e wiht rwading and spelling, The entire week I do not rem member since i fe l l .. I hav e A concussion , I need it to go awcy.

Hope everrone is doing okay .

Hugss toi a ll

Oh, Christina . You are in my prayers. It's so good to hear from you.

[Mountaindewed]

To be honest I haven’t been S since I ended things with my therapist. And when I was seeing her through video sessions I was constantly S and thinking of SH. Theres been the depression about ending things but this weekend it hasn’t really been a problem. I didn’t know things were that bad with her and I felt such strong emotions because of it. Now I am actually looking forward to things like my move.

[Uykulu]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Hi yaa everyome

I fell a week ago and hit my head hardon the dog crate, Steve feeds awful he didnt know, I sai i had anthining was bleeding I would have die . Today ois the first day I can thin k , Im still struggli e wiht rwading and spelling, The entire week I do not rem member since i fe l l .. I hav e A concussion , I need it to go awcy.

Hope everrone is doing okay .

Hugss toi a ll

I hope you get better soon Christina

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Hi yaa everyome

I fell a week ago and hit my head hardon the dog crate, Steve feeds awful he didnt know, I sai i had anthining was bleeding I would have die . Today ois the first day I can thin k , Im still struggli e wiht rwading and spelling, The entire week I do not rem member since i fe l l .. I hav e A concussion , I need it to go awcy.

Hope everrone is doing okay .

Hugss toi a ll

Big hugs. I hope you are better soon.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Hi yaa everyome

I fell a week ago and hit my head hardon the dog crate, Steve feeds awful he didnt know, I sai i had anthining was bleeding I would have die . Today ois the first day I can thin k , Im still struggli e wiht rwading and spelling, The entire week I do not rem member since i fe l l .. I hav e A concussion , I need it to go awcy.

Hope everrone is doing okay .

Hugss toi a ll

doing ok.
hope you get back to normal asap.!!!!!
thank you for checking in, I have missed you.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

The dog-park is closed due to ice so i walked my dog twice (2X) today! I enjoyed it. I went out the second time because i was feeling so stale from binge-watching "Parks and Rec." It was refreshing! It gave me a break from this apartment and i got some fresh air. I'm sure my dog enjoyed it as well. I sure wish i would take up walking as a hobby. I'm huffing and puffing from the slightest exertion. Here's hoping!

It's Cut Day in my benzo taper today so i'll be down to 16mg of Valium. I felt less sedated today so hopefully it's having an effect. The time-change is coming up on next Sunday and warm weather (at least above freezing) is on the way so the stage is being set for my Spring hypomania. Or at least i will get an elevated mood like last year as COVID restrictions will probably prevent my mood from escalating to hypomania.

At any rate, things are looking up!

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Hi yaa everyome

I fell a week ago and hit my head hardon the dog crate, Steve feeds awful he didnt know, I sai i had anthining was bleeding I would have die . Today ois the first day I can thin k , Im still struggli e wiht rwading and spelling, The entire week I do not rem member since i fe l l .. I hav e A concussion , I need it to go awcy.

Hope everrone is doing okay .

Hugss toi a ll

Christina, this post is a lot different than you used to post. I hope the typing/writing/spelling things get better soon. That must've been aweful to hit your head! Many hugs for you!

[Victoria'smom]

Guys...Guys...I stayed home by myself for over an hour...AT night And I didn't freak out!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Congratulations MM! That's really great progress and I know it wasn't easy.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Guys...Guys...I stayed home by myself for over an hour...AT night And I didn't freak out!

That's GREAT!!!

[Mountaindewed]

I’m anxious. Again. It’s only noon and I’ve already had 2.5 mil of Xanax. I have a bad headache right now as well so I think this may be the last of my PMS. It should be over today. Today I got a call from my kidney doctor saying he had a cancellation for tomorrow morning. My original appointment was in April. I said I’d take it. It’s telehealth which is fine with me. I had to fill out some paperwork I assume I’ll fax over. I checked off quite a bit of the urinary and stomach symptoms. Also a few neurological ones like headaches and memory loss. I wonder if tomorrow he’ll tell me I’m eligible for the 16-65 with underlying health conditions vaccine group. I do plan on asking him. But today I’m headachy and anxious. This is the 3rd day in a row where my anxiety has been off. It’s kind of frustrating.

I wonder if I’m going through caffeine withdrawals. I’m trying to cut out coffee specifically but also ease up on soda as well. Mainly zero sugar stuff. I haven’t had any coffee in 4 days. Caffeine withdrawals could be a big part of it.

Also as my old T would say. sometimes you just feel crappy for no reason and you shouldn’t try to put a label on things all the time.

[*Beth*]

Last night I was desperate to sleep so took a full 25mg Seroquel (I usually take 12.5). Ugh, I did sleep pretty well but the hangover was hardly worth it. I awoke and felt like I couldn't get full breaths, it was creepy. Anyway, I slept it off and feel physically good now.

I want to take a drive (as soon as I receive the stimulus check to repair my car) to look at wildflowers. That would be about the first week in April. Right now the only wildflowers I see are the ones tattooed on my arms and leg

My recently-deceased friend C.'s very elderly mom is now hospitalized. Her prognosis is not looking good. Poor thing, to lose her daughter like she has. I remember my grandmother at my mom's funeral; my grandmother lived to be a very lucid 100 years old - but she had lost both of her children. Was it worth that to live 100 years? She grieved so much. When people say "I want to live to be a hundred!" I wonder if they really know what they're saying.

[Mountaindewed]

I have the absolute worst headache of my life. It feels like a block of ice is just sitting in the middle of my forehead. I have a temp of 99.4. I am very nauseated as well. I’m trying not to panic. My lungs feel funny when I breathe and my throat is sore but I thought it was just anxiety. Figures that it wasn’t anxiety if 2mil of Xanax didn’t help it. Man this sucks. I thought I couldn’t wake up all day Saturday because of my Geodon. Maybe it was because I was starting to get sick. At least if it is Covid my mom will be ok. I know I was at the doctors a week ago Friday. But besides that I’ve only been out maybe 3 times in the last week and no place was crowded and I’ve had a double mask everywhere.

[Moose72]

Great news! I don't know if anybody here knows that I drive a 1990 Toyota Camry. It's in good shape for its age but it needs a few things. I don't want to keep putting money into this car although in general it runs nicely. It is however needing an front end alignment and the rear defrost does not work nor do the emergency flashers. It doesn't have as much get up and go as it could either. Well I am getting a new car and selling this one! My daughter is buying a new car from the dealership she works at and I'm buying her lexus from her. It at least has air conditioning- my car does not!- and runs well. And N3 has a car he might buy - if he can pass the test to get his license! Anyway that's what my stimulus money is going toward. I've driven her car several times and its a very nice ride- its not new- its an older lexus but it runs well. That is one huge load off my shoulders! Just in time for spring! And my birthday which is this month

[Nammu]

Oh that’s great news moose. I had a chance to buy a (new to me) used car last year. It’s a relief, to have an updated car that runs and doesn’t constantly need this or that. And a Lexus, nice. Just took my car though the car wash. It’s lovely lovely weather here.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

Great news! I don't know if anybody here knows that I drive a 1990 Toyota Camry. It's in good shape for its age but it needs a few things. I don't want to keep putting money into this car although in general it runs nicely. It is however needing an front end alignment and the rear defrost does not work nor do the emergency flashers. It doesn't have as much get up and go as it could either. Well I am getting a new car and selling this one! My daughter is buying a new car from the dealership she works at and I'm buying her lexus from her. It at least has air conditioning- my car does not!- and runs well. And N3 has a car he might buy - if he can pass the test to get his license! Anyway that's what my stimulus money is going toward. I've driven her car several times and its a very nice ride- its not new- its an older lexus but it runs well. That is one huge load off my shoulders! Just in time for spring! And my birthday which is this month

Hurray! That is such FABULOUS news!!!!! And I've done the "no a/c" thing...NOT pleasant. Oh, I'm really happy for you, Moose

[*Beth*]

***I'm getting the first vaccine next Tuesday!*** I kept calling my clinic until they got tired of me and gave me a date. I'm a little nervous, but mostly excited! I'll think of it like getting a tattoo

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Oh that’s great news moose. I had a chance to buy a (new to me) used car last year. It’s a relief, to have an updated car that runs and doesn’t constantly need this or that. And a Lexus, nice. Just took my car though the car wash. It’s lovely lovely weather here.

Now my eldest wants to buy my car from me! I told her everything that's wrong with it and she still really wants it! I told her the price I'm asking and everything. I dont understand but she says it would make her so happy to have it!

Speaking of weather, its low 60's here today and tomorrow and the next day will be mid-60's. I sat out on my balcony for a while today.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Hurray! That is such FABULOUS news!!!!! And I've done the "no a/c" thing...NOT pleasant. Oh, I'm really happy for you, Moose

Me too! But now my eldest wants my current car! I told her everything that's wrong with it but she still wants it as she needs a second car. Guess we're keepin it in the family! Except that N3 wants a jeep that my mom's neighbor is selling.

I did my taxes today. I'm 54 and it's the first time i've done them myself. I got thru it! There were a few hiccups and a tense moment when it wouldn't file but i got thru all the obstacles. Best of all i got 50% more on my return than i was expecting! Yay! WOOHOO!!! I knew i'd had a good year because of not spending due to COVID restrictions but i didn't think it would be THAT good! HOORAY!!!

I fell when i was out walking and it must have looked spectacular because a guy stopped his car to ask if i was all right. A young lady passer-by asked too. It was nice to have their concern and i am fine. The nice weather starts tomorrow and not a moment too soon!

My first night on 16mg of Valium was a little rocky but nothing i couldn't handle.

Enjoying "Parks and Rec."

Hugs to all!