[251turnaround]

It's that age-old question again and I still can never answer it for sure. I've been doing so well for the past few months. My depression is gone, I'm content with everything and even my worst triggers just seem to bounce off of me now. I can't recall any period of time in the past five or six years where my mood has been so consistently upbeat for the most part. My brain is working at full capacity and I feel unrestricted to a degree. Where I used to have difficulty grabbing thoughts and ideas for writing, it all seems to come to me so easily now. My room is always clean and the laundry is always done on time and put away. The whole day-to-day functioning deal. It's nice.

What isn't nice is waking up at 2-3AM with four or five hours of sleep every single day for weeks or months now. I realize it's weird to be functioning so well on so little sleep but I am managing despite it.

I have been going in and out of these really elevated states that last a couple weeks or so before coming down to this elevated baseline where I remain until the next wave comes. I was at times by all accounts hypomanic as heck during those periods, but it seems the craziness has subsided. I'm not hearing voices or having three-way conversations with myself anymore, but I'm still alternating between good and wow, really good! with about thirty cumulative minutes of being upset throughout the several weeks of elevation.

All that aside, I feel like a normal person right now if anything. I can do everything I need to do and I know if I could sleep more than four hours I could probably do a lot more. My thoughts aren't really fast or anything but I still feel much more creative than usual like I was given a brain decongestant.

I don't know what I'm trying to get out of this post. I'm more inclined to believe my self-doubts just because of how normal I feel and how I'm functioning.

Thanks!

[*Beth*]

Hi 251turnaround, How many hours of sleep do you usually need (when you're feeling completely stable)? Also, are you on any meds for sleep?

[251turnaround]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Hi 251turnaround, How many hours of sleep do you usually need (when you're feeling completely stable? Also, are you on any meds for sleep?

Hi!

Well, at my typical baseline I generally get around 7-9 hours of sleep each night. This changed back in the fall when my sleep started decreasing and I began feeling a lot better overall. I take trazodone for sleep, but it doesn't seem to do well enough of a job. I'm even keeping a consistent sleep schedule with quiet time before going to bed. I just wake up restless and uncomfortable before giving up on sleep and starting the day like normal.

[*Beth*]

Yeah, that's quite a shift in number of hours you're sleeping. Maybe you're in a hypomanic episode. If it isn't accelerating, are you okay with it, or do you feel that becoming manic is inevitable?

[MickeyCheeky]

i'd say definitely keep an eye on your behavior and perhaps ask to other people to check out on you if needed as well. i agree with the wise and wonderful BethRags as well. Please do keep us updated and sorry if my post wasn't particularly helpful to you. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @251turnaround, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[251turnaround]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Yeah, that's quite a shift in number of hours you're sleeping. Maybe you're in a hypomanic episode. If it isn't accelerating, are you okay with it, or do you feel that becoming manic is inevitable?

I'm certainly not as hypomanic as I was last month when my brain was like chaos manifest. I was really starting to slip then, but then I came down for some time. Not enough to have an impact on my sleep, though. At no point in the past several months have I felt depressed in the traditional sense. I really want to be able to celebrate this because it is a massive accomplishment for me to be doing so well for so long, let alone my lack of hospitalizations in the past year.

I don't usually have hypomanic episodes persist for so long; on the order of several months. It doesn't seem to be destabilizing and I'm functioning quite well. I have a solid support system that can tell me when things are getting a bit much (as it often does because I don't stop talking).

[*Beth*]

Of course I can't tell you if you're stable or not, but it sounds to me like you're doing well. I know that it's difficult for most of us with BD to tell the difference between "stable" and "am I getting manic"...which is the *real* me?

[Soupe du jour]

What MickeyCheeky wrote is what came to my mind before reading other posts. I rely a lot on my husband to spot issues for me.

I have had periods quite like yours where I felt and performed very well, but had only 4 to 5 hours sleep. At that time I felt perfectly good with that amount of sleep, but my psychiatrist did want to monitor me closely during that period. He knew that I was reluctant to give up my "feeling great period", but knew it could escalate suddenly/quickly. He let me ride the wave for a bit, but eventually a small increase in a medication was a good idea. Nothing drastic was needed. For me, in such cases, a simple 50 mg increase in my Seroquel XR can do wonders without dragging me down. The same goes for 50 mg decreases, when needed. Only when my mood notably escalates or de-escalates does he do a bigger change.

[busymomof5]

I have been feeling good for around 3 months. There have been periods where I might have been hypomanic, but I’m just taking it all in stride. I have sleep difficulties regardless of mood state, so for me, that would be less concerning. Honestly, I’d say monitor it but enjoy feeling good. I know I can get into pathologizing my moods, especially when I feel good, and it sort of takes away from the positive for me. Obviously though, if you are truly concerned, call your doctor.