[Bipolarchic14]

It’s embarrassing. I can’t even admit the degree of my angry and how violent I feel inside. I feel trapped by it. I also had a horrible session with my therapist today Which left me feeling even worse. She was close to 15 minutes late and ended session on time. Did not even give me a good explanation. Then I found out her viewpoints politically are far different. Then she told me to call her if I need to and said that she thinks I’m having a bad time. She supposed to be teaching me not to have to go to her. I’m so angry with everything in the world and I’m tired of being paranoid about everything. I just hate everyone and everything so much right now.

[*Beth*]

I've certainly been there

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry that you're feeling angry. It can happen sometimes and perhaps the best thing to do is to do something else to keep your mind occupied, such as watching some movies or reading or playing some games. Hopefully this feeling will pass. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Bipolarchic14, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keepr ocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[wolftrap]

((((((hugs))))))

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

It’s embarrassing. I can’t even admit the degree of my angry and how violent I feel inside. I feel trapped by it. I also had a horrible session with my therapist today Which left me feeling even worse. She was close to 15 minutes late and ended session on time. Did not even give me a good explanation. Then I found out her viewpoints politically are far different. Then she told me to call her if I need to and said that she thinks I’m having a bad time. She supposed to be teaching me not to have to go to her. I’m so angry with everything in the world and I’m tired of being paranoid about everything. I just hate everyone and everything so much right now.

Being short changed by a doctor or therapist would have angered me, too, if I was in need to really talk. If she does that again, you might consider mentioning it as not being a one-off.

It's not my norm, but I have had such bouts of inner fury throughout my life. It's all been mostly in my head. Daydreams of violence or homicidal ideations that would never become reality. Though at times the fury would show on my face or I'd even grunt/roar or swing my arms, violently. I never struck any person or animal, but have struck myself or punched or threw things. My husband talks to his therapist about such thoughts, too. I do not believe it is uncommon. How many times have people here wished they could ram a car in front of them? More than you think!

My anger has mostly exploded from my mouth, throughout my life, not my body. That can also create great harm.

[MuddyBoots]

Is there anything you can do to release that anger? Journaling or scribbling and ripping the paper up or burning it? Sprints? Go to a remote area and scream?
It might be a good idea to practice being calmly assertive with your therapist (when I know a conversation is going to anger me I "practice" it until the emotions don't show in the form of extremes) and during your next session bring it up.
I hope you get to a more peaceful place soon

[Bipolarchic14]

I am exercising more to get some of that agitation out and I think I am going to start writing.

[Nammu]

Certainly been there a few times. Meds helped, so did getting enough sleep.

[*Beth*]

Anger/rage has traditionally been a major way mania manifests for me. I'm sure there's a healthy dose of the effects of having grown up in a very violent home, too. I was arrested once for raging, I've broken more things than I can count. One thing I'll say is that I have never, under any conditions, lost my patience with a child or animal. That will never happen.

Medication and therapy have helped me/are helping me to learn to control my anger when it becomes unreasonable.

violent thoughts suck.

I also go their on a daily bases