[Mountaindewed]

We got a signed contract on our house this morning. It’s above listing price and has some other good stuff. Good closing dates and stuff. Now I’m at the town I’m moving to. I disinfected the entire hotel room with my bottle of Clorox wipes. I brought my own blanket and my own pillowcase and an unopened bottle of hand sanitizer and a couple little bottles for the trips out of the hotel. So far I feel pretty safe. We do not plan on eating out at restaurants but will bring food back to the hotel although we are hoping my sister will let us hang out sometime. They are being weird now for some reason. We may stay until Monday. I am always prepared for things like this since I used to take trips a lot before the pandemic, so this morning I just threw all my med bottles into my back pack. So I’m good if we have to stay.

I’m going to call my surgeon on Monday to set up that work I’m having done on my chest. I hope it won’t be too much of a problem. Any of it. Setting the appointment up, the procedure itself, and recovery.

I also drove by new T’s office. I don’t really have the time to think about old T today. Even about the Facebook stuff.

Edit: Kinda creeped out right now. Plus the realtor screwed up and we are only looking at 3 houses all weekend. So we will most likely have to come back. Plus it’s not exactly easy to just run over and look at a house when I live out of state. I brought my unisom so I’m hoping it works. My charger isn’t working and my phone is low. I have the actual physical alarm set for early. I wanted my white noise on though.

But every time a door closes it scares me. Hotel doors are loud. I have my door double locked and I’m used to this hotel chain. I’m just creeped out in general. But thank god my old therapist is out of my mind. At least when I’m up here.

Someone asked me if if I was my moms grandson. I don’t know how my mom felt but I was super glad I passed as a guy today. I’ve been really stressing about that.

[Uykulu]

I painted today.I have to write a petition and go outside and give it on Monday I don’t have strength whatever I don’t have to think it now. I wanna have good time on weekend

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Uykulu

I painted today.I have to write a petition and go outside and give it on Monday I don’t have strength whatever I don’t have to think it now. I wanna have good time on weekend

What do you paint, in general?

[gina_re]

Today was good. I was by myself the entire day today at work. I got thru it just fine. Nothing exciting to report tho..

[Moose72]

Update: I ended up napping- for 2 1/2 hours! I hope I can sleep tonight. I am feeling dehydrated and I think its the amount of coffee I drink. I'm going to quit until after my eye dr appointment. i wake up with an extremely dry mouth some mornings. I guess I breathe through my mouth- even when my nose is clear! I've been drinking water like a fish this evening and my pee is clear but I still feel dry. I'm afraid my eyes will be too dry to wear contacts! I really want to get IV fluids but I don't know how to go about that. Guess I can call my primary doc. One of my friends suggested maybe its from early menopause but I don't have issues with sex- at least not last time/in the past. I really want to be able to wear contacts! I might try gatorade. I'm. Definitely going to keep up the water and call my primary doc on Monday.

I had a quiet day. I went in the ZOOM Drop-In and had a nice time talking about how we all like hotel rooms and room service and hate camping. Unfortunately i stubbed my toe last night and it's painful and blue and black and swollen so i couldn't walk today even tho it was raining and i find walks with my dog in the rain so romantic. My toe's improved a lot today so hopefully we'll get out tomorrow. I found out about two more ZOOM support groups i can go in. I also found out my ZOOM Drop-In will continue even when COVID is over as there is such a resoundingly positive reaction to it. I like it because i like my personal space and in the physical drop-in it's quite cramped. So i'm overjoyed to hear about that!

@buddha1too: Thanks for the kind words but i tend to go thru periods of intense self-improvement when my mood is up in the Spring and Fall and periods of languishing when my mood is down in the Summer and Winter so while i welcome your positive comments i must warn you not to get too excited because it's just temporary.

Hugs to all!

[Uykulu]

Originally Posted by BethRags

What do you paint, in general?

I painted my avatar photo yesterday.I painted my profile picture .In general I paint with watercolour paint or oil paint,I paint my friends portraits,make famous painting’s reproductions or paint impressions of me , paint my sorrows and naturemort,and I paint things my friends and my sisters value I paint as a present and sometimes I impressed by a painter ,I paint like them Ps:1sorry for my English 2:thanks for your interest,Hugs

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Uykulu

I painted my avatar photo yesterday.I painted my profile picture .In general I paint with watercolour paint or oil paint,I paint my friends portraits,make famous painting’s reproductions or paint impressions of me , paint my sorrows and naturemort,and I paint things my friends and my sisters value I paint as a present and sometimes I impressed by a painter ,I paint like them Ps:1sorry for my English 2:thanks for your interest,Hugs

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Uykulu

I painted my avatar photo yesterday.I painted my profile picture .In general I paint with watercolour paint or oil paint,I paint my friends portraits,make famous painting’s reproductions or paint impressions of me , paint my sorrows and naturemort,and I paint things my friends and my sisters value I paint as a present and sometimes I impressed by a painter ,I paint like them Ps:1sorry for my English 2:thanks for your interest,Hugs

Your paintings are amazing! You have great talent, Uykulu. Have you ever had an exhibition of your art? You certainly should.

[Soupe du jour]

I woke up in the wee hours of the morning last night sweating with my heart racing. I felt a little better later, but now have a feeling of malaise and a bit of anxiety again. It's hard to know why or how quickly it will pass. Related to my Klonopin discontinuation? Or just something else? I truly wish I'd start feeling reliably better again. I have a lot I need to do to adjust to my new home. Everything (obviously including the pandemic) makes things hard. I don't want to take an Ativan, but will take half of a pill, if needed.

I don't feel like cooking dinner. Hubby never cooks. If I declare it a "Fend for yourself night" the inevitable will happen. That's if I get myself something he'll be sniffing around suddenly wanting some. It's almost like I wish I could grab something when he's in the bathroom and be done with it.

[Uykulu]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Your paintings are amazing! You have great talent, Uykulu. Have you ever had an exhibition of your art? You certainly should.

Thank you so much 😊 ❤️I haven’t had an exhibition yet .Hugs😍

[Mountaindewed]

I saw one house today. It had 4 bedrooms and 3 full baths. A nice open kitchen. The stairs were a bit iffy. You saw them as soon as you walked into the house and they were narrow. The location was great. We put in a very good cash offer way above listing price and still lost it. This is the worst market. So we have another showing at 2:30 then one tomorrow. My very autistic brother is having a full blown melt down over this move and he’s scaring the real estate agent and making me anxious. I am worried he is going to snap and end up in the hospital as a result of a nervous breakdown. I’m staying calm but my mom is being really patient and understanding with him but all I asked was to go to Jimmy Johns, since you know, we need to eat, and she snapped at me. It all seemed really unfair. I felt like she was taking her frustration out on me. Anyways I’m back at the hotel in my own room away from both of them. But if I were to get Covid it would be right now. I’m in a hotel, I’ve been to a gas station twice, I’ve been to 2 crowded grocery stores. My brother would never survive Covid. I think he’d just shut down because of how stressed he is over the move. I am incredibly low on Xanax but I offered one to him because his behavior is freaking me out but he said no. I’m still trying to get my mom to give him one.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

I woke up in the wee hours of the morning last night sweating with my heart racing. I felt a little better later, but now have a feeling of malaise and a bit of anxiety again. It's hard to know why or how quickly it will pass. Related to my Klonopin discontinuation? Or just something else? I truly wish I'd start feeling reliably better again. I have a lot I need to do to adjust to my new home. Everything (obviously including the pandemic) makes things hard. I don't want to take an Ativan, but will take half of a pill, if needed.

I don't feel like cooking dinner. Hubby never cooks. If I declare it a "Fend for yourself night" the inevitable will happen. That's if I get myself something he'll be sniffing around suddenly wanting some. It's almost like I wish I could grab something when he's in the bathroom and be done with it.

That heart racing experience sounds unnerving. Could certainly be K-pin discontinuation. Anything and everything goes when it comes to benzo withdrawal. I'm all for taking 1/2 a pill of Ativan, if you need to.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I saw one house today. It had 4 bedrooms and 3 full baths. A nice open kitchen. The stairs were a bit iffy. You saw them as soon as you walked into the house and they were narrow. The location was great. We put in a very good cash offer way above listing price and still lost it. This is the worst market. So we have another showing at 2:30 then one tomorrow. My very autistic brother is having a full blown melt down over this move and he’s scaring the real estate agent and making me anxious. I am worried he is going to snap and end up in the hospital as a result of a nervous breakdown. I’m staying calm but my mom is being really patient and understanding with him but all I asked was to go to Jimmy Johns, since you know, we need to eat, and she snapped at me. It all seemed really unfair. I felt like she was taking her frustration out on me. Anyways I’m back at the hotel in my own room away from both of them. But if I were to get Covid it would be right now. I’m in a hotel, I’ve been to a gas station twice, I’ve been to 2 crowded grocery stores. My brother would never survive Covid. I think he’d just shut down because of how stressed he is over the move. I am incredibly low on Xanax but I offered one to him because his behavior is freaking me out but he said no. I’m still trying to get my mom to give him one.

Everyone here in California can start getting vaccinated on April 1st. When can you get vaccinated?

[*Beth*]

Last night I took 50mg. of Pristiq (in addition to my other meds, including Wellbutrin). Of course, today I feel like I'm closer to approaching stable. What a relief! Sometimes I just want to go IP so desperately, but there's simply no one to care for my cats.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Everyone here in California can start getting vaccinated on April 1st. When can you get vaccinated?

Starting April 12th. It will probably be tough to get an appointment though. But I’ll be trying nonstop. I really am hoping I can get the J&J one. My brother in law got a fever, chills, and muscle aches with his second moderna. The side effects just freak me out.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Starting April 12th. It will probably be tough to get an appointment though. But I’ll be trying nonstop. I really am hoping I can get the J&J one. My brother in law got a fever, chills, and muscle aches with his second moderna. The side effects just freak me out.

Yay! Be very persistent, as you say!

[downersgoup]

I finally quit smoking weed three weeks ago, and about a week and a half into that I spiraled into one of the worst depressive episodes I've had in a while. I slept for 15 hours straight the other day. I'm able to do little things here and there, like journal or work on my book, but right now feeling pretty solidly anhedonic. I'm moving an appointment with my psych up a few weeks, but yeah. Just had three days off from my very physical job, and spent most of it crying and staring blankly. Just need to vent on here a little to you all, because I know you all understand.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

Starting April 12th. It will probably be tough to get an appointment though. But I’ll be trying nonstop. I really am hoping I can get the J&J one. My brother in law got a fever, chills, and muscle aches with his second moderna. The side effects just freak me out.

Have you tried getting on a "waste list"? I got mine a few weeks early that way. You just find the sites offering vaccines in your area (my state offers a map or you could call around blindly to pharmacies) and call them and ask if they are doing a "waste list". Many/most are and they will call you if they are going to have vaccine left at the end of the day that they'd have to throw out. I spent 45 minutes calling and filling out a simple spreadsheet I made for tracking and got a shot the next day. I did tell them I wasn't in an approved group yet but that didn't matter. So I'm about 2 weeks ahead of my age group in my state. And it feels SO GOOD to be halfway done. 4 more weeks and I can hug my nieces.

[Sunflower123]

We survived the storms intact and I’ve had a lovely visit with my daughter. She’s up at her Dad’s now but I’ll see her again tomorrow before she leaves. It’s true, her visits do me a world of good.

I’m getting my second vaccine Tuesday. I feel so relieved. It was more difficult to schedule. It’s at a new place that I’m not familiar with so there is a little anxiety there but mom is going with me so that’s good. I hope there are no side effects because mom’s eye surgery is a day and a half later and I need to be on my toes.

Great news! I start PT for my back Monday. I’m going to get this bad boy squared away and move on with my life.

Very tired today and dragging but mentally in good shape.

[gina_re]

I'm kinda in a crappy mood. I don't feel like doing anything. I didn't wake up until after 11, then ate breakfast. I drank caffeine to try and keep myself up so I can get some reading done for school. But then I said f it and decided to lay down and watch tv instead. I eventually fell asleep and woke up about 30 min ago. Idk what to do with myself now. I know I need to get this reading done, but I'm just not in the mood. So that just means I'll be scrambling tomorrow to get my assignment completed on time. I did force myself to do a load of laundry that needed to be done last week. I'm gonna be so busy tomorrow bc I'm too lazy/annoyed to do anything but lay on the couch today. Maybe I'll call my sis and hopefully get to talk to the kids, they always lift my spirit.

[Soupe du jour]

Jennifer, I'm glad you had a pleasant visit with your daughter and see her again tomorrow. Congrats on getting your second vaccine tomorrow.

gina_re, I totally understand periods like you describe. I hope you get most of your assignment done before the end of the day. When I am in your situation, nowadays, I find that putting tasks on a calendar helps. I also then create a reward plan for accomplishing tasks. As for breakfasts, one thing that motivates me to get up early is a special breakfast food. It's actually my favorite meal so I treat myself. I'm usually too tired to make anything major from scratch, so I prep things the night before or buy myself a morning goodie that is already prepped.

Tomorrow is actually DST in Czech Republic. Two weeks after DST in the US. Now I'll be 6 hours ahead of NYC time again, instead of 5. I'm up quite late tonight, compared to usual. With DST tomorrow, it's really late. I did take my evening medications a couple hours ago. Hubby has some music videos playing on the TV. A old dance song "Rhythm of the Night" by Corona just played.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by downersgoup

I finally quit smoking weed three weeks ago, and about a week and a half into that I spiraled into one of the worst depressive episodes I've had in a while. I slept for 15 hours straight the other day. I'm able to do little things here and there, like journal or work on my book, but right now feeling pretty solidly anhedonic. I'm moving an appointment with my psych up a few weeks, but yeah. Just had three days off from my very physical job, and spent most of it crying and staring blankly. Just need to vent on here a little to you all, because I know you all understand.

Yes, we do understand. All too well. I'm glad you posted, downersgroup. Definitely see your pdoc as soon as possible

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

We survived the storms intact and I’ve had a lovely visit with my daughter. She’s up at her Dad’s now but I’ll see her again tomorrow before she leaves. It’s true, her visits do me a world of good.

I’m getting my second vaccine Tuesday. I feel so relieved. It was more difficult to schedule. It’s at a new place that I’m not familiar with so there is a little anxiety there but mom is going with me so that’s good. I hope there are no side effects because mom’s eye surgery is a day and a half later and I need to be on my toes.

Great news! I start PT for my back Monday. I’m going to get this bad boy squared away and move on with my life.

Very tired today and dragging but mentally in good shape.

I'm so glad you came through the storms okay! I was thinking about you. How wonderful that your daughter is a natural mood elevator for you.

[gina_re]

Random vent...
I hate not being able to snack and eat whenever I want. I got invisalign a couple of weeks ago and I definitely have to be strategic about when I eat so that I keep them in as long as I'm supposed to.