[Victoria'smom]

@BethRags He is going to drive me. He can't go into the building with me. My husband put some music on my phone for me and my headphones will be charged. So I'll have music and coloring to occupy me while waiting. So I'm going to sit with my back to the wall, head phones around my neck, coloring. It'll look weird, my music may bother people if they sit to close to me but anything to get through this safely. I'm not brining a drink with me (usually I bring a cold drink to calm myself and think before answering tough questions) but I need to be fasting for blood work. It's not till 2 so I'll update after.

Well it was moved to Friday.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

N3 is in Utah still. Look what he picked up. He said it blew right to him!

~~~~~~~~

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

... I've been out so little in the last 13 months that everything is overstimulating. I'll have to work on that now that I'm fully vaccinated.

I'm having the same experience. I've become somewhat agorophobic after being on lockdown for over a year. I figure going out and talking with people needs to be done in slow doses. Baby steps until I feel fairly "normal" again.

[Moose72]

I had a dream last night that my teeth were all very loose and about to fall out!

[gina_re]

Hey everyone
Sorry I've been m.i.a. lately. Between work, school and family...I've just been pulled in all directions. At any rate, I'm wondering if any of you have had this feeling. I feel like I'm depressed, but because I'm on a hefty cocktail, I'm still able to function and continue on with life. But deep down I'm just not happy and would rather crawl into a hole and disappear. Does this make sense?

[wildflowerchild25]

Pdoc wasn’t really helpful. She said I could take an extra 25mg of seroquel in the AM and then when I get home from work to calm the agitation. But I’m too afraid to take 25mg in the AM. It’s very sedating for me and I don’t want to be falling asleep on the road or at work. Then when I get home I have **** to do. Like make dinner and ****. RS can’t cook very well. I mean some days when I take the 50mg to sleep at night within an hour I’m slurring my words.

I feel like my chest is caving in on me and voices (real ones, other people’s) are hurting my head and I just want to grab my ears and cry.

[Scooter9]

My wife and I got our first covid vaccine today. We got the Pfizer shot.

The province was cancelling appointments for some of our friends so we weren't sure we'd get ours, but things went off without a hitch!

Even though I continue to feel low overall, I'm glad this is done now. Our next appointment is in August. We wait 4 months between doses here.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by gina_re

Hey everyone
Sorry I've been m.i.a. lately. Between work, school and family...I've just been pulled in all directions. At any rate, I'm wondering if any of you have had this feeling. I feel like I'm depressed, but because I'm on a hefty cocktail, I'm still able to function and continue on with life. But deep down I'm just not happy and would rather crawl into a hole and disappear. Does this make sense?

Yes! I have that feeling way too much. It scares me, because I think, "Is this what 'treatment-resistent depression' means?" Does it mean that deep inside, the depression is still there, but meds are like a Bandaid?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Pdoc wasn’t really helpful. She said I could take an extra 25mg of seroquel in the AM and then when I get home from work to calm the agitation. But I’m too afraid to take 25mg in the AM. It’s very sedating for me and I don’t want to be falling asleep on the road or at work. Then when I get home I have **** to do. Like make dinner and ****. RS can’t cook very well. I mean some days when I take the 50mg to sleep at night within an hour I’m slurring my words.

I feel like my chest is caving in on me and voices (real ones, other people’s) are hurting my head and I just want to grab my ears and cry.

Wow. That's not helpful at all! All 25mg will do is make you extremely tired.

I just had the best ZOOM drop-in ever! We laughed and laughed! There was an old friend there so it was nice to see him too. He's so busy, i don't think he ever sleeps!

I really needed it because my dentist appointment earlier in the afternoon was a major bust. The dentist is new to me, this was only the second time i've seen her. She's a brand new dentist, just graduated. She had planned to do a procedure but said she had talked it over with her colleagues and decided i should see a specialist first. She also showed that she hadn't read my file thoroughly at first as she was surprised to read i'm a nervous patient due to bad experience.

So she seemed very inexperienced and uncertain and indecisive today and i no longer have confidence in her. She didn't charge me for the consult and apologized for bringing me in for nothing. She did try a temporary measure of painting a coating on my sensitive teeth to see if that will help and for how long. I'll try eating raspberries tomorrow to test it out, i can't wait! I might be able to get along with quarterly application of the coating and a bite block for night.

Also, they did a 360 degree X-ray that i was overdue for. So i guess we got a few things done that couldn't have been handled over the phone. I highly doubt i'll see the specialist as my bad experience was at the hands of a dental specialist. I've had enough. My sensitive teeth limit my diet and cause pain twinges but i'm not having some complete overhaul like six crowns just for that. I mainly wanted to know if the pain twinges were cavities that would cause catastrophic pain if left to fester. Now that i know they are not i'm not too concerned about them.

I was so glad to get home and curl up on the sofa with my dog. She's such a comfort!

[*Beth*]

I'm applauding the outcome of the trial because I believe it is a fair outcome.

[Sunflower123]

I did laundry, cleaned out my car so it could be detailed, showered and walked in the park then completed PT - all without pain! I was really sweating it thinking I might not be able to go to my daughter’s graduation. It would have broken my heart.

I felt confident booking a hotel room considering the above. I got a superior king for two days for $127.17 since I am a loyalty customer. I consider that a sign that I’m meant to go. Next up, getting a gift.

I slept from 10-8:30 last night! It was greatly appreciated. I usually get 3-5 hours. Hallelujah!

I have been busy with everything beyond my capabilities really but then I did ask to move up to the next level of growth and recovery. I’ll adjust. Just a little stressed now.

Hugs to all.

[gina_re]

Well my mood tanked on the way home. All I could think about is how lonely I am and how nobody wants to talk to me. And even if they do, they eventually stop for whatever reason.

Possible trigger:

And all I can think about is how I wish my hypertension and high cholesterol will just kill me already.

I can't anymore ... the tears won't stop..

[Moose72]

Didn't do much today except watch it SNOW! It's been snowing all day and into tomorrow! What the...? I'm going to have to brush off my car- just as long as I don't have to scrape it! We shall see. And I thought we were done with this weather!

I've been good about using the drops 3x a day and with practice now I can get the drops to go in my eyes instead of above or below.

Tomorrow I need to go grocery shopping, do some laundry, take a shower, pick up a bit around here- probably take out the garbage... Oh! And my friend wants me to read something she is writing about what occupational therapy is. (She's studying to do that.)

My eyes feel better now that I've been using the drops. They're not red or goopy or itchy anymore! Still have to take them until I see the eye doctor again next Monday.

Oh and I was extra lazy today- I took a 2-hour nap! I hope I can get everything done tomorrow! I dreamed that my teeth were very loose and almost going to fall out! That's a common pregnancy dream- but I'm not pregnant. Is there such a thing as menopause dreams?

Pic attached = my apartment complex with snow covering everything.

[Nammu]

Hey Buddha hosed your vaccination go?

[buddha1too]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Hey Buddha hosed your vaccination go?

Thanks so much for asking, @Nammu! I was tired & achy today, but nothing I couldn't handle. At least I got some sleep! Some say it's a good sign when you have a reaction to the vaccine. I'm two weeks away from being good to go, now.

[~Christina]

OK I caught up !!!!!

I seriously keep losing days.. Since all my CT and Brain MRI's are clear.. My T thinks its because I am only on Lamictal. I have no desire to hop on any psych meds right now. So I'm white knuckling it riding the wave.

My Cardiologist appt went well, I really like him. He said he feels its orthostatic Hypotension. Im getting blood work in a few hours, A cortisol blood test then a Cortisol simulation then retest blood in one hour.. I dunno I just want some damn answers. My husband and I have now gotten both Moderna shots. I am so glad that is out of the way.

I have read this thread and got up to date...

I am sorry for everyone that is struggling, I hope that life eases a little each day. When was the last time you did something just for yourself??? In the past I splurged on a fancy cupcake, pedicure or took 20.00 to a everything is a dollar store ?? I think sometimes we just need to do something for ourselves

Love and Hugs to all

[Soupe du jour]

Christina, I'm glad to read that your brain scans are clear. I hope you can get to the bottom of your cognitive issues, and that you will increase your heart health.

Hubby and I couldn't stand being at home any longer yesterday, so we went on a day road trip. We are really not supposed to be leaving the area (because of pandemic restrictions), but we took our chances. We drove south. At one point we were on the border between Czech Rep. and Slovak Rep. In another town we were only 7 miles (15 min drive) from the Austrian border. The weather was better down there, and we had a lovely walk. We visited an UNESCO World Heritage site in Lednice. There is a castle and beautiful grounds there. Some photos can be seen at Home

We were expecting my husband's friend to visit today, and to give us some mail from the US. Unfortunately he had to cancel his trip. The poor guy got covid-19. I'm assuming he never bothered to get the vaccine. Sad, if that was true, especially since he travels so much. I expect we won't see him for several weeks. He seems otherwise to be handling covid OK. No major fears about his health, but of course he's isolating.

I'm feeling a bit down this morning, despite yesterday's nice excursion. I have to call my Dad later on because it's his 79th birthday.

[scatterbrained04]

It's been a month since I quit smoking. Lowered my nicotine patch to the lowest strength Monday. Was so low in mood last night. Today very irritable and whiny. I want a freaking cigarette but I know I shouldn't. I don't want to talk to nobody except maybe my boyfriend and my mom and son. Really want a cigarette. Have been itchy for 10 days straight. Trying to figure out why. Thought maybe Wellbutrin I had started. Stopped that 9 days ago and still getting itchy here and there. Could be the nicotine patches. Slept horribly last night, was up every couple hours.

My mom had surgery Monday and was admitted. She is doing OK. In pain and bored but ok. She should get to go home today or tomorrow hopefully.

Blah don't want to go to work today. Not in the mood to deal with people at all.

Hope you all have a good day.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

[gina_re]

Didn't go to work today. Trying to figure out what to do. I guess I'll call my pdoc

[Nammu]

Scattered, congratulations on quitting smoking. Hang in there. Heard it’s one of the hardest things to quit.

[Soupe du jour]

It's always so bumpy for me, mood-wise, in the spring. I won't go into what happened, but I feel like I've lost another millimeter of enamel from my front and/or bottom teeth, from fury grinding/clenching. Yesterday was really nice, except when I got home I struggled to sleep because of anxiety. I took an Ativan and that helped, but then struggled getting up to the point where Hubby prepared breakfast, which is a rarity. It's already 6:30 pm and I plan to eat something and then go to bed. I just don't feel like being awake for a while, but I fear I'll have difficulty falling asleep again. If I do, I should probably add more Seroquel XR at night, rather than Ativan. I know both pdocs of mine would rather it be the Seroquel XR. I think my American one wanted it added to the morning, which I did, but the extra yet at night might help me fall asleep. The morning had helped my agitation a bit, but not enough now. Too late to add more to my morning until tomorrow.

[*Beth*]

It's so great to see you, Christina. Your courage is inspiring. I'm glad you're having all the necessary testing done. Please keep us posted. Sending you better health vibes~**~*~** and a hug!

[*Beth*]

Bright and early maintenance visit this morning. Our maintenance guy is really nice, but I always get extremely anxious when people come into my home. Social anxiety, and embarrassment about my tremor (which just gets worse when I'm anxious...*sigh*). Anyway, he was only here for 10 minutes. No big deal, I wish I wouldn't freak out. While he was here I knocked over a huge glass of water, had to mop that up; in the meantime I knocked my broom straight into the cat litter box. I finally allowed myself to order a new broom on Amazon.

I just want to lie down and take a nap, but bet I won't be able to fall asleep.

Hugs all around

[Victoria'smom]

I was asked if I had any PRN's I could take this morning. I guess I'm hypomanic. The numb ripping apart feeling coming from my chest says I'm not. I have no prn's but I can feel my pulse through my body so I'm super uncomfortable.

On top of that my T transferred me or left. So I get a new T. I believe I was transferred. Prev. T wanted me to see the head supervisor. So If I don't do well with new T I'll ask about it. H is relieved as I seemed less stable and close to IP with this therapist. I don't know how I feel. How do I find a T that I feel safe with and they feel safe with me? I've NEVER threated or treated T's badly.