[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

...
My 3 (or is he 4?) year old cat acts like a puppy. He likes to chew on things. Especially plastic food bags like the bags that apples come in. I went into the kitchen today and found little teeth marks all over a bag of something I got yesterday. I wonder if he’d use a chew toy. If they even make them for cats.....

My cats have a great time with mylar crinkle balls (they're available on Amazon, really cheap). They also love plastic balls with a bell inside. It's dangerous for your cat to eat plastic. It could get stuck in his intestines.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Your room sounds really nice. What is kinetic sand?

It’s this type of thick but really soft sand. You can shape it into a lot of stuff. And it never drys out. It comes with a few little beach toys and a little plastic rake so you can make things. My old therapist had some and it was kind of like her version of a zen sand garden

[Mountaindewed]

I kind of got pretty anxious tonight. I found a few Xanax in my duffel bag. So I took one. I know it’s not the best idea to mix benzos but my anxiety just sucked. I also found an extra 2.5 days of Valium in my pill box from my trip a few weeks ago.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

It’s this type of thick but really soft sand. You can shape it into a lot of stuff. And it never drys out. It comes with a few little beach toys and a little plastic rake so you can make things. My old therapist had some and it was kind of like her version of a zen sand garden

That sounds fun!

[*Beth*]

I'm stunned that it's August 1st. It's something like 7 weeks until autumn!


I'm just about done with setting up my new apartment...only a few little items that I want to keep, but don't really have a place for them. So I will find somewhere to stash them until I have a need for them. A set of really small windchimes, for example. They're so pretty and have a nice sound, but I don't have anywhere to hang them.

Mostly, I've been devoting my attention to learning how to care for my newly-diagnose diabetic cat. Feeding schedules are different, and so on. I hope I'm doing everything correctly.

[Moose72]

N3 took me out for dinner at red Robin tonight after I got him from work. I ordered chicken breasts but then ate several onion rings! Way to undo a good plan! Plus I ate a few fries which were entirely too salty. N3 told me about a dream he had about the "purest choir ever singing Coventry Carol". Then on the way home we were singing that song in two-part harmony. These are the joys in my life.

Oh and starting in October my rent is going down. Well my portion of the rent that section 8 doesn't pay is going down! Yay!

I slept too much today. I was perfectly wide awake this morning when I took N3 to work but climbed back into bed when I got home around 6 because I could.

Other than that, I really didn't do much today. Watched a few videos on YouTube and that was it. I do so enjoy N3's company. I wish I could see N1 and N2 more.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

N3 took me out for dinner at red Robin tonight after I got him from work. I ordered chicken breasts but then ate several onion rings! Way to undo a good plan! Plus I ate a few fries which were entirely too salty. N3 told me about a dream he had about the "purest choir ever singing Coventry Carol". Then on the way home we were singing that song in two-part harmony. These are the joys in my life.

Oh and starting in October my rent is going down. Well my portion of the rent that section 8 doesn't pay is going down! Yay!

I slept too much today. I was perfectly wide awake this morning when I took N3 to work but climbed back into bed when I got home around 6 because I could.

Other than that, I really didn't do much today. Watched a few videos on YouTube and that was it. I do so enjoy N3's company. I wish I could see N1 and N2 more.

That's great about your rent! What a break. Mine went up by $100

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Moose72

What do you mean "menopause on May 9th"? It doesn't just start like a period does. What are the good things about menopause - the weight loss? I have heard that people gain weight with that, not lose. Fill me in! I just have not hit peri yet which I am happy about.

I think I was going through menopause for about 10 years. Well, maybe 8 years. Horrible hot flashes that went on for years. I basically cracked up...as in, I was mentally NOT stable for 10 full years. The only good thing I have to say about it is that it's OVER. It stopped when I was 54-55. I'm 58 now. One thing I did not have was "dryness" issues. None anywhere in my body. Even my face is as hyper-sensitive and oily as it's always been. Annoying.

[Soupe du jour]

Little to say, lately. There's no real level of depression, but few reasons for smiling.

In eight days, Hubby and I will have reached the two weeks after our second covid shots. I look forward to that. I have been mighty annoyed with the people who don't get vaccinated and scream wanting "Freedom". There are plenty of them in Europe, too, and they're the same sort as the ones in the US. I want "freedom", too. Nobody likes the masks and restrictions. I see these people as taking away the freedom of the people who take the pandemic seriously. By not, they prolong and prolong and prolong it, not to mention putting others at risk. I'm wording this kindly.

I hope to take that trip to Vienna sometime after next week. At the end of August we go to my s-i-l's house, where nearby will be an outdoor party. In mid-September we take a trip my husband gave me for my big birthday. After that? We really should start our new lives more sufficiently. I know what that means.

I have finally fixed my fan (my small portable one), and it's so good that it's back to full pressure.

it's a nice way to start the week, specially since yesterday I didn't eat well, sleep well, or even feel well really

both my fans are now in operation. woohoo

I had an hour long trip each way on public transit yesterday and it was the "Journey-from-Hell." You get those every once in a while on public transit. It was way out in the West of our great city. I took our miraculous immaculate uber-comfortable subway as far as i could go but then there was no choice but to take a bus.

That's where the trouble came in. The bus did not take our bus-only route as it is under construction as our train is extended into the East and West of our fabulous city.

The roads were in terrible shape and my teeth rattled and my skeleton was jarred. I'd forgotten my ear-buds and my fellow traveler did not want to chat so there were no distractions.

I mean -- i get it, all the city's money is going into our train and that's as it should be, i fully support that. But i won't travel West again until the train is built.

To top it off, a mall site en route is under massive construction and we must have circled around for ten minutes there and in the adjacent station with everything looking such a mess. I was so glad when we started on our way again, it was so awful just being pinned down in that chaos.

To add insult to injury, the shop i went specifically to see went out-of-business. I have this terrible habit of not calling first because of trauma and violence involving phones in my family and i didn't think to Google either. It's a big chain store, so i thought for sure they would have survived COVID but i guess not.

So that was a big disappointment and a colossal waste of time and a massive amount of needless suffering. I will Google every where i go before from now on. You just don't know what has survived COVID and what has perished.

Sorry this post is so negative, i just needed to complain and i feel better now... Tho you all might feel worse!!! Sorry about that!

@Moose72:

That sounds delightful, harmonizing with your child in the car, i adore harmonizing!!! So amazing that you and your child have that skill to share with each other!!! It's usually the baby of the family that sticks close by their parent as an adult. The eldest is used to being the leader and the middle is used to being the peace-maker. That's how it went in my family, with my youngest sister living rent-free at home until my mom died when my sister was 31. Sponge!!! But my mom loved her, she was the favorite and my mom appreciated the company and support of my sister who is ferocious, so i did not begrudge my sister the indulgence. I knew it meant a lot to my mom.

@Soupe du jour:

Sounds like you have some nice events planned. Did you say Venice? It'll be sooooooooooo romantic, you will love it. You have lots of things to look forward to. I know i'm looking forward to my immersive experience in the art of Vincent Van Gogh. It's important to have things to look forward too, keeps you healthy!

Hugs,

Jane.

[Mountaindewed]

I don’t know if I should be concerned or not. That dark black spot on the bottom of my foot started hurting last night and now the area around it is red and it hurts to move my ankle too and it hurts a bit to walk on it. I think I see the dermatologist later this week. I always worry though and everything always turns out ok. I’ll have my mom look at it when she wakes up. She’s always been a great judge when it comes to emergency’s like this. Well except the time when I was 9 she didn’t take me to the ER or doctor when I had an odd summer bug and I ended up with a 104 degree fever. Also she didn’t take me to the doctor when I was 12 and I had severe right side pain for 6 days and I was puking and stuff. When I was an adult I’d bring it up and all she would say was “well did you die?” No, but a medical record of these things would have helped greatly. When I was in treatment centers when I was 13-17 I’d get the same stuff they’d be like “well you don’t have a history of it so we can’t get you checked out.” And I’d tell them I do have a history of it but my mom just didn’t take me to the doctor. Yeah that sounded like a huge lie to them, but it was true.

But now my mom takes things seriously. I don’t want to ignore it but I don’t want to be admitted to the hospital either. I think if there’s something legit there and it hurts then I assume they’d have to remove it.

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by BethRags

I'm stunned that it's August 1st. It's something like 7 weeks until autumn!


I'm just about done with setting up my new apartment...only a few little items that I want to keep, but don't really have a place for them. So I will find somewhere to stash them until I have a need for them. A set of really small windchimes, for example. They're so pretty and have a nice sound, but I don't have anywhere to hang them.

Mostly, I've been devoting my attention to learning how to care for my newly-diagnose diabetic cat. Feeding schedules are different, and so on. I hope I'm doing everything correctly.

Congratulations on getting settled into your new apartment! Moving is a big job. I lost my wind chimes somehow when I moved. I should get some more. I love the sound.

I’m sure you’re doing a wonderful job job caring for Sid. Sending hugs.

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I don’t know if I should be concerned or not. That dark black spot on the bottom of my foot started hurting last night and now the area around it is red and it hurts to move my ankle too and it hurts a bit to walk on it. I think I see the dermatologist later this week. I always worry though and everything always turns out ok. I’ll have my mom look at it when she wakes up. She’s always been a great judge when it comes to emergency’s like this. Well except the time when I was 9 she didn’t take me to the ER or doctor when I had an odd summer bug and I ended up with a 104 degree fever. Also she didn’t take me to the doctor when I was 12 and I had severe right side pain for 6 days and I was puking and stuff. When I was an adult I’d bring it up and all she would say was “well did you die?” No, but a medical record of these things would have helped greatly. When I was in treatment centers when I was 13-17 I’d get the same stuff they’d be like “well you don’t have a history of it so we can’t get you checked out.” And I’d tell them I do have a history of it but my mom just didn’t take me to the doctor. Yeah that sounded like a huge lie to them, but it was true.

But now my mom takes things seriously. I don’t want to ignore it but I don’t want to be admitted to the hospital either. I think if there’s something legit there and it hurts then I assume they’d have to remove it.

I’m sorry you are hurting. The spot on your foot sounds worrisome. I really hope you’ll get it checked out.

[Lizzie1813]

I’m feeling okay this morning. I slept pretty well, but I had bad dreams. Not nightmares like I often have, but not too upsetting either. I’m supposed to drink a ton of water because of kidney damage caused by lithium, but I haven’t done too well with that lately. I need to do better. My sculpting tools were supposed to arrive today, but they’re going to be late. Hopefully, they’ll get here tomorrow. My kitchen is literally a disaster. I just haven’t felt like keeping it up the last few days. I HAVE to clean it today. I texted with my daughter last night. Not a lot, but it still cheered me up. Hoping today is good for everyone, myself included.

Update: I cleaned my kitchen! It feels like a huge accomplishment because I just haven’t had the energy the last few days. So glad it’s done. I talk to my therapist is 20 minutes. We’re going to work on my budget because I’m terrible with money.

[Lizzie1813]

Has anyone heard of the herb Ashwagandha? I was searching for OTC remedies for anxiety (before my pdoc prescribed buspirone) and discovered it. I ordered some, and it’s supposed to be here today. Not sure if I should take it or not.

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I had an hour long trip each way...
@Soupe du jour:

Sounds like you have some nice events planned. Did you say Venice? It'll be sooooooooooo romantic, you will love it. You have lots of things to look forward to. I know i'm looking forward to my immersive experience in the art of Vincent Van Gogh. It's important to have things to look forward too, keeps you healthy!

Hugs,

Jane.

Hi Jane. That does sound like an awful long journey for naught. I'm glad you got home OK. I agree trains and subways can be great. The ones in Czech Republic are pretty good. I liked the ones in Berkeley, CA when I lived there in my youth. New Jersey's needs improvement. All in the NYC and Philly areas need upgrading. I heard they sort of almost scrapped train upgrades from the upcoming bipartisan infrastructure bill because some in the US don't value them as much as they should. Perhaps that is in the reconciliation bill.

No Venice in the near future, or Italy at all. Vienna, Austria. The latter is much closer. Only a 2 hour or so drive from us. We have been to Venice in the past, and other parts of Italy. I agree it was wonderful. Likely better way back then (some years ago) than in recent years. They say tourism there and in Florence is now unchecked, though during the pandemic some may say it was improved, "sans tourists".

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by Lizzie1813

I’m sorry you are hurting. The spot on your foot sounds worrisome. I really hope you’ll get it checked out.

My mom says it doesn’t look any worse then it did before. But she said it doesn’t look any better either. But she said that now that it is hurting is concerning. I see my dermatologist on Thursday. I’m hoping to just hang on until then. I don’t have a fever so that’s good.

[leomama]

I am really struggling. It’s my Sunday and I didn’t take any seroquel last night as I have to get up at 5am on work days .

I talked to my doctor about my struggles at work and he suggested setting up a special needs trust but my family is part of the problem. They caused my disability.

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by leomama

I am really struggling. It’s my Sunday and I didn’t take any seroquel last night as I have to get up at 5am on work days .

I talked to my doctor about my struggles at work and he suggested setting up a special needs trust but my family is part of the problem. They caused my disability.

I’m sorry you are struggling and unable to take your medications when you need them. I’m glad you reached out to your doctor. I hope things get better for you.

[Fuzzybear]

The last week or more I've had very low energy, a lot of bad symptoms, I've been neglecting things I usually accomplish easily. I wish I was ''normal''.. or that my heart didn't hurt so much, I would love it if the anxiety let up a bit too...it is very severe. I'm low on benzos, maybe a refill in a week or so... I have some old seroquel which I took before in ''emergencies'' but the rash caused worsens the depression and pain...

[Mountaindewed]

I saw on a commercial that my favorite musical is doing their farewell tour and they are going to be stopping near me in November. That is my favorite musical of all time and I’ve been dying to see it for 10 years. I had been planning on a small trip during the fall anyways so I had already put money aside earlier this year. I got close and expensive seats. I’m in the 5th row. We are actually making it a family affair and my brother is coming along so we can site see during the day. He’s excited about going and he never gets excited about anything. Plus my Mountain Dew is out for delivery today. I’m hoping my doctor calls about the surgery because it will go so well with my French vanilla fantasy (my idea of how things should be going and the way they are going today)

My North face shirt that I got last week is a bit big. But I refuse to admit that I can fit into a boys large so I’ll just wear it anyways. Shirt shopping is the worst. It used to be pants shopping. Now it’s shirt shopping. All men’s pants are basically the same unlike women’s pants where you have to try on a bunch and a 6, 8 and 12 all fit the same.

[Fuzzybear]

[Lizzie1813]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

The last week or more I've had very low energy, a lot of bad symptoms, I've been neglecting things I usually accomplish easily. I wish I was ''normal''.. or that my heart didn't hurt so much, I would love it if the anxiety let up a bit too...it is very severe. I'm low on benzos, maybe a refill in a week or so... I have some old seroquel which I took before in ''emergencies'' but the rash caused worsens the depression and pain...

I’m so sorry you aren’t feeling well. I can understand wanting to feel “normal.” I hope you get some relief from your anxiety. Have you ever tried holding an ice pack on the back of your neck or on your chest? Doing that helps me some. I also keep popsicles on hand to suck on when my anxiety is bad. I hope you feel better soon.