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#726
Jul 30, 2021, 08:19 PM
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I hope you adjust soon.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
 Soupe du jour
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 Ursula Shackleton
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#727
Jul 30, 2021, 08:33 PM
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 bluescifi
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous41462, Soupe du jour
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#728
Jul 31, 2021, 03:44 AM
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Welcome @bluescifi! We're glad you joined us here.
I hope the extra Lamictal does what you and your doc want it to. A lot of people highly value that med. I have taken a bit of it, too, for a while. I think it is partly responsible for keeping depression away, for a long time. I have also had adjustment periods to higher doses and meds. Hopefully yours will be quick. |
| Anonymous41462
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#729
Jul 31, 2021, 04:28 AM
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I told my therapist on Monday about them and she was cool and had no problem but I told her I was worried I was becoming dependent on them. You can find all this stuff on Amazon. I was reading a lot yesterday. I’m reading 2 non fiction books at once. I have 3 fiction books on my shelf I want to read. A Clockwork Orange, Winesburg Ohio, and The Grapes Of Wrath. I’m also thinking of buying Gone With The Wind from Amazon. I used to have 6 full bookcases of books 7-8 years ago. Then I downsized over the years and now I’m down to one almost full shelf on my small bookcase. But I write down the books I read. At least I did from 2009 until the end of 2017. I read 6 books in 2018 and then I read 3 in 2019. I have down the books I’ve read since November in the notes section of my phone. But I should probably add them to my notebook. Edit: based on the “what are you reading” thread I was able to look back at my old posts and write down the books I read in 2018 and 2019. In late 2020 I read 5 books and now i’m on my 17th and 18th book this year. That is more then 2018, 2019, and 2020 combined and it’s not even August. I was just getting super distracted by my chest and my dysphoria would act up every time I looked down and I wouldn’t be able to concentrate because I’d be upset. Once I got my surgery the problem was instantly solved and I went back to reading a lot.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka Last edited by Mountaindewed; Jul 31, 2021 at 07:16 AM. |
| *Beth*, Sunflower123
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#730
Jul 31, 2021, 05:14 AM
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I mentioned elsewhere that Hubby and I are again looking for a new therapist for me, after several weeks not seeing one. It seems a bit of a challenge finding one without a waiting list or "not currently accepting new clients" that takes insurance. Those that do are mostly all with Ph.D.s Ones with only masters degrees do have space, but don't take insurance. Most of the latter can't even do so because of minimum education and experience requirements here in CZ. Normally I'd be just fine with one with masters degree only, but I think because I'm on disability it is best to aim for the Ph.D. The ones with masters degrees here mostly cost 700 and 800 czk ($32 to $37) for 50 minutes. That's the same as just my copays for in-network therapists in the US, who took insurance.
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| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Lizzie1813, Nammu, Sunflower123
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#731
Jul 31, 2021, 05:57 AM
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@Bluescifi:
WELCOME!!! What is the significance of your screen-name? Do you really like sci-fi? I just started "Solaris" yesterday, the virtuoso late Russian director Andrei Tarkovsky's sci-fi film. Vexingly, the free online copy i am watching only has about 75% dubbed in English. Then suddenly the chars will start speaking Russian and there are no sub-titles. It's annoying. But gorgeous to look at, as is all Tarkovsky's work. Have you seen "Solaris"? Or do you like READING sci-fi better? I like Lawrence Sanders "The Tomorrow File" in which society is organized by genetic-rating. Very original!!! Isaac Asimov's "The Foundation Trilogy" is good too. What ones do *you* like? Hope the Lamictal works out. A lot of people swear by that drug. Not to discourage you but it did not work for me, but then i am med-resistant and no meds work for me, planning on going meds-free, in a slow, controlled, doctor-approved and doctor-supervised withdrawal. Hugs, Jane. 
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| Nammu, Sunflower123
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#732
Jul 31, 2021, 07:24 AM
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 Dx: Bipolar 1, BPD, Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia Rx: Trintellix 20 mg Saphris 20 mg Lamictal 300 mg Lunesta 2 mg Buspirone 5 mg 2 x day |
| Anonymous41462
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#733
Jul 31, 2021, 08:52 AM
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Welcome! 
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| Anonymous41462
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#734
Jul 31, 2021, 09:15 AM
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__________________
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| *Beth*, Anonymous41462
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| *Beth*
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#735
Jul 31, 2021, 09:18 AM
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__________________
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| Anonymous41462
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#736
Jul 31, 2021, 09:21 AM
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__________________
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| Anonymous41462
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#737
Jul 31, 2021, 09:30 AM
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I placed a grocery order on Thursday for pickup today. My mom will get it on her way home. And they are out of a lot of stuff. I ordered 4 different kinds of rice cakes and they are out of all those. How can a store be out of rice cakes? Also the orange Vanilla Coke Zero I ordered is out of stock. I’ve been looking for that for a couple months. For once in my life I’m getting low on soda because all I drink is zero sugar and it’s for some reason been very hard to find lately. I know Coke Zero is rebranding their cans. So maybe that’s it. But it’s not just Coke, it’s Pepsi and Dr. Pepper too.
But they had all my ramen and Goldfish crackers and European chocolate. They had to substitute one of pack of Gatorade. Which is slightly annoying. But mainly it’s just the soda I was looking forward to. But at least the Mountain Dew I ordered on EBay finally shipped last night and it will be here on Tuesday instead of next Saturday like it was originally scheduled. I don’t drink regular soda anymore but I’m dying to try this kind. But I’ll probably give some of the cans to my brother. My anxiety is kinda sucky but I probably should take my 20mil Geodon. When I use my non meds coping skills my anxiety is ok but my brother is up now so I’ll have to close the door if I want to use them. He doesn’t care if I close the door or not. He doesn’t wonder at all what I do. I brought my package into the house yesterday, a decent size box, right by him and all he did was give me a confused look. Edit: like the last 2 days I seem to be feeling more alert and less anxious and depressed now then I did this morning. I’m not sure what the issue has been or why I feel better suddenly. I’ve only had oatmeal today but I’ve had 3 bowls of it. One was just regular maple and brown sugar. The other 2 bowls were Trix flavored. It tastes exactly like the cereal. I also got Cocoa Puffs and Cinnamon Toast Crunch oatmeal at the same time. I saw that the store I got the grocery pick up from had Vanilla Coke Zero so I asked my mom if she wouldn’t mind running into get me some. They had it so at least I have that now. She told me she had a lot of fun at her reunion. I’m glad she’s getting a break from all her stress even though I’m not really getting a break from mine. But since she’s the glue that holds everyone together it’s better that she’s not stressed then me.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka Last edited by Mountaindewed; Jul 31, 2021 at 12:57 PM. |
| *Beth*, Sunflower123
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#738
Jul 31, 2021, 09:55 AM
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| Anonymous41462
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#739
Jul 31, 2021, 12:42 PM
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My brother fell this morning and couldn’t get up. I was helping mom get ready to go to the funeral of a good friend of hers. I helped him up and sat with him until he stabilized. I decided at that moment that it is imperative for me to build up my world aside from them: exercise, hobbies, getaways, social events, friends etc. It’s not because I don’t care but because I do…too much. I need something to offset the deterioration I’m seeing. I’m deeply disturbed. Also, I’m 54, healthy and energetic. I still have life in me and this situation has expanded to be the majority of my world.
I think it’s a positive decision that will benefit all of us. |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Soupe du jour, wildflowerchild25
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| *Beth*, wildflowerchild25
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#740
Jul 31, 2021, 12:45 PM
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Jennifer, absolutely! Do please be kind to yourself. There's no need to make YOU unwell, too. |
| Anonymous41462, Sunflower123
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| *Beth*, Sunflower123
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#741
Jul 31, 2021, 01:23 PM
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I went back to bed after dropping N3 off at work this morning at 5:45. I had to pee the entire ride to pick him up and drop him off and turn around and get back home! No emergency- just uncomfortable. I was glad to be home after that. I slept another 4 hours and then got up and went to Starbucks. I looked at Facebook and watched videos on the Wedway People Mover aka Tomorrowland Transit Authority at The Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World. Interesting history. They tried putting in a faster version of this at Disneyland in 1995 and in 1999 I rode it while 8 weeks pregnant with N2. It was a choppy ride that went fast then slow around the corners. Eventually, the engineering was discovered to be faulty and they had to shut the new version down. I still wonder if I should've been riding that while pregnant. I often fall down the rabbit hole of videos on YouTube about Disney World/Disneyland.
Now I'm home eating lunch- cheese ravioli. Saw N1's old friend/roommate at Starbucks earlier. She just said hi as she was walking inside- I was sitting outside. No real conversation. I wouldn't want to talk with her anyway because she stole money from N1 over several months!  basically took her share of the rent $ and never paid it! They are being evicted. N1 is moved out now, though, and living with a friend. So that's good. I don't know what is being done about cutting their lease early. I'm just praying that it works out.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Nammu, Sunflower123, Ursula Shackleton
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#742
Jul 31, 2021, 02:59 PM
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I was my mom's caregiver and I fully appreciate your enlightened decision. 
__________________
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| Anonymous41462, Moose72, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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| Sunflower123
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#743
Jul 31, 2021, 04:03 PM
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Hello, I’m new here.
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| Anonymous41462, Nammu, Soupe du jour
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| scatterbrained04, Soupe du jour
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#744
Jul 31, 2021, 05:19 PM
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| Anonymous41462
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#745
Jul 31, 2021, 05:29 PM
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__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous41462
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#746
Jul 31, 2021, 05:31 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| Anonymous41462
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| *Beth*
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#747
Jul 31, 2021, 05:35 PM
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I just got back a half hour ago. Went to that joy of painting class. My picture turned out pretty good. One spot looked weird so I asked what to do about it and she asked me! I said maybe a bush. That was great. Wish I could post a picture but I’ve no idea how to do that. I hope to take more classes this was fun and there was half the class new to painting so it was comfortable atmosphere.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Daonnachd, Lizzie1813
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| *Beth*
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#749
Jul 31, 2021, 06:01 PM
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You are amazing! Wow, be proud of yourself! You're very much an inspiration to me, and I'm sure to others here.
__________________
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| Anonymous41462, Nammu
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| Nammu
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#750
Jul 31, 2021, 06:23 PM
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@SugarGirl - Hello! Welcome.
In my little corner of the world it was so hot yesterday and so many people drawing power for air conditioning a transformer blew and the resulting outage lasted through the night and past midday. Monday I have ECT and a portion of my usual route to get there is going to be closed or controlled for road repairs. I'm looking at another way to get there but unsure despite using google maps. I just don't know the alternate roads very well.
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| *Beth*, Anonymous41462, Moose72, Nammu
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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