Cool Insomnia Club #3

Look! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's.... aw it's just another nightmare waking me up at 2am about my last psychotic episode and the things I thought were happening that didn't actually happen... oh well.

I’m listening to the song Come To My Window and I like the part that goes “keeping my eyes open I cannot afford to sleep, giving away promises I know that I can’t keep.” It reminds me of myself and my life.

I guess I feel physically better and probably mental health wise without all those sleep meds in my system but I’m still not sleeping. Maybe my mom will switch beds with me again. My sleep issues seemed to get bad once I got her memory foam mattress a few months ago.

I think I’ll drink a protein shake. If I can’t sleep in an hour I’ll turn on the TV.

Yesterday afternoon I had a couple cans of Thums Up cola which is like the India version of Coke but that’s the only caffeine I had all day. I got rid of most my soda but I left a few cans of unique hard to find stuff.

I just had a cake batter Premier Protein shake and I feel better since I went to bed without dinner but I’m still not sure I can go back to sleep. I’ve been trying though.

My mom agreed to switch beds with me but more reluctantly then I thought she would. But I have another 2 weeks where I can’t lift anything so I can’t move it today like I had wanted to. So I don’t know what to do. If that means another 2 more weeks of crappy sleep or if I can somehow get used to the bed and without the sleep meds.

Finally fell asleep 130ish last night and then wide awake by 4 something. Oh well up for the day and kept myself busy. I have a huge pot of chili at least.

Sleepy hugs

I just finished off our pot of chili. Last night. This weekend I’m making cottage pie. But I think next week I’ll make a big pot of broccoli soup. Soup is the perfect meal for a cosy night, seems to help me sleep too.

Jeeze these nights just keep getting worse and worse. Monday night was 1:30. Last night was midnight. Tonight was 11. I thought going to bed at 6:30 after being up since midnight was ok. But I guess not. I hope I can get back to sleep. I did take a 10 mil melatonin before I went to bed and then I took another one just now. I mean they sell them in 20mil bottles.

I'm so desperate for sleep. but I still kept waking up and it's 3am and I think I'm up for the day. In about 10 hours I have an appointment with my NP. When I was in the hospital my doc said my lack of sleep was probably due to psychotic/manic symptoms rather than typical insomnia and I'm starting tto wonder if that's the case now.

I decided to try to take my meds as prescribed for once so I took my 80 mil Geodon and my topamax like I’m supposed to in the morning. It knocked me out from close to 1 until 5:15 or so. I feel rested and not as anxious but I’m kinda hungry because of the Geodon. The whole reason I avoid taking Geodon in the AM in the first place was to avoid my hunger. But anyways I don’t feel too terrible right now.

Do you ever feel high at night? I have been waking up feeling like I was smoking pot (I am not toucing the stuff at the moment).

I don’t feel high but often when I’m up at night I feel really good and I’m in a good manic like kinda mood or something. But then when I get up in the morning my moods just crash.

Fell asleep for like 1.5 hours and woke up and now can't go back to sleep. Anxious.

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This is my third time waking up since 9pm. Not even 2 yet. I'm giving up on tonight.

I was getting those funny physical feelings again my doctor says are symptoms of my high testosterone and other high blood levels. I was feeling funny. My mom suggested I eat a bag of chips to help with the nausea and I did and for some reason it worked and I slept straight from 7:30 until 5:30 without any sleep meds. All thanks to a bag of chips. Plus I was using a cooler blanket too then I had been using.

Not enough sleep, so feeling sleepy & tired, but I seem to be functioning better than yesterday.

Pretty good sleep, woke a bit too early for my liking but not bad 6.5 hours. Was rolling around trying to get back to sleep when my cat came in requesting food! So I got up. Weird dream that took place in a giant mall. People falling sick with a virus. I got it but not bad.

I stayed up an hour past when I normally go to bed so I can, you know, wake up after dawn. So 10pm hits I'm in bed falling asleep and then I wake up an hour later and try to chemically make myself sleep but it doesn't work and here I am on one hour of sleep pretty certain I'm not getting anymore.

My sleep has been so screwy last few days.

Last night I did manage to get back to sleep at about 2am or so after being up for 4 hours. It took that 4 hours for the anxiety attack to kick out. I slept until like 7 or 8am.

The weather here was dark and dreary yesterday. I ended up taking 2 naps yesterday, about an hour or so long each. It's 2:20 a.m. now. I had fallen asleep about 9pm. I was in and out of sleep starting around 12-12:30am. I gave up at 1:30 and just got up I'm drinking coffee. I may lay back down in a bit.

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I fell asleep around 7 and I woke up at 2:30. Which I guess is enough sleep. It’s what I usually get I just have to figure out what to do now for 3 hours.

I feel like someone got me sick again. I’m coughing. I was in my room with my brother in law for over an hour last night so idk. But we are both vaccinated and don’t ever really go out so we shouldn’t have colds or anything.

Very little sleep. I was hoping to get a lot done today but I don't have the energy.

I woke up as usual at 2:30. But I fell asleep at 7 and I fell asleep fast. I woke up warm and I slept in my jeans and socks and a sweater and a heavy blanket. So maybe that was it. Also my stomach hurts a bit and I’m not sure why.

I'm not waking up too early; the sun is waking up too late!!!
But really I only got like an hour of rest last night/don't even want to call it sleep.

Got up early yesterday morning so last night went to be a bit early around 11pm read a bit and was out like a light. Woke at 8 so a little over 8 hours, yay 😀! Rather cool dream of being back in college, hanging out with this cool hippie guy and some friends. Had a three seater motorcycle./golf cart thing that was designed out of circular parts.

Woke up too early, as usual, but mostly been ok today.

I fell asleep around 3 yesterday afternoon. I slept until about 3 this morning. I could use a protein bar, a bottle of Mountain Dew and 2 extra strength Tylenol right about now.

I ate at Atkins bar and then I turned on my music and fell asleep for another 40 minutes. I feel ok but I feel like this no soda thing isn’t working. My anxiety is still the worst even after 15 hours of sleep. And yeah it could be the massive decrease in caffeine.

I think I’ll get up and weigh myself and drink a Mountain Dew then take my visteril Valium and topamax and see if any of that does anything. But I must have gotten close to 13 hours of sleep from sleeping from 3PM-3AM and then off and on until 5.

But my new bed seems to have helped.

Went to bed around 9, woke up at 1am and just stayed in bed cuddling the beautiful boy in my avatar until an hour or so ago. Didn't get much sleep as usual but it was a good night.