[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I gotta get off here I've been struggling with ever increasing Auditory hallucinations the last 48 hours or more. They start off quietly but then are increasing

Right now I can still fact check them so hopefully that will continue..

I dont have time for this. We leave Wednesday night so I cant start on any meds. I need to be alert I am not sure if Steve will be able to help driving.

I am safe, I can fact check. But if I hear " I wish that I was Jessie's girl one more bloody time I'm going to implode.. I hated that garbage song when it first polluted the air waves. There are 2 old mean sounding men yelling on the other side of the house where the kids rooms are. In between all this is Opera... Deep painful Opera ( sorry not a fan) I hear lots of guns which have triggered my PTSD and many of you know why..

Arghhh Steve knows all of this is going on. I always have a chattering noise behind me but its louder and I'm starting to make out words, usually its just mumbling..

The sound of my nails on this laptop is like nails on a chalk board ..

EEEEKKKK ! I'm hoping this will be gone by morning. Like there is never a good time for this bullshyyyyt ever !!!! But good grief I have a quick trip to Florida to make and Im seeing my brother.. I have to see him...

Yes by morning I'll be fine !!!! This is all stressed related ( Booo Hisss )

Hugs and love to anyone in need

Bless your heart! Terrible timing (as if there ever is a time). I hope it clears up pronto and you have an incredible time. Sending hugs and healing vibes.

[Soupe du jour]

@bizi, I'm sorry to read of your loss. Hugs

@~Christina, auditory hallucinations can get so terrible. I know. Musical hallucinations were particularly persistent for me, as well. And like you, those particular ones were ones I could identify as such while having them, unlike other types. Perhaps they will stop soon. If not, know that in my case a new anticonvulsant moodstabilizer (Tegretol) eventually shut them down. Have you had such hallucinations in the past? Glad to read that you are more comfortable about your upcoming trip. And fresh picked blackberries sound wonderful! I picked a handful while on a walk about four days ago, but they went straight from the vine to Hubby's and my mouths.

@Jennifer 1967, with all of the challenges for you and your family, it's terrible that the doggie is so sick! It always seems that when it rains it pours. Sorry about that. Hugs

@Sapien, I'm sending wishes that you get the help you need and that they can offer it without the costs adding to the stress. All the best.

[Mountaindewed]

bizi I’m sorry for the loss of your friend.

[MuddyBoots]

My condolences, Bizi. Take care of yourself.

[Sunflower123]

Bizi, I’m sorry for the loss of your friend.

[Sunflower123]

Feeling beat down and battered by the circumstances of life. I probably just need a good cry and I’ll bounce right back. I don’t stay down long.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful Sunday.

[Nammu]

Christina

Jennifer

[Mountaindewed]

I’m doing ok. Well mostly. My moods and my anxiety have been under control all day. But through distraction. I’ve been reading way too much today. These last 3 days actually. I didn’t even know about hurricane Ida until it hit. I’ve been living off the grid this weekend with my 417 page Jodi Picoult book yesterday and then with my 690 page Stephen King book today. I’ve had my noise cancelling headphones on all day yesterday and today. So I haven’t heard anything. I have no idea what’s going on in the world and I honestly don’t want to know. I know I can’t be holed up in my room with books until October 1st when I have my surgery. But I am tense and and anxious as a result. Plus in physical pain. I’ve had cramps all day and stuff. At one point I couldn’t even concentrate so I had to take some Tylenol. So I’m going to try my hardest to keep my anxiety down this next month and I guess that means insane reading.

[Scooter9]

I had 6 fries yesterday - I couldn't resist. It was ok though.

One good thing about being on an IV for the time I was in the hospital is that I feel thirsty now and am drinking more water, much more than before I was in the hospital. I used to have 1 or 2 glasses a day and now I'm over 6 or 7.

[Nammu]

I went to the art fair. Used mum push cart and was able to go all over without my back hurting. Mum didn’t want to go so I went by myself. Saw some nice stuff. A couple of painting I wouldn’t mind owning, but geez out of my price range. Don’t know how much the ceramics were but there was some nice stuff. The jewelry was so so. Not my style. Then I went to get something to eat and a lemonade. I’d just asked two ladies if I could join them when my sister and bil asked me to join them. We sat and end enjoyed the free music.

Some extra hugs...

@~Christina

@bizi

[Daonnachd]

I have ECT tomorrow morning. I leave at 0400 to be at the hospital at 0600. As usual, I'm feeling a little nervous.

[wildflowerchild25]

@bizi
So deeply sorry for your friend’s passing. It’s hard when it’s out of the blue like that, especially if you think they’re getting better.

@~Christina
Hallucinations are hard! That’s not in my personal repertoire, my brain likes to throw me into paranoia instead, but it is hard to fact check and remain in reality. I hope they quiet themselves soon!

[wildflowerchild25]

I have no idea what my issue is today. I woke up ANGRY. Like pissed the hell off with everyone. My boys started the whole breakfast dance (what do you want, no what do YOU want) when I know neither of them likes what the other one likes. The only way they can both be happy is if we go to the diner. But I got up too late, I wasn’t ready until 9:30 and by then all the (good) diners in the area are on a 20-30 minute wait.

So I didn’t want to hear it so I just made eggs and bacon and hash browns but I messed up the hash browns and then I was so angry with myself and was projecting onto RS, convinced that he was angry with me, and then getting mad at HIM for being mad at me and it was all completely ridiculous.

Then I felt depressed. And we had to go to a party which I really didn’t want to, but I managed to go and now we’re home and all I want to do is go to bed.

NO Idea where this came from, NO idea why.

The only good thing that I got out of today was I found a migraine medicine that works. The first one tightened up my neck and shoulders, and the second one put me to sleep for the whole day. This one tightens my neck a little bit but it’s tolerable and my headache was gone in an hour.

[Mountaindewed]

These cramps suck. I’ve been sitting with the heating pad turned on high underneath my shirt for the last hour and I’m not getting any relief. I took Tylenol at 3. So I still can’t take more. I could probably take Advil but I’m not allowed to take that. I have been warned many times by my doctor not to take it because of my kidney issues. I don’t know. Maybe I really did just **** up a muscle skateboarding for 20 minutes.

This started a few days ago and it felt like some random stomach bug. Now not much is helping it and it’s getting worse. I thought it maybe could be constipation so I drank milk of magensium and mirolax at the same time a few days ago. It worked a couple days ago. Then today I thought it could have been the same issue. So I took 3 colace. Which somewhat helped but the pain is still there.

Now it just feels like the physical effects of PMS but not the mental health ones.

I haven't seen my son in like 2 weeks. I'm really missing him. He was supposed to come the last 4 days but couldn't wake up until it was too late. He said he will come for sure tomorrow.

Can anyone think of something we can do? I'm completely broke until Wednesday. I have a couple streaming services but he gets bored of watching movies etc. I can't think of anything...

I have gained 5 lbs back! I had lost 14. But I've not been sticking to my calorie deficit every day. Also I've been constipated and having period issues. The other day I had the best subway sandwich. It was rotisserie chicken with oil and vinegar, avocado, regular mayonnaise, extra olives, provolone cheese and all the veggies. I haven't had something so good in awhile, lol. It was 1400 calories! My limit is 1500. So I had eggs and toast later in the day and that brought me too 400 calories. So 1800 total. Next time I order subway, I wont get the mayonnaise, and oil. That will take it down 600 calories! I've really got to be careful with my choices.

I've been sleeping so much better now that I've cut my caffeine intake. Its amazing how much better I feel now that I'm getting enough sleep.

I just turned 47! This time of year I have to be very careful bc this is when I usually get manic. I did last year, but so far I've been ok this year. I have to admit I really miss being hypo. Its been about 3 years since that has happened. I have been dealing with so much the last 4 years or so, so I don't know if that's why.

Hope everyone is well!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

I went to the art fair. Used mum push cart and was able to go all over without my back hurting. Mum didn’t want to go so I went by myself. Saw some nice stuff. A couple of painting I wouldn’t mind owning, but geez out of my price range. Don’t know how much the ceramics were but there was some nice stuff. The jewelry was so so. Not my style. Then I went to get something to eat and a lemonade. I’d just asked two ladies if I could join them when my sister and bil asked me to join them. We sat and end enjoyed the free music.

Oh that sounds so enjoyable. When I lived in Florida (before moving to TN) My Mom and I had 8-10 a year so much fun and most stuff was out of my price comfort zone. We did find a retired gentleman that make beautiful rings out of all kind of stuff, Gold, silver, copper, Spoon rings which my Mother and I had many etc etc.. I always had to buy something. We knew each other well he would always ask us what design we would like next, We always said surprise us, and each Fair he would wait for us to arrive to pull out a tray full of some special ones he made for us..

They has some here but most are in Nashville area and I went the first few years but never really saw anything that I really liked..

I bet it felt great to get out

-

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I have no idea what my issue is today. I woke up ANGRY. Like pissed the hell off with everyone. My boys started the whole breakfast dance (what do you want, no what do YOU want) when I know neither of them likes what the other one likes. The only way they can both be happy is if we go to the diner. But I got up too late, I wasn’t ready until 9:30 and by then all the (good) diners in the area are on a 20-30 minute wait.

So I didn’t want to hear it so I just made eggs and bacon and hash browns but I messed up the hash browns and then I was so angry with myself and was projecting onto RS, convinced that he was angry with me, and then getting mad at HIM for being mad at me and it was all completely ridiculous.

Then I felt depressed. And we had to go to a party which I really didn’t want to, but I managed to go and now we’re home and all I want to do is go to bed.

NO Idea where this came from, NO idea why.

The only good thing that I got out of today was I found a migraine medicine that works. The first one tightened up my neck and shoulders, and the second one put me to sleep for the whole day. This one tightens my neck a little bit but it’s tolerable and my headache was gone in an hour.

I'm sorry you woke up that way.. Its soooooooo hard to deal with ( I know)

YAY ! for finding something is helping with Migraine pain. Prior to my hysterectomy I would have so many a month I felt like I was snorting Imetrix 2-3 times a week.. After surgery I have only had 1 since 2003 I was so grateful. They are so brutal. I hope that med continues to work for you.

Are you all set for starting the new school year??

Many hugs

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I had something pretty special happen. A few weeks ago I posted about sending a note to my former best friend who pretty much attacked me over BP 17 years ago. I hadn't talked to her in 16 years. I didn't expect much if anything; I was afraid I would get a mean response.

Instead I got a letter apologizing for what happened back then, saying my part was much my setting healthy boundaries, etc. She's been waiting 10 years to say something because I specifically asked 16 years ago for her to never contact me again.

We're going to try this. I want to go slow and I have to learn to trust her again, trust not coming easily to me, but I think I can do this. I'd love to have a relationship sharing all of our history and joy from back then.

Tomorrow I'm going to ask my therapist to help me have ideas about what to say back to my friend. He helped me write the first note in all this so I know he'll be ok with that.

I'm excited and trying to not jump too far ahead.

[~Christina]

Well hallucination are still going strong.. It is so exhausting ..

I had to run into town to pick up Dog food for our big guys.. Gus's puppy food lasts forever. He eats usually about a half cup of food a day or less. He is only 8 lbs

I also decided to treat myself to a new blush and lip gloss. I have all the other makeup I could ever need, I want to wear some while in Florida, Typically I dont wear makeup unless we are going to medical appts or the rare out to dinner. I am happy that there are some nice drugstore makeup now really cheap. I picked up a lip gloss I love the color but oh I forgot that it transfers to everything, I have zero patience for that. Should have paid more attention LOL

Anyone have plans for Labor Day ?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I had something pretty special happen. A few weeks ago I posted about sending a note to my former best friend who pretty much attacked me over BP 17 years ago. I hadn't talked to her in 16 years. I didn't expect much if anything; I was afraid I would get a mean response.

Instead I got a letter apologizing for what happened back then, saying my part was much my setting healthy boundaries, etc. She's been waiting 10 years to say something because I specifically asked 16 years ago for her to never contact me again.

We're going to try this. I want to go slow and I have to learn to trust her again, trust not coming easily to me, but I think I can do this. I'd love to have a relationship sharing all of our history and joy from back then.

Tomorrow I'm going to ask my therapist to help me have ideas about what to say back to my friend. He helped me write the first note in all this so I know he'll be ok with that.

I'm excited and trying to not jump too far ahead.

So glad that you got a response

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Are you all set for starting the new school year??

Many hugs

Yes I am! I am very happy. I haven’t been to work since April 27. I love my job and I was so upset that I couldn’t go back for the end of the school year. I’ve been preparing by waking up early lol last year I didn’t do that and on the first day I was falling asleep all day!

I haven’t tried on my work clothes but I’m about the same weight I was for most of the year last year so it should be good. The only thing I’m unhappy about is the remnants of the hurricane will be coming through so it will be raining very heavily, which makes it hard for me to see. But I count myself lucky that I’m not down south getting the full brunt. Very worried for Louisiana based on what happened with hurricane Katrina all those years ago

[Soupe du jour]

@Mountaindewed, I didn't know there could be an issue with Advil (ibuprofen) and kidney issues. I'll have to ask about that. I have always found ibuprofen the most effective one at curbing menstrual cramps. I admire that you've been doing so much reading. Though I do a fair amount, much of it is online. I haven't really picked up a book of fiction or poetry in ages. I know I should push myself to do so.

@rose1985, the extra 5 lbs might just be related to your period. Perhaps that will quickly disappear when it's over. I know that I can be 3 or more pounds more or less within a 24 hour period from such things. It sounds to me that you are generally doing quite well with your dieting (or however you prefer to call it). Have you ever read of the Zigzag Calorie Cycling? Sometimes alternating low calorie days with slightly higher calorie days can be beneficial to restart weight loss after adapting to very low calorie eating. I haven't really tested it that much, but who knows. I haven't had a real pronounced period of hypomania for a while, either. I know that wishing for it is not necessarily a good idea, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it a teeny bit.

@BeyondtheRainbow, that's nice news to read about your possible reconnection with your friend. I hope it works out well for you and her.

[Soupe du jour]

I haven't written much here about myself for a few days simply because there's been little to report. Perhaps the depression I'd been developing is easing. The extra 25 mg of Lamictal? Placebo effect? Or something else or a combo? Doesn't matter, in the end. But I'm still wondering if I could go up to 150 mg. For one thing, I think there is a 150 mg pill, which would be better than needing two pills to make 125 mg. Also, just a little "higher" would be mighty nice. Maybe that would motivate me to do things I've been avoiding.

Still cooking, as usual. I made a kick butt homemade granola the other day. Best granola I've ever had! Today I am making homemade chicken broth for a chicken veggie orzo soup, for Hubby. He's had a sore throat for a few days and complained this morning that his chest felt funny. He did an at home covid 19 test and it came back negative. I seriously doubted he had covid. We are extremely careful in public (#1), barely go out in public (#2), have been fully vaccinated, plus it's allergy season coming which means respiratory issues for many people. I, myself, have been sneezing up a storm. Really, right now in CZ it's like autumn has arrived. Chilly, at times. Hopefully the soup will ease some of his discomfort. Right now the whole house is full of the aroma.

[Mountaindewed]

@Soupe du jour I’ve been told it’s really dangerous to take. I mean, I do take it when things get really tough since it can often works better then opiates. My doctor also told me a variety of vitamins I shouldn’t be taking either because of my kidneys. I know vitamin E is one of them.