[~Christina]

I'm still really struggling with the loss of my Uncle and my Fathers Birthday ( always will be a rough day) I have been really working on making lists for our trip to Florida so I can try and distract myself.

I still cry over the devastating flood that happened. Such a loss of life and the babies... They found the little 2 year old boy yesterday that has been missing. I just can't imagine how the parents will move forward with out them.

We are leaving the 1st a Wednesday, I see my T at 3 then we are dropping the dogs off to be boarded. I have a list I'm writing up to give to Tina about there food and little things here and there... She is such a nice person I am not worried about leaving them with her at all.

Steve always thinks we will be able to get some sleep early afternoon or at least evening and then head out 11pm'ish.. Years of making these trips to Florida I think it has happened once.

I've told him we are packing super light, I mean we will get there on Thursday and leaving on Sunday so we don't need much at all.

I had my routine appointment with my Rheumatologist yesterday.. I really love him.. I've been having terrible hand pain when I get up that often doesn't get better for 2-3 hours then it becomes tolerable.. He told me to buy another ( I have one) arm brace its arm to wrist to finger brace to keep them straight while sleeping they are very uncomfortable and hot. But I cant really deal with such pain every day. I've not had hot joints but lots of finger joint swelling which he could easily feel. I hate the finger joint swelling I think its so ugly! Steve insists he cant see it.. So I pull out my wedding ring and show him how it wont actually go over the middle joint of my finger.. Men

I just have to say this.. I am really shocked at the lack of sugar free and low carb foods for Diabetic's.. Even foods that are sugar free when you look at the Carbs its a giant NO.. I really think that food companies need to start making more foods that are Diabetic friendly.

I really want to thank everyone for being so kind and supportive. It really means so much

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by BethRags

Caffeine makes me sleepy. I don't know if it's a med reaction or what.

You know how to skateboard? So cool! I wanted to when I was younger, but never caught on.

I’m learning. I haven’t figured it out yet though. It’s going to take a lot of practice. I also get tired with caffeine. I wouldn’t be surprised if a 315 mil caffeine coffee interacted with my Valium. I had a lot of caffeine yesterday and I slept well. I fell asleep 10 minutes before AGT was over and then I woke up at some time to turn off the TV but I slept through the night after that. Well until my usual 4:15 time.

[Sunflower123]

I had a great therapy session yesterday. She was proud of all the changes I’m making: setting boundaries, caring for myself first, speaking up for myself assertively among other things. I have another therapy session today with a different therapist. I need both right now.

I spent a third glorious day floating on a sunny, cloudless day. Very relaxing. I followed that up with a big bowl of blueberries, blackberries, raspberries and cantaloupe. Perfect for a summer day. Today I have a juicy watermelon to enjoy. I’ll have to take up knitting when the pool closes. I’m staying close to home with this Covid surge so no movies, drum circle, bible study, eating out, etc this fall unless something changes.

I’m about to head out to do a bunch of errands for my brother. While I’m out, I’ll make several calls for him. I’m putting a lot of hours in up front to get him set up and to get a routine down. So far so good. I’m getting a lot accomplished. The transportation won’t work out because he can’t get himself on the van so I put in for a lightweight transport chair. I’ll have to drive him to his numerous appointments but at least it will be easier for me to get him in and out.

I wish everyone a peaceful day!

[scatterbrained04]

Feeling down this morning. I keep bouncing around. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster. I feel like I've been texting my bf too much, I'm not sure. I'm sure I've been bothering him.

Getting ready to go to the dentist to get my tooth looked at. Yesterday morning I got worried I lost part of tooth eating breakfast. We'll see. If not, that tooth needed a filling anyway. Going to be an expensive day, unfortunately. Hope I can afford it. Going to work afterward.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I'm still really struggling with the loss of my Uncle and my Fathers Birthday ( always will be a rough day) I have been really working on making lists for our trip to Florida so I can try and distract myself.

I still cry over the devastating flood that happened. Such a loss of life and the babies... They found the little 2 year old boy yesterday that has been missing. I just can't imagine how the parents will move forward with out them.

We are leaving the 1st a Wednesday, I see my T at 3 then we are dropping the dogs off to be boarded. I have a list I'm writing up to give to Tina about there food and little things here and there... She is such a nice person I am not worried about leaving them with her at all.

Steve always thinks we will be able to get some sleep early afternoon or at least evening and then head out 11pm'ish.. Years of making these trips to Florida I think it has happened once.

I've told him we are packing super light, I mean we will get there on Thursday and leaving on Sunday so we don't need much at all.

I had my routine appointment with my Rheumatologist yesterday.. I really love him.. I've been having terrible hand pain when I get up that often doesn't get better for 2-3 hours then it becomes tolerable.. He told me to buy another ( I have one) arm brace its arm to wrist to finger brace to keep them straight while sleeping they are very uncomfortable and hot. But I cant really deal with such pain every day. I've not had hot joints but lots of finger joint swelling which he could easily feel. I hate the finger joint swelling I think its so ugly! Steve insists he cant see it.. So I pull out my wedding ring and show him how it wont actually go over the middle joint of my finger.. Men

I just have to say this.. I am really shocked at the lack of sugar free and low carb foods for Diabetic's.. Even foods that are sugar free when you look at the Carbs its a giant NO.. I really think that food companies need to start making more foods that are Diabetic friendly.

I really want to thank everyone for being so kind and supportive. It really means so much

Hi @~Christina. I hope your upcoming trip is pleasant and without negative issues. After reading about this, it made me think how lucky you and Steve now are that the trip is even possible again. It's been a while, but I recall those months when Steve was extremely sick. And you were struggling a lot then, as well. As you did before, do feel willing to say "No" to anything that seems too much/stressful. I hope you and Steve do manage to catch a few weeks before you set off. That's also great that you see T right before.

Though I don't have joint swelling, my husband also brings up how I don't wear my wedding ring. My reason? I'm about 35 lbs heavier than the day I got married. At one point I struggled to get it off my finger, as it was strangling it. It hasn't gone on since. I do still wear my unofficial engagement ring. Unofficial because Czechs don't have them. I sort of pushed him to at least buy me something like one. Not sure why that still fits.

Thanks for the idea of making our new friend a dinner dish. I have to think more about what it might be. As for the weather, it has cooled down where I am. We even wore light jackets yesterday. Right now (at almost 4 pm) it is 64 F (18 C). It was raining a little.

I once went on a low"ish" carbohydrate diet about nine years ago. I was successful, losing almost 40 lbs in six months. I don't have proper knowledge about diabetic diet requirements, but I can say there are plenty of tasty low sugar/carb goodies out there that can be made at home. They will always be better than any junk they make for sale at stores. Do you mind using sugar substitutes? If not, there are so many options. Low carbers are big fans of cheesecake. I also often made bread puddings, no sugar added smoothies and frapuccinos, lots of fruit with low/no sugar whipped topping, angel food cake made with Swerve sugar substitute, various ricotta desserts, clafoutis, blintzes, fruit tarts, and the like. There are also so many nut-based goodies, including low carb peanut butter cookies. I tended to try to keep things a little lower in fat, but I know many super low carb dieters are quite generous with them. That certainly offers even more options. Some are easier to make than you might think. Others are more work.

As examples, the attached three photos are sweets that I made in the past that used low/no calorie sugar substitutes in place of regular sugars. They were yummy. If you're more of a chocolate fan, there are ideas at The Best Low-Carb & Keto Chocolate Dessert Recipes — Diet Doctor

[Blue_Bird]

Thanks for posting that Soupe Du Jour, I’m also interested in eating less sugar. I may check out some of those recipes and try them. I have a major sweet tooth and need to cut back plus I’d like to lose some weight.

I have stevia powdered sweetener in my cabinet but I’ve never used it really, wasn’t sure how to

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Blue_Bird]

Sorry for your loss Christina

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Soupe du jour]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Thanks for posting that Soupe Du Jour, I’m also interested in eating less sugar. I may check out some of those recipes and try them. I have a major sweet tooth and need to cut back plus I’d like to lose some weight.

I have stevia powdered sweetener in my cabinet but I’ve never used it really, wasn’t sure how to

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi Blue_Bird. You may want to google recipes specifically for the Stevia powdered sweetener. Sometimes different sugar substitutes have varying sweetening levels, so quantities needed may vary. Stevia can be quite sweet, especially if pure. Sometimes they mix it with other sugar subs, like sugar alcohols (i.e. erythritol) to make the quantities needed closer to the volume amount of regular sugar that would normally be needed. Also, sometimes granular works better than powdered types, and vice versa. Some sweets (particularly flour-based things or some custards) depend a little on the sweetener for textural or consistency reasons, while others don't.

[Mountaindewed]

My mom started *****ing at me because there were 3 pieces of cereal on the floor and why didn’t I pick them up and she was just really laying on me about the cereal and then she started going on about other stuff. I mean at least I fix my own meals and I’m always on my own when it comes to food. Then I asked if we could move the chaise lounge out of my room and into the garage, something we had already agreed on the other day. So then we could set up my workout thing. And she starts *****ing at me again about how she’s trying to clean out the garage. I mean why can’t we just put it in the car and go drive it to Goodwill? Why do we need to sell it anyways.

I just felt like it was completely unnecessary to get so upset at me over some cereal. And then she called me to ask me something and just hung up on me afterwards. Wtf is wrong with people today.

My chest hurts today. I assume from the skateboarding. But it’s only the left side. The doctor said I could have pain for up to 6 months but he said it was fine to do sports and stuff.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I am so sorry that she's cut off contact even further with this move.

I can't even imagine how heart breaking this is for you.

I don't know if this would help but maybe continue to write letters and just keep them in a box of some sort maybe the day will come when she's ready to start repairing the relationship and she might want to read them? or if not read just see that you have written her letters all along..

Please be gentle with yourself. Does your T have any advice on how to somehow try and cope with all this ???

Thank you so much, Christina. You are so wise. The letters idea is wonderful!

Mt therapist...she's just very supportive. She encourages me to keep sending my daughter love, loving thoughts. And to be kind to myself. As for my daughter herself, she tells my husband that she needs some time to find herself and know herself independent of me...we truly were extremely close; maybe she feels that she was too dependent on me.

Anyway- thank you

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Ohhhh No

Well she wrong across the board on ALL of it. Shame on her. Ok since she lives in New Mexico could she just be a fill in until your normal office finds someone local? I mean I cant imagine anyone that was seeing your old Pdoc having someone do telehealth for ever and ever?

Sooo many people with BP I and II take a AD..

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Is she going to keep your medications the same??? Since she is out of state can prescribe them all?

Ill make a VooDoo doll of her if you want? Ill be more than happy to stab it daily.

Gentle hugs

HAHAHAHA!!! The voodoo doll sounds perfect!

What a good question, about her being out of state/prescribing. I assume they have something worked out?? My hope is that she's a temporary until the clinic hires a new pdoc. The clinic is moving in September to new digs, a great, big complex. Be nice if they'd hire 2 pdocs.

If she starts changing my meds around I'll be making a second voodoo doll........

Thank you, sweet Christina.

[*Beth*]

Hi Christina, me again. I'm so sorry about your uncle and, yes...birthday anniversaries don't seem to get any easier as the years past. Maybe just a little bit gentler of a grief...

I've lost all my aunts, uncles, and both parents. I feel like an orphan. I think...you know, it's no wonder really old people become tired of living. So much loss.

It's a downright shock to me, how few foods there are for diabetics. I mean, a lot of people are pre-diabetic or diabetic...what's the deal...guess we're supposed to live on lettuce...

Wonderful that you have a rheumatologist that you like! Seems to me that good MD's are more scarce than ever. Or maybe I'm just old and crabby.

I'm sending love to you and no.more.pain. vibes. Okay, that may be unrealistic so I'm sending "much LESS pain" vibes*~**~**~*

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by BethRags

HAHAHAHA!!! The voodoo doll sounds perfect!

What a good question, about her being out of state/prescribing. I assume they have something worked out?? My hope is that she's a temporary until the clinic hires a new pdoc. The clinic is moving in September to new digs, a great, big complex. Be nice if they'd hire 2 pdocs.

If she starts changing my meds around I'll be making a second voodoo doll........

Thank you, sweet Christina.

She sounds like a jerk. I'm sorry about that

(I have also experienced a couple of very.... poor... pdocs They did prescribe something but did little else. (as I'm sure you know I'm now allergic to many meds )

Gentle hugs BethRags

eta a voodoo doll does sound perfect

[Mountaindewed]

I wish I could be productive. All I did today was just hang out and wallow. I’ve had my sensory headphones on most of the day and I’ve been drinking from my Gatorade water bottle all day that I got from Target. They have been helping. My room is spotless and I can’t think of anything that needs to be cleaned. I am avoiding big time on reading my library books. I got a sandwich from Jimmy Johns. An actual bread one and not an unwhich. I ate it too fast though. I took my Valium’s and I’ve been ignoring the news since this morning. Everyone tells me not to watch the news. I usually get the first 3 stories of the day from The Today Show then I turn it off.

They said on the news that they don’t know the nationality’s of the people who died. I mean I get the point of the remark but at the same time I’m like, people just died today

My mood is low today. Last night I snapped out of it though and I finished the noodles and watched most of AGT. Today I’m zapped of energy and I’m kinda down in the dumps again.

I can’t wait until my regular depression mixes in with my SAD and post op depression. I’m glad I made the right choice about work though. Today probably would have been my first shift.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by whatever2013

My first night on 2mg of Valium went fine! I'm 90% off these dreadful dirty narcotic benzos. I slept well and woke up at 5:00am. My moods are all over the place tho. Mixed, i guess. It's very unpleasant. Just got thru several hours of writing in my journal about what a gargoyle i am and how i must be a hermit and cut myself off from the world for my own protection. I went to a public transit rally today and my beloved city councilor did not recognize me tho i did have a sunhat, glasses and mask on and my hair is blue. It's hard to recognize people with lots of headwear on.

Anyways it made me feel small and depressed even tho the rally was good and i enjoyed the outing, there's a small art gallery at city hall i browsed and on the way back i saw the most amusing thing, an old man on the bus with a belt AND major suspenders on! I guess he was REALLY concerned that his pants not fall down! Anyways it was charming, people are so funny!

The Women's Group BBQ is tomorrow at 4:00pm and i have my exquisite bean salad all ready to go and my alcohol-free wine chilling but i feel cautious since today's rejection wounded me so deeply. I don't know if i'm strong enough to go to the BBQ and have to navigate the deep murky social waters. I'll have to play it by ear, it might be okay, everyone will be in the mood to celebrate and on their best behavior. I'll just have to see how my energy goes. I hope i go but i have doubt.

Aw, you should go! I bet you'll end up having a great time.

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

...

Oh, you cruel woman! Those desserts look incredible. The fruit tart...yummm......and it's so pretty!

[Mountaindewed]

I’m so, I don’t even know what I’m feeling. But I will do whatever I need to feel better. But again I’ve had my meds. Well except for the 160mil Geodon. I’ve taken 4 Valium today. I just can’t get out of this depression. I have no idea what I want. I sent an email into my therapist because something has been bugging me all day. I made a thread about it if anyone cares. I feel dirty with myself. I have had caffeine. Not a ton though. Just a coke and a couple mugs of low caffeine tea. So maybe the lack of caffeine is what the issue is. I’m not sure coffee at this time is a good idea. But if it puts me in a better mood maybe I’ll try it.

Edit: I didn’t have any extra calories for coffee. But I had a cherry Vanilla Coke Zero and a rice cake. And I guess I feel a bit better. More alert and slightly less anxious and depressed.

Now everything is back and my mom is super concerned now that I’m working myself into an eating disorder because I just don’t eat much. My body hurts all over right now. I’m tired but I don’t have a fever or any respiratory issues except a slight tightening of my chest. Basically I just have the pain and loss of appetite.

My gynecologists office called the insurance wants me to do the ultrasound first before the final approval. The nurse said it’s just a routine thing and they will still pay for it. Of course I’m freaking out even if my mom and the doctors aren’t. Because that’s just the type of person I am.

been in hospital for the last few days- really struggled with quite a few asspects... especially food and the beds (ugg!)

now spending some time relaxing and readjusting.. actually feeling okay now I've had a good meal and got some of my home comforts back

I went to the BBQ! I had a great time! The woman who hosted it is a true chef of BBQ. I had a chicken breast and grilled zucchini, corn and naan bread. My music went over well (cool jazz). It was just such a joy to do something so... NORMAL. And i don't just mean re COVID, just something that normal, healthy people do. To take part and participate in real life. I had my alcohol-free rosé wine that Pat gave me for my birthday while the other ladies had mojitos. I didn't stay after dinner as there were wasps bothering me but i'm still delighted that i went and took part.

Aces!

@~Christina:

So sorry for your loss and best wishes for a successful trip. The lack of diabetic food is too bad. Food restrictions are sad, i love food. At the BBQ one woman had gluten intolerance and you could see it was hard for her to enjoy herself. I know what it's like from my recent attempt to go vegan it's no fun to have food restrictions. Glad i'm back to being an omnivore now and that food is ubiquitous again. Hope the situation improves for you as you get more skilled at the diabetic diet. In my city they have an entire course at the hospital for new diabetics. It's really a big change in lifestyle.

@Jennifer 1967:

Glad you got some good floating in. I like to float too -- the one good thing about being fat is that i can float effortlessly, endlessly, no floatation device required. When i was thin and fit i sank. Happy to hear you're getting support from your therapists. It's too bad transportation for your brother is still an obstacle but a transportation chair will be a help at least.

@Soupe du jour:

You blow me away! Your desserts look soooooo scrumptious and your knowledge of baking is astounding!

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

...

Have you heard about the new Mountain Dew that's spicy?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Feeling down this morning. I keep bouncing around. I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster. I feel like I've been texting my bf too much, I'm not sure. I'm sure I've been bothering him.

Getting ready to go to the dentist to get my tooth looked at. Yesterday morning I got worried I lost part of tooth eating breakfast. We'll see. If not, that tooth needed a filling anyway. Going to be an expensive day, unfortunately. Hope I can afford it. Going to work afterward.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

How'd it go with the dentist?

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

She sounds like a jerk. I'm sorry about that

(I have also experienced a couple of very.... poor... pdocs They did prescribe something but did little else. (as I'm sure you know I'm now allergic to many meds )

Gentle hugs BethRags

eta a voodoo doll does sound perfect

Thank you, Fuzzy dear. Yes, the new doctor seems like one of those you've described. Grrr....

[scatterbrained04]

Originally Posted by BethRags

How'd it go with the dentist?

I got a filling done. They gave me a lot of injections. My mouth has been aching, so maybe from that. I might have to have a crown ($1350 yikes). Didn't do the crown today because it was so much money. Also because I wasn't 100% sure the discomfort I was having wasn't all in my head, and I'm not sure they saw anything to confirm I had a small crack. I have another tooth that needs filled too. $$ I don't have dental insurance.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

[*Beth*]

I'm still churning about my new medication doctor (she's not a psychiatrist, but is a D.O.). I do believe she's temporary, but I gather that "temporary" will be for the remainder of this year.


I had a session with my therapist today and I just didn't feel like talking. I told her I didn't, and asked her if she'd tell me something about her life. She surprised me and did tell me what led up to her decision, at age 50, to become a therapist. It was a fun session, nice break in routine.

I'm still learning how to give my newly-diagnosed diabetic kitty her insulin shots. She's such a sweetheart, never scratches or bites. I try so hard not to hurt her when I inject, but I know she feels the needle.

We've been having gorgeous summer weather (although some days of smoke and ashes), but tomorrow will be 100 degrees. *sigh*

[*Beth*]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

been in hospital for the last few days- really struggled with quite a few asspects... especially food and the beds (ugg!)

now spending some time relaxing and readjusting.. actually feeling okay now I've had a good meal and got some of my home comforts back

Yes, my memory of IP beds is not fond.

I'm glad you're home, rv