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#501
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I have been sleeping a lot,. Which honestly is a good thing because I spent the past 2 months barely sleeping. It's been 4 full days since the mood stabilizer increase. It's making me really tired but I know it will wear off eventually. I'm probably worn out from my day out yesterday too, I hardly ever go anywhere or walk that much, and I'm an introvert and have social anxiety so socializing is difficult for me, I'm glad I went though, I always feel better after I get out of my comfort zone. Even as an introvert I do get lonely sometimes, living by myself in my apartment and not really going anywhere or having many friends nearby. Maybe I'm not a total introvert, maybe I'm an ambivert which is a combination of extrovert and introvert. Because I do thoroughly enjoy the time I spend with people when I am able to, it's just that my social anxiety and agoraphobia tendencies make things a little difficult, but when I'm able to get over those issues and actually socialize I do feel really good.
I have a package coming with my new tenor ukulele. I have a soprano ukulele, but I wanted to try out the bigger size so I ordered a tenor. It says they tried to deliver it, but they tried to deliver it to a city next to my city this morning, and were unsuccessful, obviously because I don't live there, which is weird because my address and zip code are all correct, so I don't see why they would do that. But I talked to Amazon customer service and they said they're going to reschedule delivery to tomorrow and she said she left a note for the carrier with the correct address, so hopefully this time it works out. I paid off my library late fee so I can finally start getting books and movies from there again ![]() I hope everyone is doing okay ![]() ![]()
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() *Beth*, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123, ~Christina
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#502
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() *Beth*
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![]() *Beth*
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#503
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Bali bras online is having a sale. I ordered a much need one and it came yesterday but I have lost more weight that I thought I had so back it goes for a smaller size.. But the bra was made very well, Bali has a good standard of product. Maybe your Mom could find something there? The price of Gas has me a nervous wreck to be honest. There is no reason that its going sky high, none at all ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() *Beth*, Nammu, Sunflower123
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![]() *Beth*, Nammu, Sunflower123
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#504
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Steve and I have our 3 month Diabetic check up tomorrow. I am pretty certain my medication will need to be increased as Geodon and Seroquel have already driven my numbers up
![]() I started reading a book on trauma and how to heal from it " The body keeps the score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD. So far its a good book. I got a taste of Fall today.. Oh I want more and more ![]() Hugs to anyone in need ![]()
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, Blue_Bird, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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![]() *Beth*, MuddyBoots, Soupe du jour, Sunflower123
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#505
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About to go to the dentist.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() Blue_Bird, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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#506
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Good luck! I need to go soon and I'm dreading it
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() Nammu
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#507
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Well all they did is say they couldn't find anything! They touched some instrument to that tooth and the ones surrounding it saying it had something to do with a root canal- that they most definitely di NOT do!- and I raised my hand both times he touched my teeth to say that it hurt. He said this was normal. So he gave me a flouride treatment for free and I left. No payment necessary! Now I feel like an idiot for going in. He said my prescription toothpaste should take care of sensitivity of all my teeth.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() *Beth*, Blue_Bird, MuddyBoots, ~Christina
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![]() Blue_Bird
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#508
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At this point I wish I was on 3mg Klonopin, rather than 2mg. I'll run it by new pdoc, but I doubt she'll go for it - even though my previous pdoc wanted me to go on 3, at least for a short time. A mocha would fix every problem I have ![]()
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![]() ~Christina
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#509
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What a beauty!
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#510
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One of the most difficult med side effects to me is the overheating. It's miserably uncomfortable and can be embarrassing.
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![]() Nammu, Soupe du jour
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![]() Nammu, Soupe du jour
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#511
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Yeah it is embarrassing I was once asked if it wasn’t late in my life to be having hot flashes!
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() *Beth*, Blue_Bird, Soupe du jour
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#512
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How rude ![]()
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![]() Nammu
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#513
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My therapist has me reading The Body Keeps The Score. It is a really good book. My sister came over to help today so I was inside all day working hard. I missed the first taste of fall. ![]() Hugs to you as well. ![]() |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, Nammu, ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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#514
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You can get hot flashes from various things. Meds, coffee... not just from menopause or perimenopause.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() Nammu
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![]() *Beth*, Nammu
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#515
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My sister was off work today since the banks were closed. She brought two meals, helped me with the house, mother and brother. She gave mom a sponge bath and washed her hair and in general put up with endless demands. Her help was greatly appreciated. We got a lot accomplished. She has really stepped up her game and is trying to help in any way she can. I’m going to sleep in a clean, organized room tonight. It feels good.
I hope everyone has a peaceful day tomorrow. ![]() |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, Blue_Bird, buddha1too, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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![]() *Beth*, MuddyBoots
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#516
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I'm angry today. Someone threatened one of "my kids" today. (I have many kids I know that I consider "My kids") Luckily I was told about it not that it was directly said to me because I'm not good at holding my thoughts today. I got into an several argument on FB today. I'm so angry right now.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
![]() *Beth*, Blue_Bird, Mountaindewed, MuddyBoots, Soupe du jour, ~Christina
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#517
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Sleeping less, feeling more agitated, paranoid, disorganized, and restless lately. Taking as much thorazine as often as I can, it helps a lot.
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"I don't know what I'm looking for." "Why not?" "Because...because...I think it might be because if I knew I wouldn't be able to look for them." "What, are you crazy?" "It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet," |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, Blue_Bird, Mountaindewed, Nammu, ~Christina
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#518
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I’m going on the 28th for a $300 cleaning and X-rays. I saw him for an emergency consultation in September because I was having pain. He told me my teeth are ok there’s just some buildup from not going since February 2020. But from what he can see things aren’t that bad.
I hope he’s right.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka |
#519
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I woke up around 4am today and couldn't get back to sleep. I'm exhausted now. Just did some laundry. My new tenor ukulele was delivered today
![]() I've been looking in my storage closet and it's honestly kind of a mess in there/cluttered. I have a bunch of art books I love but I no longer use because I'm not really serious about drawing anymore and haven't been for several years. It would probably be best to donate them. I need to just let them and some other stuff go and clear out some space because it's causing me anxiety. I'm trying to be a tad more minimalistic. I'll never be a total minimalist, but I'd like to be a little less materialistic.
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, Mountaindewed, Nammu, ~Christina
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![]() *Beth*
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#520
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I went to Krispie Kreme today to get their Halloween donuts. I got a dozen of them and they came in a Halloween box that was supposed to look like a spell book. I had one that looked like a witches cauldron. It was a black cake chocolate one with green cream on the top to look the brew and it also had sprinkles and it had a pretzel stick sticking out of the cream to look like a broom. It was good. Usually Krispie Kreme donuts cause major stomach cramps for me. But I’m not feeling sick from it. So idk. Krispie Kreme is kind of far but I made the trip ok.
I should be getting an Amazon delivery today but it doesn’t say that it’s out for delivery. So maybe it’s coming Tommorow. I know things are going to be really screwy at least until the holidays are over. I heard on the news that there is a 16% shortage on beverages and a 14% shortage on snack foods. The beverage section like the juices are practically empty. I did find a decent supply of rice cakes today though but there were still only 3 kinds. I managed to get a good supply of Gatorade on the 1st. But so far all I have today is a headache. I did take 2 extra strength Tylenol before we left. So that may be why my pain isn’t really there. I think the headache is weather related and not donut related. Because those donuts do often make me feel pretty flu like sick and I have no idea why. My libido has been insane since getting my hysterectomy. This is the highest it’s been since starting my injections in March 2020. I’m having thoughts that I can never speak of to anyone. Even with a therapist it would be super awkward if I didn’t know her really really well and knew how she’d respond. Luckily leaving the house for a couple hours seems to have distracted me. It was all I was thinking of for like 3 days when I was just sitting at home.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka Last edited by Mountaindewed; Oct 12, 2021 at 01:10 PM. |
![]() *Beth*
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#521
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My mother visited for Thanksgiving on Sunday. It was nice for our family to be together.
We saw the new Bond movie, No Time to Die. The movie was good and I can see that they are updating the franchise to be more current in terms of what's happening in the world (nothing about covid, just changing times and audience expectations). I've been thinking a lot about what my life, and I'm sure many others here, is like. For a "normal" person (someone without known mental health issues) life can be a simple relationship that lives between what you put into it, you get out of it. For example if they want to get stronger, put in exercise and get out a stronger body. For me on the other hand, I feel awful most of the time, gripped with depression and anxiety. So the question is, what do you put in to get the result of feeling better? Exercise? Meditation? Sleep? Listen to music? Self care? Positive thinking? Vitamins? Get a hobby? Hang out with friends? Work? The thing is, I've tried all those things and continue to do them even though they have done nothing to help improve my mood. The relationship between what you put in and get out of life is clearly broken by bipolar. I have a really hard time explaining this to my wife and family. I'm not looking for solutions, I'm just making a general comment on many of our situations. Thanks for reading.
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* Dx: Bipolar II (finally, after years at Bipolar NOS) * Rx: minimal dose of Lamictal My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
![]() *Beth*, Anonymous45023, Mountaindewed, Nammu, Soupe du jour, VerMOZZica, wildflowerchild25, ~Christina
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![]() ~Christina
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#522
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It’s past 2 and I just now took my first Valium because my anxiety has been so mild all day. This surgery really is helping quite a lot. Besides the out of control libido thing. I do need to remember to stay on a schedule with food and meds. Since I may have a headache from not having any Valium in 24 hours.
We got 6 cases of soda at the store today. 3 mountain dews for me and 3 diet Coke’s for my mom and brother. My mom wouldn’t let me lift the cases even though I felt like I could. I guess I really shouldn’t push it until I get the doctors ok. No matter how good I am feeling. The generic brand of Tylenol works pretty good though to be honest. I often find generic stuff to be better then name brand. I’m losing weight fast but my shirts are getting smaller. That’s supposed to happen. My weight is supposed to shift to my stomach. But I hope It doesn’t happen too badly because I spent about $100 on fall clothes earlier this year. I hope my stomach is still just swollen from the surgery and it will go down. My package finally is saying it’s out for delivery and it says it should be here between half and hour and 6PM.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka Last edited by Mountaindewed; Oct 12, 2021 at 01:45 PM. |
![]() *Beth*
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#523
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Finally got a message to my pdoc. Had to talk with someone in clinical coverage first but he was nice. Pdoc will call me back at some point. Also, my case manager may call me back.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 3 mg Gabapentin 300 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily Mania Sept/Oct 2024 Mania (July/August 2024) Mania (December 2023) Mixed episode/Hypomania (September 2023) Depression, Anxiety and Intrusive thoughts (September 2021) Depression & Psychosis (July/August 2021) |
![]() *Beth*, Mountaindewed, ~Christina
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#524
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My husband and I will still be away from home for a few days. Neither of us felt our best today, but Hubby worse in the first part of the day. Me, in the evening. I had extreme chills out of nowhere, starting around 5 pm. It took a huge effort to finally warm up. You can't imagine the number of layers I wore and had on top of me. Then, suddenly hot as blue blazes. Hubby said he didn't feel a fever. I'm wondering if perhaps some seasonal sinusitis is to blame. I felt hints coming on a few days ago, and I have a long history of it, especially in autumn. I've also had an abnormally long period this month, albeit light these past five days. That's another thing I've experienced in the past, and it checked out OK. Haven't again until this month after over a year.
I barely ate dinner, but now felt a little hungry. A couple caramel biscuits and a hotel pillow chocolate were helpful. Hubby doesn't like this "vacation" even though it was all his idea. I've tried to be positive. More so than him. @Scooter9, your questions are good ones for us all to contemplate. You may even wish to post them in a thread of its own, so it isn't overlooked. I'm a little too tired to respond right now as it's almost 9:30 pm where I am, and I'm a little under the weather right now.
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Dx: Bipolar type 1 Psych Medications: * Tegretol XR (carbamazepine ER) 800 mg * Lamictal (lamotrigine) 150 mg * Seroquel XR (quetiapine ER) 500 mg I also take meds for blood pressure, cholesterol, and tachycardia. Last edited by Soupe du jour; Oct 12, 2021 at 02:19 PM. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, ~Christina
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![]() Nammu, Scooter9
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#525
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My mom was talking about wills and trusts today. I am considered part of the group that will be in a special needs fund. I don’t totally get everything but my sister is the trustee after my mom dies and then if something happens to my sister or if she is unable to do it my 59 year old uncle who lives really far away will be the next trustee. I’ve only seen him once in 2 years. I’m wondering why it wouldn’t be my aunt who I see all the time or even my other uncle who I’m very close to. I mean wouldn’t you get someone who knows a bit more about the situation then someone who lives on the other side of the country who you see maybe once every 2 years?
Or maybe even my brother in law. I’ll have to ask her why she decided on him. It just seems kind of random tbh. She said because he’s a lawyer in estates and wills and trusts. So he knows this stuff. She said the distance doesn’t matter. He doesn’t need to live near us to do anything. Plus she said he’s 10 years younger then her and 8 years younger then my uncle and 7 years younger then my aunt. To her it make sense and I guess that’s all that matters.
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"Good morning starshine.... the earth says hello"- Willy Wonka Last edited by Mountaindewed; Oct 12, 2021 at 02:33 PM. |
![]() *Beth*
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