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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 03:13 PM
  #501
I have been sleeping a lot,. Which honestly is a good thing because I spent the past 2 months barely sleeping. It's been 4 full days since the mood stabilizer increase. It's making me really tired but I know it will wear off eventually. I'm probably worn out from my day out yesterday too, I hardly ever go anywhere or walk that much, and I'm an introvert and have social anxiety so socializing is difficult for me, I'm glad I went though, I always feel better after I get out of my comfort zone. Even as an introvert I do get lonely sometimes, living by myself in my apartment and not really going anywhere or having many friends nearby. Maybe I'm not a total introvert, maybe I'm an ambivert which is a combination of extrovert and introvert. Because I do thoroughly enjoy the time I spend with people when I am able to, it's just that my social anxiety and agoraphobia tendencies make things a little difficult, but when I'm able to get over those issues and actually socialize I do feel really good.

I have a package coming with my new tenor ukulele. I have a soprano ukulele, but I wanted to try out the bigger size so I ordered a tenor. It says they tried to deliver it, but they tried to deliver it to a city next to my city this morning, and were unsuccessful, obviously because I don't live there, which is weird because my address and zip code are all correct, so I don't see why they would do that. But I talked to Amazon customer service and they said they're going to reschedule delivery to tomorrow and she said she left a note for the carrier with the correct address, so hopefully this time it works out.

I paid off my library late fee so I can finally start getting books and movies from there again I have a few horror movies I requested and a couple books hopefully coming in within the next couple of days. They were all shipped from other libraries in the county. I'm excited to carve some pumpkins next week! I got some battery operated tealight candles for them since we can't have open flames in our apartments.

I hope everyone is doing okay

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 03:21 PM
  #502
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I miss my psychiatrist and I'm sorry I got stuck with the dud I have to see now. I heard that the clinic hired a new pdoc, but I haven't seen him around the clinic. Maybe he'll start work later this month.


The weather is gorgeous, low 70's, but there's a fierce wind blowing. It's a "there goes my hair" day.

I wish I had the money to buy a mocha from a cafe, but I don't have even $3.


I've been riding a rickety old roller coaster for the past weeks. For example, I wake up an anxious mess. That lasts for a while, then I feel pretty good. Then back to the anxiety, and so on. Up, down, up, down. I feel like screaming. And any minute the roller coaster could fall apart.

I really need my stimulus check. Like, desperately. I think it's only in California, I don't think it's federal.


I'm pretty sure that some of the meds I'm on cause cognitive issues. I can't retain information for more than a minute. I have to keep re-checking whatever I'm doing because I keep forgetting

Hugs all around
Hopefully the new Pdoc will be a good fit I know you went back up on your Klonipin maybe that needs a few days to level back up? I dunno just a thought ! I so hear you on a Mocha

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 03:28 PM
  #503
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I ran errands today, it’s coolish, in the 60’s with no sun so I thought I’d be fine with a hoodie. Instead I got overheated. Sometimes I hate my meds. I put my T-shirt back on now and I’m cooler. I had to return three requests back to the library half read cause they all came at the same time. All of them tiny print and huge books. Took my new pants to the seamstress, she does a fantastic job and only charges $6. Very much worth it. Returned mum’s bra. She keeps buying them too small around. If I hadn’t been so hot I would have gone and looked for a couple for her. But I really think her needs to get them on line. I’m trying to talk her into it. Made a giant loop around town, I prefer that to running back and forth, especially now that gas is going up again. I think we’re about to have a giant inflation hit us.
We finally got a cooler day. I was on the porch soaking it up. Wow $6 is cheap !!

Bali bras online is having a sale. I ordered a much need one and it came yesterday but I have lost more weight that I thought I had so back it goes for a smaller size.. But the bra was made very well, Bali has a good standard of product. Maybe your Mom could find something there?

The price of Gas has me a nervous wreck to be honest. There is no reason that its going sky high, none at all

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 03:41 PM
  #504
Steve and I have our 3 month Diabetic check up tomorrow. I am pretty certain my medication will need to be increased as Geodon and Seroquel have already driven my numbers up

I started reading a book on trauma and how to heal from it " The body keeps the score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD. So far its a good book.

I got a taste of Fall today.. Oh I want more and more

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 03:50 PM
  #505
About to go to the dentist.

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 03:54 PM
  #506
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About to go to the dentist.
Good luck! I need to go soon and I'm dreading it

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 04:55 PM
  #507
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Good luck! I need to go soon and I'm dreading it
Well all they did is say they couldn't find anything! They touched some instrument to that tooth and the ones surrounding it saying it had something to do with a root canal- that they most definitely di NOT do!- and I raised my hand both times he touched my teeth to say that it hurt. He said this was normal. So he gave me a flouride treatment for free and I left. No payment necessary! Now I feel like an idiot for going in. He said my prescription toothpaste should take care of sensitivity of all my teeth.

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 05:46 PM
  #508
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Hopefully the new Pdoc will be a good fit I know you went back up on your Klonipin maybe that needs a few days to level back up? I dunno just a thought ! I so hear you on a Mocha

At this point I wish I was on 3mg Klonopin, rather than 2mg. I'll run it by new pdoc, but I doubt she'll go for it - even though my previous pdoc wanted me to go on 3, at least for a short time.

A mocha would fix every problem I have

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 05:57 PM
  #509
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This is my eldest's cat! She's so soft and pretty!

What a beauty!

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 06:02 PM
  #510
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I ran errands today, it’s coolish, in the 60’s with no sun so I thought I’d be fine with a hoodie. Instead I got overheated. Sometimes I hate my meds. I put my T-shirt back on now and I’m cooler. I had to return three requests back to the library half read cause they all came at the same time. All of them tiny print and huge books. Took my new pants to the seamstress, she does a fantastic job and only charges $6. Very much worth it. Returned mum’s bra. She keeps buying them too small around. If I hadn’t been so hot I would have gone and looked for a couple for her. But I really think her needs to get them on line. I’m trying to talk her into it. Made a giant loop around town, I prefer that to running back and forth, especially now that gas is going up again. I think we’re about to have a giant inflation hit us.

One of the most difficult med side effects to me is the overheating. It's miserably uncomfortable and can be embarrassing.

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 06:06 PM
  #511
Yeah it is embarrassing I was once asked if it wasn’t late in my life to be having hot flashes!

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 06:21 PM
  #512
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Yeah it is embarrassing I was once asked if it wasn’t late in my life to be having hot flashes!

How rude

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 06:57 PM
  #513
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Steve and I have our 3 month Diabetic check up tomorrow. I am pretty certain my medication will need to be increased as Geodon and Seroquel have already driven my numbers up

I started reading a book on trauma and how to heal from it " The body keeps the score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD. So far its a good book.

I got a taste of Fall today.. Oh I want more and more

Hugs to anyone in need
I hope your check up goes well tomorrow for you both.

My therapist has me reading The Body Keeps The Score. It is a really good book.

My sister came over to help today so I was inside all day working hard. I missed the first taste of fall. Maybe tomorrow.

Hugs to you as well.
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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 07:09 PM
  #514
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Yeah it is embarrassing I was once asked if it wasn’t late in my life to be having hot flashes!
You can get hot flashes from various things. Meds, coffee... not just from menopause or perimenopause.

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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 07:15 PM
  #515
My sister was off work today since the banks were closed. She brought two meals, helped me with the house, mother and brother. She gave mom a sponge bath and washed her hair and in general put up with endless demands. Her help was greatly appreciated. We got a lot accomplished. She has really stepped up her game and is trying to help in any way she can. I’m going to sleep in a clean, organized room tonight. It feels good.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day tomorrow.
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Default Oct 11, 2021 at 07:29 PM
  #516
I'm angry today. Someone threatened one of "my kids" today. (I have many kids I know that I consider "My kids") Luckily I was told about it not that it was directly said to me because I'm not good at holding my thoughts today. I got into an several argument on FB today. I'm so angry right now.

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Default Oct 12, 2021 at 04:23 AM
  #517
Sleeping less, feeling more agitated, paranoid, disorganized, and restless lately. Taking as much thorazine as often as I can, it helps a lot.

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Default Oct 12, 2021 at 08:51 AM
  #518
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About to go to the dentist.
I’m going on the 28th for a $300 cleaning and X-rays. I saw him for an emergency consultation in September because I was having pain. He told me my teeth are ok there’s just some buildup from not going since February 2020. But from what he can see things aren’t that bad.

I hope he’s right.

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Default Oct 12, 2021 at 08:56 AM
  #519
I woke up around 4am today and couldn't get back to sleep. I'm exhausted now. Just did some laundry. My new tenor ukulele was delivered today Tuned it. Probably not practicing today because I'm too tired but I definitely will tomorrow.

I've been looking in my storage closet and it's honestly kind of a mess in there/cluttered. I have a bunch of art books I love but I no longer use because I'm not really serious about drawing anymore and haven't been for several years. It would probably be best to donate them. I need to just let them and some other stuff go and clear out some space because it's causing me anxiety. I'm trying to be a tad more minimalistic. I'll never be a total minimalist, but I'd like to be a little less materialistic.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Tenorukulele.jpg (397.6 KB, 10 views)

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Default Oct 12, 2021 at 12:25 PM
  #520
I went to Krispie Kreme today to get their Halloween donuts. I got a dozen of them and they came in a Halloween box that was supposed to look like a spell book. I had one that looked like a witches cauldron. It was a black cake chocolate one with green cream on the top to look the brew and it also had sprinkles and it had a pretzel stick sticking out of the cream to look like a broom. It was good. Usually Krispie Kreme donuts cause major stomach cramps for me. But I’m not feeling sick from it. So idk. Krispie Kreme is kind of far but I made the trip ok.

I should be getting an Amazon delivery today but it doesn’t say that it’s out for delivery. So maybe it’s coming Tommorow. I know things are going to be really screwy at least until the holidays are over. I heard on the news that there is a 16% shortage on beverages and a 14% shortage on snack foods. The beverage section like the juices are practically empty. I did find a decent supply of rice cakes today though but there were still only 3 kinds. I managed to get a good supply of Gatorade on the 1st.

But so far all I have today is a headache. I did take 2 extra strength Tylenol before we left. So that may be why my pain isn’t really there. I think the headache is weather related and not donut related. Because those donuts do often make me feel pretty flu like sick and I have no idea why.

My libido has been insane since getting my hysterectomy. This is the highest it’s been since starting my injections in March 2020. I’m having thoughts that I can never speak of to anyone. Even with a therapist it would be super awkward if I didn’t know her really really well and knew how she’d respond. Luckily leaving the house for a couple hours seems to have distracted me. It was all I was thinking of for like 3 days when I was just sitting at home.

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