Bipolar check-in #61

I’m over being cold everywhere I go. I hate it!! I’m ready for spring. I’m also not ready to be another year older

I'm currently in India and would send you some heat if I could. It gets into the 90s here, and most places don't have air conditioning.

Since I found out that my love loves me back it’s been like a whirlwind. It really is true never say never. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I need to come back down to earth soon and get caught up on things.

I’ll be meeting my daughter in a couple of weeks half way. It will be good to see her.

My elbow injection is finally coming up on January 13th. Hallelujah! This tendon injury hurts!

Bible study is about to start back and I’m going to an event soon where we will journal, tell stories, drum and howl. Yes howl. How fun! I’m skipping the $5 movies for now because my city is surging in Coronavirus.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.

@BethRags, that is great news about your free insulin for your kitty! Vet and pet medication prices are horribly high. When our last parrot died (at the vet's office) we were left with extreme grief and a bill literally for $1,000. The big cost was from tests that determined why he got sick. It was important to know, but ugh! @whatever2013, sending well wishes that your doggy has something minor and not diabetes.

@Jennifer 1967, ahhh the beauties of falling in love! My 66 year old sister-in-law has recently fallen head over heals for a man in her neighborhood. We now don't hear from her as often as she's much busier. When I took a hike with her over the holidays she was like a giddy school girl.

@downandlonely, it's cold where I am in Czech Republic, but I have experienced the extreme heat in southeast Asia, in the past. I remember being in Thailand in the month of April. Brutal! It made my native state of New Jersey's hot humid summers seem like spring weather.

In less than 30 minutes, I'm having an online meeting/interview with an instructor from a Czech language school. I plan to study Czech online, initially. I'm actually a touch nervous, but it's the right move to get going. Someday I'll move to in-person classes. Could be a continuation of Czech, or maybe someday French. We'll see.

Next Wednesday Hubby gets his 3rd covid booster shot. As for me? Maybe. The government support rep was supposed to call yesterday, but didn't. The woman there said that I could try going with Hubby and seeing if they could sign me up and give the 3rd booster on the spot. [Not the official method of registering.] Wish me luck. The whole hassle for me has been a result of an IT type system glitch. I am in their system, though. I have the certificate proving my first two boosters.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour ... In less than 30 minutes, I'm having an online meeting/interview with an instructor from a Czech language school. I plan to study Czech online, initially. I'm actually a touch nervous, but it's the right move to get going. Someday I'll move to in-person classes. Could be a continuation of Czech, or maybe someday French. We'll see. ...

Good luck! That sounds exciting!

@~Christina
I feel you on not being able to remember anything! I can remember teachers from elementary and sixth grade but after that there’s only a few, the ones who touched me personally. I can’t remember too many of my college professors names. And I HATE running into people who know me by name but I have no idea who they are or where I might know them from. Names especially elude me, maybe because I rarely look people directly in the face for very long. I also have big gaps in memory of experiences I’ve had. Once my first husband and I went to Lancaster PA for a weekend trip and I only know that because it pops up on my Facebook memories. I have no memory of it at all. Of course I did have three series of bilateral ECT so I think that definitely contributes.

@whatever2013
I hope your dog does not have diabetes. That would definitely be very stressful. And expensive, most likely. Sending out good vibes!

I’ve been up since 4. It snowed all night and through the early morning and standard commute time so I was waiting for a robocall telling us what to do. I was sure my job was going to let us work from home but no, of course not! They delayed by one hour only. The students are completely virtual right now and aren’t even in the building! I was so incensed I couldn’t go back to sleep. My son’s program was closed though so I had to call out. IDGAF, I didn’t want to fight through all the side streets anyway. It’s melting now though because even though it’s only 34 degrees it is sunny. That’s good, I wanted to go out and get a yoga mat if I can find one. I also need to go to the post office and mail a couple of Christmas gifts since I can’t see these family members any time soon.

I decided to call the local SSA office instead of the national line and I got through in ten minutes instead of a over an hour like I was expecting! I got good news, I don’t lose the death benefits for my son even though I’m married and I don’t have to send in my driver’s license to change my name by mail either. I’m excited to leave my first husband’s name behind and start anew.

I didnt sleep the greatest again. I fell asleep from 7-2:15. I took some extra stuff but it didnt help me sleep better or make me feel better today like it normally does. My mom is really notcing my valium issue now and she just told me now to be careful with them. I got out of the house because I wont want to go out this weekend. I didnt find the shirts I was looking for but I found some mega Goldfish crackers and a piece of rainbow cake I cut into 4 slices when I got home. I'm not sure whats up with my mood today. I'm crabby but for no real reason. It hasn't been therapy related in awhile and if its not threapy related then I'm just at a loss about why I feel this way.

I don't know. Maybe all this caffeine is just getting to me. It sucks to have both a benzo and a caffeine addiction. Plus sleep issues on top of it. Where do I even begin to fix things. At least I'm not fat.

I looked at my food log and realized I have had nothing but, crackers, that small piece of cake, and one egg bite today. And I had a ton of zero sugar sodas and an iced tea. So I just ate 2 pouches of tuna and I feel better anxiety wise. But I'm still tired.

Temp is 15 here with windchill of 5 degrees. Gross.

I havent been sleeping well. I’m over it!

Here it’s -2F with -17F windchill. I’m not leaving the house. Tomorrow it’s supposed to warm up to 23 or so. I’ll go out then to get mum’s brown sugar. She wants to bake cookies but there’s not enough brown sugar.

I slept horrible last night. From midnight to 3am, as a consequence I’m not feeling like vacuuming the bedrooms. Should have done that yesterday when I vacuumed the rest of the house. When I did sleep I had dreams of car crashes. In slow motion. I was in the drivers seat but I couldn’t reach the brakes.

My therapy session went well. We had a lot to talk about but overall we are seeing a lot of improvement. I contribute a lot of it to therapeutic skills, but also medications that are just working for me. I do have some concerns about if I do start working again, how I will afford therapy and my medicines -- but that's still probably a ways away. At least looking forward, I am contemplating good, positive changes in my life, right? I've been doing a lot of walking and light exercise. I really do enjoy walking a lot, just not in the cold. For Christmas I got an apple watch that is really nice to help keep up with exercise/movement metrics. I really do think this year will be a better one health wise-- mental and physical. I need to find something I don't mind doing exercise wise I can do indoors, though when it's freezing as it is now haha.

Nammu, I'm sorry about your yucky dreams. I have had similar - I'm driving (sometimes in reverse) and cannot make the brakes work. Not pleasant, at all.

We'll have a high of 54 degrees and grey today. It feels almost too warm, yet chilly enough to sometimes run the heater. We so need more real rain, not just tiny showers here and there. Yesterday I saw a patch of poppies blooming already! They don't usually bloom until March.

I'm sorry to hear that Sidney Portier has died. He was one very special man. My eldest sister will be sad - she's had a crush on him forever. Her husband playfully teases her about it.

My niece is an acupuncturist and runs her own clinic. Yesterday she emailed notifications that all patients must wear a medical mask while in the clinic. No cloth or paper masks. I'm thinking that businesses/medical facilities here may start requiring people to wear medical masks. I sure hope not. I've so had enough of having to wear just a fabric mask.

I literally just made a list yesterday of old celebirtys who were still alive but I forgot Sidney. My mom says sometimes you just forget some people are still alive.

Beth, I sure hope California get some more winter rain and snow in the mountains. It would take constant rain to begin healing the landscape.

On about day 6 of having covid. Feel a lot better today, but I don't want to jinx it. Such a weird virus. Has to be man made. Looking forward to being able to sleep until I wake up tomorrow. Have been taking ambien every night so I could get adequate rest. So far my son hasn't come down sick. My boyfriend is supposed to drop off a couple things for me later. The isolation is really getting to me, so hopefully we can chat from a distance for a few minutes. It's cold so probably not for very long.

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My dog is healthy today! I had been trying to switch her over to a bargain-brand type of food from her expensive type and i guess the junky food really set her off. I changed her back to the expensive brand today and she is fine. I went to the vet and got a new bag and started her back with her food delivery service so i'll never run out and have to face this again. Wow, what a rollercoaster having a pet is! It must be ten times worse with kids. Lucky i never had them. Snuggled lots with my dog today and chattered to her. I've been feeling too down lately to do either so it was nice to get back to it. Took her out and let her play in the snow!

I am working on my last assignment for my 12 day condensed class. Homework due every day wasnt TOO bad. Death, Dying and Bereavement was interesting. If i could just get this last paper done. Its been a lot.

Regular spring classes start monday so my boyfriend and i are going to eat out sunday! texas roadhouse mmmmm gonna get me a steak!

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Originally Posted by scatterbrained04 On about day 6 of having covid. Feel a lot better today, but I don't want to jinx it. Such a weird virus. Has to be man made. Looking forward to being able to sleep until I wake up tomorrow. Have been taking ambien every night so I could get adequate rest. So far my son hasn't come down sick. My boyfriend is supposed to drop off a couple things for me later. The isolation is really getting to me, so hopefully we can chat from a distance for a few minutes. It's cold so probably not for very long. Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

I can imagine how hard it is to be isolated. Being sick is bad enough without having to seclude yourself. Hang in there - I'm glad you're feeling better!

WOO HOO!!!!!! I finished my paper!! i am DONE with this class. If I do well on this paper I will pass this class with an A! It is cooooooold here but supposed to warm up and rain tomorrow.

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013 My dog is healthy today! I had been trying to switch her over to a bargain-brand type of food from her expensive type and i guess the junky food really set her off. I changed her back to the expensive brand today and she is fine. I went to the vet and got a new bag and started her back with her food delivery service so i'll never run out and have to face this again. Wow, what a rollercoaster having a pet is! It must be ten times worse with kids. Lucky i never had them. Snuggled lots with my dog today and chattered to her. I've been feeling too down lately to do either so it was nice to get back to it. Took her out and let her play in the snow!

Great news on your pup! Type of food is so important for animals. Actually, in some ways pets are more difficult than children.

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Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 WOO HOO!!!!!! I finished my paper!! i am DONE with this class. If I do well on this paper I will pass this class with an A! It is cooooooold here but supposed to warm up and rain tomorrow.

***FANTASTIC!***

So I'm either really anxious or paranoid. Anxiety meds do nothing. My chest is tight and feeling like it's being ripped apart, deep breathes hurt. I also probably have covid but I'm asymptomatic so I can't get tested. I'm tired (or depression) Chest tight (or anxiety/maybe paranoia) coughing a little. I'm easily overwhelmed and spending the days in the dark. I can't think without my headphones on and they're charging.

lol ! It’s fine

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Hopefully it’s some minor that can be resolved

Edit : just saw that it was good causing the problem. Glad your baby is better

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Girl Same same ! I’ll always be lots older than you!!! does that help ???

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