Bipolar check-in #61

Nammu · Jan 05, 2022, 06:12 PM

I’m sorry wildflower. My guy lost weight too but they said it was age related I know you said his age and he’s not very old.

Jan 05, 2022, 06:34 PM

@chaosunicorn:

Welcome aboard!

*Beth* · Jan 05, 2022, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scooter9

I finally got my car's tires changed over to snow tires. We've had just one major snowfall so far, so we've been lucky.

My pdoc got back to me earlier today and agreed to increase my Trintellix, so I took a second dose this morning instead of waiting for tomorrow to increase it.

Good that your pdoc increased your Trintellix! I hope the increase is very helpful.

*Beth* · Jan 05, 2022, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chaosunicorn

My first few days of the new year were going so well. I was happy and content, and my anxiety was the lowest it had been in weeks. Then suddenly today I feel like I'm in this pit of sadness and anxiety over not knowing what I'm doing with my life, and I can't shake it. I am so tired of having days like this. I keep trying to give myself some grace and tell myself it's okay that I don't know what my next steps are in life, but sometimes I feel like I self-sabotage by making myself feel guilty that I don't have a plan just yet.

Trying to take some deep breaths and telling myself I'll be okay. I know that I don't need to have all the answers right now.

Hi! I want to welcome you to the forum. You are definitely not alone in your feelings.

Jan 05, 2022, 07:59 PM

I phoned the local branch of my bank directly today instead of their central number and got thru immediately. But the woman wanted to make a phone appointment for tomorrow. The anticipatory anxiety is killing me. I know they will ask me all sorts of personal questions, like has my marital status changed and do i have any new dependents. I dread such questions, it's such a violation of my privacy.

The appointment will also be half an hour and i can't imagine what we are going to talk about that will take that long. I imagine they will overwhelm me with all sorts of financial data and decisions.

My life circumstances have not changed and my purpose in saving has not changed so this really is a senseless intrusion. I hope i can sleep tonight.

*Beth* · Jan 05, 2022, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

All the tests have ruled out anything detectable wrong with my cat. But he is still losing weight. He is now down to 12 pounds. He eats when we refill the dry food bowls AM and PM. He could be eating during the day too but I know for sure he at least eats then. There’s nothing to really do at this point. They can’t definitively detect cancer.

I had to weigh myself in order to weigh him and I am extremely upset with my weight, which is why I was avoiding it. I know I was wearing my clothes and I’ve just eaten dinner and I’m having a lot of bloating but I’m just….ugh. This is why I haven’t weighed myself or kept track of calories/carbs in a month or so. Well, I’ll just have to write out some positive affirmations about how I’m not defined by a number or some s***.

I’ll be starting dairy elimination tomorrow. I have been cutting out major dairy like regular milk with my cereal and yogurt and ice cream, but I’ve had cheese sandwiches and thrown in cheese with my eggs, things like that. I have to completely eliminate to really see if it helps.

I also think I have gastritis. I’m having the burning pain under my right rib again, but I’m not bingeing or eating lots of fatty foods like I was years ago when it was bad. A lot of places are closing specialist offices because of Covid again so I’m not even going to bother. I’ve had my pancreas and gallbladder checked at least three times now over 5 years. They never find anything. Once they did detect H. Pylori, the cause of ulcers and inflammation, but like I said no one’s letting you in except for emergencies. I’ll just follow recommendations online (not crackpot ones though).

Hugs to you, wfc And I have my fingers crossed for Cheeto's well-being.

*Beth* · Jan 05, 2022, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I phoned the local branch of my bank directly today instead of their central number and got thru immediately. But the woman wanted to make a phone appointment for tomorrow. The anticipatory anxiety is killing me. I know they will ask me all sorts of personal questions, like has my marital status changed and do i have any new dependents. I dread such questions, it's such a violation of my privacy.

The appointment will also be half an hour and i can't imagine what we are going to talk about that will take that long. I imagine they will overwhelm me with all sorts of financial data and decisions.

My life circumstances have not changed and my purpose in saving has not changed so this really is a senseless intrusion. I hope i can sleep tonight.

That sounds really crappy. Are you especially attached to that bank? Could you change to a different one? Banks can be so weird.

*Beth* · Jan 05, 2022, 08:07 PM

I rather desperately need a night stand lamp. I searched Amazon and finally found a lamp I ordered, and am so excited about. It's Moroccan-style, mosaic glass and brass. Truly bohemian in appearance. It will be a lovely addition to my bedroom.

wildflowerchild25 · Jan 05, 2022, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chaosunicorn

My first few days of the new year were going so well. I was happy and content, and my anxiety was the lowest it had been in weeks. Then suddenly today I feel like I'm in this pit of sadness and anxiety over not knowing what I'm doing with my life, and I can't shake it. I am so tired of having days like this. I keep trying to give myself some grace and tell myself it's okay that I don't know what my next steps are in life, but sometimes I feel like I self-sabotage by making myself feel guilty that I don't have a plan just yet.

Trying to take some deep breaths and telling myself I'll be okay. I know that I don't need to have all the answers right now.

Welcome! It is definitely ok to not know where you are headed just yet. And I feel you on being tired of having bad days seemingly out of the blue

Nammu · Jan 05, 2022, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I rather desperately need a night stand lamp. I searched Amazon and finally found a lamp I ordered, and am so excited about. It's Moroccan-style, mosaic glass and brass. Truly bohemian in appearance. It will be a lovely addition to my bedroom.

That does sound lovely. My style too. I have a rock salt lamp my daughter gave me. It adds drama to my room.

Soupe du jour · Jan 05, 2022, 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I rather desperately need a night stand lamp. I searched Amazon and finally found a lamp I ordered, and am so excited about. It's Moroccan-style, mosaic glass and brass. Truly bohemian in appearance. It will be a lovely addition to my bedroom.

Sounds pretty. I have a nightstand lamp, but can't use it since the electricity is screwed up in part of our downstairs.

Soupe du jour · Jan 05, 2022, 08:55 PM

As I type this it is nearly 3 am. We were watching TV pretty late. Hubby was falling asleep so said we should go to bed, but I'm not the least bit tired. No, not hypomania/mania. Turns out I forgot my evening meds when I was sure I had taken them. I took them maybe 20 minutes ago at 2:30 am. Better for me to take them than not at all. If I didn't, I would not sleep at all. Then I get very unwell, mentally, even somewhat psychotic, within 24 hours. I know from experience. It's dangerous for me to skip. I once asked my old psychiatrist if it was a side effect of Seroquel withdrawal. He said no, that it was my bipolar disorder. Not sure if he was right or if it was simply a "what came first chicken or the egg" situation. I will likely fall asleep at around 4 am since I took them.

I can get away with missing my morning meds for one day, but if I miss two days in a row I start suffering minor consequences. But, can't miss those evening meds, at all!

Standup2me · Jan 05, 2022, 09:01 PM

I am working long hours at work lately. Fourteen hours is a usual day. I know that I cannot keep doing this. Mentally and physically I will burn out. I am hoping that I do not have to work the weekend.
Wish me luck!

Scooter9 · Jan 05, 2022, 09:21 PM

My son has covid, confirmed with a test result. It's his second time. He caught it both times while traveling within the country. I told him it was a bad idea to travel but he insisted.

I think my mother had it too but she didn't get tested. She also caught it after traveling. She's doing well now but was really sick for 7 days over Christmas.

My son's case seems to be mild so far. He's staying with a friend who also tested positive, so there's no danger of us catching it from him. We're sending food and other things to him (we leave it at the door).

Nammu · Jan 05, 2022, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

As I type this it is nearly 3 am. We were watching TV pretty late. Hubby was falling asleep so said we should go to bed, but I'm not the least bit tired. No, not hypomania/mania. Turns out I forgot my evening meds when I was sure I had taken them. I took them maybe 20 minutes ago at 2:30 am. Better for me to take them than not at all. If I didn't, I would not sleep at all. Then I get very unwell, mentally, even somewhat psychotic, within 24 hours. I know from experience. It's dangerous for me to skip. I once asked my old psychiatrist if it was a side effect of Seroquel withdrawal. He said no, that it was my bipolar disorder. Not sure if he was right or if it was simply a "what came first chicken or the egg" situation. I will likely fall asleep at around 4 am since I took them.

I can get away with missing my morning meds for one day, but if I miss two days in a row I start suffering minor consequences. But, can't miss those evening meds, at all!

This is how it is for me too, I can not skip or forget the night meds or I won’t sleep and then become unstable. I always thought at least part of it was the withdrawals. I’m glad you asked.

Victoria'smom · Jan 05, 2022, 10:33 PM

I was just told by Miguel "I just ignore all the noises." "UUH, **** you need to tell your dr." ****! I hope it isn't what I think it is. The last thing he needs is this.

I'm so just done with this. I'm safe because I don't see the point. I stayed by myself today for 5 hours today. I need to shower but whatever. I'm quiet again but I'm around. I'm learning about SzA.

*Beth* · Jan 05, 2022, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

That does sound lovely. My style too. I have a rock salt lamp my daughter gave me. It adds drama to my room.

Oooh, I've wanted a rock salt lamp for years. Aren't they supposed to keep the environment healthier, something about ions?

Nammu · Jan 05, 2022, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

Oooh, I've wanted a rock salt lamp for years. Aren't they supposed to keep the environment healthier, something about ions?

That’s what they say, but I just love the look. But I’d love to be able to sleep in that salt mine that they turned into a hotel, that would be so cool 😎

~Christina · Jan 06, 2022, 01:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

All the tests have ruled out anything detectable wrong with my cat. But he is still losing weight. He is now down to 12 pounds. He eats when we refill the dry food bowls AM and PM. He could be eating during the day too but I know for sure he at least eats then. There’s nothing to really do at this point. They can’t definitively detect cancer.

I had to weigh myself in order to weigh him and I am extremely upset with my weight, which is why I was avoiding it. I know I was wearing my clothes and I’ve just eaten dinner and I’m having a lot of bloating but I’m just….ugh. This is why I haven’t weighed myself or kept track of calories/carbs in a month or so. Well, I’ll just have to write out some positive affirmations about how I’m not defined by a number or some s***.

I’ll be starting dairy elimination tomorrow. I have been cutting out major dairy like regular milk with my cereal and yogurt and ice cream, but I’ve had cheese sandwiches and thrown in cheese with my eggs, things like that. I have to completely eliminate to really see if it helps.

I also think I have gastritis. I’m having the burning pain under my right rib again, but I’m not bingeing or eating lots of fatty foods like I was years ago when it was bad. A lot of places are closing specialist offices because of Covid again so I’m not even going to bother. I’ve had my pancreas and gallbladder checked at least three times now over 5 years. They never find anything. Once they did detect H. Pylori, the cause of ulcers and inflammation, but like I said no one’s letting you in except for emergencies. I’ll just follow recommendations online (not crackpot ones though).

Hopefully your buddy will start putting some weight on. It’s so hard to just wait abd see.

You will probably feel better cutting our dairy. My daughter years ago was dealing with bloating , pain and just felt all around yuck. She felt much better after a few weeks off it all. She eventually has added cheese and occasional yougart back in but not on a daily basis. Sometimes our body’s just need a reset. Hope things settle down

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

~Christina · Jan 06, 2022, 01:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever2013

I phoned the local branch of my bank directly today instead of their central number and got thru immediately. But the woman wanted to make a phone appointment for tomorrow. The anticipatory anxiety is killing me. I know they will ask me all sorts of personal questions, like has my marital status changed and do i have any new dependents. I dread such questions, it's such a violation of my privacy.

The appointment will also be half an hour and i can't imagine what we are going to talk about that will take that long. I imagine they will overwhelm me with all sorts of financial data and decisions.

My life circumstances have not changed and my purpose in saving has not changed so this really is a senseless intrusion. I hope i can sleep tonight.

There is so much time wasted on things like this. Hopefully it doesn’t take that long.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

~Christina · Jan 06, 2022, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BethRags

I rather desperately need a night stand lamp. I searched Amazon and finally found a lamp I ordered, and am so excited about. It's Moroccan-style, mosaic glass and brass. Truly bohemian in appearance. It will be a lovely addition to my bedroom.

Sounds lovely

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

~Christina · Jan 06, 2022, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

As I type this it is nearly 3 am. We were watching TV pretty late. Hubby was falling asleep so said we should go to bed, but I'm not the least bit tired. No, not hypomania/mania. Turns out I forgot my evening meds when I was sure I had taken them. I took them maybe 20 minutes ago at 2:30 am. Better for me to take them than not at all. If I didn't, I would not sleep at all. Then I get very unwell, mentally, even somewhat psychotic, within 24 hours. I know from experience. It's dangerous for me to skip. I once asked my old psychiatrist if it was a side effect of Seroquel withdrawal. He said no, that it was my bipolar disorder. Not sure if he was right or if it was simply a "what came first chicken or the egg" situation. I will likely fall asleep at around 4 am since I took them.

I can get away with missing my morning meds for one day, but if I miss two days in a row I start suffering minor consequences. But, can't miss those evening meds, at all!

I hope you were able to sleep. It is amazing how missing one dose can effect us !

I’ve had done nights I lay in bed with no chance of sleeping and when I finally give up I check and I’ll have not taken them. I have finally set an alarm for a couple times at night to remind me. A few times I wonder why I set an alarm lol but it has helped more so.

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~Christina · Jan 06, 2022, 02:12 AM

So the ongoing saga of getting an appt with NP

I called again to main scheduling line to get appt and was told no appts til February but too far out to book and to call back the 24th. I said how am I ever going to get appt if things are done this way ?? No real response other than one NP out on maternity leave so in February things will be back on track. Ummm yeah doesn’t help me now.

So when I walked into Richards office and told him what was going on he was furious of course. He’s extremely anger with the company because of this.. he went immediately to speak with the nurse and made her refill my meds while he stood there.

We talked about my finding a new provider outside of the clinic . 13 years I have received excellent care. Since Dr Graves retired I have no faith that I can get help if I need it or even an appt if I’m in a crisis. I do plan to look for a new Doctor.., around here nothing open for months. I’m just mad and sad about this.

Steve is still not doing any better. Not worse thankfully but I hope he starts to rally soon.

We have more snow coming tomorrow and possible ice first ! Will be in teens by afternoon. I’m already distressed over our pipes freezing . I’ll be getting up every 3 hours to go around the house running faucets full blast. Steve assured me that I don’t have to do that but he knows I won’t be able to not do it.

I’m trying to focus on the good things. I was able to fill my car up with gas and buy needed groceries. So I’m grateful.

Hugs to anyone in need

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

downandlonely · Jan 06, 2022, 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

So the ongoing saga of getting an appt with NP

I called again to main scheduling line to get appt and was told no appts til February but too far out to book and to call back the 24th. I said how am I ever going to get appt if things are done this way ?? No real response other than one NP out on maternity leave so in February things will be back on track. Ummm yeah doesn’t help me now.

So when I walked into Richards office and told him what was going on he was furious of course. He’s extremely anger with the company because of this.. he went immediately to speak with the nurse and made her refill my meds while he stood there.

We talked about my finding a new provider outside of the clinic . 13 years I have received excellent care. Since Dr Graves retired I have no faith that I can get help if I need it or even an appt if I’m in a crisis. I do plan to look for a new Doctor.., around here nothing open for months. I’m just mad and sad about this.

Steve is still not doing any better. Not worse thankfully but I hope he starts to rally soon.

We have more snow coming tomorrow and possible ice first ! Will be in teens by afternoon. I’m already distressed over our pipes freezing . I’ll be getting up every 3 hours to go around the house running faucets full blast. Steve assured me that I don’t have to do that but he knows I won’t be able to not do it.

I’m trying to focus on the good things. I was able to fill my car up with gas and buy needed groceries. So I’m grateful.

Hugs to anyone in need

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I hope you can find a new doctor soon. That sounds incredibly frustrating.