Bipolar check-in #61

HALLIEBETH, I admire how you've been working hard at school. I know that it can be a huge effort, but you seem to be doing great despite the challenges. Please see that.

I agree that it is a big deal that you've kept yourself out of the hospital for all this time. Stopping the pattern of hospitalization is a very tough task, with bipolar disorder. I had almost four years of nearly back to back hospitalizations some years back. Bipolar is known for its kindling effect. Keeping those "flames" at bay is an incredible accomplishment. You've clearly been doing the work necessary to do so.

Mountaindewed, most here know how much you need support. Many truly want to offer you some. However, know that sometimes there's a bit of a difference between "talking to" and "talking with" people.

I'm glad you're enjoying a pleasant pastime. I can't say I'm an American football fan, but I do like some sports. I've been enjoying some downhill skiing on TV, lately. I can't personally ski, however, I imagine myself doing so.

LOL! Hopefully someday we won't be thinking of that word as much. As for the other word, the first thing that came to my mind was wine (French "vin") rather than maybe the "VIN" meaning Vehicle Identification Number. I have a feeling that wine consumption has increased these past couple of years.

I hope you're feeling better today, Nammu!

What is sour soda? You have me perplexed. Is it at all like ginger ale? That's what I drink when my stomach is upset.

Judi Dench was on Seth Meyers' show the other day. She's charming!

Not too much to report on my end. Tonight we'll be joining my husband's friend for dinner at an Italian restaurant. We were having fun reading the menu at home, beforehand, pretending to order the dishes in Czech using heavy Italian accents and gesticulations. I think I beat my husband for the most accurate and ridiculous. LOL! Tomorrow we plan to drive to see a major exhibition of art by Alfons Mucha.

I've been bugging Hubby about finally planning some trip to France (to look for possible places to live). Hopefully we'll decide soon. Frankly, the aggression of Russian Vladimir Putin on the Ukrainian border is quite concerning. I don't wish to be too alarmist, but if that sucker manages to get away with it, who knows how far he might try to go. He's friends with Hungarian president Viktor Orban, the latter of which is not looked at too poorly by certain "peoples" in the US. The whole political situation in the world is scary. I think many aren't paying attention or realizing it to the degree that they should. History CAN and DOES repeat itself. Czechoslovakia wasn't strong enough to defend itself in WWII. Czech Republic is not much stronger to do so today, without real (and strong) allies. Also, Czech Republic has its own "Viktor Orban types", as does Poland and small sectors of people even elsewhere in Europe. Populism is on the rise and has some relationship to Nationalism. It's not a friend to democracy or psychiatry...and certain other ideas, peoples and systems.

Yup, feeling better and back to drinking chai.

Sour soda is lemon or grapefruit soda with a tart tangy favor.

Yeah, Judi is a treasure.

Yeah Putin is scary. I think like t***** he is a bit demented from too much power and has lost his way from common sense.

How do you like your chai? I like mine with a shot of espresso in it

Fortunately I don’t rely on anonymous people behind a screen to fix my problems. Get feedback? Yes. I’ve taken control of my mental illness and work to cope with the world instead of just hide from it. It takes a lot of hard work and I’m damn proud of myself. I joined 15 years ago when I was lost and had no one to trust. I didn’t have anyone to advocate for me-you’re lucky you have your mom. This forum has helped me see it takes more than just meds to get stable.

I get boxed Tazo classical chai and use about 3/4 chai 1/4 unsweetened vanilla soy milk. Mmmm 😋 it’s a pretty strong mix so I only allow myself one a day.

Ohhhh yum!!! I like it that way too!

I hope you can keep it up. I'm glad I have my mom and so much other family support. as an openly trans man I am glad people are so supportive of me. So many people dont have that support. Sucks. I've always had it.

God I feel like tearing out my brain stem right now because of this tylenol resistant headache. I've had something to eat. I've had caffeine. I've had water. My vision is all ****ed up too. At this point I don't even care about the side effects and I'm taking everything I can. Vistreil, Valium, tylenol, Pixy dust. Well I don't have any of that last one. I'd watch TV or read if I could actaully see out of the corner of my eyes. My mom and I were planning on going out to lunch today and I want to but I want to hear back from my doctor really badly. I sent him another message so we'll see.

My uncle and his girlfriend and my aunt and her husband are coming next month for my moms 70th birthday. It will be fun for them to see the new house and it will be good for my mom to see them. My sister and brother in law and my nephews will come over and we'll have dinner at my house one night and probably go out to eat the next night. It will be fun. They are all really supportive of my transtion and they use the correct name and the correct pronouns. They had no problems when I came out. I am so lucky to not only have such a supportive family but also to live in such a friendly state where my treatment has been basically fully covered by my insurance. Its not common for people in the LGBTQ+ community to have all that I have. I feel very lucky.

Having an OK day -- gonna spend the next few days away from here. I'm seeing the worst come out in everybody and people are forgetting how to treat each other. I'll do what I need for me. Take care! See you in a few days. Hopefully things calm down.

Just relaxing with Miss Mustachio, she's probably happy because she knows I'm doing laundry and whenever the clothes come out of the dryer she likes laying on the warm laundry bag

It's been pretty cold so I haven't been up to much, just hanging around in my apartment. I'm looking forward to Wednesday because I get to see my friend. It's been a long time since I've hung out with anyone.

I feel like there's an undercurrent of depression that's trying to make it's way out. I'm trying to focus on other things though. I have appointments with my therapist and psychiatrist this week. I feel kind of frustrated with myself because I haven't made progress on some of my goals. It's hard for me to get motivated.

Anyway, Stash is the best, I wake up everyday with her next to or on me purring under the covers, she's so sweet. She had some salmon pate for the first time the other day and man she loved that, here's a picture of her below licking her lips after eating that

I'm getting a cat carrier soon so I can hopefully get an appointment sometime next month to get her spayed.

I went to the store the other day and got a bunch of canned vegetables, I'm going to try to start eating more veggies. I know fresh is generally best but I sometimes have issues eating fresh vegetables because I have to chew on one side of my mouth since I had a tooth on the lower left side pulled last year, so it's kind of a lot of work. And I also have a weird phobia/fear of choking, in addition to my eating disorder. So I'm kind of limited in what I can eat/feel comfortable eating.

About to make a coffee, and read some of my book.

Hope everyone's is having a good start to the week

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddha1too ... I think I might be the only sports fan around here, but this weekend's football playoff games were among the best I've seen in my 60 years!

Oh, my gosh! I'm not a football fan, baseball is my game, but my husband is ecstatic about the 49ers win! I do hope they go to the Super Bowl. Are you rooting for a specific team?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed ... Everyone is just someone behind a screen who you have no idea who they are.

Md, please stop saying that we don't really care. Some of the closest friends I've had are online friends. Like you, most people feel more able to be open and honest online. And I really do care about all of you here.

Ahhhh! Warm laundry! I may not fit in my clean clothes basket, but I sure love putting hot out of the dryer pajamas on. I relate to Miss Mustachio.

My childhood cat was white and black, too, and had a "half mustache". Salmon was also his ultimate favorite food.

It is curious where choking phobias come from. I experienced one for about a year, some years back. I could eat many things, but not chunks of meat and certain cheeses were particularly hard for me to swallow. I've never had an eating disorder, though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour Not too much to report on my end. Tonight we'll be joining my husband's friend for dinner at an Italian restaurant. We were having fun reading the menu at home, beforehand, pretending to order the dishes in Czech using heavy Italian accents and gesticulations. I think I beat my husband for the most accurate and ridiculous. LOL! Tomorrow we plan to drive to see a major exhibition of art by Alfons Mucha. I've been bugging Hubby about finally planning some trip to France (to look for possible places to live). Hopefully we'll decide soon. Frankly, the aggression of Russian Vladimir Putin on the Ukrainian border is quite concerning. I don't wish to be too alarmist, but if that sucker manages to get away with it, who knows how far he might try to go. He's friends with Hungarian president Viktor Orban, the latter of which is not looked at too poorly by certain "peoples" in the US. The whole political situation in the world is scary. I think many aren't paying attention or realizing it to the degree that they should. History CAN and DOES repeat itself. Czechoslovakia wasn't strong enough to defend itself in WWII. Czech Republic is not much stronger to do so today, without real (and strong) allies. Also, Czech Republic has its own "Viktor Orban types", as does Poland and small sectors of people even elsewhere in Europe. Populism is on the rise and has some relationship to Nationalism. It's not a friend to democracy or psychiatry...and certain other ideas, peoples and systems.

The Ukrainian situation is alarming, no question about it. Populism has become far too prevalent - and THAT is a serious cause for concern.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 How do you like your chai? I like mine with a shot of espresso in it

"Dirty chai" - it's a good drink!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed God I feel like tearing out my brain stem right now because of this tylenol resistant headache. I've had something to eat. I've had caffeine. I've had water. My vision is all ****ed up too. At this point I don't even care about the side effects and I'm taking everything I can. Vistreil, Valium, tylenol, Pixy dust. Well I don't have any of that last one. I'd watch TV or read if I could actaully see out of the corner of my eyes. My mom and I were planning on going out to lunch today and I want to but I want to hear back from my doctor really badly. I sent him another message so we'll see. My uncle and his girlfriend and my aunt and her husband are coming next month for my moms 70th birthday. It will be fun for them to see the new house and it will be good for my mom to see them. My sister and brother in law and my nephews will come over and we'll have dinner at my house one night and probably go out to eat the next night. It will be fun. They are all really supportive of my transtion and they use the correct name and the correct pronouns. They had no problems when I came out. I am so lucky to not only have such a supportive family but also to live in such a friendly state where my treatment has been basically fully covered by my insurance. Its not common for people in the LGBTQ+ community to have all that I have. I feel very lucky.

Here's some pixy dust: ~**~**~***~~**~*

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird ...

Stash is so cute Thanks for the photo - she looks quite pleased

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour ... It is curious where choking phobias come from. I experienced one for about a year, some years back. I could eat many things, but not chunks of meat and certain cheeses were particularly hard for me to swallow. I've never had an eating disorder, though.

I have a tremendous fear of choking. Mostly because I have had such dry mouth/dry throat from certain meds and it can so easily cause choking. I'm very careful of how I drink and eat.

I love putting on warm clothes from the laundry too, feels great especially in the winter

I’m curious too. It’s strange. I never had this problem before, the phobia, until about 2 years ago. I don’t know what changed. My eating disorder started many years before that so I don’t think they’re related. It may just be my anxiety and fear of death, makes me kind of hyperfocus on things that could go wrong. Like worrying about my apartment burning down, and triple checking locks and things before I leave. My therapist said I may also have OCD and it could be part of it. I don’t know, it’s weird. It makes things very difficult because it’s hard to get myself to even eat, so most of the time I drink nutrition meal replacement shakes since they’re easier to deal with and don’t cause the anxiety of swallowing food.