Bipolar check-in #65

New check-in thread.

Hi. Just getting onto the new thread.

Holy cow, we really went over! Thanks blue koi

I'm just really down on myself today. My mom showed me pix from the Disney trip and in every single one I look obese. (Technically, I AM obese!). Plus I resigned lease papers today. I have that HUGE packet of stuff to collect and don't know how I will be able to. I've done it for 6 years in a row now but every year I worry! Some stuff is hard to get! (Like a letter of non-filing for income tax.) I have one month to do this. (This is for section 8.) The whole ordeal just makes me nervous!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 I'm just really down on myself today. My mom showed me pix from the Disney trip and in every single one I look obese. (Technically, I AM obese!). Plus I resigned lease papers today. I have that HUGE packet of stuff to collect and don't know how I will be able to. I've done it for 6 years in a row now but every year I worry! Some stuff is hard to get! (Like a letter of non-filing for income tax.) I have one month to do this. (This is for section 8.) The whole ordeal just makes me nervous!

((((Moose))))


I pm'ed you.

I go Friday to the eye dr because I am a glaucoma suspect. My right eye is iffy ugh and they wanna do further testing.

Might be a little impulsive but I made a tattoo appointment today for me and my friend to get matching tattoos June 1.

I’m overwhelmed

My therapy appointment went well. I have been thinking a lot about the situation and think that I am on my way to solve it. That means that I feel in control again. There will be some "psych" work to do, but I am optimistic with regard to being able to do it well.

I will take a break from the forum. (Just as you know and don't begin to speculate about what has happened to me).

Am sending a lot of hugs and good thoughts to all!

@Moose72

I feel you on the weight thing moose. Meds and hormones have made me gain 12 pounds and I can’t fit in my summer clothes I’m definitely pushing myself to go to the gym today. I’m just super hungry and then even if I’m not I can’t stop myself from bingeing at night. it’s disheartening to say the least.

I know we often discuss this on here but weight gain from meds sucks.

My nephew is in a psychiatric hospital again, though luckily a better one in my view. Last night I sent my sister the toughest love type email ever. It didn't anger her, luckily. She acknowledged its truth and even shared a few things I didn't know about my nephew. Based on urging, she's expressed concern to doctors about his near certain autism spectrum disorder. She sent me the looong questionnaire she received to add feedback on. I wish I could add more than I'll be able, but I have not spent nearly enough time with him as I'd have liked (should have). I spent more with my late nephew.

I also emphasized to Sis that nephew MUST finally better process the death of his brother. He never has.

This afternoon we'll meet my husband's good friend in the city for lunch. He has an office there. Then we see a piano concert at Carnegie Hall (Emmanuel Ax). Tomorrow's plan is up in the air. A possibility might be that that friend lends us his car so we can return to Central Jersey to say hi to my dad again and perhaps visit my nephew at the psych hospital. I won't tell them this unless it pans out, though. I remember visiting my younger nephew there twice, years ago. I spent one of 10 of mine there, too. Tomorrow night we fly back to Europe. We'll check out of the hotel in the early morning.

Soupe,

My sister brought the cat (Maybelle) she's giving me today to the vet for a checkup this morning before she drops her off for me, the vet said she's in really good shape. She is 13 years old, weighs 9.4lbs. Could stand to gain a tiny bit of weight but other than that she's good. She'll be bringing her over to me within the hour

A small senior cat! How precious. Good luck.

Slowly recovering. I have my energy back and I’m in a good mood today. I’m getting caught up on things. Hopefully things will continue improving.

I took my brother to the endocrinologist yesterday. His blood sugar was 396 before breakfast yet he only checks it once a day and refuses insulin. The doctor was upfront that his kidneys were failing and his heart was damaged and he’s almost lost both feet because he won’t control his diabetes. I’ve tried everything I know to save him and I’ve finally made my peace with what is and may be. He’s only 59. Too young for so many health problems.

I have some fun things coming up including a drum circle. Yay! Some stress relief.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Hugs to all.

Blue_bird, she's so pretty! What a wonderful addition to the family and no health problems that's great!

Soupe- sorry about your nephew, I hope IP helps him out as much as possible. Take it easy after your flight back

wildflowerchild, hope you're feeling better today. I know what you mean about mania being a way to escape the aftereffects of trauma. Drive safe!

Hallie- what are you thinking about getting for a tattoo?

Moose- good luck with the paper work!

---

I'm feeling good. Went on a walk that ended up being trudging through deep mud (ah the joys of spring!) I'm thinking if I find some moleskin for my blisters I'll try running around the block later. It is windy out there! My bf texted me yesterday he has covid (mild symptoms). I haven't seen him in person in a while (been avoiding him) and I feel fine so I should be good. I should test myself though.

edit: I used a home testing kit and it's negative. yay

Thanks for being happy to adopt an older pet. She will be lucky to have you, too.

Thank you everyone she’s here now. I have Mustachio in my room at the moment because she’s acting very territorial towards Maybelle so I thought I’d give them some space. Maybelle is very gentle/mellow, she’s been exploring the apartment, she’s hanging out in the bathroom at the moment. Hopefully Mustachio adjusts to having her around eventually. It will take some time though. I’m happy to have Maybelle here, I’m so glad I got her/my sister gave me her and not some random person or the shelter.

I’m getting some extra supplies and stuff for the cats this weekend. A scratching post (Mustachio has been scratching at my carpets so she really needs something to scratch), toys, catnip, bow tie collars for the both of them, a brush so I can brush them, more litter, food (they each like different kinds of wet food), and possibly an extra litter box, in case Maybelle needs her own.

Sapien-a sunflower’.

Wow you’re going all out, they will be two happy kitties. Hope it doesn’t take too long for them to become best friends

So worked up today. I had to color during group because I just couldn’t sit there anymore. It helped. I squeezed my squeezy toy for the entirety of the afternoon groups. My hands kind of hurt lol.

I haven’t gone to the gym but I’m going to take a power walk around the neighborhood. I think the cold and sunshine will do me good. If I walk fast enough I won’t be cold lol. The temp isn’t too bad, mid fifties, but it is WINDY. Fire warning, red flag warning for the shore, AND freeze warning for tonight, all because of the wind. I’m mad about the freeze warning, I just want to put my basil outside and plant some veggies and herbs! I’d like to go to the nursery this weekend before my niece’s birthday party. I really wish it wasn’t at my SIL’s house. It’s a small townhouse and it’s always extremely messy which isn’t a problem, I mean they have a puppy and an eight year old, but it’s so cluttered it reminds me of my mom’s house which I hate. I never visit my mom because she’s a hoarder and my SIL’s house is just as cluttered because of its size.

I think my problem right now (one of them) is I’m quite enjoying being manic. It’s manifesting as absolute fury and that feels powerful, like I could kick anyone’s ***. When I’m home I don’t direct it at my family, I’m more just hyped at home, but everywhere else, yeah, I’m pissed. I love it. That’s bad, I suppose, because I could really get wrapped up in it. I AM getting wrapped up in it. Sigh…I guess I should try to bring myself down a bit before the spectacular crash we all know will come.

Oh, just to put everyone’s mind at ease, I’m only driving to drop my son off at school (.5 miles away) and the back way to and from program. Otherwise I stay home.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird My sister brought the cat (Maybelle) she's giving me today to the vet for a checkup this morning before she drops her off for me, the vet said she's in really good shape. She is 13 years old, weighs 9.4lbs. Could stand to gain a tiny bit of weight but other than that she's good. She'll be bringing her over to me within the hour

I love senior cats. They're amusing and eccentric. Happy times for Maybelle!

I made it home ok. I got my shoes returned. I ended up needing a full size smaller. They are slip on though and I am only used to ones that are tied. My mom was talking to me last night and she said her lawyer was talking to her about a non for profit organazation that helps people with autism and other disabilties with like vocational training and housing and transportation. 3 years ago I would have been totally agaisnt a program like that. But honestly I am just not as capable mental health wise as I was 3 years ago and a program like that could really help me. My mom is 70 and I really want to become independent. I'd like it if they could find me a non retail job where I'd get holidays off since Thanksgivngs are now a big travel deal for me. I know office companies hire autistic people for various postions. At least according to 60 minutes. My mom thinks this place may really help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I made it home ok. I got my shoes returned. I ended up needing a full size smaller. They are slip on though and I am only used to ones that are tied. My mom was talking to me last night and she said her lawyer was talking to her about a non for profit organazation that helps people with autism and other disabilties with like vocational training and housing and transportation. 3 years ago I would have been totally agaisnt a program like that. But honestly I am just not as capable mental health wise as I was 3 years ago and a program like that could really help me. My mom is 70 and I really want to become independent. I'd like it if they could find me a non retail job where I'd get holidays off since Thanksgivngs are now a big travel deal for me. I know office companies hire autistic people for various postions. At least according to 60 minutes. My mom thinks this place may really help.

That sounds terrific, Md! Check into it, for sure.

An absolutely gorgeous spring day! I am so sleepy, though, I will probably lie down and see if I can fall asleep for a while. Falling asleep has become this like...occupation in my life. A full-time job.

Has anyone here seen the movie Magnolia?

I thought the movie sounded familiar but no I’ve not seen it. I see it has Tom cruise in it and I don’t watch him, but the movie sound intriguing 🤔

I got my new phone today. It was time to upgrade since I've had my old one for several years and it was falling apart. I'm all moved into my new phone now.

One of my back teeth broke the other day so now I have to go to the dentist. I hope the dentist can do something to fix it.