Bipolar check-in #65

Anyone who wants to know -- I'm still around.

I got my blood test results back already. I just went at 9 this morning. And as I suspected I need another phlebotomy procedure. I'm not very happy. My mom says this one shouldn't be as bad since I know what to expect now. Its just frustrating that this dumb hematricrit level won't permenantly stay down. I've only been back on my injections for 4 weeks and I've been super careful about watching my calories and watching my weight and my sleep hasn't been that bad either. Its just frustrating at age 29 to have this stuff going on. I don't have a date yet for the procedure, the office has to call. I also see my kidney doctor on Monday. I'm not sure what he'll want. Hopefully not another 24 hour urine collection. Thats a hassle. These whole health issues are a hassle. Again, I'm only 29 with no weight issues or diabetes or anything. I keep thinking of what sick kids are going through who miss their entire childhood because of illnesses.

Really depressed today and missing my wife really bad. I decided to take a roadtrip I flew from Boise to Dallas Texas a week ago Thursday. I flew in and bought a motorcycle. I have seen some old friends and have riden several of my bucket list rides. The thing is these rides were supposed to be with my wife who passed 11/18/21. Today is just a really hard day for me and I'm not sure why it just is. I am in Iowa right now and I have riden over 3000 miles since last Thursday. I went by the first house that we rented together in Tennessee yesterday morning and it still looks the same after almost 24 years. I really miss my wife.

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It's interesting to me that I have not been suicidal but I lack the desire to live. I have not had any suicidal ideations since 2015 after my last attempt. I am really glad I am not suicidal.

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Make sure you keep in touch with your pdoc and T.

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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow Beth, what do you do if you want to stop a movie from Amazon? Do you tell them you don't lik it or that it was an accident or what? I know I cancelled one once because I started it and realizd I didn't want in 2 minutes in and I couJld just clickkrious Just curious.

I call Amazon customer service and tell them I rented a movie I watched for less than 15 minutes, don't want to continue watching it, and I would like a refund. In a year I do that about 3 or 4 times and they always refund the payment with no problem.

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Originally Posted by Blue_Bird Here’s a picture of Maybelle when she got here yesterday. Also a random picture of a mixed berry smoothie I made yesterday that was really good I have to walk downtown to the pharmacy later to pick up my meds and buy some food. I slept really good. I was considering staying up all night but I made myself go to sleep around 1am because severe lack of sleep triggers mania and psychosis for me. I woke up at 6am and feel well rested. Even though I sometimes enjoy feeling manic the psychosis is a very bad feeling/experience Have some cleaning I need to do later.

That smoothie looks so good. How are Maybelle and Miss M. doing together?

Yeeeaaahhh....I hear you on the whole sleep thing. For sure.

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Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 Greetings and salutations! I was quite crabby and pessimistic when I first got up but after catching up on reading posts here, I feel better. It gets me out of my head to read of other’s struggles, triumphs and the details of daily living. This forum rocks! My pharmacy shorted me 90 pills of Geodon which I use to sleep and will not admit or correct it. They won’t even refill with a doctor’s script and let me pay cash. I’m having to go through another pharmacy. So annoying. I was so stressed yesterday that I bought a 6 flavor, 12 slice cheesecake. That’s unusual for me. Sometimes self care is a walk in the park, a warm bath or a good book. Sometimes it’s a 6 flavor cheesecake. I hope everyone has a peaceful day. Hugs to all.

Greetings and Salutations! I am so sorry about the pharmacy situation! You know, sometimes prescribers and pharmacies make taking medication so frustrating. I wonder how many people are not med compliant because they just give up the fight for getting meds.

Yes! Sometimes self-care IS a cheesecake. I agree.

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Originally Posted by Sapien NH just shot down another cannabis legalization bill. Guess we're all going to continue to waste gas and give our money to VT, MA, ME and QC (and get unwanted fentanyl in our laced street weed).

I was just reading about CBD oil...shocked to learn that it is STILL a class 1 controlled substance (feds).


We have the stores here, all you want (with a script)...IF you can afford the high prices! I really do want to try CBD oil and find out if I receive any benefit for anxiety and pain. Also, I've been reading about using it for my diabetic kitty.

you rang?

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Originally Posted by otroo It's interesting to me that I have not been suicidal but I lack the desire to live. I have not had any suicidal ideations since 2015 after my last attempt. I am really glad I am not suicidal. Sent from my SM-S901U using Tapatalk

I completely understand that feeling.

Your rides sound so liberating.

It has been nice not sitting on my couch all day doing nothing but watching YouTube. I have had 2 days of solid rain and that was my first time riding in rain and it honestly did not bother me. I just throw on my rain gear and I stay nice and dry. It has been fun.

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I wanted to try CBD for my back pain but I read it’s processed through the liver and so is depakote so I don’t want to chance it.

We're waiting to set off for home. I had typed up something earlier and thought I submitted, but maybe it didn't go through. Or maybe it was removed. It was a rough story. Doesn't matter either way. I protected my people. Birds.

Dude I am out of my mind today. My clinician said there was no point in processing bc I can barely string two thoughts together she’s totally right lol. I cleaned the bathroom by hand, no mop. We’re up at 9pm watching a movie which I know doesn’t sound crazy lol but I’m usually in bed relaxing haha.

I think I’m enjoying myself too much. I only drove to and from program again but I had to go on the highway bc I left late and I was gonna be late. But I didn’t run anyone off the road by accident. I have to go to a bridal shower tomorrow. I am kinda glad I’m manic bc if I wasn’t I would be super uncomfortable but now I think I’m gonna be glad to be there. At least to have something to do.

I took a 2 mile walk around the neighborhood yesterday but I didn’t get to walk today bc I had to sign my son up for camp and that took way longer than I thought.

I wanted to go shopping but I didn’t go to a physical store but I did order two bracelets off of Etsy. Been ordering too much stuff.

I saw opthalmologist today for glaucoma exam. I dont have it! i was just born with big ol optic nerves!

I can't type without too many mistakes yet nad I am not handling that well. I just want to be able to communicate somehow.Recovery from this surgery is harder than most other surgeries I've had. The pain is minimal but the rest is hard. And I've not made too many mistakes so I'm stopping here.


Anyone ever had a sore throat from anesthesia that would not stop?

Rainbow, I’ve had surgery 5 times but never had a sore throat last.

Thanks Nammu. I'm still open to other feedback bu am leaning more toward a covid test to be sure.

jeff was intebated for his hernia repair and had a sore throat for days, at least a week.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I am stuffed. Ate and drank too much.3 nights in a row, I have had heart burn that was fazed by pepcid, tums and mylanta.
sigh, it is self sabotage.
sigh
bizi

****en fake bugs on my skin/hair.... going to bed. I'm done with the day.

Quote:

Originally Posted by otroo It has been nice not sitting on my couch all day doing nothing but watching YouTube. I have had 2 days of solid rain and that was my first time riding in rain and it honestly did not bother me. I just throw on my rain gear and I stay nice and dry. It has been fun. Sent from my SM-S901U using Tapatalk

I heard that song today that says "I'm a cowboy / On a steel horse I ride" and I thought of you.

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Originally Posted by bizi I am stuffed. Ate and drank too much.3 nights in a row, I have had heart burn that was fazed by pepcid, tums and mylanta. sigh, it is self sabotage. sigh bizi

(((((bizi)))))

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Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 I wanted to try CBD for my back pain but I read it’s processed through the liver and so is depakote so I don’t want to chance it.

Do you mean it may be too hard on your liver, or that CBD oil might interfere with the Depakote?