Bipolar check-in #67

I want to thank each of you for your friendship, for your concern, for your good vibes, for all of it.

I've gone crazy. I've completely gone batshit crazy and I don't care if the whole world knows. If I didn't have my cats to care for I'd pack up my Osprey bag, put on my skates, and skate the fu*k out of here, just keep going. I'd skate to the ocean and just hang around there. I could use my disability $ to buy sandwiches at the Safeway grocery store that sits near the beach. I'd use my wheels to leave all these effing abusers behind. They can rot in their own putridicity.

You are each precious souls, lightbeings who work hard to work your issues with grace. You don't hurt other people. You inspire respect. Take excellent care of yourselves. The world needs every one of you.

~'69 I was 21 and I called the Road My Own...I don't know where that Road turned into the road I'm on~

It’s that stupid AA country song that’s on loop. My boyfriend thought it’d be funny to play it today and now it’s worse

Beth my heart ached for you when you opened up
about how things are really for you.
My MRI results came back normal. She is going to
refer me to a PT. I asked if it could be one close

to where I lived. Abby her nurse said she would try.
Why the hell is my left knee so painful when I do

certain things like get up and down from washing peoples feet.
Simple pressure from my memory foam bed makes
it hurt. The bed is tall and I would put my knee

on top to try to hop up there. That is painful now.
So I have to sit on the bed then scooch my way into bed.
I don't like change nor pain....
bizi

Beth! My heart breaks for you. You know where to find me

Nammu I was so hoping that you were going to get a great sleep.

Jennifer ! hope the pup is okay. I think of you floating daily. Yes isnt this heat ridiculous at this point ?? Ugh !

Otroo. So glad to hear your doing okay and looking forward to things. That’s huge !

Rainbow .. how are you holding up in this heat ? Is Abby still doing well ? No further Asthma issues ?

Wind that blows .. thinking of you

Hugs to anyone I’ve forgotten by accident.

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I’ve kept myself busy all day with lots of breaks to just sit in front of this super fan. I bought it a few years ago and I struggled to justify the cost … but I’m so grateful I did.

Made the rest of the egg rolls for dinner. I’ll probably make them this fall when Amanda comes up from a visit. They are so simple but I save them for occasions.

I’m going to call the Voc rehab place Monday and see if they know of places hiring in either towns as I live smack dab in between the 2. I hope I can get a job quickly I despise the whole interview process. The famous “ why would like to work here” I remember a job I was after in my 20’s asked that nonsense and I said “ because I need a job to pay my bills “. Yes I got the job LOL !

Otherwise I’m doing okay and I’m grateful for that. This med combo has me the most stable since I started it last September than I have been in years.

Hugs and ice pops all around



Thought I’d share a picture of Gus from when he was just a baby.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi Beth my heart ached for you when you opened up about how things are really for you. My MRI results came back normal. She is going to refer me to a PT. I asked if it could be one close to where I lived. Abby her nurse said she would try. Why the hell is my left knee so painful when I do certain things like get up and down from washing peoples feet. Simple pressure from my memory foam bed makes it hurt. The bed is tall and I would put my knee on top to try to hop up there. That is painful now. So I have to sit on the bed then scooch my way into bed. I don't like change nor pain.... bizi

Chronic pain blows. I'm so sorry, bizi BUT I'm glad you'll be in PT.

Aww, cute tiny baby Gus. He was/is so adorable.

I hope the job search is easy. Around here there seem to be jobs everywhere. Hope that's true where you need it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 It’s that stupid AA country song that’s on loop. My boyfriend thought it’d be funny to play it today and now it’s worse

That is not funny. That is a really mean thing to do to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina I’ve kept myself busy all day with lots of breaks to just sit in front of this super fan. I bought it a few years ago and I struggled to justify the cost … but I’m so grateful I did. Made the rest of the egg rolls for dinner. I’ll probably make them this fall when Amanda comes up from a visit. They are so simple but I save them for occasions. I’m going to call the Voc rehab place Monday and see if they know of places hiring in either towns as I live smack dab in between the 2. I hope I can get a job quickly I despise the whole interview process. The famous “ why would like to work here” I remember a job I was after in my 20’s asked that nonsense and I said “ because I need a job to pay my bills “. Yes I got the job LOL ! Otherwise I’m doing okay and I’m grateful for that. This med combo has me the most stable since I started it last September than I have been in years. Hugs and ice pops all around Thought I’d share a picture of Gus from when he was just a baby. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Ice pops...I'll hog down 4.

Baby Gus is, like, the cutest thing ever in existence.

LOL, I LOVE your job interview answer. They probably appreciated your honesty.

19 days AF
bizi

Congratulations Bizi!

Awwwww cutest thing ever!

Hope the job hunt is swift. I did go to the factory here but they are not hiring part time, full time only! If they are so desperate for workers they need to be flexible. I don’t know of any other sit down jobs that don’t involve phones or computers. Have you thought of any jobs you’d like that won’t be too demanding?

I'm quite. Spent the day looking at things for Artemis. My parents think I'm crazy for wanting an all in one Gps/virtual fence/training collar like halo 2+ but cheaper all because it shows the antenna. So we're figuring out how to make one. I like the one I found because I can control it with a smartwatch which leaves both hands free, phone, or remote and you can disable the one feature that I don't plan to ever use but I can't trust my dad not to use that feature.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom ...you can disable the one feature that I don't plan to ever use but I can't trust my dad not to use that feature.

Use it on your dad.

Lol I used a shock collar on myself before. I figured if I was going to put it on my dog that I should feel what he was going to feel. Hurt like a mother and I took it back to the store lol.

Speaking of dogs I have been thinking about getting a puppy for the last few months and the other day I went to a puppy store. I looked around and found this cute looking mixed breed. I asked the guy how much and he goes $3200 I was like yeah no thanks and left. I was driving along and was near the Humane Society so I decided to stop to see if they had any younger smaller dogs. Lol I walked out with an 11 yo Chihuahua with bad teeth and overweight lol. I love this little guy he gets along fine with my older dog but my younger dog is so mad at me right now.

I would like to introduce Mr.Pickels and the skinny one is my buddy Hugo.

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I'm still experiencing residual symptoms from covid-19, but feel well enough to be cleaning a lot of things. Our bed really needed stripping. I'm even washing the padding, which I've neglected for a while. I think Hubby is beyond being contagious. Hopefully I will be soon. We truly need to be making serious arrangements for a move. Hubby procrastinates so much. Last Friday I sat him down and begged him to please find someone. I spent time searching and referring places to him, but ones I can't find (in Czech) may be cheaper outfits.

I've loved seeing everyone's pet(s) and wish I had one again, too. We could have here, but decided not to until we have our own place.

I'm sending much love dear Beth

(I'm sorry I've been away for a while and only just replying to this)

I have OCD too, I hate it. I too have worked hard on lessening it's impact.

I didn't really have it as a child, the parental units were very insistent on ''cleanliness'' though, and other controlling things...

Beth

Hey Christina,

Thanks for posting this adorable picture of Gus

I love the answer at the interview
(I hate those questions)

There was some banging on the door just now.
I'm in pyjamas and didn't want to answer it.
Papa bear is around. He said ''that banging was the many dresses wanting to come in''.
Actually its two dresses, I needed something a bit nicer to put on

I slept in the wingback chair again to keep mom company. Dragging today. It’s a beautiful, sunny day and I can’t motivate myself to get to the pool. Sister is bringing lasagna at noon for a family luncheon so I don’t have a lot of time to float and prepare for lunch. I’ve been having motivation problems since brother passed and it’s vexing to me. I fight my desire to sit and stare at the wall or the tv daily. Sometimes I’m successful and sometimes not.

Mom’s dog is okay. It was good that we took her to the vet because she did need attention from eating all that food. She’s happy and healthy again thankfully.

I need to get myself in gear starting Monday. In a lot of ways.

Hugs to all who need them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear I'm sending much love dear Beth (I'm sorry I've been away for a while and only just replying to this)

Dearest Fuzzy, You are such a good friend. I hope you're enjoying a lovely Sunday evening. I'm sending you much love right back.

Sounds horrible. I think I have OCD traits and not OCD. It still is horrible though.

My psyd knows about the counting mostly so I’m gonna open up next session. I’ve been afraid to tell anyone bc I’m embarrassed.