Bipolar check-in #67

@Beth :

Can we help in any way @*Beth* ?

sending much and plenty of hugs your way Beth. I'm really concerned about you

My heart breaks for you Beth

Is there anything I can do to help ???

I’m always available on Facebook messenger

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My trip to SS office was helpful. I can use the ticket to work program and work as many hours as I want to for 9 months while keeping my SSDI then if I drop to less than 1300 a month I can continue to work part time and it not effect my SSDI. Ideally I’d like a part time job but we really really need the money so I’ll likely say F it and go full time.

Today is my 17th wedding anniversary. I made homemade egg rolls for dinner we usually have them maybe once or twice a year. So a nice treat.

This heat is literally melting me. We had like 7 mins of rain yesterday so it became a full on sauna! I am hot 24/7.. these psych meds make tolerating heat almost impossible. I’m sure many of you relate.

Hugs friends

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He didn't pick up my meds. No Gabapentin, no Zoloft, no Kpin, all I have is Lamictal and Seroquel. He said he "forgot." He "forgets" things when he's angry and stuffing it. i.e., classic passive-aggressive. I'm going to be so sick and messed up. I have to fight so hard tonight to keep my focus on those sweet, innocent little furry faces that belong to my true family, and who depend upon me so much. Because I do not want to see another dawn. Dawn brings horrible lies that are darker than midnight, and rotten, too. I'm just done. I'm just done. I'm just done.

@*Beth* thinking of you and sending hugs, supportive vibes and prayers. I’m really concerned about you. We all care a great deal for you. Please take good care of yourself.

We got in the car to go out yesterday and I said forget this. The heat index was over 100 and I’m heat intolerant because of these meds. It was miserable outside of the pool. We’re going to go out this morning early while it’s bearable.

Mom had a tough night so I slept in the wing back chair beside her. Rough on the body and very little sleep. Definitely will take a nap today if I can.

Mom’s Norfolk terrier got ahold of a whole box of her dry food and ate a large number of the individual packets. I didn’t think much of it but I guess I should have. She hasn’t eaten in 2 days but has not gone to the bathroom either. I’m getting concerned. That dog is about the only thing keeping Mom going right now. I’ll call the vet this morning.

Hugs to all.

Hang in there Beth. I know from being with my dog - your cats are worth holding on for.

@*Beth*

@Beth how are you doing today?

The edibles weren’t a lot of help. The first thing I got was a headache and I did sort of sleep. In the twilight zone. I’m dreaming but know I’m in bed and sort of a awake. Was a strange sort of dream, disjointed and nonsense. So if anything I’m more tired now than I was last night.

I think the new med is working pretty well. I still have the nausea but my anxiety is better. I went to get lab work done that my blood doctor wanted and there wasn't an issue. I didn't even feel the needle go in. While I was waiting some lady went into the bathroom and then came out and said to the lady waiting "I forgot to do the most important thing." And she went and flushed the toilet but then didn't wash her hands. It was kinda gross. Today I'm just hanging out. I slept in an extra half hour and I'm working hard at getting up at the same time. Then I was half an hour late on my first valium. But everything else has been on time. I need to drink more water though.

Update: yeah now I'm showing the classic signs of dehydration but I'm also pretty nauseated as well from the pristiq. So I'll have to figure out something since I feel like I'm going to throw up if I drink water even though I'm thirsty.

I'm getting bad Twilight Zone vibes because of this heat. I wonder what will happen in the next 5 years.

The racist seasame street chacter video did sound shady and it was debunked. But those kids looked legit upset that the character ignored them and I felt bad for them.

I've had a hard time keeping up with the forum, as Soupe mentioned, I may be dealing with "a touch" of depression -- although I'm hoping it doesn't last much longer. I got a bit discouraged recently and it's colored a lot of my thoughts these days. I hope everyone is doing well though.

Today something interesting happened I have had no desire to live after my wife passed away but I'm not suicidal I just don't want to live. Well today I was have thoughts of dieing as usual and for the first time in I don't know how long but I said in my head that I want to live not die. I have plans and I look forward to completing them. I would like to thank everyone in here for being there for me. I'm still depressed but I now have the desire to live.

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I think the new med is working pretty well. I still have the nausea but my anxiety is better. I went to get lab work done that my blood doctor wanted and there wasn't an issue. I didn't even feel the needle go in. While I was waiting some lady went into the bathroom and then came out and said to the lady waiting "I forgot to do the most important thing." And she went and flushed the toilet but then didn't wash her hands. It was kinda gross. Today I'm just hanging out. I slept in an extra half hour and I'm working hard at getting up at the same time. Then I was half an hour late on my first valium. But everything else has been on time. I need to drink more water though. Update: yeah now I'm showing the classic signs of dehydration but I'm also pretty nauseated as well from the pristiq. So I'll have to figure out something since I feel like I'm going to throw up if I drink water even though I'm thirsty. I'm getting bad Twilight Zone vibes because of this heat. I wonder what will happen in the next 5 years. The racist seasame street chacter video did sound shady and it was debunked. But those kids looked legit upset that the character ignored them and I felt bad for them.

Wow, it's a huge thing that the new med is decreasing your anxiety! The nausea sucks, though. That's why I'm stopping Zoloft. I can't live with that nausea anymore.

This heat is creepy, downright alarming.

The Sesame Street video was debunked? Hmh, I'm not really surprised. The little kids did look crushed, though. It was sad.

Quote:

Originally Posted by otroo Today something interesting happened I have had no desire to live after my wife passed away but I'm not suicidal I just don't want to live. Well today I was have thoughts of dieing as usual and for the first time in I don't know how long but I said in my head that I want to live not die. I have plans and I look forward to completing them. I would like to thank everyone in here for being there for me. I'm still depressed but I now have the desire to live. Sent from my SM-S901U using Tapatalk

I'm glad you have checked in. You know we're always here for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina My trip to SS office was helpful. I can use the ticket to work program and work as many hours as I want to for 9 months while keeping my SSDI then if I drop to less than 1300 a month I can continue to work part time and it not effect my SSDI. Ideally I’d like a part time job but we really really need the money so I’ll likely say F it and go full time. Today is my 17th wedding anniversary. I made homemade egg rolls for dinner we usually have them maybe once or twice a year. So a nice treat. This heat is literally melting me. We had like 7 mins of rain yesterday so it became a full on sauna! I am hot 24/7.. these psych meds make tolerating heat almost impossible. I’m sure many of you relate. Hugs friends Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

The heat is scary. I feel that the earth is suffering badly.

Do you have any ideas as to where you want to work?

I have OCD and this is one way it manifests. For me it helps to have a "safe song" (I both sing over and over and I twist lyrics into dirty words that I don't even say in reality). For me that is "You are my sunshine". When the OCD gets bad I sing it out loud and repeat once or twice and I usually get a break. I have another song or two that help but I can't think what they are right now. Other times it helps to listen to the song repeatedly.


It's miserable and I hope it is getting better for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 We got in the car to go out yesterday and I said forget this. The heat index was over 100 and I’m heat intolerant because of these meds. It was miserable outside of the pool. We’re going to go out this morning early while it’s bearable. Mom had a tough night so I slept in the wing back chair beside her. Rough on the body and very little sleep. Definitely will take a nap today if I can. Mom’s Norfolk terrier got ahold of a whole box of her dry food and ate a large number of the individual packets. I didn’t think much of it but I guess I should have. She hasn’t eaten in 2 days but has not gone to the bathroom either. I’m getting concerned. That dog is about the only thing keeping Mom going right now. I’ll call the vet this morning. Hugs to all.

How is your mom's pup doing?

You are an incredibly loving daughter, Jennifer. Your mom is blessed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed @*Beth*

Thank you, punkin'. That means a lot.

For days it’s been the same stupid country song. I don’t even like the song and that’s even worse. Lol it used to happen mostly when I was on the high but now it’s all the time. All of these things I’m experiencing have gotten worse over the last couple years but they’re not new-I just never opened up about them not even to my t til recently. He said we need to talk more about it next time

I generally hate the songs I fight with too. I hear it in the store and I'm stuck with it. Or something reminds me of songs from when I was a camp counselor and those are REALLY bad usually. My mind makes children's songs dirty, which tends to happen when I'm already paranoid or having some psychotic symptoms.


I hope your therapist is able to help you. I feel bad for you because I know how miserable and out of control I feel when that's happening a lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu The edibles weren’t a lot of help. The first thing I got was a headache and I did sort of sleep. In the twilight zone. I’m dreaming but know I’m in bed and sort of a awake. Was a strange sort of dream, disjointed and nonsense. So if anything I’m more tired now than I was last night.

That sounds horrible.


Years ago, I had a miscarriage during my 4th month of pregnancy. The devastation was beyond anything I can describe. I couldn't sleep, I'd just sit on the front steps of the house all night until dawn came. Finally, I was collapsing so someone suggested smoking some mj before bed. I did that, and it did help me to fall asleep. I'd get an hour of solid sleep, but then would awaken. But it was better than nothing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow I have OCD and this is one way it manifests. For me it helps to have a "safe song" (I both sing over and over and I twist lyrics into dirty words that I don't even say in reality). For me that is "You are my sunshine". When the OCD gets bad I sing it out loud and repeat once or twice and I usually get a break. I have another song or two that help but I can't think what they are right now. Other times it helps to listen to the song repeatedly. It's miserable and I hope it is getting better for you.

I've had OCD since I was a child. I hate it, but I'm kinda proud of myself because all of my life I've worked hard at getting it under control, and I do a pretty okay job of it.

Interestingly, OCD frequently comes along with BD. @Soupe du jour gave me a link to an article about it not too long ago.