Bipolar check-in #67

Medicaid came through!!! Finally!! First time since February I have healthcare I don't have to pay for completely out of pocket. Of course, bureaucracies being bureaucracies, I found out the good news when the free clinic canceled my Friday appointment out of the blue. No goodbye. No transfer of care. Just the medical equivalent of "Get off my lawn!" I lucked out though! The local clinic that works with the same hospital has an appointment for tomorrow. No extra paperwork, I have a proper provider, referrals can actually be made rather than hoped for, I can actually pick up meds in town. A good day so far!

I am an American but can only speak as a central New Jerseyan. As of now, no one in New Jersey is supposed to be carrying a firearm on them, even concealed, unless they are heading to or in the process of hunting an animal for which they have a license to hunt or have some other special use permit. For this reason, I was generally never that worried about anyone "packing heat with the intent of possible murder". Obviously there are criminals that do, but they are thankfully not that common. It does seem the case that the supreme court is trying to "shoot holes" in some of New Jersey's restrictions. That is NOT appreciated!

New Jersey is generally a fairly liberal state in the most densely populated parts, but with some more moderate conservatives, and a very small number of more hard right types mostly in the north and south. Most New Jerseyans like common sense gun control and there is more of it than in conservative-leaning states.

Honestly, I hope it won't get to the point where state residents avoid venturing beyond the borders of their desired influences. It would be a shame if "them and us" attitudes further threaten the "United" part of the United States of America.

As for the gun obsession in other parts of the US, it might be worth a read to see Gun culture in the United States - Wikipedia In this you'll see that New Jersey, Massachusetts, and Hawaii have the lowest household gun ownership rates. Thank goodness!

It wasn't guns that contributed to my wanting to move to Europe. It was more the struggle to keep up with the high cost of living in New Jersey, the high cost of health and drug coverage, and the general hostility/hate that is brewing in other parts of the country. Yes, there are cheaper places to live in the US than central New Jersey, but they aren't ones I wanted to move to more than where I recently did (Czechia). It's a real shame! I do love my country. Or sadly, perhaps it's more accurate to say that I love central New Jersey and Bucks County Pennsylvania. After traveling around the US, I found there are some beautiful places with some great people, but they didn't feel like home to me.

Anyways, what the heck would a gun do to improve my life? It doesn't show me love or friendship. It doesn't help me live better, financially. It doesn't keep me well, mentally and physically. It doesn't improve the roads so they don't have traffic jams or pot holes. To me, guns are just a very stupid and dangerous thing that's very freakily worshiped by a good portion of the US population. What a pity! There are much higher priorities even for them, for life improvement, and yet it seems to be one of one political parties biggest passions...or rather, a way of deflection.

I'm glad to read that you now have that security and peace of mind, Aurelius!

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour Beth, you don't have AC? Or you just don't choose to use it at night? That is just horrible those temperatures. You may recall that when I was in France, it was up to 104 F for two of the days. It was beyond anything I'd experienced since maybe a couple times in NJ some time in the 1980s. But back then I was obviously much younger and not on psych meds. Do try to stay as cool as possible. The heat can be dangerous. I fear with global warming that more people will die in the future from heat. Many houses in Europe (and around the world) don't have AC. In the house we live in now there is a special AC unit in a bedroom upstairs. Hubby has a strong fan that blows it towards his office. Downstairs we have a weird thing that I'd never seen before here. You can see it here.

I, too, fear global warming. That it exists could not be more evident than it is here. We have no real winter anymore. We have a mild cooling-off period (with 3 separate days of a few hours of rain this past winter!), we did have a semi-spring (but only a few hours, one day, of rain). Then this blasting heat. The trees here grow especially tall and large because of the high and intense sun. The trees are gorgeous - but the are dying and breaking from the lack of hydration. It's dangerous.

During the winter and spring we used to have a solid 2 to 3 days of rain every couple of weeks. No more.

I have a decent window a/c. My kitchen is nice and cold, living room pleasant, bedroom warm, bathroom hot. I try to open the windows at night (with fans on) because I crave the air and because the cost of running the a/c constantly is so high.

Driving to the ocean for a few days to cool off and refresh oneself used to be de rigueur every summer. Nowadays the coast is also experiencing oddly high temperatures and few places have a/c, since in the past the coast was pleasant/cool/cold.

104 degree temperatures are common here in the summer - as are temperatures that reach 108 - 112. Gas prices are definitely prohibitive at this time, as far as driving to the nearest body of water - which is actually only 50 miles from here - but gas at $6/gallon is just too much.

I love water and drink a whole lot of it, which is good.

Thanks for the photo of "the thing" How well does it work?

Wonderful! I have seen the cover of some books at the library that says something about the connetion between good stomac health and good emotional health.

Wish you the best!

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Originally Posted by unlived I really don’t mean this in a “my country is better than yours” type way but how do people in America live like that? Not knowing if someone has a gun or if they’re gonna get shot at school or going shopping or pretty much anywhere for any reason. Especially someone who already has anxiety. I couldn’t live like that… I’d never be able to leave my house.

Yes, it has become that bad in the US. I'm in California, so a bit less of the gun-toting mentality here, but I'm still on my guard any time I'm in public - or while in my apartment! Last summer we had 3 gang-related shootings (deaths) within 2 blocks of where I live. I heard the shootings, screaming, etc.

The gun situation is an enormous stress for Americans - and STILL there are so many who are eager to carry guns, own rifles, etc. The situation is not good.

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Originally Posted by Aurelius710 Medicaid came through!!! Finally!! First time since February I have healthcare I don't have to pay for completely out of pocket. Of course, bureaucracies being bureaucracies, I found out the good news when the free clinic canceled my Friday appointment out of the blue. No goodbye. No transfer of care. Just the medical equivalent of "Get off my lawn!" I lucked out though! The local clinic that works with the same hospital has an appointment for tomorrow. No extra paperwork, I have a proper provider, referrals can actually be made rather than hoped for, I can actually pick up meds in town. A good day so far!

***FANTASTIC!*** Hoo-freakin'-ray!!!

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Originally Posted by Soupe du jour My psychiatrist removed 50 mg of my 550 mg Seroquel XR (Quetiapine XR or in Czech Republic, it's called "Kventiax Prolong"), but then added 200 mg of regular instant release. All to take at night. I haven't been on this much Seroquel for a while, especially the instant release. I'm a little concerned that the instant release will cause more side effects than I get from the XR (Prolong). I told him that I've had sleep issues for over a week and the mood issues. Since Hubby wasn't feeling well I saw my psychiatrist and went to the pharmacy (lekarna) alone, the latter of which I've done once before. The pharmacist got so nervous, likely because of my language difficulties. I was nervous, too, and started to sweat. Our Czech verbal exchange was more than I'm used to and was unnecessary, in my view, as all she needed to do was scan the bar codes, get the meds, ring them up and take my money. She was trying to tell me how much and when to take of each of my meds. I Google translated "I know, I've taken all of these medications for years" and said other things I had to answer, during the course. She seemed shocked by the amount of medications I was getting filled. My psychiatrist gave me enough for three months (all of my meds) again, and unlike in the US, they are in push through packets sold in boxes. In total, there were 15 boxes that filled an entire plastic grocery bag, while in the US there would be 6 small to large bottles. She must think I'm a most extreme mental case. Just kidding. Or maybe not. Anyway, she apparently made a mistake with my order and only realized by the time we got home. She called apologizing profusely and absolutely insisted she come to our house tonight to rectify it. Oh my! Luckily for her (and me), Hubby will be here to talk to her.

Oh, dear. Kudos to you, Soupe, for stepping up to the there-must-be-a-conversation-in-Czech plate! But I'm pretty sure that most Europeans think Americans are crazy, so...

How kind of her to come by and rectify the situation. Imagine. Such a strange feeling for us Americans.

I am sorry about the "two party" movments in the US around owning weapon or not owning weapon.

I have visitet US some year ago and I loved it.

Yes, I suppose it is cheaper to live in the Check republic then in US. I have visited the Check republic as well. I loved that as well!

To further comment on the gun issue - I'm with Freud on this one. i.e., the gun and the rifle = representation of a powerful phallus.

I missed all the excitement on the 6th hearing today. Took everyone to lunch. Then we came home and had cupcakes.

Boy my granddaughter loves her gymnastics classes. She did flips, cartwheels, bridges and splits for us. She starts swimming after the 4th. A real ball of fire with her red hair.

On the gun issue, I’ve never thought anyone was gonna shoot me here but when I lived in Texas it could be iffy. Mostly I was afraid of the cops because being Deaf I wouldn’t hear any commands. And there’s cops everywhere downtown in Austin. Not in Austin but another Texas city they shot a disabled man in a wheelchair! No, he didn’t have a gun.

I think my therapist wants to switch me to someone who specilizes in eating disorders. She says she won't but then she keeps talking about me meeting with this other higher up therapist who works with eating disorders. I asked her today "are you going to back door me and switch me to her because I've had this happen before where therapists say I'm stuck with them and then after awhile they say they are not qualified to work with me so they switch me" she said to me "no I won't switch you but if I did you'd be in great hands because this therapist knows a ton about eating disorders." So I kinda took that as "I'm not going to switch you right now but, I'll throw you under the bus whenever I feel like I need to." Its just dumb because I asked her at our very first session if she worked with people with EDs since the last 2 therapists told me they wouldnt work with me because of it and she said "yeah I know about that stuff and am comfortable with it." Its just like really frustrating you know... I know I have issues with food and our sessions mainly talk about eating and weight loss and stuff but I just wish she was upfront with me at the start the way I was upfront with her at the start and said that I had some issues

No, we don't, Beth! But I have to admit that, among others, it is very difficult to understand the Medicare related stuff. Many European countries, but not all have free hospital for their citizen and partly free meds.

Last time I visited a doctor, the paying machine refused to take my bank card. I told it to a person in the reception and she said: "You shall not pay for medications or for health service the rest of the year". "But what about the blood tests I took", I asked "They are free as well" she answered.

Before we get the free pass, we only pay partly what our medications cost if they are nesecary and for long-time use. I cannot understand why some Americans insists on health care insurances, while we pay for the health care part on our tax paying card. That means among others, that when our parents become old, they do not send the bill to their grown up children.

Well, well, different cultures ...

So do I.

I fear it’s a race between climate change and the far right becoming global power.

I still struggle with Covid. Especially my ears and my head seem to suffer the most!

Get better soon gogo2

I live in a particularly rural part of a particularly red state, so I might have a slightly different take. I think a lot of the allure of guns for people comes less from having the choice and more from the idea of frontier self-reliance. The idea of being able to take care of yourself in the big bad wild without outside help. Of course, it's 2022 and there's not a lot of big bad wild left in America. That said, hunting is huge here, so I get having a hunting rifle and/or shotgun. I can even comprehend having a handgun in the home to protect you and yours from danger. I have no desire to own a gun, but there's a logic to those arguments.

What I can't comprehend are those who take their handgun to Walmart to buy a video game, bring a long rifle to a political rally and have engraved plaques with the text of the Second Amendment and an AR-15 etched into it. All of these, I have personally witnessed. They're peacocking obviously ("Look at me! Look at me!"), but they're looking for a reason too. It makes me distrust them on sight, because I don't know what the reason will be.

I wish we lived in less interesting times.

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Originally Posted by Nammu I missed all the excitement on the 6th hearing today. Took everyone to lunch. Then we came home and had cupcakes. Boy my granddaughter loves her gymnastics classes. She did flips, cartwheels, bridges and splits for us. She starts swimming after the 4th. A real ball of fire with her red hair. On the gun issue, I’ve never thought anyone was gonna shoot me here but when I lived in Texas it could be iffy. Mostly I was afraid of the cops because being Deaf I wouldn’t hear any commands. And there’s cops everywhere downtown in Austin. Not in Austin but another Texas city they shot a disabled man in a wheelchair! No, he didn’t have a gun.

It sounds like the day was a fabulous success! Oooh, I love red hair.

My uncle was deaf. The gentlest, kindest man. He grew up in Brooklyn, lived in NYC as an adult, where he worked as an accountant. Was given a command by a cop to stop once (he was walking & they were looking for a robbery suspect). He didn't hear them and they roughed him up. It was horrible.

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Originally Posted by GoGo2 I am sorry about the "two party" movments in the US around owning weapon or not owning weapon. I have visitet US some year ago and I loved it. Yes, I suppose it is cheaper to live in the Check republic then in US. I have visited the Check republic as well. I loved that as well!

Where did you visit in the States?

Both my daughter and granddaughter have red hair! My daughter loves her hair color and has never dyed her hair.

Yeah, I’ve heard stories about things like that. Once during a “wellness “ check on me, I was sound asleep and they broke my door down and surrounded me in my bed with guns drawn. I say that was really something to wake up to! My poor cat had climbed in bed with me and was trying to hide under me, he was so scared.

We played host to a friend's cat for about a day and a half. The cat was so scared it hid in our basement. We had to search for the cat three times and we eventually just let it stay there, we put it's food and litter box close by. We haven't had a cat in the house since ours died 3 years ago.

Although I'm Canadian, I'm closely watching the January 6th committee hearings on CNN. It's very interesting and I find it pretty cool that people can be so patriotic (the committee members and those testifying).

July 1 is the sixth anniversary of my sister's death. We're going to get together with my mother and look at photos and tell stories of my sister.

I had a migraine last night that didn't go away after two doses of Sumatriptan. I somehow fell asleep with the migraine and woke up feeling okay. But now it's come back. I took one pill at 6:30 and I'll take a second at 8:30. But that's the max I can take in 24 hours- 4 pills. It's just enough painful to make falling asleep difficult but not to where I'm writhing in pain. It's on my mind constantly though. I'd love to get that shot they give at the Dr's office that kills migraines in a matter of minutes but of course they're not open. I hate to go to the ER for a migraine because they'll think I'm a drug seeker. Then again, if I wait too long I won't be physically able to drive my car and I'd have to call an ambulance.

My tooth is gone, it took all of ten minutes! And I was only in pain for the rest of the day, as long as I don’t chew on that side it’s no problem.

The endoscopy was terrifying, I was nearly crying in the surgery center. It really had nothing to do with the actual procedure, it was just that I had to change into a hospital gown and give up all my stuff and I felt out of control of myself, like I was back in the crisis center knowing my freedom was about to be ripped from me and sent IP. To top that off I was so worried the anesthesia was going to feel just like ECT anesthesia. It was just one huge traumatic incident. But it’s over. She said there was “nothing remarkable” but my stomach was inflamed. But I suppose that’s perfectly normal . She took biopsies, of what I have no idea but I guess I’ll find out in two weeks.

I’m still having the pain btw. I don’t even know what to do. I guess keep record and wait until she contacts me. But I don’t want to go through a bunch of scary tests.

Anyway I’m extremely irritable, likely because I quit nicotine on Friday (can’t use a vape with a pulled tooth) and it’s also a hormonal issue, and I’m just so unbelievably disgusted with certain things that are going on in the US. I’m so mad that I’m still in program and I’m going to tell my clinician enough is enough. Since CR is having his surgery next week I will no longer be available 3x a week 3hrs/day. I need to be home for my boy and available to drop everything if he needs me.

Part of having a migraine is feeling hot - your head mostly. I just took my 2nd -and last- Sumatriptan dose 25 minutes ago. I've got cold water in the hot water bottle which is on my chest and an ice pack below my head at the base of my skull. I hope this 2nd pill does the trick . None of the other 3 in the last 24 hours have worked.