Bipolar check-in #68

@MuddyBoots

Just for tonight do something you enjoy. Read, listen to music, watch tv, take up another of your favorite hobbies.

So, today was... interesting.

For starters, my would be fish fry didn't work out courtesy of some bad oil in the fryer. It didn't look the part, but the overriding smell of vinegar all but confirmed it. Lucky for me, I was able to throw together something basic and get out the door and head to work with a full stomach.

Work today was enlightening. I was able to get in contact with my immediate supervisor who was 10x better to work with than the other one. She actually defined the parameters of the job which was intriguing. I'm essentially a franchise of one. Not only am I selling phones in a retail setting, but I have the independence to attract customers and facilitate those sales in any way I wish! I'm already brainstorming ideas!

I also have to keep one eye open. There's another sales rep who works for a rival company and sells phones for different carrier. Without getting too technical, I sell prepaid services you buy a card for and he sells more expensive postpaid services (classic ATT, Verizon) that you bundle stuff with. The other guys knows his product, believes in it and works hard for the sale. One of his ways of working hard for the sale: trying to steal customers from me the second they ask for space. I turn my back for one second and he's sidling up to them trying to sell his product annoying them to the point they walk away. He did that three times today. It got to the point where I had to stand between him and my customers, blocking his view and access.

Of course, if that wasn't working, I was only too happy to send him customers from his carriers that had big issues to resolve in what I guess you could call "malicious compliance." If the customer isn't interested in my stuff, my bosses don't want me getting involved in their phone business. Understandable, and I don't want to lose my job helping the competition. If the competition is there and technically has the ability to help them, why not send them his way and get him out of my hair for a little bit? Also, I made an interesting discovery overhearing some of his interactions. He can sell, but has no follow-through. Some very important technical and logistical questions were answered with what amounted to "I don't know." in sales speak.

I'm pretty sure I've got him sized up!

Tomorrow, I start making plans for my "franchise!" I'm actually looking forward to it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stressreleaser That seems to be good.

Welcome to the forum

@Stressreleaser welcome 🤗

@Stressreleaser Hiya! Welcome!

I am very, very frightened for you @MuddyBoots. Like so many (most) addicts I've known, including my sister (who died from and OD a few years ago), you are such an interesting, deep, intuitive, multi-textured soul. Part of me holds you hand and hangs on so tight, and part of me cannot reach out and hold you at all because the pain if I lose you just hurts too much and I have to protect myself from it.

Don't waste time and energy on shame.

No fair tonight because David is in too much pain from his bike accident. We'll try for tomorrow evening, instead. But it's fun because I can hear noise from the fair in my bedroom. I really want to go on a roller coaster, but I think they have only a toddler one. That'd be fine with me, but I doubt they'd let me on.

The poor crickets are invading indoor places because they're desperate for water. There's a cricket under my refrigerator and it sings night and day. Such pretty music. I feel sorry for it.

I'm going to sit in bed and read. I just drank a pint glass of orange juice, a pint glass of lemon La Croix, a pint glass of sarsaparilla, and a pint glass of spirulina kombucha - with water in between. I could easily drink more.

I'll be going to an end-of-summer (GOD I love those words!) picnic for my high school grad class on September 17th. It will be in a lovely old park in Sacramento, in a neighborhood where David and I raised our kids, very close to where I grew up. I'm looking forward to the gathering. My high school was inner-city, extremely diverse. I love that. I grew up with many of the people and have stayed in touch with them. I feel very lucky about that.

~Love to each of you~

I got back from my trip just fine. We stopped at an old school bakery on our way home and I got some cookies and a 2 pack tin foil container of apple dumplings. I've been wanting to try those for over 27 years ever since I first saw Snow White. I love when Doc calls them crapple dumpkins Anyways I came home and I had left everything a mess so I had a lot of cleaning to do. Everything is clean now for the most part. I need to work on organzing the fridge. I think I am finally getting used to the prestiq and the side effects are going away.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I got back from my trip just fine. We stopped at an old school bakery on our way home and I got some cookies and a 2 pack tin foil container of apple dumplings. I've been wanting to try those for over 27 years ever since I first saw Snow White. I love when Doc calls them crapple dumpkins Anyways I came home and I had left everything a mess so I had a lot of cleaning to do. Everything is clean now for the most part. I need to work on organzing the fridge. I think I am finally getting used to the prestiq and the side effects are going away.

That's cute. What did you think of them?

I could never do sales, so am impressed by people like you who are so good at it.

I cut my seroquel down to 25mg last night because I went to the gym late (6:30pm) and I was already tired as all hell. I slept soundly from about 9pm to 8:30am! Almost 12 hours. But I feel refreshed this time, I’m not tired still from the med so that’s good. I’m gonna keep trying 25mg this week so I can wake up earlier to get ready for work starting on 9/1. I’ll take the 25mg at 8:30 as usual and do my wind down meditation because that really helps a lot. If I can’t sleep by like 10:30 I’ll take more but hopefully I won’t have to.

I think my mattress is causing my back pain (along with a possible herniated disk again). It’s unfortunate because it’s a new mattress but we might be out of the return policy so maybe I’ll just put a thin topper on it. Not the 4 inch one we had before, just an inch or two.

I did sign up for Cobra insurance so my hospital stay and hopefully my IOP will be covered. It’s retroactive to when it got cut off. It was expensive but less expensive than paying tens of thousands for a hospital stay!

I hope everyone has a calm and pleasant day.

@MuddyBoots

I am sending loving, healing vibes to you. I understand your fear and it WILL pass as long as you do what your NP and ACT team recommends. I know you don’t trust them because you can’t trust anyone right now but it will pass, hold on tight and it will.

I haven't had them yet. They are good until the 23rd. I've had a couple of the cookies which were ok.

So exhausted and sleeping more hours of the day than not. It’s wearing me out to type this out. I don’t know if it’s physical or mental. Really dragging. I apologize for not getting to my private messages sooner. I can’t right now. I will when I’m back on my feet. This is the third weekend in a row I’ve had to cancel on seeing my daughter. Serious bummer. I hope to feel better soon.

I hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

@MuddyBoots you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I stayed up till three in the morning watching My Lottery Dream Home. I’m just so tired of laying there for hours tossing and turning not falling asleep till 5-6am. So I figured what the hay and watched TV. Still it took me until 5:30 to fall asleep, then I woke up at 7:30. cool dream though. There a small airport down the road, it only has small planes and corporate jets, but in my dream there was an established Mom & Pop restaurant there. They were funding a theater to add to the restaurant and there was a lot of theater people in the dream. At one point it didn’t seem like their dream would be realized but they rallied around and the dinner theater was born.

It could be both physical and mental. When I was Vitamin D deficient I could do nothing but sleep all day. Bloodwork can tell if you have something like that.

I'm having trouble finding a good balance between having fun and doing chores. I thought i was neglecting my chores because i was going out too much and having fun. So i've been staying home and getting things done which i'm really pleased about. But i guess i stayed home TOO much because yesterday at home i was miserable and did not get anything done. Might as well go out and have fun, i figure. So today i headed downtown and had a super fun time, people-watching and shopping the artisans. I went early and the weather was fine but by noon it was sweltering and i was slick with sweat waiting at the bus stop. I was so happy to come home to air conditioning. But i feel happy to have had such a satisfying adventure. I will experiment more with striking the right balance between fun and chores. With my bipolar i have to be constantly adjusting because i have such boundless energy when i'm manic and such puny energy when i'm depressed. It's a balancing act!

@Soupe du ; have you ever visited Houska castle? I subscribe to an email about interesting facts, and today they mentioned this castle as being approximately 40 miles north of the city you are moving to. It’s supposed to be the most haunted place in the world! Built on the gateway to hell.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 ...

I'm so sorry. You sound completely drained. Please know that I'm sending you love.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu @Soupe du ; have you ever visited Houska castle? I subscribe to an email about interesting facts, and today they mentioned this castle as being approximately 40 miles north of the city you are moving to. It’s supposed to be the most haunted place in the world! Built on the gateway to hell.

Ooh, that sounds enticing.

I’m here ! I’m here ! I’m here !

Whew no way to catch up but from this point on I’m back in the swing of things !

Eye update it’s still very sore but considering a week ago I could only see light and dark I’m relieved. Just going to take more time to heal.

We got a taste of Fall the other day ! Was glorious. Back hot again but our 100 degree temps are done for the year I think.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

@Christina ;Welcome back! So glad to hear the good news!

David and were going to the fair this evening, but for some reason my energy is low. It may be the usual...I was manic, then started the lithium, stopped being manic - but also lost my enthusiasm and motivation. I feel like I just want to stare at the wall. Music does help, music is a blessing.


My son, Noah, called this morning and said he and Kim will be here in town to visit David and I tomorrow. I'm so excited to see them, but just couldn't muster the energy to do the fair and then put my energy into seeing the kids. And my priority is with them, so I will try for an early bedtime, or at least an earlier one than usual.

I checked my bank account this morning only to find more fraudulent charges on it. Get this - a charge for crossing the border from Mexico into California. If I wasn't so darn irritated with it I would find that amusing. But seriously, what a bunch of aggravation.

Currently 107 degrees, but the temperature will drop down to 64 tonight! At least that will provide some cool air.

Where's @Soupe du jour? And @MuddyBoots, how goes it today?

Armfuls of sunflowers to you and you and you and~**~***~~*~~*~**~**~***~*~***~**~***~**~

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina I’m here ! I’m here ! I’m here ! Whew no way to catch up but from this point on I’m back in the swing of things ! Eye update it’s still very sore but considering a week ago I could only see light and dark I’m relieved. Just going to take more time to heal. We got a taste of Fall the other day ! Was glorious. Back hot again but our 100 degree temps are done for the year I think. Hope everyone is having a good weekend! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hey there, chickie! I am so relieved to hear that your eye is healing. I was worried. I had a co-worker once, she was in her 20's. She liked to wear glitter eye shadow and one night she got a piece of glitter in her eye. She got the glitter out, but her vision was not clear and her eye was in pain. I told her she absolutely had to go to the ER. So she had a corneal ulcer, etc., etc. - and lost sight in her eye. It was such a sad situation.

Ohhhh, no more 100's sounds divine!

Christina, am so glad that your eye is better!!!!!!!.
Beth I am not a fan of cold weather at all.

we only get a few weeks of winter here it actually
snowed a few years ago. then one year we had
an ice storm closed almost all of the bridges except
one that I could cross over it was not closed so

I could get home. I also have raynauds condition where
my fingers and toes turn white and throb when warming them up.
It runs in my family.I hate the cold, snow was fun as a child
snow days led to inter-tubing, and sledding down this great big hill.
any way.give me warmer weather over cold any day.
but this humidity with all of the rain is brutal.
bizi

I went with my bf to the state fair today. We all all kinds of animals which really since I’m a country girl
I shouldn’t have been so excited haha fair food mmmmmm! Certainly got my exercise