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  #651  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 08:51 AM
Soupe du jour Soupe du jour is offline
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I'm feeling frustrated with my husband's procrastination and other slowness. There are so many urgent things we should do that aren't getting down. I've done tons of research and sent him proposals, and he never likes my ideas. He always has such extremely high standards that will ultimately cost us more than we need to pay. It's like I live with a wanna be prince. I'm such a polar opposite to him in that sometimes I even rush to get things done too hastily. Wish there was an in between to this. In the end, we wait until the last minute. People end up calling and emailing him wondering why nothing has been done. Much of the stuff I can't do, given language issues. Often even if I could, I'm prevented from doing so. All I seem to be able to contribute is housewife stuff and teeny extras.
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  #652  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 08:54 AM
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By tommorow afternoon I will have a new legal name. I am super excited. Last night I slept good for the first time in 2 days. So I have energy today. I don't have anything planned though today. I was thinking of getting my haircut but I don't really need to get it cut and I'm still on the hospital payment plan and the doctors payment plan and then there was my trip last week too. So I'm a bit short of money right now and I asked my mom if I needed to get my haircut and she said it looked ok. But anyways I feel much better then I did this weekend. I think maybe my trip just wore me out. I have another trip coming up on September 1st when I see my pdoc in person. Then the baby is coming on the 27th of September. So it will be busy starting tommorow.
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  #653  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 10:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Beth* View Post
What is an oxygen sensor @moose?
It's part of a car. Not sure what or why it does it but I'm pretty sure that you can drive a car with a broken one.
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  #654  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 11:13 AM
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And after a day and a half of sleep I'm back. Not doing well. Thanks for the support.

An oxygen sensor regulates the air to fuel ratio in the engine. You can in theory drive a car with a busted O2 sensor, but you really shouldn't as it can cause damage to the engine since the O2-fuel ratio would be off so the combustion wouldn't be the precise amount it needs to. If there's too much oxygen you can really f**k up your spark plugs or pistons. If there's too little it won't run as efficiently and it won't run as well.
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Last edited by MuddyBoots; Aug 22, 2022 at 11:27 AM.
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  #655  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 11:21 AM
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downandlonely downandlonely is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneRedux View Post
So i'm feeling pretty shattered now. It's an important anniversary today for me and i only had six online messages today, three of which spelled my name wrong. My real name isn't Jane, it's something unusual. I always feel destroyed when someone spells my name wrong. I feel self-conscious and sensitive about my name and it's just so painful when people get it wrong. The messages were over Facebook, where my name is spelled out correctly just two centimeters above so there's no excuse. I felt hope die for me for a few hours today. I ate a cake in the parking lot of Walmart. I've got mixed-mood now, i guess, i was happy and laughing after the hours of despair, thinking about an elaborate lie i'd tell about how the day went if anyone asked. I got really zany. Mixed-mood is somewhat harder than just straight depressed because it's so hard to manage, so unpredictable and exhausting. If last year is any indication, i'll have mixed-mood for the rest of August and September before i finally switch into straight depression in October. What an absurd life this is.

I should probably just legally change my name to Jane. I don't have the energy now but come next April when i get manic, i'll keep it in mind. I'm sick of being saddled with this unusual name. I don't know what my mom was thinking of when she gave me an unusual name. I just want to be Jane.

My name is Lara, but people keep spelling it Laura even when they see it. I don't think it's even a difficult name to spell.
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  #656  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 11:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneRedux View Post
So i'm feeling pretty shattered now. It's an important anniversary today for me and i only had six online messages today, three of which spelled my name wrong. My real name isn't Jane, it's something unusual. I always feel destroyed when someone spells my name wrong. I feel self-conscious and sensitive about my name and it's just so painful when people get it wrong. The messages were over Facebook, where my name is spelled out correctly just two centimeters above so there's no excuse. I felt hope die for me for a few hours today. I ate a cake in the parking lot of Walmart. I've got mixed-mood now, i guess, i was happy and laughing after the hours of despair, thinking about an elaborate lie i'd tell about how the day went if anyone asked. I got really zany. Mixed-mood is somewhat harder than just straight depressed because it's so hard to manage, so unpredictable and exhausting. If last year is any indication, i'll have mixed-mood for the rest of August and September before i finally switch into straight depression in October. What an absurd life this is.

I should probably just legally change my name to Jane. I don't have the energy now but come next April when i get manic, i'll keep it in mind. I'm sick of being saddled with this unusual name. I don't know what my mom was thinking of when she gave me an unusual name. I just want to be Jane.
I’m so sorry people keep spelling your name wrong. My real name is French in origin and it’s regularly mangled in pronunciation and in spelling. I feel for you.
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  #657  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 12:05 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Hello! It’s good to be here. Still exhausted and sleeping a lot but hope is in sight. I have an appointment with my medical doctor tomorrow to get checked out. Last time I was there, I had 2 different deficiencies and an infection. I had assumed they cleared up as had my doctor. Maybe not. Add to that the physical side effects of Zoloft for 2.5 months and I may get some answers soon. I sure hope so. I usually have energy to spare so whatever this is - be it physical or mental - has been tough. I also called my med provider this morning to let her know I’d have to get off the Zoloft and made an appointment with her and asked her to call me today. I’ll be right as rain before you know it.

I had a good session with my therapist this morning. Very helpful.

I hope everyone has a peaceful day.
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  #658  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 03:21 PM
Anonymous45330
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Thanks for the support @downandlonely and @Jennifer 1967. Jennifer, it's comforting to know that we both have unusual names and both choose to go by common names here on the forum.

I'm feeling steadier today. I dressed-up and several women admired my shoes and jewelry. Being a woman rocks!

@Mountaindewed:

Congratulations on your new name as of tomorrow. I got the paperwork to change my name legally in the late nineties but then everything went to Hell and i never followed thru on it. It takes a bit of will and determination to change your name!
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  #659  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 04:15 PM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JaneRedux View Post
So i'm feeling pretty shattered now. It's an important anniversary today for me and i only had six online messages today, three of which spelled my name wrong. My real name isn't Jane, it's something unusual. I always feel destroyed when someone spells my name wrong. I feel self-conscious and sensitive about my name and it's just so painful when people get it wrong. The messages were over Facebook, where my name is spelled out correctly just two centimeters above so there's no excuse. I felt hope die for me for a few hours today. I ate a cake in the parking lot of Walmart. I've got mixed-mood now, i guess, i was happy and laughing after the hours of despair, thinking about an elaborate lie i'd tell about how the day went if anyone asked. I got really zany. Mixed-mood is somewhat harder than just straight depressed because it's so hard to manage, so unpredictable and exhausting. If last year is any indication, i'll have mixed-mood for the rest of August and September before i finally switch into straight depression in October. What an absurd life this is.

I should probably just legally change my name to Jane. I don't have the energy now but come next April when i get manic, i'll keep it in mind. I'm sick of being saddled with this unusual name. I don't know what my mom was thinking of when she gave me an unusual name. I just want to be Jane.
My birth name was very hard to pronounce, and was not very popular at the time although its become somewhat trendy now. When I originally changed it people still misprounced it despite some very famous people with the name. Plus it was still too feminine for me. Finally I just chopped it up some more and I have my new name.
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  #660  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 04:23 PM
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No more Gabapentin, no more lithium. Been sick from the G. for months and the lithium pushed it over the edge. I was violently ill all night, could not stop vomiting. Completely drained. I slept many hours, still exhausted. Stopped the lithium and am titrating down on the G. I'm scared because I feel so weak and unwell. Guess I just have to wait it out.

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  #661  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 04:26 PM
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Beth, did you call med dude? That sounds like you may have had a high lithium level or lithium toxicity. You probably should have a level drawn just to be sure.


Toxicity is about the sickest I have ever felt in my life.

Hope you are feeling better.
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  #662  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 04:50 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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I’ve increased my hours at work to 20. This should help me get paid time
Off and holiday pay. I didn’t have any of that at 16
Hrs. It should help me be more apt to get tuition reimbursement for my grad school classes too hopefully
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  #663  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87 View Post
I’ve increased my hours at work to 20. This should help me get paid time
Off and holiday pay. I didn’t have any of that at 16
Hrs. It should help me be more apt to get tuition reimbursement for my grad school classes too hopefully
Hope you get some benefits.
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  #664  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 05:48 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow View Post
Beth, did you call med dude? That sounds like you may have had a high lithium level or lithium toxicity. You probably should have a level drawn just to be sure.

Toxicity is about the sickest I have ever felt in my life.

Hope you are feeling better.

Thank you, Rainbow. No I haven't called med dude because I'm afraid they'll put me in the (physical) hospital and I have to take care of my diabetic cat. To be honest, I do think I have lithium toxicity. I'm really sacred. I did eat a bunch of popsicles and held those down. If it's a mild toxicity will it go away on its own? When you had it how did they treat it?
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  #665  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 06:07 PM
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Mountaindewed Mountaindewed is online now
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Supposedly I've taken like 9 extra valiums. Um, no. I haven't. I remember taking excatly 4 extra since getting it refilled. My pharamacy screwed me over. So now I have to go to 2 a day and then call my pdoc on the 28th because I see him on the 1st but I'm seeing him in person and they will only fill the valium at my own pharamacy because its a controlled substance. So I have to count them now every time I get it filled although for some reason I thought I heard even if they don't give you the right amount theres still nothing you can do about it because you have to prove to them they are the ones at fault and thats hard to do. But yeah, no way have I ever taken 9 extras on purpose. So I've been cutting them into quarters and today it wasn't that bad although I'm a bit anxious right now. Theres really nothing I can do though until the 28th.
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  #666  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 06:18 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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Originally Posted by downandlonely View Post
Hope you get some benefits.
Thanks! I’m working hard to figure this stuff out
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  #667  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 06:22 PM
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Finally back in from seeing the neurologist. He was able to provide clarity, context and next steps going forward. It's still beyond me why I had to have a near seven month slog to get to this point, but what's done is done.

So, what I've learned is that I've got blood clots in the brain. Tiny things scattered about, but causing no real ruckus. The issue: they're normal for individuals in their 60s, 70s and 80s. The problem: I'm not in my 60s.

An added problem: They're not causing issues now, but they can get worse. So... I get to watch my blood pressure, watch my cholesterol, watch my migraines (I get 3-4 year) and probably something else.

Clarity can be a beautiful thing. Or at least useful. This might be the latter.
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Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Litany Against Fear (Dune)
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  #668  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 06:32 PM
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Beth- try to eat something and drink a crap ton of water. When I had Li toxicity they had me chug 6 bottles of water and eat a chicken salad to lower my levels (along with stopping it obviously)
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"What, are you crazy?"
"It's a possibility I haven't ruled out yet,"
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  #669  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 06:39 PM
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BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Beth* View Post
Thank you, Rainbow. No I haven't called med dude because I'm afraid they'll put me in the (physical) hospital and I have to take care of my diabetic cat. To be honest, I do think I have lithium toxicity. I'm really sacred. I did eat a bunch of popsicles and held those down. If it's a mild toxicity will it go away on its own? When you had it how did they treat it?

What is done depends on the person and doctor so don't think anything because of what I experienced. Gatorade is a pretty safe bet regardless of lithium being the cause or not. I do think you should call med dude for a level. By now your level may be low enough to be fine even if it was high earlier but you need to know that for sure. If you've been that sick for hours your body has probably flushed things out, whether it was lithium or food poisoning but you need to be sure.


I had 3 toxicities because it helped me so much that going off it was hard. The first time we skipped a few days doses, put me on a fluid diet for 24 hours (pedialyte) and restarted gradually with more frequent monitoring for a while. The 2nd time I had atypical symptoms (hallucinations were what I noticed; the hospital pointed out I was way off balance and having other symptoms I was ignoring because they weren't like the first toxicity) and was hospitalized on fluids for a few days until I wasn't seeing birds flying into my face and could walk without support. We tried taking me off the lithium in there (I think more than once) but I benefited from it so I was on a really low dose. That time when I got toxic I was really, really sick and should have gone to the hospital but was too sick to get there without an ambulance, which my mother almost called. That time we stopped it completely and did labs a few times until it was out of my system. I did try it once more time out of desperation before going on clozapine and tolerated it fine but it didn't do any good then so I was only on it a few weeks but without toxicity.


Please let med dude know. Like I said your level is probably lower now because you've gotten it out of your system. It is unlikely you'd be hospitalized if med dude is anything like my pdoc but you need to be sure it's down.
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  #670  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 06:40 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurelius710 View Post
Finally back in from seeing the neurologist. He was able to provide clarity, context and next steps going forward. It's still beyond me why I had to have a near seven month slog to get to this point, but what's done is done.

So, what I've learned is that I've got blood clots in the brain. Tiny things scattered about, but causing no real ruckus. The issue: they're normal for individuals in their 60s, 70s and 80s. The problem: I'm not in my 60s.

An added problem: They're not causing issues now, but they can get worse. So... I get to watch my blood pressure, watch my cholesterol, watch my migraines (I get 3-4 year) and probably something else.

Clarity can be a beautiful thing. Or at least useful. This might be the latter.

How strange. Does your neuro know why you have the clots?
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  #671  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 06:44 PM
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Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Beth* View Post
No more Gabapentin, no more lithium. Been sick from the G. for months and the lithium pushed it over the edge. I was violently ill all night, could not stop vomiting. Completely drained. I slept many hours, still exhausted. Stopped the lithium and am titrating down on the G. I'm scared because I feel so weak and unwell. Guess I just have to wait it out.

Hugs~
I’m so sorry you are sick. I hope you feel better soon. Sending hugs, prayers and healing vibes
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  #672  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 06:45 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
Beth- try to eat something and drink a crap ton of water. When I had Li toxicity they had me chug 6 bottles of water and eat a chicken salad to lower my levels (along with stopping it obviously)

Thank you, Boots. I always drink a ton of water, but I'll drink and drink today. It's weird, I'm drinking and drinking, but hardly pee. I don't think I can hold down solid food yet, but I've eaten a whole bunch of popsicles and held them down. David is bringing soda crackers a a couple of hours, so I'll try those in some beef broth.
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  #673  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 06:52 PM
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Aurelius710 Aurelius710 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *Beth* View Post


How strange. Does your neuro know why you have the clots?
Unknown. His theory is high blood pressure and migraines started the merry-go-round, but I've been taking blood pressure meds for two years and while I get migraines, I get four a year at most.

High cholesterol was also brought up, but the bile acid sequestarant I take is a cholesterol med as well.

So, a lot of theories, but no definite cause.
__________________
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
-Litany Against Fear (Dune)
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  #674  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 07:00 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow View Post
.....

Ohh, Gatorade is an excellent idea.

My feeling about lithium this week has been that it wasn't any more effective than a 300mg dose of Lamictal. And Lamictal has no side effects that I've noticed.

Rainbow, thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds horrible. The things that those of us with MI have to go through...cruel.
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  #675  
Old Aug 22, 2022, 07:04 PM
*Beth* *Beth* is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aurelius710 View Post
Unknown. His theory is high blood pressure and migraines started the merry-go-round, but I've been taking blood pressure meds for two years and while I get migraines, I get four a year at most.

High cholesterol was also brought up, but the bile acid sequestarant I take is a cholesterol med as well.

So, a lot of theories, but no definite cause.

I've had severe migraines since I was a child and for decades the medical advice was that migraines, while sometimes disabling, were harmless. It seems to me that that thought has been changing...that it is being recognized that migraines can cause serious neurological problems, even strokes.

Anyway, hopefully the blood clots will just sit there and not cause any problems for you.
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