Bipolar check-in #68

I’m so sorry you’re having that experience. That is really frustrating. My sister has found that to be true as well. It hasn’t been that way for me. I’ve lost a substantial amount of weight. I hope things start changing for you.

The art festival was a blast. We timed it perfectly. We got a great parking place one block off and got to the author’s stage just as they were starting. Got front row seats right in front of the podium. I was able to lip read no problem. The First Lady ( Karen E Cooper, When Minnehaha flowed with Whiskey) was a first time writer. She was so interesting that I bought her book, a history of the minihaha falls. Then was the main guy (William Kent Krueger, Fox Creek) that we came to see. His book was sold out. I’m going to go to the bookstore though and see if I can get a large print version for mum. He said he was number 1 with the most requested author by libraries. Then we listened to music and ate food truck food then looked at the art. The weather cooperated and no more rain, but it was humid. Ran into some people from the Y there. My sister went half with me and bought books. I’ll read them first then she will and pass them on.

Glad you had a good time! I always love hearing of your escapades. I know I’ve said that before but your posts help me smile. Thank you.

What a perfect day despite the humidity!

Yup, just took a shower to wash off the humidity and Sir jumped in with me as I reached out for my towel! He’s such a scamp! I’m not sure if it’s the heat and moisture he likes or the scents from my body wash. But it’s turning out to be a great day.

Has anyone seen the 1960's Time Machine movie? Thats what I think of when I hear of a nuclear disaster. But my mom said thats not what will happen. My mom pointed out I lived through one. I remember the earthquake but not the nuclear disaster. I do remember people were concerned Haiwai was going to be washed away though by a Tsunamni. I was 18 and a senior at that time.

Anyways I've had the rest of my night meds. My anxiety is still ok. My stomach still is off but I'm not in as much pain because of my last stomach pain med and I managed to eat some beef broth for dinner. So I'm hoping to just get to sleep early and have a fairly easy night sleeping so I can figure things out with my doctor.

I figured out why my brother in law always has such nice looking jeans. Because he spends a **** ton of money on them. He was showing me a pair he had on today that were $216. I'm not quite sure what the point in showing me them was since I asked where he got them from and he said "well, there kinda expensive." He can't drink caffeine yet loves soda but its not like I go around telling him about all the new Coke flavors because idk. I find it to be kinda rude I guess.

I just had THEE best swim! I really got some momentum going with my flip-turns. Floating was heavenly, as @Sunflower123 also so enjoys. It's an indoor pool, but it is in a pool house, with windows on all four sides and skylights and i was able to gaze at the trees and clouds and sky above. Since i'm so fat, being able to move around with joy instead of pain is really wonderful. The sensation i had relaxing after swimming was almost like the afterglow of being intimate. It's really a good experience for me and i will note it well for next April when i get hypersexual. I really enjoyed myself and look forward to more swims. I always like it when i take advantage of the amenities here at my condominium and really get my money's worth.

I've been cautioned about my earlier comment to @Mountaindewed. I meant it in all innocence and did not mean to make light of the transgender movement. I am an ally and supporter of gender fluidity and love in all it's forms. I'm very open-minded and liberal. I did not mean to sound insensitive and it saddens me that my enthusiasm of my experiment today dressing as a man could be taken negatively. But i can see that it might have sounded disrespectful to individuals who suffer because of their experience and wish i could delete the comment, but the window has timed out. I only meant to share my joy and i'm sorry if it was offensive. These days, the world is somewhat of a bewildering minefield to me and it is a shame that my innocent attempt to participate and share could be taken as malice. I am upset to have to confront that i live in such dangerous times that i cannot be my zany, loving self.

Having an adult trans daughter, I didn't find your post offensive. There are people who cross dress and they don't want to be that gender in terms of transitioning.

Thanks @Moose72, i am always unhappy when people take offense to my attempts to experiment and explore my curiosity. I was just trying being a man on for size and there were many things i liked about it. I liked not being smeared with make-up and festooned with jewelry. I liked not being burdened with a heavy purse. I liked all my clothes being merely functional and not highly decorative. I liked wearing simple, comfortable shoes. I liked feeling more comfortable with my big belly -- such an obscenity to have a big belly as a woman -- not so, as a man. It was very freeing and while i don't intend to transition i learned i DO like to cross-dress. It adds more variety to life, to experience life as another gender. My voice is a dead give-away tho, as it is high and feminine. I will have to work on striking a lower pitch when i cross-dress. It was such a transformative experience today, i was devastated to get negative feedback on it and so appreciate you chiming in, especially as a mom of a trans daughter!

So I learned someone I know trains service dogs virtually! It felt weird to tell someone that knows me as a homeschool parent in detail my issues (what I need the service dog to do.) She handled it very well but my heart is in my throat. I still haven't calmed down. Now 2 people people in my "professional" life know my diagnosis and how it affects me. BUT she's going to help and with the IN person stuff she'll help find someone. I'm hoping to have Artemis cgcu tested in April/May of this year. So hopefully by July she'll be ready to go into public.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed Has anyone seen the 1960's Time Machine movie? Thats what I think of when I hear of a nuclear disaster. But my mom said thats not what will happen. My mom pointed out I lived through one. I remember the earthquake but not the nuclear disaster. I do remember people were concerned Haiwai was going to be washed away though by a Tsunamni. I was 18 and a senior at that time. Anyways I've had the rest of my night meds. My anxiety is still ok. My stomach still is off but I'm not in as much pain because of my last stomach pain med and I managed to eat some beef broth for dinner. So I'm hoping to just get to sleep early and have a fairly easy night sleeping so I can figure things out with my doctor. I figured out why my brother in law always has such nice looking jeans. Because he spends a **** ton of money on them. He was showing me a pair he had on today that were $216. I'm not quite sure what the point in showing me them was since I asked where he got them from and he said "well, there kinda expensive." He can't drink caffeine yet loves soda but its not like I go around telling him about all the new Coke flavors because idk. I find it to be kinda rude I guess.

Sounds like your BIL is just showing off.

What earthquake? I have a vague memory about Hawaii. Ohhh...do you mean Fukoshima? Yeah, that was freaky scary. A lot of Californians worry because the Pacific is between Fukoshima and us. There's the ecological issue and the seafood issue.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom So I learned someone I know trains service dogs virtually! It felt weird to tell someone that knows me as a homeschool parent in detail my issues (what I need the service dog to do.) She handled it very well but my heart is in my throat. I still haven't calmed down. Now 2 people people in my "professional" life know my diagnosis and how it affects me. BUT she's going to help and with the IN person stuff she'll help find someone. I'm hoping to have Artemis cgcu tested in April/May of this year. So hopefully by July she'll be ready to go into public.

A zillion hugs! That was so courageous of you! I am not that brave.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots Getting better. Other than a little bit of the good ole green, I'm 5 days clean.

I'm loopy. I read your sig quote as "I lost an erection."

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina ........ I can’t catch up on everyone so I’m sending love and I’m now able to merge back into the lane here.. I think of this forum as a interstate LOL .......

Love to you, too, chickadoodle.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu ... I’m going to go to the bookstore though and see if I can get a large print version for mum. ...

What a wonderful outing!

You might try bookfinders.com and see if you can find the edition you want online.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaneRedux Thanks @Moose72, i am always unhappy when people take offense to my attempts to experiment and explore my curiosity. I was just trying being a man on for size and there were many things i liked about it. I liked not being smeared with make-up and festooned with jewelry. I liked not being burdened with a heavy purse. I liked all my clothes being merely functional and not highly decorative. I liked wearing simple, comfortable shoes. I liked feeling more comfortable with my big belly -- such an obscenity to have a big belly as a woman -- not so, as a man. It was very freeing and while i don't intend to transition i learned i DO like to cross-dress. It adds more variety to life, to experience life as another gender. My voice is a dead give-away tho, as it is high and feminine. I will have to work on striking a lower pitch when i cross-dress. It was such a transformative experience today, i was devastated to get negative feedback on it and so appreciate you chiming in, especially as a mom of a trans daughter!

The term may be "cultural appropriation." If, for example, you posted that you were celebrating Shabat on Friday nights so you could feel what it's like to be "like you, Beth, a Jew" I would feel weird.

'One Adam says to another "I lost an erection" "Dude, we're not Adams, we're atoms and you lost an ELECTRON!" "Oh, sheeet, I've been telling everyone that all day." '

Now you got me giggling

My husband seems to sleep portions of the day away. He's been blaming the medication pregabalin (Lyrica). I also take some pregabalin, though less, and agree it "slows down", but I think there's more going on. I push him a little to get going, but not too much.

I started tracking my eating after not doing so for a long time. I'm sick of my clothes being tight and have worried about the diabetes type 2 issue. In the past, I tracked for Hubby, too, but I'm not going to do that. He does eat the same foods as me at meals, but a little more, which is fine. However, he also consumes things I don't...and in the middle of the night. Last night I made a super meal of salmon tartare. Today I also have all of my eating planned. It will be an Indian & Middle Eastern food theme today. Vegetarian, except the strip of bacon I ate at breakfast.

@*Beth*:

Yeah, i can see now, Beth, that what i wrote initially was cultural appropriation. I was so excited i thought only of my own joy with my experiment. I didn't consider what the other person would feel like. I guess it's sort of like someone being super moody and saying they were like me because i am bipolar. I know i'd feel dissed. It's a tricky world!

I think it is worthy to like cross-dressing tho and i will continue to play with this, but i will not say to any trans men that it is like them, because of course it is not. I won't alter my voice or change my name either.

The issue of cultural appropriation is a challenging one for me because i am so curious and like to experiment and explore. I know Eastern men and women are delighted with my wildly-colored African kaftans but i guess the difference there is that this sort of dressing is not a target of controversy and a source of suffering.

When i grew up there was a Folklore Festival each year in our small city. Different ethnicities would set up food booths and have dance performances showcasing their various cultures. My dad was a history teacher and a lover of exotic food so he was delighted with it and he would take me and we would enjoy ourselves. I went to Lebanese Fest this year for just the very first time and had a ball. Felafel sounds like laughter!

I guess there is a line between celebrating a culture and appropriating it and i have to develop the skill to recognize it. I guess it's minority cultures that are currently suffering that are the issue.

And yet, even then, here in Canada we are having an Indigenous Renaissance and there are many traditional items, clothing included, belonging to that culture for sale. Our Indigenous are showing themselves to be energetic entrepreneurs!

If there's any culture that has suffered, it is the Canadian Indigenous, such a shameful chapter of our history. So it's a blurry line. I guess the key should be if the culture is OFFERING to share of themselves and at this time the trans movement is still too new and private and oppressed for all that.

It's just like my own culture, of the mentally ill. There is somewhat of a renaissance going on in our culture re mentally illness, with awareness skyrocketing and support exploding. Young people talk about their mental health openly and i am always shocked that they are so matter-of-fact about it.

It is welcome, of course, but it DOES require some adjustment. I am still not open about my bipolar but have been letting people know that i have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) which is pretty close to the truth. I am warming up to the new inclusivity. There was a truly wonderful character in "Ozark" who had bipolar and i thought they did a fabulous job of showing how painful it is. So maybe i will have the courage to admit to bipolar after all!

Cultural appropriation of Judaism was an episode of "Seinfeld" long before the term was even invented. Jerry's dentist converted to Judaism just for "joke telling immunity." He wanted to tell Jewish jokes without getting in trouble so he became a Jew. He said he would use a "shtickle" of fluoride on Jerry. Jerry was (properly) appalled and found the dentist's enthusiasm annoying and kept telling the dentist that he shouldn't say such things but the dentist was so enthusiastic he persisted. I guess i am like the dentist! (Note that the dentist was played by the eminently talented Bryan Cranston who went on to play Walter White in "Breaking Bad.")

I'll be more careful going forward. It's been an education!

Mmm, felafel...

Have you had a blood test to confirm / not confirm if you have Hypothyroidism?

Since your hair is coming back, it is probably not hypothyroidism. Hypothyroidism makes one very tired and one looses hair among other.

In case you need some information about it: Hypothyroidism - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic

Best wishes!

Hi, just in to say "HI". I am still struggling. I think it is physical tiredness, because I don't feel especially sad. I have several physical diseases, problems with my hypothyroid gland among other. My GP has lowered my Hyperthyroid medication a couple of months ago. I am looking forward to every day in the hope that I shall be able to go on with my life after the moving and after Covid. But every day I struggle with my energy. Tomorrow I will have the fourth shot (against covid).

I wish all of you a good day!

It’s not all about losing weight with managing diabetes - and I understand the weight thing believe me. I have several endocrine issues that make it very hard for me to lose weight. In the past before my “issues” I used to lose 11kg (24lb) a month easily. Now the only reason I can lose any weight at all is because of the sugar free stuff, calorie restriction and one of the diabetes meds I’m on (Ozempic) which is the low dose of the Wegovy weight loss drug but just for diabetes. (It was always designed for diabetes not weight loss). I know people going through menopause and post menopause who have had some success on it too. (I’m in a Facebook group where people talk about what they’re on it for). I realise this might sound like “I can do it so you have no excuse” but im really not trying to say that. I truly understand reasons for not being able to lose weight. I’ve lived that for years. I’m just trying to say that it’s possible and not to give up hope.

Just drifted off to sleep when the alarm went off! Really struggled to shut the stupid thing off this morning. Just after I finally got that done Sir jumped up and sneezed in my face! I’m up I’m up! But I did go to swimming and that was fun. Have fitness in 40 minutes

I chopped off about a foot of hair today. I am going to use wayyyyy too much shampoo next time I wash my hair haha. Didn't get a lick of sleep last night and I think I'm mildly hypomanic. I do know I am very very itchy. Feels like bugs are crawling under my skin!!!

When I adjusted my diet, I didn't lose much weight at all and look pretty much the same. However, my a1c went down and my blood sugar is now mostly in the normal range. And that's the important thing.