Bipolar check-in #68

I spent a great portion of the day with N1. She is finally getting her wisdom teeth out next week. I've offered to help if she needs it but her roommate has volunteered to take her to and from the appointment and help with her recovery which I'm happy about. Still, she said she'll call if she needs anything.

Just get in your bed and curl into a crying ball...it's ok

As far as I understand it there’s only two drugs for covid. One must be taken within days of your first getting sick and the other one is for those that are having an immune system response to covid. I don’t understand if they mean you’re very sick or are just having an inflammatory response. Take care. Feel better soon.

@*Beth*
When I've gotten tested, you called from your car- the number is on a sign in front of the parking space- and the person came out and tested you. You had to wear your mask until right before they did the test.

If you can't get one of those through your doctor's office there are places online that will send you tests for free.

I really really hope my good deed for today doesn't come back to bite me. I had a customer who required $1.07 to get his phone back up and running. He was very much stressing out about not being able to cover it. So, I agreed to help cover the amount and got him set up with some money on his card. I told him very clearly "I'm not supposed to be doing this and keep it on the down low." What does he do? Immediately tells those manning the money center counter what a swell guy I am for helping him with his phone. No sense of discretion at all! In order to avoid him blabbing to everyone in my immediate circle, I'm going to try and arrange a private phone number setup outside of the store. He might blab about that, but at least there I could go, "I dunno."

No good deed right?

That really sucks that he did that but maybe he was just very grateful.

*Beth* feel better soon. Everyone I know that went to the ER got fluids and sent home.

Are you okay?

Oh, I have no doubt he was, but I also made clear I wasn't exactly authorized to do what I did and we should keep it between us. It could very well make my life more complicated if word got to my bosses through the grapevine. I'll defend my actions if it comes to that, but I'd rather it not.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moose72 @*Beth* When I've gotten tested, you called from your car- the number is on a sign in front of the parking space- and the person came out and tested you. You had to wear your mask until right before they did the test. If you can't get one of those through your doctor's office there are places online that will send you tests for free.

Thanks, Moose.

Yeah, I had to be tested before I had achilles surgery a couple of years ago and they did it in my car.

I just signed up to have a free test sent to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom *Beth* feel better soon. Everyone I know that went to the ER got fluids and sent home.

Thank you, Mm

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow Jack sounds lovely. I had a huge, soft black cat named Carlos when I was a preschooler. He was the most loving guy. He taught my sister how to crawl. I don't know about ERs but I know that there's at least one urgent care here that you can go to for a test. You call from your car and I think they bring the test to you (not sure about that, just guessing from the sign saying you are to call before entering if you are there for a test). You may be able to get a free test from a pharamcy; I know I've done that but it was a while ago and I don't remember the details. If you call one they can tell you details. CVS here has a whole extension for COVID related issues. I hope you start feeling better soon. Feeling terrible for so long is awful.

Thank you, Rainbow

Carlos is the best name for a cat, I love it. And how sweet that he taught your sister to crawl.

*You float like a feather, in a beautiful world*

I bought a jar of magnesium & blue tansy cream & it arrived today. Most people are deficient in magnesium and it's best absorbed transdermally. It can help with sleep and a bunch of things. I'll massage it into the soles of my feet at bedtime. I drank some immune support stuff that tasted disgusting.

Unwell...silent, withdrawn but leg bouncing and I'm having symptoms. At least I see it right? 4 out of 10 today. I really feel like I'm slipping. I'm scared to ask for help. I kind of want to fade away quietly. Just be a good client and only have problems at scheduled times. I'm not sure I can bring myself to ask for help.

Ok, I'm going to try and work through this, because it is REALLY bugging me!

When I was hired for this job, I described myself as a facilitator. I get people from A to B. I get stuff done, make stuff happen. I very much backed away from being an arbiter, a judge, because in every job I have had, the laws were always changing. There were always exceptions to the rule, conveniently positioned in contrast to what I had just told people. It served to undermine me and my work!

Eventually, I just started bringing in superiors to make the final call and bear the verbal brunt of their decision. They resented being made to answer for their decisions (at least from the customers) and decided to undermine me personally. They accused me of theft more than once, of time theft and when neither one of those worked, they told me I smelled. Yep, rather than give me some solid footing, these people would rather tell me to use deodorant.

With what happened a few hours ago, I feel constricted again. My customer's ill advised outburst could serve to undermine me (Though not intentionally, I'll admit.) with superiors and those I liaise with. I've already had decisions made that undermined my credibility. I told them something couldn't be done. Policy. And then it was done.

Apparently, even with an independent job such as this, I'm still subject to the ever changing whims of others and sometimes worse, have to speak for their blatantly contrarian actions.

Can you blame me for being a little paranoid?

Getting better. Other than a little bit of the good ole green, I'm 5 days clean.

My sister and decided to chance the art festival. Supposedly the rain is done and it’s supposed to clear up. We both want to hear William Kent Krueger talk. Then walk around and see the art. It’s way too pricey for our pockets though. Get something to eat from the food trucks.

I spent the morning with N3. Then I went and got some groceries. Now I'm home, freshly showered and sitting in front of my vornado fan. Aaaashhhhh! Freshshsh!

I was in a good amount of pain this morning. Yeah it for sure feels like this dropping sensation. Its a super weird feeling to have. Today was the day my mom and my sister and her family and I were going out to lunch to celebrate my name change. I didn't want to go really just because I was tired and in pain and nervous about the news but I knew they took the time to make it this weekend so I wouldn't feel over looked. So I took my meds and then on the way there I took an advil or whatever it was my mom had in her purse. All that made me forget about my pain and anxiety and I got through lunch just fine with no paranoia and forgot all the nuclear stuff going on. It wasn't until I stood up from the table after sitting for almost 2 hours that the dropping feeling came back. I still don't have much anxiety. Just a bit of a headache and that pain but I don't have any nausea. So in general today was good. I have my doctors appointment at 8:45 tommorow
morning. My sister and my nephew were sick this week too. My sister said it was allergies.

Now I have full blown bad stomach pains from lunch. I'm tempted to go to the ER but I'm trying to hold off. I think my cesar dressing had too much egg. I didn't think I needed to stop eating cesar salad dressing. But man am I in some pain. I put myself on the BRAT diet until I get into see him but I can't even eat any of that stuff.

Basically my probable food allergies are causing all these other issues to happen but my overall anxiety and mental health were ok today besides the concerns about the nuclear attack.

@Mountaindewed:

I'm so excited to tell you that i dressed as a man today and went downtown and it was great fun!

I was able to get a very nice two hour nap in and my brain took full advantage of my sleep. I woke up to much less rumination over the phone issue. It's still an issue that needs to be addressed, but it's not dominating my thoughts. Thank goodness!

I met with my mother at Sunday services. She has a date for a cornea transplant. It's a couple of months out, but by Thanksgiving at the latest, she'll have vision again!

I also get to catch up with an old friend from the area tomorrow! We'll get to talk over some breakfast dinner food.

About it for today. Just kinda lazing about for the rest of it. I might buy out my grocery store's supply of Black Cherry Kool Aid, seeing as they're getting rid of it for seven cents a pouch!

Thanks Nammu for sending along my love to everyone

********


A miracle ! After a brutal week of not having a vehicle since my cars transmission dying and so much stress .. I legit was worried we were going to have a stroke or heart attack.. ( I have struggled so hard not to SH )my husband found a beater truck !

Wanna hear the most shocking part ?? Steve’s sons Chaise and Tyler loaned us the money to buy it since we haven’t gotten paid yet and we need to sell my car as a parts car.

We had lots of people sending us good thoughts and many prayers and it truly helped us.

I can’t catch up on everyone so I’m sending love and I’m now able to merge back into the lane here.. I think of this forum as a interstate LOL

Love to you all

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This is a repeat of a post that I deleted earlier. I woke up feeling great around 4 am then went through heavy suicidal ideation and worked through it enough to go float, clean 3 rooms now and complete a ton of paperwork. Next week is loaded with appointments and events with friends on purpose. I’ll crawl if necessary.

I talked for a long time with M yesterday. Huge boost physically and mentally. Planning on meeting next weekend half way. Our annual trip to the Smokies is getting closer. Yay!

I lost a lot of hair due to stress about mother and brother back when. I mean really noticeable along with other signs of stress. It’s taking awhile to come back. I’m having a blast working on picking out a cool wig until it does grow back. Lots of fun.

I hope everyone is having a peaceful Sunday.

@unlived:

That's great that you cured your diabetes and congratulations and bravo! But i also found it relatively easy to lose weight before menopause. Now it's just impossible. Improving my fitness is within my control but losing weight is not.

So happy for you! That’s wonderful news. I’ve missed you. I don’t know if you saw but I changed from Jennifer to Sunflower. It was time to start fresh. Glad you’re back.