Bipolar check-in #69

Well…

My uncle is not doing well. In addition to falling and the exposure to outside elements he may have hit his head. He still hasn’t regained consciousness. Mum is pretty worried. I told her we could drive over now that I’ve got a car, but she said she’s in no shape to go. Wish there was more I could do.

I've been sleeping pretty badly lately. Last night I was up at 11:30. I got about 45 minutes of sleep around 3. I then got up at 5:30 to do some weight lifting and ab workouts and then I went and made a protein drink out of this marshmallow flavored protein powder and sat down and watched CNN with my protein drink. I think I turned into one of those people I made fun of when I was an unhappy fat highschooler. Anyways today I've been at home all day still struggling to eat enough but managing my anxiety and moods fine. There was this rattle in my room but the metal chord chain that turned on my fan was wrapped around one of the lights. I got it undone and my room is much quiter. So maybe that will help me sleep better. Idk.

I am irrepairably broken

Oh muddyboots there you are. What’s wrong?

Edited...

I’m so sorry. Can you see the nice pdoc to get on a different AP?

I'm going to leave a message at the office on Monday. My next appointment isn't until October 4th and they really don't move up appointments.

Ooo that’s kinda far away. Oh, I see it’s the 17th already! When did that happen? Yeah probably can’t make it sooner than two weeks. But I’m glad you showed up here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots I am irrepairably broken

Thank you for checking in, Boots. I was seriously concerned. What's been going on?

Today

I wrote a response (to Nammu) earlier, but deleted it. I'm not super comfortable sharing right now.

Congratulations!!! Enjoy your new wheels !

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Oh that’s terrible about your Uncle ! I hope he can recover

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Muddy so glad you see you I’ve been worried. I hope things get easier for you somehow

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I’m not doing terrible but I’m not do so great either.

I slept pretty good last night finally so I’m very thankful.

Oh this whole trying to find a job is maddening. Literally everyplace is “ online applying” I just “ look” terrible online. If anyone looks at it they could easily think I was in jail or prison due to my employment gap. Not just on disability Ugh ! I filled out an application for CVS drug store. 45 mins ! Like what in the hell I need to suck it up and keep applying. I’d like to just have the opportunity to interview.

Steve hasn’t been feeling well at all. He’s got zero energy but also we are dealing with financial stress. He’s also been having a lot more neuropathy pain despite Lyrica on board. If he’s still dragging Monday I think he needs to see a Doctor which is a whole other stress since our Doctor retired out of the blue. All our records are available at a walk in clinic that offers primary care but I don’t know about it. I’m due for lab work. It’s just another hassle !

I hope everyone is having a enjoyable weekend

This picture came up as a memory on Facebook!


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Awww Gus was such a cutie 🥰

Well the story has changed but my uncle is still in critical condition and non responsive but he wasn’t outside for 2 days. My cousin tracked down the ambulance attendant and talked directly to him. A lady who brings my uncle food found him on his kitchen floor and called an ambulance. That actually makes more sense in that there’s so many things to hit your head on in a kitchen. He could have been there 2 days but at least he wasn’t out in the elements. Somehow even though it’s still bad it’s not as terrible.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour @*Beth*, I couldn't help but look for and find this because whenever you post about your skating I think about Blondie. Can't help but wonder what the doggie lying on the floor was thinking. Love her pants!

Ohhh, darn it! I get a message that says "This video is blocked in your country." I'm going to check google, though. Maybe the video will be posted elsewhere.

Thank you though, Soupe!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina I’m not doing terrible but I’m not do so great either. I slept pretty good last night finally so I’m very thankful. Oh this whole trying to find a job is maddening. Literally everyplace is “ online applying” I just “ look” terrible online. If anyone looks at it they could easily think I was in jail or prison due to my employment gap. Not just on disability Ugh ! I filled out an application for CVS drug store. 45 mins ! Like what in the hell I need to suck it up and keep applying. I’d like to just have the opportunity to interview. Steve hasn’t been feeling well at all. He’s got zero energy but also we are dealing with financial stress. He’s also been having a lot more neuropathy pain despite Lyrica on board. If he’s still dragging Monday I think he needs to see a Doctor which is a whole other stress since our Doctor retired out of the blue. All our records are available at a walk in clinic that offers primary care but I don’t know about it. I’m due for lab work. It’s just another hassle ! I hope everyone is having a enjoyable weekend This picture came up as a memory on Facebook! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Gus is precious in every single pic.

I'm so sorry, Christina. It's all too much. I hate the online applying crap. I think it's weird and just all wrong.

Financial stress...I know that song. Makes everything so, so, so hard.

I'm sending you love, and prayers for Steve.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Awww Gus was such a cutie 🥰 Well the story has changed but my uncle is still in critical condition and non responsive but he wasn’t outside for 2 days. My cousin tracked down the ambulance attendant and talked directly to him. A lady who brings my uncle food found him on his kitchen floor and called an ambulance. That actually makes more sense in that there’s so many things to hit your head on in a kitchen. He could have been there 2 days but at least he wasn’t out in the elements. Somehow even though it’s still bad it’s not as terrible.

Falls can be so dangerous. You're in my loving thoughts, Nammu.

I'm pretty much a mess. I should have been more insistent when I called on Wednesday for an earlier appointment with med dude. I haven't experienced any more nausea, what a blessing, but my stomach is still a wreck. I cut the Luvox down to a sliver last night and it was all good until this morning, when I was having disturbing dreams and crazy thoughts. I knew that was from withdrawing from the Luvox (SSRI) too rapidly. I had a bottle of Zoloft, and since I haven't had very bad side effects from Zoloft I took a small amount of it, hoping to ameliorate the withdrawal from Luvox. I was able to eat a little bit this morning, thought if I could eat a little more I'd get some energy. So I made the mistake of eating mac and cheese. Not smart.

I'm drained, I'm heading into depression, I don't know what to do now, and I need advice from my med dude. I'll call Monday morning and tell them I'm extremely sick and need to talk with him. It's so frustrating when everything online says, "If you are experiencing these symptoms speak with your psychiatrist immediately." Ha. Yeah, right.

@Beth You seem to be doing everything that med dude could do. feel better soon. Y

My sister and I checked out a potential car today. Lots of phone calls and quotes to get to see if I can even afford it before even thinking about committing. It’s $20,000 for a 2018 Honda CR-V with only 35k miles on it.

I’m stressed y’all. Please send good vibes I can afford it bc it’s super nice to be used and I just worry. Also they let me drive it all til Monday. That way I can get a good feel if I like it.

Dear beth, I am sorry that you are not doing well.(((((HUGS)))))
The mac-n-cheese sounds harmless and a comfort food....
I hope the zoloft helps.
bizi

Sorry about that, Beth. Yea, that happens. I'll guess the rollerskater in that video is from Europe or elsewhere other than north America. I struggle sometimes opening American websites, nowadays. Some are either fully blocked or I need to "select all of the lion pictures", if you know what I mean. Too bad these security measures are needed in a world full of too many criminally minded.

Bit of a rant, but I'd like your thoughts.

Work was good yesterday as far as sales go, but there was some "fun" that happened. I'm technically prohibited to do anything like open cases or sell phones at the register. I'll still open cases if they get swamped, but my company wants me to have as little to do with Wally World operations as I can (They don't even want me near the work counter!). So, I have to rely on my colleagues from Walmart and the other third party reps to get my products sold. I can talk up the phones, but they have to sell them. Perfect sense, right?

I have no authority (or desire) to order anyone around, so I play "traffic control," directing customers where they need to go and being the polite informer to the Walmart worker (even in electronics and phones, always the singular worker) about where customers are. This is all done in the service of getting their customers moving so I can get my customers moving and get phones sold to them, since I can't sell them myself. Literally everyone else can but me.

I apparently struck a nerve with one of the Walmart workers with this dynamic, who, instead of talking to me direct, used a go between to tell me "I've got it." and "I don't need traffic control." She didn't have it and she did need traffic control because I watched things go to hell in a handbasket in less than an hour. Again, I have a vested interest in things moving efficiently and if I have to treat a colleague who has relative power (power of the keys, power of the register) with kid gloves, they're actively hindering my ability to do my job.

Am I being unreasonable? I really want to know.