Bipolar check-in #69

Soupe du jour · Sep 18, 2022, 06:16 AM

I got a good nights sleep, and for much of the morning I felt at peace. Then out of almost nowhere a rush of anxiety overtook me. In some ways it seemed unprovoked, but there are reasons. I try to be tough, and usually am, but we all have our limits. Right?

We are so hoping that tomorrow we'll finally get a date soon for signing the final contract on the house. Otherwise, an third extension would be necessary.

The weather has been so lousy that it doesn't help matters. I'm glad it's cool, but it's been very rainy with miserably gray skies. My husband calls it by a made up word "Pošmoristan". The first part of the word means "grayness" and the stan is the same as in Pakistan or Kazakstan, meaning "where one stands".

Moose72 · Sep 18, 2022, 07:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

I'm pretty much a mess. I should have been more insistent when I called on Wednesday for an earlier appointment with med dude. I haven't experienced any more nausea, what a blessing, but my stomach is still a wreck. I cut the Luvox down to a sliver last night and it was all good until this morning, when I was having disturbing dreams and crazy thoughts. I knew that was from withdrawing from the Luvox (SSRI) too rapidly. I had a bottle of Zoloft, and since I haven't had very bad side effects from Zoloft I took a small amount of it, hoping to ameliorate the withdrawal from Luvox. I was able to eat a little bit this morning, thought if I could eat a little more I'd get some energy. So I made the mistake of eating mac and cheese. Not smart.

I'm drained, I'm heading into depression, I don't know what to do now, and I need advice from my med dude. I'll call Monday morning and tell them I'm extremely sick and need to talk with him. It's so frustrating when everything online says, "If you are experiencing these symptoms speak with your psychiatrist immediately." Ha. Yeah, right.

Is it something life threatening? Can you go to a psych emergency services? Or the ER in general?

MuddyBoots · Sep 18, 2022, 07:36 AM

I don't feel very safe posting here anymore. I don't know if it's paranoia, guilt, or just getting some sense, but all of a sudden I feel like I shouldn't be open here (or anywhere other than my journal for that matter).

unlived · Sep 18, 2022, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

I'm pretty much a mess. I should have been more insistent when I called on Wednesday for an earlier appointment with med dude. I haven't experienced any more nausea, what a blessing, but my stomach is still a wreck. I cut the Luvox down to a sliver last night and it was all good until this morning, when I was having disturbing dreams and crazy thoughts. I knew that was from withdrawing from the Luvox (SSRI) too rapidly. I had a bottle of Zoloft, and since I haven't had very bad side effects from Zoloft I took a small amount of it, hoping to ameliorate the withdrawal from Luvox. I was able to eat a little bit this morning, thought if I could eat a little more I'd get some energy. So I made the mistake of eating mac and cheese. Not smart.

I'm drained, I'm heading into depression, I don't know what to do now, and I need advice from my med dude. I'll call Monday morning and tell them I'm extremely sick and need to talk with him. It's so frustrating when everything online says, "If you are experiencing these symptoms speak with your psychiatrist immediately." Ha. Yeah, right.

Have you tried the Prozac trick for withdrawals? Because it has such a long half life it’s sometimes good to use to come off other antidepressants. I’ve done it when coming off pristiq and Effexor. Maybe a stupid thing to ask though coz I’m guessing most people don’t just have random bottles of Prozac laying around.

Moose72 · Sep 18, 2022, 09:32 AM

had another pregnancy Dream last night but this one was about giving birth. It didn't really resemble my experiences with childbirth- what I delivered was more like a placenta than a baby or maybe a baby of another species!? I just remember there being blood and mucus. And I took a pregnancy test pretty much right after to see if it would still turn positive. I don't remember the result but I do remember looking at the test.

Mountaindewed · 11:50 AM

I feel pretty good today. I slept good for the first time in about a week. My anxiety and my moods are under control. I haven't heard any news from my sister so I guess we're still on for the 27th at this point although I know things can change at any time. Her next ultrasound is Tuesday. I told my therapist things were kinda up in the air and I might have to switch to virtual on Wednesday and she was cool with it. It would give me a week without her getting on my case about my weight so much since she wouldn't be able to fully see me. I didn't lift today. Today was a rest day. I am pretty sure my loss of appetite is med related though. It seems to happen after I take my Prestiq or my gastro med. The Prestiq is still working great for my mental health and staying away from eggs and nuts keeps my stomach pain under control.

I have a really painful ingrown toenail but just the side of it is swollen and red. I don't want to go to the doctor for it but I know ingrown toenails can travel up and cause bone infections. I've had it since August but it just recently started to really hurt. I hate the doctor and I don't want them to have to do anything to fix it. I've heard weird stories of how they treat ingrown toenails and it sounds super painful.

HALLIEBETH87 · Sep 18, 2022, 01:26 PM

You best address that ingrown mail fixed. It can get infected and trust me that hurts way worse. I have dealt with this.

*Beth* · Sep 18, 2022, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

Sorry about that, Beth. Yea, that happens. I'll guess the rollerskater in that video is from Europe or elsewhere other than north America. I struggle sometimes opening American websites, nowadays. Some are either fully blocked or I need to "select all of the lion pictures", if you know what I mean. Too bad these security measures are needed in a world full of too many criminally minded.

Oh I know, it's so annoying. I searched online for the video, but no luck.

*Beth* · Sep 18, 2022, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurelius710

Bit of a rant, but I'd like your thoughts.

Work was good yesterday as far as sales go, but there was some "fun" that happened. I'm technically prohibited to do anything like open cases or sell phones at the register. I'll still open cases if they get swamped, but my company wants me to have as little to do with Wally World operations as I can (They don't even want me near the work counter!). So, I have to rely on my colleagues from Walmart and the other third party reps to get my products sold. I can talk up the phones, but they have to sell them. Perfect sense, right?

I have no authority (or desire) to order anyone around, so I play "traffic control," directing customers where they need to go and being the polite informer to the Walmart worker (even in electronics and phones, always the singular worker) about where customers are. This is all done in the service of getting their customers moving so I can get my customers moving and get phones sold to them, since I can't sell them myself. Literally everyone else can but me.

I apparently struck a nerve with one of the Walmart workers with this dynamic, who, instead of talking to me direct, used a go between to tell me "I've got it." and "I don't need traffic control." She didn't have it and she did need traffic control because I watched things go to hell in a handbasket in less than an hour. Again, I have a vested interest in things moving efficiently and if I have to treat a colleague who has relative power (power of the keys, power of the register) with kid gloves, they're actively hindering my ability to do my job.

Am I being unreasonable? I really want to know.

I don't have experience with your kind of job, but I do know how frustrating it can be when a co-worker is impairing your ability to get your job done. I do not think you're being unreasonable.

*Beth* · Sep 18, 2022, 04:12 PM

You do have a history of paranoia @MuddyBoots. That's the fact. As for posting on this forum, we're here to support you and to be your friends. That's also a fact.

Mountaindewed · Sep 18, 2022, 04:16 PM

I said this in another thread, but we never seem to have real falls anymore. So are indian summers still a thing or is global warming so bad that its just plain hot until November?

*Beth* · Sep 18, 2022, 04:26 PM

Thank you @Nammu. You are probably quite correct. I guess I just feel like I need some kind of professional input. Which probably wouldn't amount to much, anyway. *sigh*

You know, @moose, there's no psych emergency (which is ridiculous and even dangerous), the regular ER will likely be a long wait with no especially helpful answers. BUT you've given me an idea. I think I do have a psych advice nurse I can call. And I am going to do just that. Thank you for reminding me of that option.

@unlived your idea about the Prozac is not stupid, at all. I think it's a very smart idea. I have a cabinet filled with bottles of unused medications and very unfortunately, Prozac is not one of them. But it's sure something to keep in mind.

Nammu · Sep 18, 2022, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

You do have a history of paranoia @MuddyBoots. That's the fact. As for posting on this forum, we're here to support you and to be your friends. That's also a fact.

@Muddyboots ; this is true, no judgment from here.

*Beth* · Sep 18, 2022, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I said this in another thread, but we never seem to have real falls anymore. So are indian summers still a thing or is global warming so bad that its just plain hot until November?

I feel quite sure that it is global warming. It's really hard to cope with all these odd climate changes.

buddha1too · Sep 18, 2022, 08:28 PM

No worries, @MuddyBoots. I've taken breaks from the boards before. Just make sure your decisions are in your best interests. That's sometimes questionable for me. Go get 'em.

Victoria'smom · Sep 18, 2022, 09:05 PM

So we moved a bunch of stuff today we still have tons to do and only 10 days left. I don't know how we're going to manage this. Tomorrow we have to call the new state because our paperwork is not done yet. So hopefully everything can be cleared up this week. I'm getting really nervous.

*Beth* · Sep 18, 2022, 09:25 PM

So I called the advice nurse (there isn't an advice nurse specifically for psych meds, so unfortunate). She was really nice, but not very informed. She said that the GI issues could be from the Luvox...then the rapid withdrawal from the Luvox. But she thinks the issues have gone on for a long time so I should speak with my doctor within 24 hours. She doesn't think using Zoloft is a good idea because of the risk of serotonin syndrome.

I don't think I will use Zoloft because it just confuses things. But as for the risk of ser. syn. ...every time I've ever been transferred from one SSRI or SSNI to a different one the doctor tells me to stop the former AD and go straight to the new AD without missing a day. Apparently, they don't expect ser. syn. to result.

While my reaction to Luvox has been extreme, the severe symptoms I was having have definitely lessened since decreasing, then stopping the Luvox. Not gone yet, but not as severe. In addition, I know that AD withdrawal can cause prolonged symptoms for some people. 1 week, 2 weeks, or even longer is possible. I hope & pray this will all subside by the middle of this week. I'm seriously beat and sooo tired.

Anyway, that was the outcome with the advice nurse. I think that all I can do is be patient and try, try to sleep as much as I can. I also hope I won't get depressed. What a blessing that would be! I'd like to stop with the SSRI/SSNI meds. They used to work well for me, but have been very mediocre in the past several years.

I washed my car on Thursday and it worked - we have has a mostly rainy day!! Some real rain, not just showers as were predicted. A temperature of about 70. I looked out the window and saw some leaves of a tree turning color, just a bit. I have no doubt that we will be back into the 80's after a while, but I have my fingers crossed for the 90's to be over. Having the windows open is so nice and my car is sparkling, haha.

For the UK the Queen's funeral begins in a couple of hours. I'm recording it. Seeing dignitaries from all over the world who've come to attend her funeral is fascinating. It's no wonder the Queen enjoyed T.V. as much as she did.

Noah posted Instagram pictures of Georgia (he and Kim are there - the country, not the state). They were staying in one place that charges people to use the elevator I remember when you had to put a dime in a box to get access to a bathroom stall in San Francisco, in Ghirardelli Square. Oh, how I wish I had a hot mug of their chocolate right now.

bizi · Sep 18, 2022, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I feel pretty good today. I slept good for the first time in about a week. My anxiety and my moods are under control. I haven't heard any news from my sister so I guess we're still on for the 27th at this point although I know things can change at any time. Her next ultrasound is Tuesday. I told my therapist things were kinda up in the air and I might have to switch to virtual on Wednesday and she was cool with it. It would give me a week without her getting on my case about my weight so much since she wouldn't be able to fully see me. I didn't lift today. Today was a rest day. I am pretty sure my loss of appetite is med related though. It seems to happen after I take my Prestiq or my gastro med. The Prestiq is still working great for my mental health and staying away from eggs and nuts keeps my stomach pain under control.

I have a really painful ingrown toenail but just the side of it is swollen and red. I don't want to go to the doctor for it but I know ingrown toenails can travel up and cause bone infections. I've had it since August but it just recently started to really hurt. I hate the doctor and I don't want them to have to do anything to fix it. I've heard weird stories of how they treat ingrown toenails and it sounds super painful.

go to see a podiatrist(foot doctor)They will numb your toe prior to the cut down that side. If you have a history of them ask for them to permanently kill the edge of the nail so that it won't grow back on the side.It would be a partial nail removal.You would never have another ingrown toe nail again.
keep us posted.
bizi (the foot nurse)

bizi · Sep 18, 2022, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurelius710

Bit of a rant, but I'd like your thoughts.

Work was good yesterday as far as sales go, but there was some "fun" that happened. I'm technically prohibited to do anything like open cases or sell phones at the register. I'll still open cases if they get swamped, but my company wants me to have as little to do with Wally World operations as I can (They don't even want me near the work counter!). So, I have to rely on my colleagues from Walmart and the other third party reps to get my products sold. I can talk up the phones, but they have to sell them. Perfect sense, right?

I have no authority (or desire) to order anyone around, so I play "traffic control," directing customers where they need to go and being the polite informer to the Walmart worker (even in electronics and phones, always the singular worker) about where customers are. This is all done in the service of getting their customers moving so I can get my customers moving and get phones sold to them, since I can't sell them myself. Literally everyone else can but me.

I apparently struck a nerve with one of the Walmart workers with this dynamic, who, instead of talking to me direct, used a go between to tell me "I've got it." and "I don't need traffic control." She didn't have it and she did need traffic control because I watched things go to hell in a handbasket in less than an hour. Again, I have a vested interest in things moving efficiently and if I have to treat a colleague who has relative power (power of the keys, power of the register) with kid gloves, they're actively hindering my ability to do my job.

Am I being unreasonable? I really want to know.

Will they fire you over this?
How long have you been with the phone company?
you have every right to vent here.
Crowd control is needed so I think you continue doing

what you think is necessary. Do you work for walmart?
bizi

Nammu · Sep 18, 2022, 09:39 PM

Didn’t take any ambien last night as today is an off day, I can goof off all day. I don’t want to get physically used to the ambien again, so not using it every day. Of course that means no sleep. Last night was terrible. Slept sometime after 7:30 am for a couple hours. A pretty depressing dream haunted me. The Russians invaded and there were long long lines of displaced Americans walking to Mexico carrying whatever they could. I had TP, powered laundry soap and some snacks. I was trying to find my daughter’s family. Pretty vivid.

@Beth sounds like the nurse was semi helpful.

Aurelius710 · 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

Will they fire you over this?
How long have you been with the phone company?
you have every right to vent here.
Crowd control is needed so I think you continue doing

what you think is necessary. Do you work for walmart?
bizi

@bizi
I work in a Walmart, but I don't work for them directly. It's a bit convoluted, but I work for a contractor hired by the prepaid phone companies to sell their stuff in Walmart stores. The trouble is that I'm the only one there from my particular company and I'm restricted by corporate BS contracts in what I can do. Not being able to use a register to complete a sale or even take a set of keys to unlock product for sale hobbles me as much as anything (or anyone) else. I can ignore the restrictions to a certain extent, but if I make it a habit, my bosses will come down on me.

As far as this worker is concerned, I don't have reason to believe my bosses will fire me (because I was able to succeed in spite of her), but she could continue to make things awkward and even tense. The worker is significantly younger than me, to the tune of about ten years. Her go-between is the other third party rep who is not much older than her and has been flirting with her nonstop. I wouldn't mention that if the whole situation didn't read like she got annoyed that I was a polite, yet insistent voice in her ear, batted her eyes at the rep who has a crush on her, told him I was being "mean" to her and got him to play "protector."

Walmart, in my experience working for them, has been party to lots of high school (and middle school) level drama, and this seems to continue the tradition. I would normally work around them, but with my company's restrictions, I can't. Not completely, at least. They could very realistically be the only way for me to get my job done.

*Beth* · Sep 19, 2022, 12:28 AM

That is an unpleasant dream @Nammu. I'm sorry you had it; those types of dreams just seem pointless and like cobwebs.

@Aurelius I understand your work situation better now. How very difficult! Really, your hands are tied by greedy, frightened, corporate monster Walmart.

Soupe du jour · Sep 19, 2022, 02:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

So we moved a bunch of stuff today we still have tons to do and only 10 days left. I don't know how we're going to manage this. Tomorrow we have to call the new state because our paperwork is not done yet. So hopefully everything can be cleared up this week. I'm getting really nervous.

You will manage, Miguel'smom. We almost always do, but it also means a lot of stress. Once it's done, do try to reward yourself in some positive way.

Soupe du jour · 03:14 AM

@*Beth*, I hope your med issues are resolved soon, and congrats on the needed rain. We say similar when we manually water our outdoor plants. It always rains soon after, but if we don't, it doesn't rain.

We don't need to pay for elevators in Czechia, but it's still very common to have to pay to use public toilets here. The exceptions are in nicer restaurants and most pubs. Otherwise, you see a toilet "attendant" taking money, or in more modern set ups, a place to put a coin so that the bar releases to let you through. I think it's more common in Czechia than Germany and Austria, but I've seen similar there. In Germany, you sometimes accumulate coupons for future public toilet use, especially at highway rest areas. I keep them in our glove compartment. Toilet paper is in the stalls. It didn't used to be, in the past. Back then the "attendant" gave you a little or you brought your own. Another thing we sort of pay for is shopping cart usage. You need to insert a coin into the cart handle to release a chain that holds the carts together. That encourages people to return the carts to the corrals, since re-chaining releases the coin, thus making it free in the end.

I heard there is encouragement for Georgia to possibly declare war on Russia. Did you hear/read that? See Georgia proposes to hold a referendum and ask if Georgians want war with Russia | odessa-journal.com

MuddyBoots · Sep 19, 2022, 04:11 AM

I guess y'all really have been more helpful than not in the past. Probably is just paranoia (I just quit both my antipsychotics cold turkey and am in a cycle of using-crashing-withdrawing-repeat).

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Bipolar check-in #69

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