Bipolar check-in #69

So, my competition is getting seedier and more underhanded by the day. Made my sales, but that was not for lack of trying on their part. Their marching orders are apparently to take my customers by any means necessary. Now I get that they're the competition and we've got different goals, but my bosses want me to play a reciprocal, almost "gentlemanly" game (You scratch my back. I scratch yours. I'll route appropriate customers your way, if you send them my way.) that they don't seem interested in playing.

I mean, forget me for a moment. One rep admitted to lies by omission when selling his product to customers after hounding these people to listen to him. He was proud of that. Talked with my boss about it. I have no intention of being a doormat, but my boss also gave me leave to cut them out of the "gentlemanly" game. Leave them high and dry if they keep it up.

On a fun note, I got to go see a movie finally! Amsterdam (With quite the ensemble cast!) was a fictionalized account of the very real Business Plot, which involved American industrialists and newspapermen with ties to Fascist Germany and Fascist Italy trying to engineer a coup against FDR using a popular Marine Corps General and disaffected WWI vets as a catalyst. It very nearly succeeded. On second thought, maybe not so fun a note.

I've been delaying it, but I think I'll pick up my tramadol scrip. If it will work...

Ooo yeah, very important to keep good friends close. Then you have the weekend to relax and enjoy each other. But nice to have time apart too.

Glad you're doing well Nammu, I need to go to the library at some point to return some books

I hope your appointment goes well!

I went and got my 4th Covid booster shot and my flu shot today, also stopped in at a local independent bookstore and bought a couple things (pictured below, a drawing guide book, a novel, and a Van Gogh metal bookmark). They have so many awesome things in that bookstore. It's a nice cold autumn day, and I am about to have a coffee with some pumpkin spice creamer Hope everyone has a peaceful weekend

Waiting for food and M is chatting with her fiancée. The TWA Hotel sounds truly incredible! I try to get up to NYC once a year to hit a Broadway show, The Metropolitan and Junior’s for carrot cake cheesecake. I usually stay in midtown Manhattan. I know for sure where I’ll be staying next time (probably February). Thanks for the tip!

Oh, those are nice. I too have a tough time in bookstores. There’s always so much I want.

Ugh. Still have nausea. It doesn’t matter if and what I eat either.

And no I am not pregnant

Well technically it’s a depression clinic for hard to treat depression. If I just had bipolar II or even bp I without psychotic features I wouldn’t worry but the episode over the summer really scared me and I need to have a doctor experienced enough to treat that. The eval dr was really nice and seemed capable so I’ll get to meet my actual APN on Tuesday and see what she says and decide if I can trust her.

I hope you do get to see or stay at the TWA Hotel. I'll say that it's not that quick or inexpensive to get to midtown from JFK. We stayed there just for one night since our flight left JFK fairly early in the morning. If you have a morning or early afternoon flight, the TWA Hotel might be nice for that last night stay. If the weather is warm, bring your swimsuit for sure. The pool is very nice with outstanding views of the planes taking off. Truly amazing!

If I were you, I'd stay closer to where you want to tour in the city for the main part of such a trip. Just don't don't do what my husband and I did last year and stay in Newark, NJ. It was miserable there. A tragic slum around there and a long uncomfortable subway trip.

Aurelius, my husband and I were talking about wanting to see Amsterdam, just the other day. Now I'm super eager to go. Hopefully you'll find a way to outsmart your competition at work. Sadly, sales does require some strategizing and trickery sometimes. But you are clearly not a viscous type. Those types may get ahead to a degree, but there will always be a group of customers that sniff that out and avoid it.

Also excited about the upcoming Netflix movie where Bradley Cooper plays Leonard Bernstein. Called Maestro.

This morning my anxiety was super rough. I guess it was just because of my therapists news. I got up at 1:40 and stayed up. I just had one small Pepsi. I didn't change out of yesterdays clothes. I got up at 5:30 to watch TV. I drank a grande chai iced tea latte and finally I was so exhausted and anxious I took my mid morning prestiq and valium and my noon geodon and slept from 9 or so until noon.

My blood work came back and my hematrcrit is a few points higher then last time. It keeps going up each month. But its just a couple points under to be considered high. But I have all the symptoms so I guess I'll just continue to feel crappy until my next blood test sets it over the edge. I have a couple other low blood levels but she is saying they arent a big deal. I see my endocronolgist in a couple weeks and then my kidney doctor that week too.

Basically I'm just confused if its anxiety or medical. I know my 3 hour nap and limiting my caffeine today made me feel a lot better. Plus I've been getting out of the house without a lot of anxiety. My anxiety seems to be more situational. Like my therpaists situation and returning to work. I don't seem to have just general anxiety for no reason. But I do need to lay off the caffeine.

I started a new thread as we've hit 50 pages. Link is below:

Bipolar check-in #70