Bipolar check-in #69

@Beth ; your decorations sound wonderful. The wreath especially. Enjoy 😊

Omg I fell back asleep. Missed my dr appt and now I’m so mad at myself! I called to see if I can at least do labsZ still waiting to hear

@*Beth* your decorations sound awesome! I don’t usually put too many Halloween decorations inside but RS does up the outside something fierce! We were going to do it last weekend but oh, the rain. It was just terrible. So this weekend will be the weekend.

We might actually get to see trick or treat-ers this year because my son said he might not go (oh, be still my heart!). He thinks he’s too old for costumes and he never really liked costumes anyway. I still remember when he was in preschool and I bought him a SpongeBob costume, and two days before the parade he refused to wear it! I wanted him to put it on to try it out but he cried so much I put it away. I rushed out and bought an orange tee shirt and some paint from the craft store and very clumsily painted a jack o lantern my clinician says I have “loose boundaries” with him and I guess this is where it started!

Your decorations sound awesome Beth!

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I got a couple cheap decorations at family dollar the other day. I do realize the N at the end of Halloween is broke at the tip of the letter. That’s okay though.

Oh, those are nice blue bird 🐦

I was anxious this morning from the caffeine I had. My anxiety has just been rough in general since yesterday afternoon. Also I'm heading into my SAD. My mom and I took a small road trip. I got a Calvin Klein winter coat and a North Face jacket thing at Platos Closet. I got a couple looks from people today but they were not weird looks, they were almost like concerned looks or something. They didn't make me want to bolt out the door or anything though the way I normally want to when people look at me. They didn't make me feel uneasy. Anyways we picked up Mcdonalds for lunch and now I'm trying to figure out how I feel about my therapy situation. Right now I'm just kinda numb about it. I sent her a couple rant emails but I haven't gotten a reply. I have to see the dentist. I think I have a cavity. Also twice when I've leaned over my bed it feels like I'm getting a bloody nose but just a bunch of yellow stuff comes out instead. Yeah, with this fatigue and weight and food and mood issues I have to get that blood work done. I'll probably go tommorow morning.

Soupe Sending you good thoughts and love.

Beth ~that wreath sounds spooky and lovely

Blue ~those are really cute decorations! I love the dollar store stuff !

Wild ~have you checked on going back on Invega with your insurance company ? If I remember right the shot worked well for you? I hope whatever you land on gives you long term stability.

Sunflower ~ Your plans sound Amazing !! Enjoy every minute. So glad ADT is up and running! Hopefully that will stop all the madness that’s been going on.

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Yes christina I’ve thought about invega, you’re right I stayed out of the hospital for two and a half years on that one. Problem is it raised my prolactin so I gained a lot of weight. But if I go to an endocrinologist I can get that taken care of as well. Sucks to take another med to counteract one but I’m at the point in my life where I have to take what I can get.

I am doing more Halloween & Dia de los Muertos decorating. I found the most gorgeous fan for Dia at the Dollar Tree, of all places (which is actually the $1.25 store). The fan is classic Dia with colorful skulls on a silky fan, black lace, a rose on the handle with colorful ribbons hanging down. The fan is going on my door, too. Also picked up a black-light bulb to put in my outside light. They didn't have any plastic marigolds, though! I was so pissed. I mean, this town is more Mexican than Anglo. Where are the marigolds?!

I walked mum though the remote control to pick out a tv show for the night. she picked a western we’ve already seen. So now there’s a loud musical on for the next 2.5 hours. Yi yi yi. I’m glad I went to the library today, I just finished, When the Minihaha flowed with Whiskey. I’ll take my hearing aids out and enjoy a mystery.

I’m doing quite alright. Sleeping is muddling along more or less 5-7 hours a night.

I thought I was a goat????
bizi

I made an earlier appt with the new pdoc. She’ll see me Tuesday. I’m still a little doubtful about her ability to handle my case but we shall see. If I was able to see my old pdoc I definitely would have paid out of pocket but I don’t want to if I can help it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi I thought I was a goat???? bizi

Nope. February 5, 1962, to January 24, 1963 is the Water Tiger. This (2022) is our year.

btw, thank you for your compliment about my daughter. She has such a talent for style. It used to be such fun to shop with her when she lived here. I know she has to love shopping in NYC! The funny thing about that pic (the one on my profile) is that her hair is extremely thick and very dark brown. She's been bleaching it to blonde for many years. Well, there was one time when she left the bleach on too long and her ends broke off, which you can see in the photograph

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 I made an earlier appt with the new pdoc. She’ll see me Tuesday. I’m still a little doubtful about her ability to handle my case but we shall see. If I was able to see my old pdoc I definitely would have paid out of pocket but I don’t want to if I can help it.

I have lost most of my trust for med dude because he is so inexperienced with psych meds. I'm pretty sure I was literally one of his first few psychiatric patients. He was new to practicing when I had my first appointment with him.

What is your doubt about?

I hope your appointment goes smoothly and that it meets your needs.

I’m glad you’re doing alright. Nice being able to take your hearing aids out under those conditions.

I love your decorations Blue_Bird! Thanks for sharing.

We had a great time in the city we visited yesterday. We decided to stay the night in a hotel alongside one of the airport’s runways (the busiest in the nation). I can’t explain why but there is something about watching the larger planes and jumbo jets glide through the sky and land and take off that both fascinates and soothes me deeply. I usually watch for long periods of time. I don’t share that with many people. Really just M and now S. Toss the bar, limousines, fancy restaurant and dance floor. I’ll choose the planes each time. Yep - I’m risqué.

We’ll be traveling home in the next hour and a half or so where I will drop S off and travel on down the road to meet up with M. I’ll be home early to late evening. It will be good to see her. I’ve missed her. The last time she came to visit, I was sick with pneumonia and really wanted to be in bed and asleep. I don’t count that as a true visit. I was afraid I might infect her so I didn’t hug her (and I’m a big hugger if you couldn’t tell). I merely shook her hand from arm’s length and stroked her hair. Ha! She has no idea how many hugs, arms around the shoulder and hand holding is coming her way. Fortunately, both S and M are tactile people as well.

This is just what the doctor ordered. Quality time with the two most important people in my world away from everything and everyone else.

It’s been a long time since I put down my load of responsibilities and had genuine fun where you lose track of time without my being hyper vigilant about what needed my attention next. I’ll have more of that please. Ideas are being batted about. I have kept mom lovingly cared for in my absence btw. I would and could do nothing less.

I’m checking in to say things are really good and to check up on everybody’s news. I am happy and relaxed. I can see that I have several private messages that I have yet to read. I will soon. I’m going to spend the next hour and a half watching the jumbo jets come in from overseas along with my morning coffee and some fresh fruit.

I hope everybody has a peaceful Saturday. Much love

My husband's still away, but will return tonight. I'll be relieved. Last night I forgot my evening meds until late. I didn't get to sleep until 3 am and had an extra anxious feeling.

I've had intermittent GI issues for a while. From September 20 to 27 it was very severe and I never went to the GP. Then it eased, so again no follow-up on it. Some days (or parts of a day) I have it again. I'm assuming it's related to stress, but perhaps it could be something else or something else, too. I feel and think I look like I've lost weight. There is a scale here at our rental, but the batteries are dead. My scale is in a box 40 mins away. Maybe when we stay at my s-i-l's house I can use hers. Or find batteries. I feel I've eaten enough not to lose weight. Who knows. I often have a cognitive distortion with this.

I think I look awful. My hair has the graying roots and is scraggly and frizzy, put up in a pony tail and unwashed for ages. My husband said the shower downstairs doesn't drain right. Washing my hair there would cause a plumbing emergency. Upstairs is an awkward bathtub with no curtain or glass enclosure and only the typical European hand held shower head, which is especially awkward. When I had a WhatsApp with my family, my brother made a teasing remark about my hair. He didn't mean any harm, but I am self conscious about it. Afterwards I asked Hubby "Does my hair look THAT bad?" He responded that it doesn't, but I think he's being kind or sees me through rose-colored glasses. This should be a motivator for action, but it's not.

We started looking for a GP and psychiatrist for me. Ain't easy! I'm on the waiting list at one place (pdoc) and we'll call a couple others on Monday. I may need to travel all the way to the city, but even there they are scarce. Obviously the GP would be good to get. As well as a dentist, a gynecologist, and a nephrologist. Ugh! Right now I feel like crying, but I'm in my usual "tight fist" state, which I know is unhealthy. I have kept the house neat and tidy. That's one good thing.

@wildflowerchild25, all the best with your appointment. I hope you end up pleasantly surprised by the doctor, for a change.

@Nammu, it's good to have some form of escape.

@Sunflower123, I'm so glad you had a nice time. As for planes and airports, I know two people who are passionate about them...to a very extreme degree. My husband's good friend (that's he visiting today) and my s-i-l's boyfriend. The latter's house has airplane photos and artwork in every single room of his house, creates airplane calendars from his photography, and goes to every air show there is. He dragged s-i-l to one last month. A couple week's back we were in a Bauhaus (like Home Depot) and jokingly photographed a cheesy piece of artwork featuring a plane in relief. We sent it to s-i-l who showed it to the boyfriend as a joke. He begged us to buy it for him. Oh my! S-i-l said she would never move in with him. No room for her amongst the planes. By the way, have you ever heard of the TWA Hotel within JFK Airport in NY City? This is literally a hotel within the airport grounds. Views of planes the best of any airport. And it's really cool, like a museum. Hubby and I stayed there once. It wasn't even that expensive. Hubby swam in the hotel pool with a perfect view of a runway. You can learn about it at Photos | TWA Hotel at JFK Airport

Oh soupe

Thanks, Nammu! You know what? Writing what I did actually motivated me to finally wash my hair. It was a pain in the butt, but it's done. My left ear is a little more clogged than usual, though. It had seemed to have been getting a little better. Oh well! Hubby has been wanting me to go to an ENT for a while, but it hasn't happened. He says I talk too loudly a lot. Frequently in my life I have to go because of very clogged ear(s). When I do, it's an instant relief. I have always procrastinated, but here in CZ I feel bad having to ask Hubby for help to make so many appointments. I still think my sinusitis is part of the reason, but an ENT said no.

Sorry. I'm so irritable.

Yay 😀 for washed hair. Now to tackle ent issue! Just one step at a time! When does hubby get home?

He said around 6 pm or so. So 1 1/2 hours from when I'm typing this. There'll be a grocery delivery before then, so dinner will be ready lickity split. He originally planned to be home by 3 pm, but his friend wanted more time with him. Kinda important as that friend helped us a bit with the property buy.