Bipolar check-in #70

Ugh. Nausea came back hardcore. Dr sent me in zofran and carafate. Hard to focus

Well the new pdoc isn’t going to work out. She asked if I had any trauma and I said yes. She then proceeded to lecture me that bipolar symptoms and PTSD symptoms overlap and I won’t know if I have bipolar unless I do EMDR therapy. That if I do I may be able to come off some of my meds. I think I know the damn difference between my trauma symptoms and bipolar symptoms thank you very much. I’ve had bipolar since before the trauma even happened. I was a mess when I was a teenager and I only managed to pull it together after I had ECT.

I don’t like it when new pdocs try to rediagnose you in the first session. You don’t even know me! I had another one once try to tell me I had borderline not bipolar in the first session. It makes me mad. Ugh I’m so mad my old pdoc is not available anymore.

So I’m stuck on the haldol for longer and everything is just going to get worse. She raised the propranolol that is supposed to control the tremors (which it does not). But she told me I have to monitor my blood pressure with that much so what, I’m supposed to buy a home blood pressure machine now? Ugh.

Well fine, if they want me to take all this **** I will so I can prove how bad it is.

@wildflowerchild25 I’m sorry you went through that crap and she was not helpful to you. Are you stuck with her? Please keep advocating for yourself.

I’m in for the night, enjoying the fireplace and reading a good book. I’ll head to bed soon. I like getting up between 3-4 to post on the thread, sit outside in the hot tub and reflect. There is a great game room upstairs with a full sized table. I’ve been perfecting my game. I talk to S many times a day and he is trying to clear his schedule to get up here. Hopefully, by Friday.

I spent my day watching Grotto Falls. I’ll catch other things later. So relaxing. I stopped by a swanky restaurant that is always packed and ordered a strawberry spinach salad and house quiche to go. I’m not here to be around folks. I was friendly enough but my vibes read no trespassing I’m certain.

I will go horseback riding or zip lining or both tomorrow as it’s going to rain Thursday. I may go while it’s raining and see my favorite artist’s gallery.

I’m doing really well. Not thinking of returning home soon. I hope everyone has a peaceful evening.

So glad your enjoying the beauty around you ! Cades cove is BEAUTIFUL! every time I’ve been to the mountains that’s one of my favorite places!

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I’m sorry dealing with your Dad always has conditions. So much hassle. Great news on your moving up with employment.

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Oh so zofran is helping. I’m sucking on a sf mint and it’s helping too. I don’t have any peppermint tea. I need to get some.

No, she was the first in-network person I called. There’s other ones around. I need a female though, the on that told me I had borderline was a man and I feel he was prejudiced against me because I am a woman and women often get stuck with the BPD label. Not that women don’t really have BPD but again, I’ve been in this game for a long time and I know the difference in symptoms.

I’m going to try the APN in the practice my old pdoc works at even though I’ll have to pay out of pocket. I don’t have it in me to call all these different pdocs right now.

It is like you are on a retreat with out the supervision. You keep doing what you want to do. Is this a family cabin? It sounds lovely.
I am happy that you are enjoying your vacation.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Oh damn girl ( insert giant sarcastic eyeroll)

I think it’s ridiculous for any new provider to think they have a clue about someone right off the bat .

Can you see other Pdoc even if you have to self pay ?

Make life simple and buy a wrist cuff blood pressure machine. I think I paid 25 ? Upping your dose does put you at risk of low blood pressure.

I’m so sorry your going through such nonsense. I hope you can get off Haldol soon. Do you have a endocrinologist? My maybe find out what can be done if your back on Invega and have prolactin problems ?! I just remember you had really great stability on it.

Take care of you !

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Well I got the job !!!! I start Thursday at 1pm. It’s not a job I’m thrilled about but God brought it to me so I’m good to go.

The best part is it’s not me driving all the way into town. It’s only 7 miles which is a huge blessing because driving back and forth to town daily is 40 miles !

Thank you all for continued support in my search for a job

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So happy for you Christina!

Congratulations 🍾 7 miles is very do able

yes yes yes!
congratulations.
what type of job is it?
I hope that you are able to do your best at it.

What ever it is.....excited for you. I hope it is a good fit for you. And you may make a friend or 2.
bizi

Thank you everyone !

Bizi it’s a job at a gas station. It’s a incredibly busy store because they self hot fried country food lol. I hope to get back into a medical office as that’s been most of my adult professional life.

**********

PSA~

I meant to mention there is a breathing medication Steve needs that is over 350.00 a month WITH his medication insurance

I am going through a Canadian pharmacy and I can get a 3 month supply for 69.99 ! I just had to email a pic of script and dropped it in the mail. 2-4 weeks from now he will have it. ( I know numerous people that use this company and it’s legit )

Anyway I’m using Pharmstore.com maybe it could help someone with med cost ?!

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That’s outrageous!

@~Christina congratulations on your new job! I’m so pleased for you.

Smart move on Steve’s medication needs but then you are a smart lady.

Getting a late start today. I like to start no later than 4 but I woke up with a bad case of vertigo. No worries - I have my Promethazine with me. It just makes me unusually drowsy. I’ve been dozing on and off since I woke at 4.

I’m starting to be alert now and getting ready to head out to the stables and then I’ll go zip lining. I think I’ll hike to Laurel Falls today though I don’t consider that a true hike as it’s paved and about 2 miles round trip.

S will be here tomorrow after lunch. Lovely.

@bizi it is a secluded cabin that I rented for an extended period of time. I had a intuition that I would need a bolt hole and if I didn’t, S and I then M and I could enjoy it. It’s secluded enough that you need 4WD to access it in the winter months. Just the way I like it. I’m thoroughly enjoying myself.

I hope everybody has a peaceful day. Much love.

Do you wear a mask when you go shopping etc? Coz literally anyone you come into contact with could have it and pass it on to you.

Sorry you got Covid. I hope it doesn’t get too bad and you recover soon!

No I don't wear a mask, but I only go out shopping maybe twice a week and during the mornings on weekdays when its not busy. I never eat out. At the doctors I wear a mask. My mom was freaking out more then me when the results came in and she was texting my sister and aunt and they were like "wtf, where did he get it from." Because I do very little compared to everyone else.

You can get it anywhere.

Ahh it was dark,dark this morning when the alarm went off. Dark and rainy. But by the time I went off to aqua fitness the sun was out. Still it is now cool enough that I have to put clothes on over my suit. The leaves have mostly changed and are falling. Fall is well and truly here.

Mary a 92 yr old in out aqua and fitness class tore her hamstring so she’ll be out for a while. We might meet up for coffee Friday. But she might go out of state, so we’ll see. Gosh I hope I’m doing as well as she does when I’m 92! Two younger woman joined the group this week. They are only in their 40’s. Most of us are 60’s-70’s.

Yesterday I did some outside stuff. Except for the wind it was an excellent day. 79F our last at that temperature for the year. A cold front came though last night and it’s below average temperatures for the next week.

I’m trying to stay active ( get to all 4 of my aqua fitness and all 3 of my fitness classes, plus be active at home) to get my immune system activated and eat healthy ( cut my daily one soda) for the same reason as they keep saying on the news that this year is going to be bad for flu and covid. I’m betting with all I do I’ll run into carriers. So hoping a strong immune response will help. 🍁

🍦ice cream for all plus swirly purple sparkle ✨ vibes

Congrats on the new job Christina!

Had an appointment with my psychiatrist today. We talked about my volunteer thing and how its going well, focusing on tasks at hand and serving the food instead of getting lost in my anxiety and panicking. So I'm doing better with that. We also talked about college, I'm starting back in January. We talked about my history of rushing into things and taking on too much at once. I used to take 5 classes per semester. I had one really successful semester doing that then the following semester pretty much broke down and was a mess, unstable, and had to withdraw. It was too much and very overwhelming. I don't do well with large amounts of stress. So I'm taking things slow this time and only taking 2 classes. I'm gonna continue volunteering till mid November, then stop for the holidays, then just focus primarily on school until I feel I can manage it then look for a part-time job So I'm taking things one step at a time.

She also prescribed Metfomin to help with losing some weight I've gained on the antipsychotics I'm on. I was on it a long time ago and lost weight while on it, but I got off it because I was having side effects, but I was on 1,000mg at the time which she said was a lot so we're doing 500mg this time and hopefully that gives me the benefits of it without the side effects from the high dose. I'm exercising regularly and eating healthy too of course.

Volunteering again tomorrow, hoping it goes well again, just going to go and do my best.

Hope everyone is having a decent week

Great job with doing aqua fitness and staying active! Staying active has helped my mental health in addition to physical health so it's a great thing to do and will definitely help your immune system

I just got my flu and bivalent covid shots on Saturday, was really tired from the covid one but no other side effects