Bipolar Check-in #72

Sorry you had to go back on the Haldol, wfc. I know how much you hated the side effects. But you'll stabilize soon and that's what matters, right? Good on you for making a plan on handling things in the meantime.

Last night was the second night in a row where I slept good. I don't know whats up, but I'm happy about it. My anxiety is fine today too. I know I switched to decaf coffee. I still drink Coke in the morning so I'm not going into full caffeine withdrawel. Today I got my full workout done. I was able to do 50 ab crunches and I finally did 50 reverse ab crunches. Then I did 80 arm weights, 50 squats with my kettlebell, 50 side bends on each arm with my kettlebell, 130 crunches with my ab roller, then I tried the planks again and I did 3. It was a lot easier this time. I did one for just over 40 seconds and then the other 2 were close to 20 seconds. I used my ab pad and I'm not sure if thats cheating or not if I'm not completely on a flat surface. I could still feel the burn though in my abs so maybe its ok. It was a good 30 minute workout and I'm not in any pain.

Anyways, yesterday I managed the day with just 2 valium since I took an extra one on Monday. It was just weird how low my anxiety was. I'm not sure if it is the change to decaf or if I feel at ease knowing I can take my time with the job search since I got reapproved for disabilty. Idk. But its a good change

I'm going to pick up the makings for chia pudding and see if its any good. I saw it on the Today Show and I found a recipe online that looked very easy.

I’ve been having so many nightmares and disrupted sleep lately. I also accidentally cut my eye lid with scissors and it’s sore. I see new pdoc next week. Not sure what to tell him. I don’t feel so happy and upbeat anymore….

My daughter talked to the nurse. She said to take mum to ER. Short story, she’s been admitted for heart failure. There’s a chance she won’t be coming home.

Oh nammu I’m so sorry

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed ...Watching my therapist gush over her is kinda embarrasing to be honest. At least the baby didnt cry. I'm making all this progress with my agoraphobia and being able go leave my house and feeling ready to go back to work because of the increase in Prestiq that I had to beg my pdoc for because he claimed it wouldn't help. Well....

I adore babies and I still understand how you feel. It would annoy me if my t gushed over a baby or anyone else when I went for my session. I think most clients would feel the same.

And yeah, I'm really, really, really (did I say really?) fed up with having to plead with med prescribers so I can feel better.

I love chia pudding, btw.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed I just asked my mom what Silicone Valley meant and she told me it was an area in California where a lot of computer realated companies are located. I thought it was a term for super rich people who got a lot of plastic surgery or used a lot of dieting products. Idk. I swore I heard something like that somewhere.

Silicon Valley is a region in northern California just south of San Francisco. It's not too far from where I live. Your mom is correct in that Silicon Valley is a mecca for the tech world.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 My haldol-less experiment has ended. ...

I'm sorry wfc. I was really pulling for you on that one. Making the list was a wise thing to do. You are so strong when it comes to using good, healthy tools.

I finished my book and I need a new one to distract me from my depression and intrusive thoughts but I can’t bear the thought of leaving the house. I might be able to get out but the thought of walking into a store and choosing a couple of books is even more daunting. But I lost my kindle charger so I can’t use it. I’m not really interested in watching anything so I’ve been staring into space for the past hour. I would lay in bed but RS would tell me that’s no good. And he’s right.

I can’t color right now due to my carpal tunnel so I’m really kinda beat.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this @Nammu. I can understand how terribly hard it is.

Thinking of you and your mum @Nammu. Are you able to be with her in the hospital?

Oh Nammu I’m so sorry. Sending you both lots of love.

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Yes. It’s limited to two visitors but that’s not a problem. But have new information. She has pneumonia again. I’m not sure she ever completely got over the other round she had. So that’s what’s affecting her heart. I bet when I go in to see her tomorrow she will be perked up from the antibiotics. I hope they keep her longer this time so she can heal completely from pneumonia. This time though people can visit her so that might help

I have lost all motivation since my wife passed away. Well I got off my butt today and did some house cleaning. It actually felt good do do something.

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I slept until 10 a.m. today. Being off Haldol is starting to have some symptoms. Earlier today, I was looking at a still photo but then it began to move! That's happened before but not for a long time. (It wasn't an animated gif.). One of my friends that I had coffee with this afternoon noticed a difference in me saying he really likes the new me. I don't know what he meant by that except I was feeling relaxed and cheerful and my brain was working well.

Nammu that's sad that your mom's pneumonia is back. I hope the keep her in the hospital until it's well and truly gone.

There is a medication used to improve appetite.
It is called megace. I think that is how you spell it.
bizii

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Yes. It’s limited to two visitors but that’s not a problem. But have new information. She has pneumonia again. I’m not sure she ever completely got over the other round she had. So that’s what’s affecting her heart. I bet when I go in to see her tomorrow she will be perked up from the antibiotics. I hope they keep her longer this time so she can heal completely from pneumonia. This time though people can visit her so that might help

Oh, the antibiotics will certainly help. So will visitors.

I was my mom's (she had cardiac illness) caregiver from the time I was twelve (long story) until she died when I was 42. Something I will pass along, just in case. I learned that if I gave the nurses and doctors the belief that I was entirely capable of caring for my mom at home they would send her home sooner. When I began to say No, I cannot do this, you absolutely must keep her an additional night (or 2), they did.

The usual, I'm frustrated with how my medication management is being handled. I resent being told what to put into my body and how much of it (or not). I'm fed up with:

*Being afraid to smile or
*Accidentally interrupt the prescriber's sentence or
*Be my naturally expressive self because that's who I am or
*Use my hands when I describe something or
*(Truly forbidden) say I feel happy!

-because I'll be told "You're-manic-so-not-enough-anti-depressant-for-you."

I especially resent it when the person in control of the situation is easily young enough to be my child.

I'm persistent and I'm going to keep at it until I find a different prescriber who sees a person, not a box.

@Nammu, I'm so sorry to read how ill your mom is. I'm sending healing wishes to her and hugs to you all, during this scary time.

@otroo, congrats on the house cleaning. Do let that good feeling continue to motivate you in the future.

My whole body hurts. Yesterday's errands were too much too soon for us, but we liked our visit to our upcoming new home. Today we also have plenty to do, but can all be done without going out. We wanted to go get blood tests done this morning, but skipped it as we wern't able to get out of bed until after 11 am. Hopefully tomorrow. It's long overdue.

Next week will be ultra busy with various medical-related appointments and house related things. The week after looks kinder.

My husband and I are again on the outs with his two sisters. I sort of don't care. No time to. We're under more stress than them and don't need more. Sick of their needless criticism!

@Nammu I'm so sorry about your mum. Here's to hoping she recovers

Stormed since 4am. Ugh. Me
Jeans are
Soaked after coming into work.

I’ve been having nightmares for an over a week now and disrupted sleep. All I wanna do is sleep 24/7. I don’t feel like socializing or doing anything but laying around. I can’t do that though

Thank you so much for the well wishes. 🙏