Bipolar Check-in #72

Hope it goes well WFC!

Will be sending vibes your way tomorrow and thinking of you.

Mum went down to the floor today when I arrived at the hospital. It was like it was at home, her legs just went weak on her. But the aide who was walking her was able to lower her to the floor and get help. So it wasn’t a fall. It took them using the ceiling lift to get her off the floor. That was very upsetting to her. She couldn’t stand on her legs. But she’s not reading eating either. They also released her to the nursing home. I did all the paper work except the DNR. I said that had to be her decision. She decided on a DNR. That makes this very real.

I’m back to feeling upppp! Idk why

I slept very little. My mind was too awake. And I keep
Getting night sweats for weeks now. I was hot and cold all damn night

My husband had dropped almost 50lbs in water this month. I'm coming to the realization that if we had continued to live where we previously lived he would have died. It's not like he suddenly put the weight on. No one there checked his heart even when a test came back weird. And just told him he needed to loose weight. According to them he was overweight, high blood pressure and nothing more. Which scares me because my blood has always been funky and Dr after Dr has shrugged it off. So I'm scared about that too. I've had some medical problems for over 20 years. This whole thing has shown me how pushed aside we've been because we don't have private insurance.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25 Having my surgery tomorrow so if I don’t update for a few days that’s why, I will be reading though! Hugs to everyone!

I know that everything will go very well! The surgery you're having will be immensely helpful when you heal - let us know how you are when you can type. In the meantime

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu Mum went down to the floor today when I arrived at the hospital. It was like it was at home, her legs just went weak on her. But the aide who was walking her was able to lower her to the floor and get help. So it wasn’t a fall. It took them using the ceiling lift to get her off the floor. That was very upsetting to her. She couldn’t stand on her legs. But she’s not reading eating either. They also released her to the nursing home. I did all the paper work except the DNR. I said that had to be her decision. She decided on a DNR. That makes this very real.

I'm sorry. I wish old age didn't have to be demeaning for so many people. I'm sending you hugs, Nammu. Hang in there, sweetie.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom ....This whole thing has shown me how pushed aside we've been because we don't have private insurance.

Absolutely, and the situation is appalling. I fight, Mm. I hang on like a dog with a bone to get my health care needs met. To say "I'm assertive" is putting it mildly. If they say "someone will call you, hopefully today" I give them 90 minutes, 2 hours max, and I call back.


It is disgusting, in a country as wealthy as ours is, that we have to fight for medical care. But we do. Don't let anyone blow you off.

WFC- hope your surgery went well today and you're recovering nicely by this point

Nammu- sorry your mum had another weak legs moment, but there's not many better places for that to happen so at least there's that.

Beth- You know the more you go out, the less the anxiety will be. The more you stay in, the greater it will be when you do go out.

Mm- I hope your health is a-okay, or at least that you can get checked out and find out if something is indeed wrong. Try not to worry in the meantime and take care of yourself.

Hugs to all

Wheee! I awoke to an absolutely gorgeous sunny day Yes, it's winter and quite chilly, the sky is a winter-blue, but it IS blue! The cats are stretched out on the bedroom sunbeams. Tomorrow we may have some showers, but after that sunny days are predicted.

I'm getting a haircut tomorrow. My favorite thing, getting my hair done

I've ordered pink fairy lights to hang around my living room for Valentine's Day, and I bought a strand of the prettiest lights, light-pink roses that light up. I can't wait to hang them

Less than a month until pitchers and catchers report
XOXO

I slept last night. I don't remember falling asleep. I just remember waking up at 1:30. Then I got back to sleep until 4. My throat isn't feeling the best and my anxiety is tough for some reason. I tried getting my zofran and gastro med refilled. The zofran is being processed. That is filled by my primarary. The gastro med was denied. I think the gastro doctor wants to see me again. I don't want to see him because I'm worried he'll want to do an endoscopy and I'd rather just take the meds. I probably just need to lay off the coffee or the something. I bought some coffee creamer today "therapists orders" and some sumo mandarians. I guess I just don't feel 100% but I don't know why. I know my throat is bugging me a lot. I can't tell if its the nodules or something else.

I was waiting with my mom at the pharmacy and I was looking at the soda while she went ahead to get the prescrptions and then I went up there and pretended to look very interested in the Vicks products. I actually kinda was since I use that stuff. A lady came up and said to the pharamacist "is he in line?" Then the pharamacist said "no, hes with mom" Theres a whole lot going on with this. Its good they gendered me correctly. But why didn't the lady ask me. How did the pharamacist know I was my moms son. My mom was wondering the same thing. Also whats up with this whole "hes with "mom" thing?" I am almost 30 years old and I wish I were treated that way. I have to admit I was dressed young today. It was just one of those days where I had to wear what fit.

I did order a few polo shirts. I'm hoping they make me look somewhat older.

I see destruction due to all this rain in the news and that poor little boy I hope that things level off soon !

Stay dry !

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Could it be the time of year ? I’m a little over 3 months of virtually no ambition. This is pretty common for me this time of year. I personally don’t want to change my meds because this feels more seasonal. I just try and push myself to do a few things a day and give myself some grace. Can you structure your day a bit more maybe ?

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Oh Nammu I’m sorry Mum isn’t bouncing back and on her feet yet. Hopefully the further PT she will receive in nursing home will help !

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Hopefully you both will have good providers that will help improve your health !

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Good luck on your surgery! What a relief that will be to not have the pain anymore !

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Well I’m still taking Ambein every night. I dunno why other than it just knocks me out so I don’t overthink stuff

I still am struggling with this depression. I’m really like “ meh” about stuff right now. No desire to increase or change meds at this point tho since current meds I’m not having unwanted side effects from. Don’t want to kick that hornets nest.

I see Richard tomorrow it’s been a month since I cancelled because I was so sick recently. I want to do more IFS work even tho it’s exhausting to the point I need to lay down for a while when I get home.

I think Steve is finally getting better Thank God ! Im just grateful we had antibiotics and Steroids on hand. I’m headed to town early tomorrow so I can make calls to find us a new GP. I’m still so incredibly sad our GP closed his office. We were so lucky to have such great health care for over 10 years.

Today it was much warmer out so I opened a few windows ! Felt great to get some fresh air. We have storms coming off and on over the next week. I just hope none are severe! We had nasty storms a few days ago and hail was pounding us like crazy. I always panic a bit when there’s hail because it can be a heads up for tornado activity.

Last night I finally made a dinner that wasn’t over cooked or under cooked ! The last couple weeks I’ve just been “ off” in the kitchen. I’m a very good cook so it’s been frustrating to struggle. It’s from the new med Rinvoq and it making me sick I’m sure ! Still not sure about staying in this med it’s got some very serious cardiac issues possible. I see my rheumatologist next month so I’ll discuss with him further. I mean I’d rather not have a heart attack. Always something isn’t it !

Oh oh on a exciting note a friend got me a signed copy of the first book in my most favorite book series. I was so excited I was shrieking like a lil girl at Christmas that got a pony LOL !

Ok I’m rambling !

Hugs and love to y’all !

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The news today reminds me of a Dr. Seuss book. "You are not safe in a plane, nor at work, you are not safe fom a politician or from a 2 year old as well."

Christina I’m glad things are improving In little ways.

Wildflower healing vibes your way

Beth, those lights sound fantastically whimsical

Mum was holding her own today, and even all on her own pushed the button to ask for afternoon coffee! Usually she will sit in silence and suffer. I was glad to see her do that.

I forgot this was Tuesday and I wanted to go see avatar. On Tuesdays it’s $5.50 so more reasonable. But I forgot.

To everyone else cookies and cheesecake. Hugs and head nods.

I’m finally headed to bed. I completed a Tooooon of homework I couldn’t seem to do when I felt so depressed last week. I see new pdoc tomorrow!

I hope it goes well HallieBeth!

Thanks. I’m not sure what all to talk about as I’m feeling great again. Last week I was extreme depressed and crying. Today I’ve felt amazing!!! I got up at 6:30-left for school practicum by 7:30. Left there at. 4:30pm. Went to grocery. Took long way home (traffic ugh!!). Made dinner. Did 9 assignments abd now I’m trying to wind down

Then that's what you say. He knows you are bipolar and we do things like that. It's why bipolar is interesting to watch; we change from random extremes to other random extremes. He just needs to keep you from having another change.

I hope it goes well with him. I think I said that but I'm tired and honestly don't remember. So better saying it 2x than 1

Well, I have been through two accidents, each requiring surgery, The latest accident involved a car hitting me when I was on an e-scooter. I have had to take months off from work. I still need a walker, The surgeon had to use ten plates to put me back together, The X-ray looks bizarre. Those screws are long. My application for short term leave has been turned down because the hospital has not given them my medical records, costing me thousands in lost wages.

My daughter and I have not been talking for the past couple months, She is not concerned at all about my welfare, and how close it came to losing her father. She only thinks of herself. So I have not been helped by my daughter. I have had to rely on neighbors, and services paid only in part by my health insurance. Now I owe thousands of dollars, and may also need to pay the insurance back for the bills it covered, which is quite allot of money. I already have a $60,000 of debt to pay off before all of this happened. At least I do not hurt anywhere near as much as I did a couple months ago.

Oh well. What is money anyways?