Bipolar check in #73

JaneOnceMore · Feb 26, 2023, 06:29 PM

It was a nice Winter day here with unusually warm sun and sparkling fresh snow. I sat outside and soaked up the vitamin D. I also got to some housework i've been putting off.

HALLIEBETH87 · Feb 26, 2023, 07:08 PM

I am SO relieved that my mean azz relatives are gone! They suck the
Joy out of any room they enter!! Ugh!

I’m about to do my last assignments for my understanding art class. This is the last week!’ (We do intense 8 week classes). And then I have 69 days til graduation! My
Cap and gown came in already!!!

Victoria'smom · Feb 26, 2023, 08:00 PM

So Miguel is trying to find a job, to get a mortgage to get a duplex, to convert the first floor into something I can manage on my own. So if h has to go to the hospital again, He also wants to be right there. This is a huge step from "I'm never moving out again." He's also looking at PhD programs so his meds are helping. I just don't want him to make to many big moves fast. It looks right now like I have to get use to here. I keep telling him it's a long term goal. I'm struck by how sweet that is even to think about.

I'm still hardly getting out of bed but I haven't cried in about 4 days. The meds make me nauseous all day and night. Hopefully that goes away soon.

*Beth* · Feb 26, 2023, 08:40 PM

I'm glad you haven't cried for four days @Miguel'smom. Not crying anymore is a huge thing. What a relief! I just hope the nausea goes away now.

bizi · Feb 26, 2023, 08:49 PM

mm, how old is miguel?

Aurelius710 · Feb 26, 2023, 09:17 PM

Finally feeling somewhat rested, yet sore, if that makes any sense. The feeling of taking your sleep-in session too far. At any rate, it's early evening and I'm wide awake (will probably be most of the night) but at least I don't feel like I'm going to fall asleep at the wheel. That happened a few times.

Since I'm up and at 'em, I ordered way too expensive pizza for dinner, picked up a soda for the trip down (pizza place is one town over) with the enigmatic flavor of "Transformation".

Once I get back, probably a combination of TV and video games. Something to turn the mind off this evening.

BeyondtheRainbow · 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

Ooh, I used Aveda products for years. But they stopped making the shampoo I liked...sap moss something. It was a gentle shampoo and I've no idea why they stopped making it, as it seemed popular.

@*Beth*
I thought I remembered this so I checked and guess what?

Search | Aveda

Samicat · Feb 26, 2023, 09:40 PM

I love your avatar, Aurelius

Victoria'smom · Feb 26, 2023, 09:42 PM

@bizi Miguel is 20, He basically did his first 2 years college in high school and his master's he'll be done in December. FL was excellent in that way for him. He's fallen in love with the new city we're in mainly that he doesn't have to learn to drive. He's finally taking his health seriously and that includes mental health medication. So he's becoming more optimistic every day.

Samicat · Feb 26, 2023, 09:43 PM

So I'm new here and diagnosed as Bipolar II. Also have Atypical depression.

I'm so sick of the rollercoaster. And I like *real* rollercoasters!

I was oversleeping a lot so started Abilify as it had helped me before. Unfortunately this time all it did was make me wake up in the middle of the night and be unable to get back to sleep. Even at a tiny dose. So off it I come. I am exhausted.

Too little sleep and I start to get hypomania. Too much and I am so depressed. Ugh

Hugs to you all.

~Christina · Feb 27, 2023, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soupe du jour

@~Christina, I think end of March, hopefully. That should only be the interior work, though. Exterior work will continue after we're in.

I don't recall Geodon really "pooping out" for me. Hopefully it won't for you either. I will say that it was most effective taken as the maker suggests (twice per day and with food). In the beginning I took all 160 mg at night, with a pdoc's permission, because of sedation. Later I went back to 80/80 mg and saw a positive difference. After time, the sedation went away and I even needed a little extra sleep aid added, but it was more a lowered sedation issue than moodstabilizing issue. During much of the time I took Geodon, my moods were a hair above baseline. Felt like a million bucks, but not out of control! I also lost 40 lbs and maintained most of the loss for over 5 years after. During that time, I also took Lithium, Lamictal, and later Tegretol XR and later a small dose of a second antipsychotic for sleep. Big cocktail. Later going off Lithium only improved my life quality more. I know Geodon was effective for me because as I was weaned off (for late onset akathisia), my moods destabilized. Only when full off did the other antipsychotic dose(s) go well beyond "sleep aid".

Thank you for your experience on Geodon. I also take my doses with food so it will be absorbed fully. I took my second dose last night and I did have some sedation but not as much as when I first started. Here’s hoping it works well I’m really tired of hopping from med to med to med.

Will you have help moving all your things into your new home?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

~Christina · Feb 27, 2023, 01:07 AM

Nammu I’m glad the service went well. That’s great you had the nice Sister and Bil over. If your like me after the services the loss of my parents started to really set in. Go easy on yourself during such a rough time in your life. It will evolve into a new “ normal” Much love. I’m here if you need anything.

MM I think that’s great that Miguel is looking into employment and smart of him to starting getting finances in order to eventually down the road to qualify for a mortgage. That can often take a year or 2 to get stuff lined up.

Wild if your out there I’m sending to love ! Take care of you !!!

Hallie ! Thank god they left ! Jackazz annoying jerks

Beth how’s your weather ?

Blue Hope your week starts off on a good note.

Rainbow. Thinking of you and hoping the Emsam can get sorted quickly. You so need to turn the corner.. spring is on the way.

~~~~~

I so need my insurance to authorize Skyrizi. My entire head is a itchy hell. I have a prescription strength shampoo.but it literally burns like a torch. I don’t wish this auto immune disorder on my enemies

Here’s hoping this new week is off
To a good start.

Hugs !

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

*Beth* · Feb 27, 2023, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

@*Beth*
I thought I remembered this so I checked and guess what?

Search | Aveda

Ha! Well, that's a nice surprise! I haven't seen their Sap Moss shampoo for years in the salons I've checked. Never occurred to me to check their website. Thank you, Rainbow

*Beth* · Feb 27, 2023, 01:43 AM

Welcome to the forum, @Samicat. Are you a cat person? I share my home with 5 cats.

Soupe du jour · Feb 27, 2023, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samicat

So I'm new here and diagnosed as Bipolar II. Also have Atypical depression.

I'm so sick of the rollercoaster. And I like *real* rollercoasters!

I was oversleeping a lot so started Abilify as it had helped me before. Unfortunately this time all it did was make me wake up in the middle of the night and be unable to get back to sleep. Even at a tiny dose. So off it I come. I am exhausted.

Too little sleep and I start to get hypomania. Too much and I am so depressed. Ugh

Hugs to you all.

Welcome to the community here, @Samicat!

It certainly does suck when you go from one issue too far to an opposite (such as with your sleep issues). I call that the "see saw effect". But I'm sure with some more trials and/or time that your sleep will eventually balance out. I hope it does soon.

Soupe du jour · Feb 27, 2023, 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Will you have help moving all your things into your new home?

Yes, we have a friend who is also managing all of the renovations who will help. Also, as the move-in time approaches we will start bringing stuff, little by little. Plus, the bulk of our stuff is also in storage near the new house, so it doesn't have far to travel. As for food we have at the rental, I'll be trying to use up as much as possible before the move, save staple pantry stuff.

That's good that your evening sedation from Geodon isn't too excessive.

Soupe du jour · 03:39 AM

We've struggled to get an IKEA commissioned kitchen installer to finally finish the kitchen installation. It's so close to being done, but delay after delay and miscommunications are happening. I wish I could speak the language to try my hand at getting this settled right. Installers showed up this morning, but the wrong ones (counter people rather than cabinet ones), so they left. The counters aren't due to be ready until spring, as they'll be custom cut for our unique and small kitchen.

Today we sign some final paperwork with the realtor of the seller of our new place. We already own it, but the last bits are more formality. After today, we'll hopefully never see that realtor again. We will see the seller a lot. He kept a large barn and a bit of property behind what we bought. He's an elderly man who does highly skilled metal working (blacksmith). He's clearly sad that he had to sell. The property was in his family for over 150 years. We're sympathetic to that. We imagine it saddens him that a city boy Praguer (Hubby) and a foreigner (me) now own it. It's understandable. After we settle in, I'll have Hubby invite him for some coffee and dessert (or drinks).

Rosi700 · Feb 27, 2023, 06:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Beth*

I've been sleeping really well, and maybe it sounds odd, but almost too well. Sleep that is so deep I don't recall my dreams and I have a hard time coming into consciousness. I take 10mg of melatonin every night; I'm wondering if I should try only 5mg.

I need to call my sister and I'm dragging my feet. I feel rotten, guilty, and mostly SAD. Her dementia is getting worse and talking with her on the phone is hard. Last time we spoke she was sharp and a bit hostile (not at all to me, just her attitude, in general). I really fear that as her dementia worsens, she will become angrier. She accused our BIL (our other sister's husband) of "sleeping with that young woman who used to live with them."

It took me quite a while to figure out that the "young woman" my sis was referring to was actually our BIL's younger sister, who had briefly lived with our sister and BIL back in the late '70's. Yikes. So I reminded my sis that the young woman was our BIL's sister. My sis replied, "Oh, well! That's what he claimed, anyway!"

It was very upsetting. My sis knows our BIL's sister well, but somehow she's forgotten and has twisted stuff up.

It's hard, because I call my sis, then feel rotten, and I'm here by myself isolating too much. What I'm trying to say is that I fear my own depression. But I want to talk with her...I suppose I'm grieving for the loss of who she was.

I also need to call my niece and a friend who keeps leaving messages. I'm really not a phone person. Maybe I'll manage to call my niece today.

I have a new water bottle to take to therapy sessions. It has a cover of gold sparkles and a straw. That way, I don't have to unscrew a lid every time I need water during session. Small thing, but it makes me feel good. I drink a lot of water, so I experiment with different types of water bottles.

Sage cleansing...

This is hard to digest for you, Beth. It is hard when people change. It is as if we lose them one part at a time and so it is the worries of how it all will end.

Rosi700 · Feb 27, 2023, 06:35 AM

I am still sad. The feeling of not having accomplished what I wanted is still with me, but not so intense. I am trying to stay in the here and now, and that helps to some degree. I am going to force myself to go for a walk later.

Rosi700 · Feb 27, 2023, 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rosi700

I am still sad. The feeling of not having accomplished what I wanted is still with me, but not so intense. I am trying to stay in the here and now, and that helps to some degree. I am going to force myself to go for a walk later.

I am on my way out for the walk. I have done a lot of thinking since my last input here.

CBT is not so simple as many think (I acknowledge others the right to have other favorite therapies, but I want to appreciate this approach for myself). I was on my way out of depression some weeks ago when, as I have already told, somebody figuratively "smashed my face" by telling me that CBT is too simplistic.

If someone becomes bored by reading this, just jump over it.

When CBT is successfully done one shall be able to recognise possible triggers, and then at the same time avoid an emotional experience or at least it will help to not let the episode become too strong.

I think, since I wasn't able to see "the smashing" as a trigger, it was because it was an unexpected trigger and I was at that point very weak (little energy because of a physical illness) plus that I have tendencies to feel down in the darkest of the winter months. (I have read more about CBT; Now with the purpose to try to diagnose what happened to me some weeks ago and I think the way I described it above is the real thruth. If one wants to use CBT one has to be honest to oneself).

Back to the "The feeling of not having accomplished what I wanted is still with me". That postulate is only part true. I can see that now. In my grown up life I have been a mother (grandchildren at Uni now), I have had good grades at Uni myself and I have worked as some sort of a counsellor. I cannot call that for "not coping".

I am older now (closer to 75 than to 70) and I have the capacity to work for only a couple of hours a week (and that has economical conequenses for me). For the time being I don't work at all because of the relapse. But so it is to become older, especially if one has to battle depressions with some "light ups" at the same time, grieve because the loss of husband and best friend and more.

It is nothing to be ashamed of. I know I am ranting, but it means so much to me to be able to see the whole picture before I try to go on with my life.

I think I found the right platform to move on from. I have a chronic disorder that I have to take into consideration. I cannot expect to be clever at see in advance triggers all the time, but I need to be more clever forgiving myself for not seeing such...

Well, it is still winter. I have to dress for my walk outside.

bizi · Feb 27, 2023, 10:23 AM

I hope you had a nice walk and that you are sleeping well.
bizi

Aurelius710 · Feb 27, 2023, 11:23 AM

Stepped outside to get my mail and came across a sight. An outdoor bin I use for trash and outdoor odds and ends tipped over in the night and sent trash around my yard and part of the neighbor's yard. I didn't lose the whole bin, thank goodness, but enough got out I did the neighborly thing and cleaned up. Fair enough.

What I struggled to figure out was the plethora of Nerf darts in my yard. I don't own any Nerf guns and the only children who live in the vicinity don't either. Still, Nerf darts were strewn from my mailbox to my backyard.

Most likely kids messing about, but the fact my house was the "chosen one" doesn't make me a happy camper.

My day's off to a fun start!

Crazy Hitch · Feb 27, 2023, 11:52 AM

Woken up with such a headache at 3am. Woke up at about 12 with the same headache. Took painkillers but they’re not working.

Started marking tests yesterday. Was worried half my class would fail because I was sick last week on their revision day and they told me they did nothing that lesson. But nope they’re doing alright. Looks like everyone barring one girl who put her pens down early will pass.

I’m surrounded by clothing bags in my room from having packed all my winter stuff. Weather looks like it’s changing though. It had better stay warmish here in Melbourne Australia until I move on March 24th.

Rosi700 · Feb 27, 2023, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi

I hope you had a nice walk and that you are sleeping well.
bizi

Yes, my walk was a good one with good weather!

Rosi700 · Feb 27, 2023, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aurelius710

Stepped outside to get my mail and came across a sight. An outdoor bin I use for trash and outdoor odds and ends tipped over in the night and sent trash around my yard and part of the neighbor's yard. I didn't lose the whole bin, thank goodness, but enough got out I did the neighborly thing and cleaned up. Fair enough.

What I struggled to figure out was the plethora of Nerf darts in my yard. I don't own any Nerf guns and the only children who live in the vicinity don't either. Still, Nerf darts were strewn from my mailbox to my backyard.

Most likely kids messing about, but the fact my house was the "chosen one" doesn't make me a happy camper.

My day's off to a fun start!

Probably kids messing around and probably not personal.

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